GETTING THE MOST FROM OUR LOT IN LIFE

1 CORINTHIANS 7:17-40

NASB

17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that [a]condition in which he was called.

21 Were you called while a slave? [a]Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather [b]do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who [a]by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think then that this is good in view of the [a]present distress, that it is good for a man [b]to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have [a]trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but [a]to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let [a]her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, [a]being under no constraint, but has authority [b]over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband [a]is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

7:20 [a]Lit calling  7:21 [a]Lit Let it not be a care to you  [b]Lit use  7:25 [a]Lit has had mercy shown on him by the Lord to be trustworthy  7:26 [a]Or impending  [b]Lit so to be  7:28 [a]Lit tribulation in the flesh  7:35 [a]Lit for what is seemly  7:36 [a]Lit them  7:37 [a]Lit having no necessity  [b]Lit pertaining to  7:39 [a]Lit falls asleep 

NLT

17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. 18 For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. 19 For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.

20 Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. 21 Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you —but if you get a chance to be free, take it. 22 And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. 23 God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.[*] 24 Each of you, dear brothers and sisters,[*] should remain as you were when God first called you.

25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26 Because of the present crisis,[*] I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.

29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. 31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

36 But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. 37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. 38 So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord.[*] 40 But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.

[7:23] Greek don’t become slaves of people.   [7:24] Greek brothers; also in 7:29.   [7:26] Or the pressures of life.   [7:39] Greek but only in the Lord.  

The disease of discontentment is an overlooked ailment. Yet consider for a moment some of the effects on those infected by its silent yet destructive presence.

Discontentment leads to rash, foolish decisions that we may regret for years. Under its influence, men have abandoned their families, families have abandoned their churches, and churches have abandoned their Lord. It can empty our wallets, drain our bank accounts, and ruin our lines of credit. On top of all that, it can affect our reputations, marking us not as stable people others can count on, but as flighty, flaky, and indecisive. Discontentment is a devastating disorder that robs us of joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, and self-control.

Though Paul primarily was dealing with issues of married and single life in 1 Corinthians 7, the principle of contentment is foundational to questions about whether, when, and whom to marry. So, before Paul refocuses on issues related to the single versus the married life (7:25-40), he steps back to examine the life of contentment (7:17-24). Discontentment with the current circumstances of life is an issue that plagues modern-day men and women as much as it troubled those in the first century, and Paul’s principles here can be applied to more than just the question of singleness versus marriage.

— 7:17-24 —

Having just urged his believing readers to continue to live in marriage with their unbelieving spouses who are willing to stay married (7:12-13, 16), Paul takes a sudden step out of the specific issue of marriage to address a matter that underlies the entire discussion: getting the most out of our lot in life. Paul appeals to a universal principle, one which he shared with all the churches: to remain in the general condition in which a person was called as a Christian (7:17). Because God has called each person from a particular social realm and unique life situation, that person should continue in that same situation. Why? The answer: in order to continue as a light in that particular social sphere (7:16).

Because such a principle could be easily misunderstood and misapplied, Paul immediately offers several concrete examples of the kinds of social and cultural realms he had in mind:

In the midst of these basic instructions, Paul intends that each believer find contentment to remain in whatever condition that person was in when called (7:20, 24). Supporting this principle is both a theological reason and a practical reason.

The theological reason. The gospel of salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ does not prefer one social, economic, ethnic, racial, or cultural category over another. Elsewhere Paul wrote, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). This theological purpose of staying put guarantees that those on the outside will look through the windows into the Christian faith and see a space not occupied by people of the same color, status, and pay grade; but they will see a startlingly diverse community of various races, languages, and classes.

The practical reason. Imagine if everybody who became a Christian decided to take vows of celibacy, poverty, silence, and solitude, forsaking their careers, families, communities, and pastimes. The body of Christ would shrivel up and die as it morphed into a corporate recluse, turning its back on the world and retreating into obscurity. The church’s strategic presence in the nooks and crannies of this world would silently vanish like water vaporizing on a sunny day. Or imagine if all new believers turned their calling as a Christian into a calling to full-time vocational ministry. That may sound like an answer to prayer, but in reality the distorted body of Christ would grow top-heavy and topple as it lost all of its faithful, generous lay people whose honest labor in the secular realm produces an abundance of wealth to support those in ministry. The practical truth is that God has called people from all paygrades, social strata, lifestyles, careers, cultures, and situations in order to create a community of diversity and harmony, not sameness and monotony. As we believers exercise contentment and remain in the circumstances in which we were called, we continue to be salt and light in our own communities. We continue to exercise an influence on our unsaved friends, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances.

Yet we lambs like to wander! Like fielded sheep, we poke our heads past our fenced boundaries to graze in another’s pasture —where the grass seems to taste so much better than ours. But if we were to stop and listen, we would hear others’ chomping as they grazed on our grass, leaving their green fields for ours. You’ve seen it. Stressed-out parents knee-deep in Lego blocks and over their heads in extracurricular activities might look longingly at the wide-open schedules and freewheeling lifestyles of couples without children. At the same time, those same married couples not blessed with kids may look with envy at those with children, hoping and praying with tears that the Lord would bless them with a baby. Just down the street, a single woman, settled into a nine-to-five career of her dreams, might wish she had someone to eat dinner with besides her purring cat. Across the street, a married man may wonder if he made the right choice back when he tied the knot with his new bride, considering where he could have taken his career if it weren’t for all the ongoing marital responsibilities.

Too many look at their life circumstances and see only the negatives. They don’t see the God-glorifying ministry potential inherent in their callings. Paul’s principles of contentment in 1 Corinthians 7 encourage us to look at our own life situations differently. He advises all God’s people on both sides of the fence to defeat discontentment and to get the most out of their lot in life.

— 7:25-35 —

With a final reiteration of the principle of being content with where God has placed us (7:24), Paul applies this principle to the question of whether it is right for single men and women to marry, thus drastically changing their circumstances. Paul’s advice to singles, in a nutshell: “Staying unmarried is desirable but not demanded.” He supports his point with two advantages singles have that married people don’t. Though Paul’s advice concerning singles is not drawn directly from Jesus’ teaching, it was revealed to Paul by the Holy Spirit and is just as authoritative as Christ’s teachings (7:25; 2 Pet. 1:21; 3:15-16).

First, singles will experience less distress and personal difficulty in a hostile world (1 Cor. 7:26-28). Although persecution had been sporadic and localized in Paul’s day, based on Jesus’ teaching (Matt. 23:34) and on reading the signs of the times, the apostle knew that full-blown persecution was just around the corner. In fact, about ten years after Paul wrote this letter, the Roman emperor Nero falsely blamed Christians for setting the imperial capital ablaze. He slaughtered believers of all ages; one rampage followed another, blowing past Rome’s city limits into the rest of the empire like shock waves of a massive explosion. The horrible persecutions left a dreadful wound on the body of Christ that would take decades to heal. In light of this impending doom, Paul knew that those with spouses and children would find themselves tempted to deny the faith, or at least compromise their testimonies, in order to protect their families.

Many of us don’t face these kinds of challenges to the marriage relationship. Most of us, though, deal with other kinds of hardships exacerbated by married life: the loss of a job, the death of a mate or child, the rebellion of teenagers, financial stress, and other daily trials and tribulations associated with family life. Because believers still face the brunt of the world’s hostility toward Christ, Paul’s advice to stay single still applies to some of us today. Watching a mate or child suffer can often feel unbearable. It can drive us to despair.

Those already bound to spouses, either by marriage or legal engagement, should fulfill their commitments, even though they will experience intense hardship (1 Cor. 7:27). But those who are released from either a marriage (by divorce) or engagement (by canceling of a marriage contract) should strongly consider remaining single —at least until the crises Paul expected would pass by.

Because Paul emphasized so strongly the value of staying single, the Corinthians might have begun to think that marriage itself was sinful. Because of that possibility, he clarifies that marrying is not a sin (7:28). Marriage itself is good. In fact, earlier he said it was far preferable than living in a state of burning lust (7:9). The goodness and wholesomeness of marriage, however, doesn’t change the fact that those who marry in, or shortly before, times of social and economic crises brought on by persecution will experience greater hardship.

The same is true even without external persecution. Compared to the single life, the married life is hard. Over approximately fifty years of ministry, I estimate that for every single person who has come to me or my pastoral staff for counseling through challenging situations, we have had twenty-five married couples knocking on our doors. Those of us in ministry fully understand the value of premarital counseling. Truth be told, part of the strategy during this brief window of time prior to the wedding is to help some engaged couples recognize that they are not at all prepared to get married at that time. Why? Because far too many young couples rush passionately into a marriage commitment without fully understanding that the married life is hard.

The large number of divorces today is a telltale sign that marriage provides anything but an idyllic pasture of sweet clover. Yes, healthy marriages can bring love, joy, fulfillment, and excitement, all at a high cost of production. Marriage increases our responsibilities, readjusts our hopes and dreams, and consistently cuts into our “me-time.” Author Mike Mason minces no words as he explains: “Angering, humiliating, melting, chastening, purifying, it touches us where we hurt most, in the place of our lovelessness. Dragging us into lifelong encounters which at times may be full of boredom, tension, unpleasantness or grief, marriage challenges us to abandon everything for the sake of love.”[40]

Second, singles can embrace spiritual matters with fewer secular distractions (7:29-35). Paul begins by reminding his readers that the age in which they live is a temporary arrangement of things: “The time has been shortened” (7:29) and “the form of this world is passing away” (7:31). In other words, during the era between the first and second coming of Christ, people are living as if things will continue unabated forever (2 Pet. 3:4), but informed, mature Christians know better. Because we have insight into God’s plans for this world, we know that the current systems making up the cultures, societies, economies, and systems of our world are temporary (see Luke 20:34-36). Thus, Paul wrote in Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”

When we fully comprehend the temporary and tentative nature of the current age, wise Christians seek to invest time in eternal matters. Those with their time and energy wrapped up in family, leisure, and possessions tend to get drawn into the concerns of this world and can easily lose sight of spiritual priorities. So, with a heavenly-minded worldview, believers may be engaged in —but not enslaved to —marriage, mourning, merrymaking, marketing, and material things (1 Cor. 7:29-31).

Married couples are concerned about cultivating their marriages and satisfying their spouses’ needs and desires, and there is everything right about that. It is a vital part of the marriage obligation. Because of this, Paul points out the obvious fact that those who are unmarried not only have more time and resources to devote to a life of Christian service, but they will also be undistracted by the essential commitments required of married men and women (7:32-35). Yes, married couples should be involved in ministry, but their time and energy are necessarily divided. Those of us who are married and involved in full-time ministry know the kind of tension and strain this can place on marriage and family. It is a balancing act many men and women have trouble carrying out. This is Paul’s thought here. Let’s not misunderstand his intentions. He is not forbidding marriage. He is engaging in premarital counseling, warning his readers of the sobering realities of the married life (7:35).

— 7:36-40 —

In most of our Western cultures, in which men and women “hang out,” date, court, woo, and somehow find their mates through a subjective, unpredictable process, Paul’s advice (7:36-38) doesn’t make a lot of sense. Many marriages in Paul’s day were arranged beforehand, as the parents of young men and women worked out the details of the weddings like contractual agreements, often without the input or even the awareness of their sons or daughters —the ones who were getting married. We need to resist the temptation to pass judgment on such a cultural practice. There are many Christians in other cultures where the tradition of arranged marriages still prevails.

This idea of arranged marriages (or legal betrothal) stands in the background of Paul’s advice (7:36-38); but another issue also needs to be resolved, which can be seen when comparing different translations (such as the NASB and the NLT) of these verses. Some translations understand the man referred to in 7:36-38 as the father of an unmarried daughter; others understand him as a young man betrothed (legally engaged) to a woman. It is not easy to decide which is being addressed here, but I side with those who hold that Paul is addressing a father’s responsibility for his unmarried daughter.[41]

In a culture in which it was the father’s responsibility to plan for the future of his daughter, which included finding a suitable husband and providing an appropriate dowry, his ears might have perked up when he heard Paul’s advice concerning the benefits of singleness. This might have led him to call off betrothals he had already arranged or to volunteer his daughter to a life of singleness that didn’t actually suit her. Paul, however, urges such fathers to honest reflection before making such decisions (7:37). In short, neither singleness nor marriage should be entered into casually or for self-serving reasons.

Finally, Paul shifts attention from the virgins to the widows (7:39-40). His advice is consistent with everything he has been urging throughout this chapter. As long as a wife’s husband lives, the woman is legally bound to him as his wife. Upon his death, however, the marriage bond is severed, and she now has the freedom to marry another believing man (7:39). Yet guided by the Spirit’s wisdom, Paul once again suggests that widows consider devoting their single years to the Lord’s service (7:40).

In all of these circumstances, Paul’s mind is guided by the general principle of contentment. Rather than seeking something else due to envy, discontent, or dissatisfaction, he desires men and women to be patient in their circumstances. They should recognize their top priority is serving the Lord in this temporary world, investing in eternity rather than involving themselves in a series of radical life changes that amount to spinning their wheels in a world going nowhere.

APPLICATION: 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17-40

Thoughts on Single-Mindedness

If you’re single, Paul’s words in this passage are especially addressed to you. While studying them, maybe you have realized that you haven’t spent your time as you should. Maybe you have begun to see that the attention given to your career or finding a mate has been misdirected. If your response to singleness has been unbiblical, riddled with discontent, or driven by envy of someone else’s life circumstances, you can turn it around and make it count for Christ by following three one-word exhortations.

Rejoice! Thank God for your singleness and enjoy it as His best for you at this time in your life. He is in control of your circumstances. If and when He wants them to change, He will bring it about in His own time. Be content with the place God has for you at this stage in your life and make the most of it.

Reorient! Redirect your focus and rechannel your energies. Instead of focusing on the horizontal plane of this temporary world, focus on the vertical —God’s eternal calling. Reorient your priorities and your energy to devote yourself totally to God and His work. When you’re seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness, whatever else you need will be added to you —from contentment in the single life to the right mate at the right time (Matt. 6:33).

Relax! Quit hungering for the grass on the other side of the fence. Stay in your pasture and feed on the many benefits God has for you there. The pasture of singleness can be a place of contentment and even fulfillment if you will rest in Him, wait on Him, and serve Him through trusting obedience.

It is my candid observation that many single Christians aren’t interested in being fully devoted to the Lord. Perhaps that is true because they are following only the drives and desires of their lives, pursuits dictated to them by the prevailing cultural values and not by the priorities of Scripture. But in 1 Corinthians 7 Paul presents a different picture: a single man or woman, old or young, willing and able to be devoted to the Master’s service. Some are called to that undistracted life for a season, others for a lifetime. Has God called you to singleness at this time? If so, rejoice, reorient, and relax —and get the most from your lot in life.