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I wake up to the sounds of yelling. It makes me jerk up in bed and search for the source before I even realize I'm back in Kal's bed. The voices are in the hallway, outside the mostly closed door. I can't understand what either is saying at first, only that they are both angry.
"Hey!" I shout from the bed, still too exhausted from yesterday to get up. My shout gets their attention and Michael bursts in ahead of Kal, who is trying to stop him and failing.
"What were you thinking?" Michael yells at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Does he know about last night, about the blip of imbalance? Would Lucifer have told him knowing what it would do to Kal's already precarious standing with everyone?
"Do you have any idea how worried I was, how everyone has been, about you? When you didn't come back—"
"Because you're obviously in a ton of danger here." Kal says as if he's talking to me, but he glares Michael down.
"She's in danger everywhere!" Michael whips around to glare right back at Kal, then returns the icy stare to me. "You are both lucky Lucifer got to me before I—"
"Why is it such a big deal?" I interrupt.
"Do you really not understand?" He glares at me. "No one knew where you were, you never came home, you could have been..."
"It was my fault." Kal speaks for me. "When she fell asleep, I didn't want to bring her back, she was exhausted, so I put her in bed. She needed to rest."
"I don't care. There were ways for you to let me know." Michael huffs then turns back to me. "You can have the day to do whatever you need to, but you will come back to Heaven tonight. You and I need to talk." He turns back to Kal, still angry. "You will walk her to my office door, understand? Straight there, before it gets dark."
"Understood." Kal doesn't fight him on it. It has to be serious if Kal is going to be allowed into Heaven for the sole purpose of getting me there.
"I will come home." I try to make myself sound as apologetic and sincere as I can. Michael doesn't say anything, he just shakes his head at me and walks out, leaving me reeling and hurt. The moment he's gone, Kal comes to sit next to me, though he doesn't seem affected at all by Michael's outburst.
"He's not really mad at you, he was just worried. He's like that, you—"
"He's never yelled at me before."
"He'll get over it. He loves you. Everyone loves you."
"Everyone." I scoff, rolling my eyes. I pull my knees to my chest and freeze with the sudden realization of a potential source for Michael's ire. "Kal, if I slept in your bed, did we—"
"No, no." Kal laughs. "You were so tired, you could have never told me it was okay. I slept on the couch. Besides, you'd remember if we did. Or do I have to remind you?"
"No, I'm good. You're so humble, by the way." I laugh, too, though the thought does make me nervous.
"Yes, the King of Humble. Isn't that what everyone knows me for?"
"Here I thought you were the king of something else."
"Of astonishing good looks? Superior moral compass?"
"One night stands and questionable life choices." I smirk. He raises an eyebrow at me.
"It's kind of cute, you really still think you can say whatever you want to me, don't you?"
"You're not stopping me." I shrug. "I think I could say anything I wanted—" He cuts me off with his lips on mine. This isn't like our usual stolen moments, this is a little rough, a little heated. He stops and holds my face in his hands so I can't move, though I breathe heavily.
"Still have something to say?" His face is only inches from mine. I can hear the smirk and sass in his voice.
"You're the King of Interruptions."
"That..." He leaves a gentle kiss on my lips. "Makes you..." He continues, his lips traveling to my jaw as his hand finds the back of my head and he grabs my hair. "The princess..." He moves to my neck, biting only once to bring a gasp from me before returning to meet my eyes. "Of frustrations."
"I made you a king, why am I still a princess?" I'm completely breathless. He knows what he does to me, he revels in it, but does he know how much it scares me too?
"My dear, you're not a queen yet... but I could make you feel like one." He guides me, gently, to lie on my back. When I show no interest in resisting him, he climbs over me and smiles from his position of power. My heart beats fast and in my throat and ears, so even if I wanted to protest, I'm not sure I could. Maybe my inner conflict reads on my face because he stops.
"You can tell me no." His gentle reminder is comforting. I pause for a second, and then manage to squeak out a little “no.”
He moves to lie next to me, breathing in deeply, but not obviously aggravated.
"Sorry." I turn over and let him pull me close so I can curl up beside him. "I know how I'm being, I just—"
"It's okay." He holds onto me tight. "This is enough for me."
"This? But whenever we're together, you seem... like you want more."
"Of course I do, but if you haven't noticed, I also enjoy spending time with you." He laughs, soft, like his hands around me. "You make me happy... really, honestly happy. That's all I want."
"Aw." I grin. He rolls his eyes. "That's so sweet."
"Don't read anything into it." But he smiles and it feels like there is a novel of unspoken words on his lips. How could I not want to absorb them?
"I'm not reading." I smile to myself and snuggle into a more comfortable position. He adjusts his grip on me accordingly, letting his hand rest on the exposed skin between my skirt and my shirt.
"I don't think I've ever done this with anyone else." He says with his voice sounding far off and lost in thought.
"Done what?"
"Nothing." He pauses. "I've never just... done nothing. Whenever people want to spend time with me, they want something. Not you."
"This isn't nothing to me."
"What is it for you?"
"It's... existing, but together." He just gives a half-laugh in response. "Is that funny?"
"No. I like existing with you. You're so very special, Allie, it's a privilege." A tingle follows his fingers as they travel around my skin. Not in any sort of suggestive way, it's simple idle wandering. It's only him touching me, it's a connection.
"Your skin is so soft." He turns and kisses my forehead.
"You're warm." I am breathless again when he turns his entire body to face me, arms still around me like a shield from the universe.
"You're beautiful." With a finger under my chin, he makes me look up at him.
"You're close."
"Too close?"
"I don't know."
"I'm not trying to fuck you. I'm trying to be close to you" He grins and I blush.
"You're not?"
"I'm not." He kisses me lightly. "But if you're still uncomfortable, I will stop."
"Maybe not yet."
"I don't work with maybe, Allie. You want it or you don't." The dominance in his voice is a little intoxicating. This must be what the beings he has sex with can't stop talking about. The side of him I only got a small taste of, but the side of him that frightens me. The side that can rack my body with pleasure and a need for him that makes me want to cry out.
"What is 'it' if it isn't...?"
"I want to know your boundaries." He kisses me again and grabs my hip, pulling me against him. "Is this too much?"
"No."
"Tell me if I do something you don't like." He takes my nod as his answer and captures me in another kiss. I can feel him pressing against me and let slip an involuntary moan which only encourages him. His hands grab at my skin and hair, which doesn't feel bad at all, until his hand works its way to my chest. I impulsively push not only his hand away, but all of him.
"I'm sorry." I say quickly when neither of us move, my arms still holding him away from me.
"Did I hurt you?" He asks with pain in his voice. "When we had sex, is that why—"
"No, no, it's not—"
"Did someone say something to you? Did I?"
"Kal, it's nothing you did wrong. I need some time." Because how can I tell him that he doesn't just make me nervous, he scares me? How can I explain that when I think about how good it felt, it makes me panic? That I can't separate the Kal that lashed out in anger, the one who sided with Emmanuel, and the one who touches me with kindness and reverence... because they're all the same person? "Besides, you'd have a line out the door, you could always get it from someone else, I'm not—"
"Allie, I don't want anyone else." He is gentle as he brushes my hair away from my face and holds his fingers over where Emmanuel left his mark. Does he know, could he possibly understand, that I can't stop feeling Emmanuel's hands on me? "You make me happy. I want to be the one who makes you happy, too. I'm not looking at anyone but you."
"I am happy." I put my hand over his and press his fingers to my skin. For a second, I'm allowed to feel like I'm not mutilated. For just a second, I can believe what he's saying. "I just need some time."
"I'd wait an eternity for you." He smiles softly, but there's still pain there. "You would tell me if I did something that hurt you, right? If I made you uncomfortable?"
"Of course, I would."
"Okay." He leans in and gives me a small kiss. I return it with passion to reassure him, and myself, that I'm telling him the truth.