“So what are you doing this weekend?” Ines asks after math.
“We’re going away for the weekend.”
“Really? Where are you going?”
Laura didn’t mention it this morning. I don’t want Suse and Ines to know where we’re going. And above all, I don’t want them to know who “we” are.
“Heading east.”
Ines nods and fishes around in her backpack.
“Are you free later today?” she asks.
I shrug. Look briefly at Laura, who is copying stuff into her notebook.
“Why?”
“I was going to drop by,” Ines says and adds quickly, “I mean for real. I’m not just using you as an excuse.”
“Okay. No problem.” Laura closes her notebook and goes outside.
“When?”
“Around three?”
“Sure.”
Ines hasn’t been to my house very often lately. And I haven’t been to her place in a long time, either.
I like Ines. I like her better than Suse. We’ve known each other since fifth grade, but always with Suse. When it was just two of us it would be me and Suse or Suse and Ines.
Ines has been with Flo for half a year. They met at some holiday camp last summer. Flo’s okay, but sometimes I wonder how he sees her. She always looks pretty ordinary. I mean, when you look at Suse you can see that she thinks about what she puts on every morning. Ines just wears any old junk. Jeans and a sweater. Shoes. Jacket. Nothing special. Yet one morning when she came into the washroom she pulled up this plain gray sweatshirt and underneath it she was wearing a strapless corset. Dark red with black lace and bows and garters. And matching panties. All for Flo. She showed it to us like it was a new book or CD she’d just bought. As if it was totally normal.
Ines comes over in the afternoon. I get a bottle of sparkling water from the cellar, glasses from the kitchen and carry it all up to my room. Put on some music. Ines sits down and takes a glass but she doesn’t drink anything. I really want to ask her whether she’s here because Flo was busy, but I bite my tongue. That would be mean.
“So, what’s new?” I ask her.
“Same as always. Oh, no, wait. Flo’s actually allowed to come over on my birthday.”
“Great. How come?”
“I’m turning sixteen.”
Sixteen means not just alcohol and real ID, it means love.
Sixteen means that Ines can have her boyfriend up to her room with the door shut.
“What’s new with you?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Something’s going on with you, Miriam.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re different. Is something going on that I don’t know about?”
Who can I tell? Laura sure doesn’t want to talk about it. And why should it be a secret? Why not tell Ines?
So I nod.
“Is it a secret?”
“Yes,” I say.
“A good one or a bad one?” Ines frowns.
“Good. I think,” I add quickly.
“Are you in love?”
I nod gently.
She grins. “So, who is it? Do I know him?”
And then I wonder if she will really understand. That there is no “him.” That it’s Laura. And I don’t know any more whether I know Ines well enough, because I don’t know how she will react.
“No.”
“So? How long has it been going on? Are you sleeping together?”
Ines leans forward a bit and a bit of soda spills onto my carpet.
“Does he even know?”
I shake my head.
“Why not?”
“Because. It’s complicated.”
“But why?”
“Because he (he!)...just wants to be friends.”
“Oh, shit.” Ines finally takes a sip from her glass. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. Besides, everything’s good the way it is. Maybe it’s better this way. You can never have enough friends, right?”
Ines shrugs her shoulders and puts down her glass. She stands up and opens the balcony door, sits on the bench and lights a cigarette.
“Do you have the hots for him?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, do you want to touch him and kiss him and everything.”
“Yes.”
“There, see? Having friends is all well and good. But love is also great. Maybe even a bit better.” Ines grins at me.
“Yeah?”
“So what are you waiting for?”
I grin and shrug. Then I go out to the balcony and take a drag from her cigarette.