*Rafe*
I don’t stay in Ainslee’s room for the night. I could. She’s sound asleep when we finish, but I decide it’s not the best idea. I’d rushed through dinner to get to her. The last thing I need is for rumors to start that we’re fucking. If people know that, it puts her in more danger.
So I go back to my room and take a shower. The last thing I want to do is wash her scent from me, but it’s necessary. Finding it best to keep the water cold so I don’t get hard just thinking about her, I rush through. Then, I get dressed and go to my office.
I got next to nothing done earlier today when all I could think about was her. Now, I see the same paperwork on my desk and imagine it will stay untouched until tomorrow, too. She’s consuming all of my thoughts, and now that I’ve had her, I know that I will take her again and again every time she allows me to.
She’s a drug. I’ve had a little taste and am intoxicated. Recovery is out of the question. I’ll be addicted to her until the day I die.
And if others find out about my need for her, there’s a good possibility it will be sooner rather than later.
Sighing, I rest a head on my hand and note I can still smell a faint trace of her on my skin.
This isn’t ideal. Love is a weakness for someone like me, someone with more enemies than allies. If King Maximus or King Dartmouth find out about her, it will be problematic. Even Queen Cirri, who is usually indifferent, could come up with a way to use this as an advantage.
The only person who might see this is a strength is King Striker. While King Axel wants me to marry his daughter to give her what she wants and make the kingdom stronger, I believe there’s a way to make Shadowglade even stronger by creating an alliance with the one enemy we currently have that is considering making a move.
I’ve sent word to Striker and haven’t heard back yet. Likewise, I know of the unease in Beotown. I want to go there soon to have a look into all of the problems the Blacks have been causing. All of this takes time and attention, and right now, I can only focus on one thing.
One person.
I have to get my head on straight or none of this is going to matter. Someone will see a weakness and strike. Whether it’s an enemy abroad or one of the many people in this castle who wouldn’t mind seeing me dead, it will come, and I might not see the blow before it’s too late.
I think about how I was able to intervene to save Ainslee today. She wouldn’t have been in harm’s way if I hadn’t subjected her to the situation. But she solved the mystery, saved lives, and gave Jerim his confidence back. Was it worth it? I don’t know. Everything in life has risks and opportunities for reward.
If I go through with the plan I am considering, there’s a chance Ainslee could get hurt. But if I don’t, she could also suffer. The only way to prevent that from happening would be to lock her up somewhere. I can’t just give her to her cousin because he has enemies, too.
No, I have a good idea of what needs to be done. I know Axel won’t like it, but this won’t be his kingdom for much longer, so it doesn’t really matter, so long as he doesn’t change his mind and give the throne to someone else.
Everyone knows Kris would love to have it.
And he’d be the worst king in the history of the monarchy.
“Fuck,” I mutter, feeling stuck between a rock and another rock. I decide to look at a few of the documents sitting on my desk and actually start to get some work done somehow, though it’s all busy work.
Then, there’s a knock at my door, which interrupts everything.
Sighing, I say, “Yes?”
The door opens and a messenger walks in with an envelope on a silver tray. It seems late to be getting correspondence, but I take it, thank him, and wait for him to leave to examine the envelope.
When I see the seal, my breath catches in my throat. I swallow hard and tear the envelope open.
Scanning the letter, I get an idea of what it says before I read over it again, more closely this time. I double check the signature and lean back in my chair, not sure how to feel about the contents.
This letter changes everything.
I stare up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to wake the king or wait until the morning.
Knowing what I must do, I rush off to King Axel’s room, letter in hand, ready to face whatever happens next.
Like that crazy bitch Bertha, I’ve made my bed. It’s time to lie in it. I only hope, in the end, I come through it in better shape than she did.
If I don’t find a way to make this work, I won’t be the only one bleeding in the end. I have to keep that in mind because now I’m not just playing this game solo.