Chapter Eleven

Nick and Jessica went to the high school to share the news about Caleb waking up with Jake and Katie.

“We should do something to celebrate,” Nick said.

“I was thinking we could have a ‘welcome home’ party,” Jess said. “Once Caleb is released from the hospital.”

“I feel like we should do something now, even though Caleb isn’t here,” Katie said. “I know. Let’s go for ice cream.”

“Good idea.” Nick grinned at Jess. “It’s a family tradition—celebrating important occasions with ice cream.”

So they all piled into his SUV and drove over to Walton’s Ice Cream Parlor.

Jess climbed out of the passenger side, hesitated. “Isn’t this the same place we used to come to when we were kids?”

“Yes, it is.”

Jake and Katie were already walking through the door, but Nick didn’t try to hurry Jessica. He knew from experience it would take Katie a while to decide what she wanted. Jake would have a hot fudge sundae with nuts, and Jessica would likely order strawberry.

It was strange that after so much time had passed, he still remembered the little things like her favorite flavor of ice cream. And the bigger things, like the way she trembled when his kissed her neck, and—

He shook off the memories, knowing he was only torturing himself. Jess had made it clear that she had no intention of being easily seduced. So he would go slow, give her time to get used to the idea.

He wasn’t worried. He believed that anything worth having was worth waiting for. And Jess was definitely worth having.

She frowned, and for a moment he wondered if he’d spoken that last thought aloud. He exhaled a silent breath when he realized she was still staring at the sign over the door.

“Did they tear the old building down?” she asked.

“Nope—just renovated it.”

“It had to be a pretty major renovation.”

“It was,” he agreed. “Mason and I did the design.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“It’s fabulous.”

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. The Walton redesign had been one of their first—and still one of their most famous—projects. But it meant a lot to him that Jessica could see and appreciate his work.

“Thanks,” he said. “But the best thing about this place is still the ice cream.”

“Is it still homemade?”

“You bet.”

“My mouth is watering already.”

As he suspected, Katie was still pondering her options when they got inside. Jake went ahead and ordered a hot fudge sundae with nuts, Jess went for a double-scoop strawberry cone, Nick opted for a double-scoop of chocolate chip, and Katie finally decided on a double chocolate brownie sundae.

He and Jess were halfway through their cones when a group of kids from the high school walked in. Jake, being a growing teenage boy, had already finished his and immediately excused himself to go say “hi” to some friends.

Nick recognized Ethan and a couple other guys from the football team, but it was the girls who had come in with them that seemed to have Jake’s attention. Or one girl in particular.

“I’m guessing that’s Lara,” Jess said, following his gaze.

“Good guess.” He noticed that one of the other girls was sticking pretty close to Ethan, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief. Whatever vibes he’d thought he sensed passing between his niece and her brother’s best friend had obviously just been a product of his imagination. He glanced at his nephew again, at the smitten look on his face. “And I’m guessing that Jake is definitely over Becky.”

“A teenage boy’s heart is fickle,” Jess said.

“Not always,” Nick denied.

She shrugged, but her attention was focused on Katie, not him. “Did you want to go?”

Nick frowned at the half-eaten sundae in front of his niece. “She’s not finished with her ice cream.”

Katie squared her shoulders and picked up her spoon.

Jess frowned but resumed nibbling around the edge of her cone, leaving Nick with the distinct impression that he was missing out on something.

Then Ethan wandered away from the group and approached their table. “I heard the good news about Caleb,” he said. “Does this mean he’ll be coming home soon?”

“We don’t know yet,” Nick said. “But hopefully it won’t be too long.”

“Maybe we can arrange a rematch of our basketball game before you go back,” he said, speaking to Jessica this time.

The question jolted Nick back to reality. Somehow, in the space of only a few days, he’d started taking Jessica’s presence for granted. But she was only in Pinehurst temporarily and soon she would be going back to her life in New York City. The realization depressed him.

“Maybe,” Jess finally said to Ethan, her response decidedly noncommittal.

Before Nick had a chance to wonder about it, Jake came over to join them. With him was a girl he introduced as Lara, and Nick noticed that the top of his nephew’s ears turned pink as he made the introductions.

Jake slid into the booth beside Jess, gesturing for Lara to join him.

“Have a seat,” Jake said to Ethan.

Ethan glanced warily at Katie before sliding onto the bench beside her.

They chatted for a few minutes, until Lara said she had to go and Jake jumped up to offer to walk her home. Then Katie started to complain that she had a ton of homework she needed to start on, so Ethan said he’d walk her to the library—which got Nick wondering about those vibes all over again—but he didn’t object. The departure of all the kids meant he and Jess were finally going to be alone again.

And then his ex-wife walked in.

 

Jess saw them first. A man with a square jaw, a military-style haircut, and warm brown eyes. But it was the woman who caught her attention, not just because she was gorgeous, but because there was something vaguely familiar about her. The man’s arm was around her shoulders, and as she tipped her head back to laugh at something he said, he pressed a quick kiss to her mouth.

She felt an uncomfortable pang of envy at the display of easy affection and obvious happiness, but she kept watching them, anyway. They joined the line at the counter, still cuddled close together, and the man splayed his hand over the gentle swell of her belly.

The pang cut sharper and deeper this time. Not envy but emptiness. She swallowed hard and averted her gaze quickly. So she wasn’t prepared for the woman to show up at the table where she sat with Nick.

“Hello, Nick.” Her voice was soft, melodious.

He nodded tersely. “Tina.”

Now Jessica knew why the woman looked familiar—the first time they’d met, the last time she’d seen her, Tina had been married to Nick.

“I heard about Caleb,” she said, her soft blue eyes reflecting genuine concern and compassion. “Is he okay?”

“He’s going to be,” Nick told her. “We got a call from Kristin today.”

Tina nodded. “That’s great news. I wanted to stop by the hospital when I first heard about the accident, but I wasn’t sure if Kristin would be glad to see me.”

“She would have,” he said. “I’ll tell her you were asking about Caleb.”

“Okay.” Still she hesitated, glancing from Nick to Jessica to her husband in line at the counter and back to Nick again.

Jess took the hint. “I’ll…um…just go wash up.”

Tina sent her a quick smile and slid into the newly vacated seat.

Jess took her time lathering her hands with soap and tried not to think about Nick and Tina. She glanced up at the mirror, and nearly cringed at the reflection staring back at her. There were tiny lines around her eyes and dark shadows beneath them. And although she’d put on a touch of eyeliner and lipstick in the morning, after her crying jag at the creek, there was no trace of either.

Not that it mattered. No amount of cosmetics could make her ten years younger or turn her into a gorgeous blue-eyed blonde. It made her wonder how Nick could possibly be attracted to her when he’d once been married to a woman who looked as though she could be a cover model.

“Jessica?”

She saw Tina approaching, forced a smile as she turned off the faucet.

“I wanted to thank you for giving me a minute alone with Nick.”

“No problem.” She reached for a paper towel.

“I think he was blindsided by my pregnancy, and I just wanted to smooth over any awkwardness.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

Tina hesitated a moment before asking, “Did he ever tell you why he and I split up?”

“Before this week, I hadn’t seen Nick in years,” she said, just to set the record straight. “And whatever happened between the two of you is none of my business.”

Unfortunately, Tina didn’t take the hint. “Nick wanted kids from the start. We’d barely said our ‘I dos’ and he was talking about a family. I was the one who wanted to wait.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to have a baby—obviously.” She rubbed a hand over her slightly rounded tummy and smiled. “But that I didn’t want to have a baby with a man who was more committed to the idea of a family than he was to me.”

“He married you.” Jess didn’t know why she felt compelled to point out the fact in Nick’s defense, but did so anyway.

Tina nodded. “But he didn’t love me. Oh, he told me he did, and I think he even believed it. But after three years of trying to make him love me the way I needed to be loved, I finally realized he never would—because I wasn’t you.”

Jess was certain there wasn’t anything she could say or do to alleviate the awkwardness of the moment, so she remained silent.

“He never told me about you,” Tina continued. “Not until I met you at his mom’s funeral, and even then I had to ask some very pointed questions. Then again, I didn’t need to hear his answers. Because the moment I saw him look at you, I knew that he would never be able to look at me or any other woman the same way.”

“Nick and I had a past,” Jess admitted. “But even six years ago, it was a distant past.”

“Maybe distant, but not forgotten. I’m not telling you this to make you uncomfortable,” Tina said. “And I certainly don’t blame you for the breakup of my marriage. I’m telling you because it was seeing the way Nick looked at you that made me realize I wanted the same thing, that I wouldn’t be happy settling for anything less.

“I am happy now,” she added softly. “And I want Nick to be happy, too.”

“I don’t think his happiness is dependent upon me,” Jess said.

Tina frowned. “Maybe not entirely. But he needs someone to help him find balance in his life, someone to make him realize his career isn’t everything.”

Jess wanted to disregard what Tina had said. But even after she’d gone and Nick had taken her back to Kristin and Brian’s house, she couldn’t forget her words. Or the irony of her thinking that Jess could help Nick find some balance in his life when Jess had none in her own. Her career was everything to her. Or it had been, until one phone call had brought her back to Pinehurst and made her question every aspect of her life.

But being back here, away from her work, had reassured her about her career choice. Because she did love her job. Sometimes it was frustrating and demanding, but it was also challenging and rewarding.

Being here had also made her realize, even before her conversation with Tina, that she needed to find a way to round out her life. She needed to take the time to do the things she loved—walk in the park, go to the theater, play basketball. She needed to make time for herself—to meet people who weren’t associates or clients or otherwise connected with Dawson, Murray & Neale.

She’d also realized that she’d never been truly happy after her breakup with Nick. She’d been so hurt by his abandonment, she hadn’t been able to completely open up to anyone else—including her husband. She’d married Steve, but she’d never told him about her past with Nick or the baby they’d lost because she’d refused to let herself be so vulnerable again.

Nick knew her better than anyone else ever had, but there was still something he didn’t know. Something she couldn’t bring herself to tell him because she wasn’t strong enough to open herself up to rejection again.

She sighed. Life was a series of choices and she’d made hers. If she could live her life over again, maybe she would have done some things differently, but ultimately, she’d done what she needed to do.

Now, as much as she wanted to be with Nick, it simply wasn’t possible for them to have a future together. Then again, he hadn’t said anything to her about a future. His only goal was to get her into bed. He knew she was going back to the city in a couple of weeks. So obviously whatever plans he had for the two of them didn’t extend beyond that time period.

If that was the case, why couldn’t she give him what he wanted? What, truthfully, they both wanted?

She knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to share her body with him and not open her heart. She also knew it was already too late to keep an emotional distance.

She’d shared so much with him over the past few days, there was no way she could expect to go back to NewYork unscathed. How could it hurt any more to enter into a physical relationship? As long as she kept it simple and honest, knowing it was only for now and not forever, what was the harm?

 

Nick was debating the merits of frozen lasagna versus Chinese takeout when he heard the doorbell. He closed the door of the freezer and glanced at the clock on the microwave. Eight forty-two. It was a little late for a big meal anyway, he decided as he made his way toward the front of the house. Maybe he’d settle for a bag of microwaved popcorn while he watched the game.

He pulled open the door and found Jessica on the porch.

Jessica in navy tailored slacks that hugged her hips and a silky blouse in a lighter color with at least three buttons undone. From a height advantage of several inches, he could see more than just a hint of cleavage and no evidence of a bra.

His mouth went dry as it occurred to him that he’d much prefer her to either frozen lasagna or Chinese. But why had she come? Didn’t she know how her nearness affected him? How he’d be tempted to kiss her again and feel tortured when she withdrew?

Then she smiled and he noted the sparkle in her eye and the bottle of champagne in her hand, and he thought maybe he could guess why she’d come—if not the reason for her change of heart.

“It’s not ice cream,” she said, holding up the bottle for his inspection. “But I thought it might be appropriate for a more personal celebration. Can I come in?”

He could imagine licking champagne off her naked body, and he stepped back quickly to allow her entry. “I thought you weren’t sure about this. Us.”

“I changed my mind.” She put the bottle of champagne down and moved toward him, sliding her palms up his chest, over his shoulders. “I’m hoping you haven’t?”

His mind went blank. “Haven’t what?”

“Changed your mind.” She pressed her lips to his throat, nipped at his earlobe.

“About…what?”

She traced the curve of his bottom lip with her tongue. “Wanting me in your bed.”

Then she kissed him, a full-out sensual assault of lips and tongue that nearly had him groaning.

“Do you?” She whispered the question against his lips. “Do you still want me, Nick?”

“Yes.” Definitely yes. In capital letters and flashing lights.

His hands slid up her torso, drawing her close, closer.

He found the buttons at the front of her shirt, made quick work of unfastening them. She shivered as his hands slid over her naked flesh, skimming the sides of her breasts.

Definitely no bra.

“Damn, you’re killing me here, Jess.”

His thumbs brushed over the already tight peaks. She responded by pressing her body closer, wriggling against him. He pushed the blouse over her shoulders, down her arms, pinning them behind her back. Then he dipped his head and fastened his mouth over one peaked nipple.

Jessica gasped, then shifted to press her hips against his, rocking against the hard length of his erection. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

Instead, he shifted to a safer distance and tugged her shirt back into place. “We’re not going to do this.”

She blinked, her eyes going from dazed to stunned in half a second. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

“Not like this.”

She turned away and began refastening her buttons. “I thought you wanted me to be impulsive.”

“And I thought you wanted to be practical.”

“That was before you got me all hot and bothered.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Hot and bothered, huh?”

She glared at him.

“You know it’s not that I don’t want you, Jess. It’s that I don’t want to rush into something we’re not ready for.”

“It seemed to me that we were both more than ready.” She tucked her blouse into her slacks.

“I’m more ready than you could possibly imagine.” The painful tightness in his jeans was proof of that fact. “But I’m not convinced you are.”

“I’m not seventeen anymore, Nick.”

“No, you’re not,” he agreed. “But it’s still September twenty-second and I don’t want to take advantage of you when I know how vulnerable you’re feeling.”

“It’ll be the twenty-third in a few more hours.”

How many times did a man have to try to do the right thing before he could be forgiven for succumbing to his own needs? But as much as he wanted to take what Jess was offering, he knew it wasn’t really what either of them wanted. She wanted to lose herself in the mindless pleasure of sex, and he wanted…

He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted, except that he wanted more.

So instead of licking champagne off of her naked body, he turned her fully clothed one back toward the door. “Tomorrow night,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“For what?”

“Dinner.”

She laughed. “Do you have some misguided notion that it’s more gentlemanly to buy a woman dinner before you take off her clothes?”

“Not necessarily,” he denied. “Although it did occur to me that while I’ve had the distinct pleasure of taking off your clothes before, I’ve never bought you dinner.”

“We could order pizza.”

The woman could tempt a saint. And he knew he wasn’t anywhere near to being a saint. But he was determined to resist—to prove to himself that he could, and to show Jessica that sex wasn’t all he wanted from her.

“I think we can do better than pizza.”

Then he kissed her again, tucking his hands inside his pockets to make sure they stayed off her this time.

“Seven o’clock,” he said again.

“I’ll be waiting.” She paused at the door and glanced over her shoulder. “Unless I get a better offer.”