*Ainslee*
My arms are sore. Every time I move one of them, it hurts. But I am home, sitting on the couch, drinking some warm water and nibbling one of the last pieces of bread.
I shouldn’t be. My family will need it when I’m gone. Though, my stepfather did remind us all on the way home that anyone who has a family member chosen for the culling receives an extra 100 vlads per week as a gift from the king. That’s probably meant to provide plenty of food to make up for that person’s absence, but as I discussed with Zeke, that’s not the case in our village.
“How are you?” Mom sits down next to me and lovingly strokes my hair. Standing outside in the damp weather has her coughing again. I should’ve insisted on holding Sinead, but my sister only wanted her. Now, Mom is not doing well, and I feel miserable.
“I’m okay. I thought they were going to kill me,” I admit.
She sighs. “You’ve got to watch that mouth of yours, my love. I know you come by it naturally. Your father was the same way. But I worry for you. I’m not sure what the conditions are like for feeders now, but if you smart off to the wrong vampire, they’ll likely destroy you. Shifting is illegal at the castle, not that you’ll be strong enough to do it. If you can even keep your mouth shut until you’re old enough.”
“Mom, I’m going to be fine.” I reach over and take her hand. “First of all, this isn’t over yet. I have a chance to make it out of there. Secondly, even if I don’t escape the culling, being a feeder probably isn’t as bad as everyone says. No one knows, really.”
A tear slides down her cheek. “No one knows because you’re forbidden from ever speaking to your family again,” she reminds me. “You’ll be gone forever. My daughter.” Mom breaks into tears, and I pull her against my shoulder.
From the kitchen, Clint makes a clucking sound. I know that he thinks it’s my fault she’s crying. In a way, I suppose it is. She’s crying because she’s going to miss me, after all. But I didn’t say anything to upset her.
“I love you, Mom. So much.” I’m fighting tears, trying to be strong, but they threaten to fall down my cheeks. “I’ll make it back.”
Sinead and Brock are too young to fully grasp what’s happening, but Sinead climbs up into my lap, her eyes slitted from sleepiness. “Where are you going, sissy?”
“I’m just going away for a little while. To help the king,” I explain. “But I’ll be back someday.”
“I’ll miss you.” She leans her head against my shoulder, and now I’m holding my mom and sister while Brock looks at me, bleary eyed, from his spot on the rug.
“I’ll miss you guys, too, so much. But I’ll be okay.” I kiss the top of her head as my mother struggles to stop crying.
It’s late. We’re all tired. I help the littles get ready for bed as Clint takes Mom to her room. Before she goes, she says, “Don’t leave without saying goodbye, Ainslee.”
“I promise I won’t.”
It’s a lie. I can’t tell her goodbye, so I’ll sneak off before the sun comes up, before she’s awake. I look at her tear-streaked face one more time, wondering if it’s the last time I’ll ever see it.
Once everyone else is in bed, I amble around the little house for a few minutes, memories flooding over me.
When I was younger, my father was in the reserves, so we had a bit more money. Things were nicer then. The furniture was newer, as was the rug. We had more food. When he died, all of that died with him. But I still have happy memories from this place. I remember when the littles were born in the bedroom, holding them for the first time. I remember the year my mother managed to do work for other people to gather the ingredients to make me a small cake for my birthday. It had been the best gift I’d ever received, well except for maybe the basket.
It sits nearly empty on the counter now. Mom said she might sell it to one of the Blacks. It’s a good idea. We don’t need a basket because there’s nothing to gather.
When I see the basket, I think of him. The blue eyed vampire whose name I never caught. Will I see him again through all of this, and if I do, will he even remember who I am?
For years now, I’ve wished I had a chance to escape Beotown, to get away from this oppression. Now, I’m trading in one tyrannical way of living for another. If I can gain my freedom by outrunning the vampires, I’ll be free. If I can’t, well, I’ll be a feeder until I die. I’ll never return here, and I’ll never see my family again. I’m not sure which life is worse, but I know for certain neither one of them are full of the adventure and happiness I’ve longed for my entire life.
Exhausted and overwhelmed, I head to bed, taking my place next to Brock, knowing that tomorrow night, they will likely have a lot more room.
I sigh, pulling the thin blanket up to my chin. Maybe I’ll outrun the vampires, and maybe I’ll just keep right on running, through the forest, across the hills, over the plains, out into the wide world that’s out there.
Maybe I’ll keep running and never look back.
As I drift off to sleep for the last time in the bed I’ve slept in every night of my life, I have to wonder if this is the beginning for me—or the end.