SCHOOL DAZE
J: BETWEEN THE AGES OF ELEVEN AND EIGHTEEN—WHEN YOU START JUNIOR HIGH AND YOU GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL—THAT’S A HUGE LEAP OF TIME AND GROWTH. YOUR PERSONALITY CHANGES, YOUR WHOLE VIEW ON LIFE CHANGES. YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT.
G: YOU WERE DEFINITELY SMARTER THAN I WAS. YOUR GRADES WERE BETTER. EVEN TODAY, HE’S AN OVERALL BRIGHTER INDIVIDUAL.
J: Gilinsky probably pulled more girls than I did. But it’s a good contrast. We balance each other out.
G: As we went through high school, we were still our goofy selves, but we definitely matured. And I feel like we fit in where we fit in. There was no trying to be something we weren’t.
J: Definitely. We hung with a group of cool kids, I guess you could say the popular crowd, but they weren’t douchebags. They weren’t the Regina Georges from Mean Girls.
G: Nah, everyone got along. We were lucky our school was that way. Because that’s not often the case. The whole label thing . . . we just avoided it. We were friends with all different types.
THE FACEBOOK FEUD
G: Friends sometimes fight or go their separate ways as they grow up, but honestly, we’ve never gotten into an argument over anything serious.
J: What about the Facebook fight?
G: Oh yeah. There was this one time when Jack posted a photo of a kid who looked like him playing with his yellow lab on Facebook and wrote “this is my dog” and it wasn’t. It wasn’t him, and it wasn’t his dog. I was the only one who knew it, and I wanted Jack to set the record straight.
J: It was a joke, but you were so pissed.
G: I tried to call you out on it, and you were just messing with me. You knew I was stubborn and I would keep arguing it.
J: And arguing . . . and arguing . . .
G: It was more of a joke for you, but I was actually super mad. That was a big deal for twenty-four hours, and then we were like, “Um, what are fighting about? This is stupid.”
J: That’s really it. That’s the only time I can think of that one of us got really pissed off at the other. The rest has been silly small stuff. No fights over girls.
G: No, no. It’s never over girls. Today, if we argue over anything, it’s usually over business and that’s wrapped up pretty quick because I’m always right.
J: Now who’s joking?
G: But in general, we’re pretty spot-on with each other.
J: You complete me, man.
G: Aw, I’m touched.
CAN YOU SAY “AWKWARD”?
J: All through middle school, I was a hot mess.
G: We look at the old photos and we’re like, “Did you guys look in the mirror before you stepped out like that? What are you wearing?” My hair was cut straight across my forehead. What’s going on with that? Why didn’t you tell me?
J: You think I had any clue? On any day, I was wearing like forty different colors. Don’t forget you were bald at one point.
G: I was! I was a hundred percent bald. I made the summer league swim team, and I took a razor and shaved all my hair off. It was awful. I looked like a basketball.
J: I also shaved my head once. My whole soccer team did. We were supporting a teammate who had bone cancer and was going through chemo. But as for awkward, I think most people will tell you that middle school ranks up there. Although in high school, I made out with this girl that I shouldn’t have. That was a tough one to live down.
G: My pants fell down in chemistry class once. I had this jerky teacher, and he called me out on it. He yelled, “Gilinsky, pull your pants up!”
J: In case you didn’t notice.
G: Exactly. Thanks for pointing that out.
J: Wait, what about the time with that girl at the lunch table?
G: Oh yeah. I’m changing that to my most embarrassing moment—though I covered pretty well.
J: You did.
G: My buddy Nate needed a seat, and there was this girl who always tried to sit with us and was really annoying. So I’m like, “Nate, sit here so she doesn’t sit next to me! Help me out!” And I turn around and she is sitting next to me on the other side. I had no idea.
J: She heard it all. You looked at her and said, “Hah! Got you! You should have seen the look on your face!” As if you knew all the time she was right there.
G: Which I didn’t. I think my face turned bright red, and that was the most embarrassing part: the look on my face when I realized what an idiot I was.
J: Yeah, that was pretty memorable. Worse than losing your pants for sure.
AskJacks
DID YOU GUYS EVER GO ALONG WITH THE CROWD—OR HAVE YOU ALWAYS MARCHED TO YOUR OWN DRUMMER?
J: There was probably a point in sophomore year of high school where I was listening to music that wasn’t necessarily my taste, because all the jocks and coolest kids in the school were listening to it. I think it was humoring them more than trying to fit in.
G: Sometimes you do that for your homies. They all want to do something, and it might not be your thing but you do it—and I’m not saying bad stuff like drinking or drugs, I’m saying people wanna go to a party or a movie and you’re not really up for it, but you do it anyway to be social.
J: I think you know who you are. You don’t let people change that. That’s just it at its simplest. You don’t have to protest and be against everything everyone else does for the sake of being contrary. Be true to yourself in the most important ways, and be a team player in the others. I think that’s fair, don’t you?
G: Yeah, totally. Friends are important, and you want to have friends. You can be yourself without being a loner. You can be an individual and still hang with a crowd.
HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH “NERD VANDALS”?
G: “Nerd Vandals” was Jack J’s idea. We would brainstorm every day, and I was kind of iffy on it for a month. He left for camp, and when he came back we sat down and put more effort into it. Then it just clicked and came together.
DO YOU GO AROUND SHARPIEING PEOPLE’S CARS LIKE THE NERD VANDALS?
J: To be honest, there are a few people we would have loved to . . . but no.
G: We Sharpied my car and just for the video.
WHEN WAS “THE MOMENT” YOU REALIZED YOU HAD ARRIVED? WHEN YOU WENT FROM BEING TWO NORMAL KIDS TO STARS?
J: Our first fan meet-up event in November 2013 in Dallas. It was the first time we saw our fans in person—and we saw how many of you there were. We were like, “Whoa!”
G: They picked us up in a limo at the airport. That was pretty dope. Then there were thousands of girls at the event, and a thousand girls who couldn’t even get in the door. When we got back to school, people had seen the videos of fans screaming for us on the internet. Everyone was like, “Okay, this is for real.” And it sunk in for us as well.
DO YOU NEED TO WEAR DISGUISES SO YOU CAN WALK AROUND WITHOUT PEOPLE RECOGNIZING YOU?
G: Ya know, we kind of just walk around normally. We don’t wear any crazy sunglasses or hats . . .
J: Yesterday, I wore a Mexican poncho that a fan gave me. With a bottle of tequila!
G: But that wasn’t a disguise. It was your idea of being fashion forward.
J: True, true.
G: We don’t mind being recognized. It’s pretty cool, actually. Especially because we’re just these two guys from Nebraska.
J: If we’re in a big city, like New York, yeah, fans might stop us on the street and recognize us, ask for a photo or an autograph, and that’s really great. We love it. But if we’re in a smaller town, we can fly under the radar.
G: Just recently, really, it’s getting a little harder to just walk into a store or the airport.
J: Yeah, but no complaints on our end. If you see a dude walkin’ around in a Mexican poncho, it’s me. Come say hi.
HOW TO DRESS LIKE A NERD VANDAL AND OWN IT
1. THE BOW TIE. Polka dot, plaid, paisley. Something with a pattern that clashes with everything else you’re wearing.
2. A PAIR OF GLASSES. Preferably with tape across the bridge of the nose. ’Cause you broke them tripping over your own two feet, and who has time to get new ones? Think what a librarian would wear. No fashionable shades.
3. POCKET PROTECTOR OR FAKE ASTHMA INHALER. The keys to Nerd Vandal accessorizing! Don’t leave home without ’em. A pocket hanky or some Kleenex stuffed in the cuff of your sleeve would also be nerdlike. A nerd is always prepared if something’s “snot” right.
4. SHIRT BUTTONED TO THE TOP. A basic white or blue button-down works, but a crazy, loud plaid is also a nice option—maybe something in a check? If it looks like a tablecloth, you’re in the ballpark. Make sure the sleeves are too long.
5. BELT OR SUSPENDERS. Both. ’Cause a nerd needs to make sure he’s not caught with his pants down, you know?
6. SHORTS WORN HIGH ON THE WAIST. The higher to God, the better. Seriously, if you can yank ’em up to the armpits, you’re lookin’ nerd chic.
7. TALL WHITE SOCKS WITH SANDALS. No logos or Nike swooshes. Just plain white knee socks. You could rock a pair of Vans with them, but sandals and socks are the gold standard.
8. THE HAIR. Combed or uncombed, it just sticks out in all the wrong directions or is shaped into a dome or combed over.
9. THE ’TUDE. It says, “I’m a nerd and I’m proud of it.” A nerd never apologizes. He holds his head up high (almost as high as his IQ). He sees life through his four eyes and knows that he is not alone: the nerds are slated for world domination!