Grace sped like a demon up the dirt trail and to the ranch.
She slammed the car in park and flew out, running and collapsing in her heels.
“Where is he,” she demanded. “Where’s Jake?”
Marv helped her to her feet. “There, there. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Don’t ever say that to me again.”
She moved past him to Madison, who was talking to a deputy sheriff.
“Where is he? Madison, where is he?”
Madison excused herself from the deputy and he crossed the lawn to regroup with the others. It was pushing on five o’clock, and it looked as though the other kids were gone. A helicopter loomed overhead.
“We don’t know,” Madison said. “He—the chopper has yet to see him, so we’re thinking he’s found some shade somewhere.”
“Oh my God,” Grace said. “I can’t lose him. I can’t lose him, Madison.”
Madison pulled her in tight for an embrace, but she pounded her fists on her shoulders. “Where is he? Where is he!”
“Shh, we’ll find him. We’ll find him.” Madison held her tight and felt her fragile body shaking beneath her arms.
“We’re going to get a hold on his ankle bracelet, okay? We’ll find him that way.”
“Something’s wrong,” she said. “You should’ve already found him, with a helicopter and the sheriff’s department. He’s a boy on a black horse, Madison. How hard can he be to find?”
Marv looked away and Madison pulled away from her. Her eyes were clouded with worry.
“Grace,” she said. “We don’t think he wants to be found.”
“You think he’s hiding?”
“Maybe.”
“But why. Why would he do this?”
“We were hoping you might know. He left a note in Draco’s stall. It said I won’t be back.”
“Oh God. Oh God.” Sobs overcame her. The world was closing in around her. Not Jake. Not Jake.
“Grace?” Madison helped her to the patio, where she eased her down in the shade. “You’re bleeding,” she said, touching her leg.
“I don’t care.” She jerked it away from her warm fingers. “All I care about is Jake. How could you let this happen? How?”
Madison shifted and folded her hands together. “I tried to call you today. Earlier, before any of this had happened.”
“Why?”
“To find out what was going on with you and him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Grace, he was really upset. And he said some things that worried me. Like how he was a burden to you and how your home wasn’t his home. That he would soon have no place to stay.”
Grace felt the tears come again. “He said that?”
“Yes. He said you don’t talk to him and that all you do is work.”
“He said he didn’t have a home?”
“Yes.”
She closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have told him. I just shouldn’t have told him.”
“Told him what?”
“That his mother left rehab. We—no one can find her.”
“Oh, no.”
“And that’s not all.” She hesitated, fighting tears. “Gabby left a note. It said I won’t be back.”
Madison breathed in sharply.
“I shouldn’t have told him.”
“Well, he had a right to know.”
“Yes, but now he thinks I don’t want him. He thinks he has no home. He thinks I’m going to get rid of him.” She laughed. “I actually thought he might worry about her coming to find him. Or I thought he might try to find her. Boy, was I wrong. Guess he knows her better than I do. She’s long gone and she’s not coming back.”
“You can’t be sure of that.”
“Yes, I can. I am. We’ll never see her again. Not after this time. She wants to disappear. She knows I have Jake, so now she’s completely free. She’s gone, Madison.”
“Come on,” Madison said, taking her hand. “Come inside.”
“No. I can’t. Not till we find Jake.” She cried. “I love him so much and he doesn’t know that, does he?”
Madison didn’t speak, but she didn’t release her hand either.
“It’s all my fault. He started spending more time with you and I got jealous and I let work take over everything. He—he was trying to tell me this the whole time and I ignored him. I’m so awful.” She collapsed into her hands, feeling like dying. If anything happened to him, she’d never forgive herself.
“You aren’t awful,” Madison said.
“No, please. I wasn’t fishing there. I really have been behaving awfully. Oh God, if anything happens to him…Isn’t there anything we can do? I feel so helpless just sitting here.” She stood and tried to make her way to the deputies.
“They won’t let us, Grace. They want us to stay here.”
“I can’t just sit here!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can’t I take my car out and look?”
“They have men out there on horseback and SUV. Not to mention the chopper. They’ll find him, Grace. I promise.”
But Grace didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t bear to hear it. They might find him, but would he be okay? Or would he have already hurt himself somehow? What if the horse had thrown him again?
She ran for the stables, feeling sick. She hadn’t eaten all day. The trial had ended and they were waiting for the jury, but she honestly didn’t care one way or the other. All she wanted was for Jake to return. And in the meantime, she couldn’t bear to be out there doing nothing. She needed to feel closer to him.
The stable felt warm and smelled of hay and manure. She found her way to the first stall and opened the door. The colt was wary at first but then came to her when she knelt. As she inhaled his skin and felt his breath, she began to cry.
*
“Grace, Grace.” Marv was shaking her shoulder.
“Yes?” She bolted upright along with the colt.
“I’ve got good news.” He smiled. “They found him.”
“What!” She stood. “Is he okay?”
Marv nodded. “He’s going to be fine.”
She jumped in his arms and held him tight. “Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Then she turned and kissed the colt. “Thank you, Colby.”
“Colby?” Marv asked as she ran from the stall.
“That’s his name,” she called back. “He told me.”
Grace tore off her shoes and sprinted out of the stables. “Where is he?” she asked the first man she saw. The man pointed to an SUV pulling up. Grace followed it as it slowed, and when the door opened, she yanked Jake by the arm and pulled him out and hugged him tightly.
“Oh my God. Oh my God,” she cried into his ear. “Oh, honey. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
She couldn’t let go of him. She wanted to hold him safe in her arms forever.
“I love you. I love you so much,” she said, holding his face. “Do you hear me? I love you and I want you with me. I want us to have a home.”
Jake’s face twisted into tears. “I’m sorry, Aunt Grace. I’m so sorry.”
She held him tighter and stroked his hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay now.”
They held each other and cried even as the officer led them toward the ambulance. Grace shook as she continued to half hug him. He looked sunburned and dirty. His hair was mussed and coated in dried sweat and dirt. But he looked alive and strong. His eyes were bright and full of sorrow. She’d never seen him look so beautiful before.
“I love you, Jake,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I love you too.”