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The fallout from my meeting with the Rulers is not something I am looking forward to. It feels like barely any time at all has passed with Kalav and I lounging in the sitting area outside Lucifer's office, talking about anything except what happened, when the front doors finally open. Michael and Lucifer step inside, neither of them looking at all happy.
I spring to my feet, not ready for them to yell at me for losing my control, but ready for it to be over. I feel Kalav standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder, and it helps me knowing I'm not about to get punished alone.
"Are you okay?" Michael asks first, looking directly at me. Taken off guard, I sound quiet when I speak.
"I-I'm fine."
"Good."
"You're not in trouble. You can stop looking at us like you're about to cry." Lucifer sighs. "Gabriel is the one who screwed up."
"Although"—Michael side-eyes Lucifer—"we can't say we approve of your outburst. You know better."
"That being said..." Lucifer smiles, and it's a genuine smile, which is scarier to me than him yelling at me. "I'm quite glad you didn't punch him because it means we got to see Selaphiel do it."
"Sel punched Gabriel?" Kalav laughs in disbelief, and even Michael can't hide his own grin.
"He cares quite a lot about you." Lucifer can't keep the amusement out of his voice. "Rest assured, Allie, you made your point in there. You have a majority of support. Despite being an annoying little shit, you're an endearing one."
"A little less eloquent than how it was expressed by your peers," Michael suppresses a laugh at my everlasting description. "But, yes."
"Where is Persephone?" I doubt after showing up like that, Lucifer would just let her walk off alone. He does shift uncomfortably, but Michael speaks for him.
"She was invited back to Hell with us, but elected to come back with Belial. She was quite interested in his... story." I know Michael means his eyes because I'm also invested in that story.
"About that." Kalav speaks up. "What does he want to talk about with Allie?"
"Heaven knows." Lucifer shrugs. "He's harmless, so don't be concerned."
"Harmless." Kal huffs. "That's not how I remember him."
"People change. Didn't you?" Michael shoots Kal a look that silences him. I don't know anything about Belial except the odd rumor here and there. He fought side by side in the Fall with Lucifer, and he was accomplished before and during the Fall. Aside from that, he's incredibly private.
As if they know we're talking about them, Persephone and Belial step in through the open front doors. Persephone smiles when she sees us, most of all Lucifer, though I don't think that's obvious to Kal and Michael. I can't be sure, but I feel Belial looking directly at me.
"Persephone!" Michael greets her. "We can't thank you enough for your support. Allie is going to need it."
"Of course, anything to help." She says like it's no big deal to align with me in the face of Emmanuel.
"Kalliope?" Belial's voice strikes a chord in me I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. "Ready for our talk?"
"Oh, um, I—"
"Yes." Lucifer watches me carefully. "She's ready. You may use my office." He gestures to the open door, and it's not an offer. It's an order. Despite them saying we were equals and peers, there's still a pecking order, and I'm still at the bottom.
"I'll be right here." Kal says in a hushed voice before he lets me go.
I wait until Belial has passed me and entered Lucifer's office before I go in myself, wishing fruitlessly that someone else would be there with me. The door closes between my friends and me, and I'm left alone with the demon bearing the mark of a traitor. He leans back against Lucifer's desk and I presume is watching me just stand awkwardly, until he finally speaks.
"You remind me of a very young Emmanuel." He says slowly, deliberately. "I'm trying to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"I've been getting that a lot lately."
"I knew him before he became what he is. We were close."
"Is that why you wanted to talk to me?"
"It is. I will not say this publicly, but I also believe your faith in Asmodeus is misplaced." I can't help but sigh at his words, echoes of what everyone else has been saying.
"Kal—Asmodeus—is not dangerous or out to get me."
"But Emmanuel is. Kalliope, tell me, do you know what the mark I have means?"
"It's... it means you were a traitor." But it doesn't sit right in my mouth to say it out loud. It doesn't feel correct.
"Lucifer, Asmodeus... You're close with them. They were traitors, too. They betrayed Heaven and rebelled. They don't have the mark I do. A third of all the angels at the time Fell, yet I'm the only one. So?"
"So... it's not from the Fall." I say slowly. "And Lucifer wouldn't let you back into Hell if you betrayed him." I breathe the words, but I don't like what they mean. I don't like what he's implying. "That leaves Purgatory."
"That leaves Emmanuel. I used to follow him, the same as the prince."
"But Kal—"
"Emmanuel gave me this curse when I refused to kill Ast. He did it to scare Asmodeus into killing her instead. I refused to serve him further, and for that I was cast aside. He made sure everyone would know I was a traitor, even if they didn't know why or to whom."
"Why not tell the truth about it?"
"I'm not going to pretend I don't enjoy the reaction it causes. I am not Asmodeus. I don't crave acceptance. The people who want to know the truth are free to have it."
"What does this have to do with me or Kal?" I watch him watching me. He shakes his head at my question.
"You're being willfully ignorant, so allow me to spell it out for you, Kalliope: I followed Emmanuel with Asmodeus. I refused an order, betraying him. I was forever marked and cast aside, never again called upon or trusted by Emmanuel..."
"Are you saying that Kal is still—"
"I'm saying be careful. Emmanuel's claws can cut deep, as you're aware with your own mark, and he has always had a certain way with Asmodeus. What reassurance do you have that Asmodeus is completely loyal to you?"
"I... just trust him." My voice is quiet, and I can feel a small seed of doubt planted inside my heart.
"Asmodeus is quite devoted to you, that's clear." Belial shrugs. "However, without Emmanuel killing him or marking him a traitor, I'm not willing to say it's impossible he can still be swayed back to service."
"He said he loved me. Could he really... but Emmanuel wants to destroy me."
"What does your gut tell you?" He folds his arms over his chest and watches me. I stare into the voids where his eyes should be, trying to feel what the right answer is.
There is some weight to the accusations from those around us, and Belial doesn't ease any of those concerns. Kal not being marked a traitor surely means something, but maybe all it means is that he hasn't been close enough to Emmanuel to be marked. Kal has thrown himself between Emmanuel and me so many times, and I can't believe that Selaphiel would defend him and urge us together if Kal were a danger to me. I have to believe that all of us are better than our mistakes. I have to believe Kal when he says he loves me.
"I trust Kalav." The words come out of my mouth as easily as breathing. "He would never hurt me, and if you can change, so can he."
"I hope you're right." He shrugs. "I'd love to see the day he completely breaks free from Emmanuel's shadow and deserves to be loved by someone like you."
"He does deserve that." I say without needing to think about it.
"But you don't." He raises an eyebrow at me. "Love him, that is. You said that quite confidently."
"I don't think I do." It hurts me to say it out loud. "But I think I could."