Seven-nineteen. I’ve arrived at school too early.
“Laura, I have something for you.”
“This is for you.”
“Here.”
“I made this for you.”
I’ve made a tape for her.
“Laura, wait, I have to give you something.”
“Hi, how are things? I made you a tape, too. Because you made one for me. And I thought...”
1. “All I Want Is You”
2. Jamiroquai, “Half the Man”
3. Lenny Kravitz, “I Belong to You”
4. “#1 Crush” by Garbage
5. “Sweet Jane” by the Cowboy Junkies
“Hello, Laura, do you have a minute? I have something for you.”
The washroom door opens. Laura sticks her head in and looks around.
“Aren’t the others here yet?”
I shake my head, look at her and wait to see what she’ll do next. She stands in the doorway for a second, then pushes the door wide, comes in and sits down.
I have something for you.
Here. Just for you.
Listen to this.
She takes out her tobacco and starts to roll a cigarette.
“So, how are things?”she says.
“Mmmmh...”Plus head nod equals positive answer.
Here. Just take the damn tape!
“And how was the film?” she asks, still concentrating on the papers and tobacco.
“Which film?”
“Phillip said you went to the movies together.”
“Phillip and I did not go to the movies together!” Shit. “We ran into each other there.”
“So, was it good?”
“Yes.”
In my pocket is the cassette with all the songs that I...
“I saw it, too. With Phillip.” She rolls the cigarette. Looks at me. “Now we have something in common!” It’s how she says it. She’s smiling, but not really, not with her eyes. It looks as if she’s really saying, “At last, finally!”
I won’t give her the cassette.
I never should have kissed her.
But did I kiss her? Or did she kiss me?
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!
Laura lights her cigarette and then looks at me as she exhales.
No smile, no expression, no nothing. She just looks at me.
No, Laura, I have nothing for you. No cassette. Nothing. I’m sorry.
The door opens and Suse and Ines come in.
“Ta-da!” sings Suse. “Guess what? This weekend something is finally going to happen!”
I look up. What?
“Some of the tens and elevens are having a party in the old warehouse. Are you in?” Suse looks at me and Laura. I nod lightly in a way that could also mean maybe. Maybe.
Then I look down at Laura, who is drawing trails with ashes on the floor.