6

Witchcraft With Siblings

I have said that Witchcraft generally (and not just with hereditaries) is what I would term a “family religion.” Coven members invariably grow closer to one another than they are to their regular family members. Within Wiccan rituals, there is frequent mention of the “brothers and sisters of the Craft.” All of this is then doubly true for hereditary covens, in which blood brothers and sisters are also Wiccan brothers and sisters.

Most non-Witch children would give their eyeteeth to have similar-thinking brothers and sisters, so hereditaries are most certainly blessed. It is no wonder that there is far less arguing and sibling rivalry in Wiccan families than in cowan ones. No matter what other differences exist, what contrary directions Witch siblings may go when it comes to hobbies and interests, there is always the one major common ground of the Craft.

Wiccan children as a whole seem far more mature than other children. Because of their connection to nature, they have a greater grasp on life—on its responsibilities and its rewards. They have a greater understanding of the place of birth and death in the life pattern. And they have the grounding of the Wiccan Rede, with its enjoinder to harm none.

For many modern Witches, the sensation of coming home that is found in Wicca is partly due to a personal acceptance of the intuitive process that brought the older heritage back into prominence. For a successful transition, the baseless fears induced by mainstream faiths for the purpose of controlling their members must be discarded, and the individual must be opened up to the power of the Goddess and the God. The deities of Wicca are not the punishing deities of conventional religions. When the Witch talks of a loving God and Goddess, there are no lists of laws, dietary demands, dogmas, worship formats, or even “witness”-type acknowledgements required. There is but one major rule to remember: “what is sent comes back.”

—Ann Moura (Aoumiel), Green Witchcraft—Folk Magic, Fairy Lore and Herb Craft

Peace Signs and Talking Sticks

This is not to say that Witch children never fight or argue! They are only human in this respect. But they have an understanding of the need for harmony and for nonselfish attitudes. There is more occasion to talk out differences than in other families. When one child has a major problem, he or she knows that it can be brought up before the whole family; there will be many concerned minds ready and willing to help find a solution.

A scene repeated in most homes with children, probably more times than could be counted, is of a girl or boy storming into a brother’s or sister’s room and accusing the other of having done something that hurt, brought about embarrassment, or in some way worked negatively on the accuser: borrowing a sweater without permission and then staining it, for example. Giving away a secret, “stealing” a friend, antagonizing someone admired—these are more typical examples.

A good technique used by some Witches is to allow the accuser to rant and rave for a few moments, to get it out of the system, and then to draw a pentagram in the air with the forefinger. This is a sign that the other must stop; the point has been made. The accused may then speak for a period to explain his or her actions. It’s amazing how often this simple exchange will calm the situation to the level where it can be rationally discussed. However, if there can be no immediate resolution, the matter will be taken to the family coven.

When anything of importance is being discussed in the Circle, it can help restore a calm, nonemotional atmosphere by using what the Native Americans call a “talking stick.” In the Craft we use a wand, someone’s athame, or a similar talking stick made especially for this purpose.15 The High Priest or High Priestess passes it to whomever wishes to talk; this person then decides to whom it goes next, so that all may give their point of view. No one may speak unless he or she has the stick in hand. In this way, it is possible to get all views without having several people talking at once, which frequently leads to shouting and unnecessary emotion.

TALKING STICK

For Harmony

A frequent cause of friction among siblings is sharing a room. Many of the problems—never all of them!—can be allayed through following the ancient Chinese art of feng shui (pronounced fung shway), observed by many practicing Wiccans. Much of the art is being aware of unconscious associations. For example, the sharp edge of a desk or table may unconsciously be thought of as a threat. It can be softened by placing a trailing plant there, covering the hard edge and seemingly eliminating the threat. The art can be applied to a bedroom (or even a whole house) to make it much more comfortable and enjoyable, eliminating unconscious problems.

The start of the makeover is what’s known as a bagua (pronounced “bag-WA”) map: a breakdown of the room, or house, into sections with indications of what is governed by each section (see the illustration on page 91).

BAGUA

WIND	FIRE	EARTH
Wealth; Power	Reputation	Partnership; Marriage
THUNDER	The Belly of the Dragon	LAKE
Family;		Creativity; Future;
Health; Strength		Pleasure; Children; Joy
MOUNTAIN	WATER	HEAVEN
Knowledge;	Career;	Support; Trance;
Spirituality	Finding Yourself	Helpful People

Draw a rough sketch of the bedroom—the one being shared—and superimpose the bagua over it. Wherever the door to the room is, place that along the career side so that your door actually falls into the knowledge/spirituality section, the career section, or the helpful people/travel section.

Now consider where the two beds are placed. They should each be placed where, when lying in them, the person has a clear view of the door. If that’s not possible, then hang a mirror for a clear view. (Incidentally, mirrors should be hung high enough that you don’t chop off your head when you look into them.)

Looking from the door, the center of the left wall is your family/health/ strength section. Placing something green there—a color of healing and life—will help bring a truce in any argument. You might also put something green in the partnership corner (far right). In that corner, too, place a photograph of the two siblings together, in some happy moment. If no photo is available, try two candles (one each in their astral colors—see the appendix) or two flowers. If you use flowers, make sure to keep them watered and fresh!

Watch out for clutter, since it inhibits the life force that should flow freely through the room and the house. This clutter should especially be avoided in that partnership corner—no piles of baseball mitts, footballs, sneakers, or books. Don’t keep the laundry hamper there. Keep this corner clean and fresh and the partnership will stay that way also.

Try to avoid having a bed underneath a beam or a sloping section of the ceiling. And if there is a television in the room, or a computer, it is best to keep it in a closed closet when not in use.

A final word on color. As far as possible, avoid primary colors in rooms shared by siblings. In fact, try to avoid them altogether. Softer colors, such as pastels, will be more soothing. The red end of the spectrum will stimulate, while the blue end will soothe.

Creating Bonds

There are many coven projects that can be undertaken by coven and family members, especially brothers and sisters. These can include making a coven Book of Shadows, constructing a special altar or tools, decorating a temple room, writing rituals, making and consecrating talismans (see later chapters on doing this), and many more. But tasks about the home can also be given a Craft flavor to make them more acceptable. For example, the one who has the job of taking out the libations might also be the one who takes out the garbage (or vice versa).

Some hobbies can apply directly to the Craft, and can be shared by siblings, including candle making, incense blending, robe making, wine making or beer brewing, jewelry making, and gardening—perhaps with emphasis on herbs.

Ritual Dramas

A special part of the major Sabbats can be the enacting of a ritual drama. (Actually, there is no reason why this can’t be included in any ritual, Esbat or Sabbat.) If one of you has an idea for a new ritual, everyone will pitch in and contribute to it to help make it a success.

Look to the deity names your coven uses. What is the background? Is it Celtic, Greek, Roman, Teutonic? Whatever the origin, investigate the background, the myths, of the area. The Irish gods and goddesses are colorful—the Dagda, Lug, Balor, Brigit, Danu, Anu, Macha—and all have their stories. Other gods, other cultures, are equally colorful and full of wonderful material for drama.

There are stories of descents into the underworld, of returns, of deaths, births, resurrections. There are battles and conquests, discoveries and partnerships. All are ripe to be made into small plays that can be acted in or near the Circle as part of the coven’s celebration.

The Farrar’s book Eight Sabbats for Witches focuses on the dual personality of the God as Oak King and Holly King. Just this image alone gives material for a wide range of presentations.

Siblings can get together on such projects, dividing the labor and having fun with the myths. Costumes can be made and—always a fun and favorite pastime—masks can be made and worn.

Helping one another with rituals is also bonding. Older children can help their younger brothers and sisters when it comes to how to move in the Circle, carrying and handling the athame, entering and leaving the Circle. If yours is a tradition with degrees of advancement, then the older ones, who have already passed through the lower degrees, can help the younger ones prepare for the rites.

And just studying the history of the Craft together, or comparing notes with siblings, can be very beneficial and help create the special bond found in members of a Wiccan family, be it hereditary or simply coven.

Children can be grounded in Wicca very gently. Notice how good the bath feels at the end of the day; make it feel better with herbs. Notice how good it feels to take a deep breath when you watch the sunrise. See how a candle or a crackling fire is hot and bright like the Sun. Aren’t rocks strong like mountains, maybe the northern mountains? Isn’t it cozy and safe under the bedclothes, dark like a cave deep in the Earth? Isn’t it neat that sometimes when you’re thinking about somebody, they call or you get a letter from them?

—Ashleen O’Gaea, The Family Wicca Book