Ruby tingled with anticipation for her long-awaited wedding night. She lay on the unfamiliar bed, her stomach in knots. She'd barely kissed her new husband, James Lucas, and now they were about to seal their marriage union. Not that James was new to Ruby. Their farms bordered each other and they'd grown up running between their humble homes. He was twenty-four, six years older than Ruby, but their town of Hillview in the Oklahoma territory was small and she'd always been intended for James. Before she died, Ruby's mother made a promise with James’s mom that Ruby and James would wed.
But James and Ruby didn't need that promise. They'd been dear acquaintances for many years, but James waited until Ruby's eighteenth birthday to propose. When they were younger, six years didn't seem such a great distance apart, until James began his transformation into a man. Ruby watched in awe as his bony legs and skinny arms filled out with muscles from his days working on his farm. His jaw became more defined and stubble replaced the smooth skin that had once been there.
For a while she was more like his little sister. When had that changed? She couldn't quite remember. He still teased her and joked with her as if she were still the little girl she'd been and not the eighteen-year-old woman she'd become. A giggle hiccuped out of her. She didn't feel like a woman. Her mother died when she was ten and James mother, Sarah, who'd been like a surrogate mom, had moved away years ago, before Ruby was going through the changes every woman goes through.
Ruby still wore dresses fit for a younger girl, the skirt hitting her shin instead of past her ankles and she kept her hair in braids on either side of her head or in one long braid down her back. But tonight she would become well and truly a woman.
Thank goodness her stepmother, Jo, had told her what to expect. It was a little ironic that Jo was the one giving Ruby advice. There was a time a couple of years back when Jo first arrived that Ruby feared Jo had her eyes on James. Jo wasn't what her father had been expecting, a fiery young woman from Manhattan with strong opinions. But Ruby needn't of worried. Jo was fully in love with Ruby's father, Jack.
Now it was Ruby's chance for happiness.
Ruby laid on the bed trying to do what she'd been instructed—relax, let her body guide the way—so she'd enjoy the experience. At that moment all she wanted was to kiss James. The marriage act terrified her. But Jo assured her if she let James lead and let their love speak through the act, Ruby would soon be eager for it.
Through the years, she'd spent many a daydreams thinking of kissing James. During their courtship she yearned for him to sneak kisses behind the barn or while they played their old game of tag in the pasture. But he'd always been a gentleman, scarcely holding her hand.
Even the kiss at the wedding ceremony was no more than perfunctory, to seal the contract. Ruby had hoped his lips would linger but he pulled away before she realized the kiss had begun.
Ruby smoothed her hands over her hair, which she'd taken out of the bun she'd had it in under her hat for the ceremony, instead of her usual braids. She knew it was girlish, but she liked the braids. It was how her mother had taught her to do it before she died.
The quilt was pulled up to Ruby's chin, shy in only her cotton chemise. She'd never been fully undressed in front of a man. James had left her waiting in his room for so long the fear and anticipation had merged into a twisted anxiety and she started to shake. She'd combust if James didn't come back soon. Ruby was scared, but every time she thought of James a warmth pulsed between her legs and when she imagined his tongue in her mouth and on her body, the desire to be one with him grew and she yearned to fill it. She'd even touched herself there once when she'd been daydreaming of James and nearly exploded. It had exhilarated her and terrified her.
Ruby had been in love with James for as long as she could remember. Sure, there weren't many young men available in her small Oklahoma town. Her father's family had only settled there in 1860, fifteen years before Hillview was established as a proper town. But even if there'd been a hundred men, she'd want James. Not only was he as strong as the steeds in his barn—his muscles as lean and well-formed—but he had a fire inside him like a horse who'd only recently been broken.
James was kind and generous with Ruby, they'd been through a lot over the years, and they were each other's confidants. The only time James had really hurt her was when he'd briefly turned his attentions on Jo. But Ruby came to understand James’s interest. Jo had been a new and exciting addition to their small town where nothing new ever happened. And she was beautiful.
Ruby rolled on her belly. What was taking him so long, she wondered. She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders to combat the chill from the December evening and walked down the hallway, checking the kitchen and porch, but James wasn't there. On her way back to his room—their room—she heard a noise outside the back door. When she nudged it open, she saw James leaning against the shed, his back to her. The full moon cast a halo around him.
She shoved her feet in the boots next to the backdoor and stepped outside. The grass was wet and absorbed the sounds of her footfalls as she walked to him. She opened her mouth to call out but heard him moan as if in pain. She hurried her steps but halted when his entire form came into view.
Piece by piece her brain clicked the scene together, like a puzzle. James’s trousers were untied and open at his waist and the bright moonlight reflected off something thick and solid in his hands. His breath came out in quick, white puffs of air. He moved his fingers back and forth with his left hand as his right shoulder rested against the shed for support.
Ruby nearly gasped when she realized it was his member he was stroking. Her hands covered her mouth, afraid he'd catch her there. For a quick moment his hand released his hardness and he licked his palm and then wrapped it around himself again. He groaned loudly and Ruby felt her nipples harden into round pebbles.
The noises coming from him were arousal, she realized. She'd heard of men pleasuring themselves, but it wasn't something ladies spoke of. Perhaps this was how men prepared themselves for the marriage bed, she thought.
With every stroke of his hardness, the heat in Ruby flourished like a bud opening. She wanted James to come to her and touch her, but she was too scared to call out. This wasn't exactly how a young lady should act. Involuntarily Ruby stepped toward him, and a twig snapped under her boot. James spun around, his eyes wide at the site of Ruby, and something fluttered to the ground behind him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice thick.
"I. . .I was looking for you, and—" Ruby's pink tinted cheeks heated crimson and she looked down humiliated.
James rushed past her, tying his trousers back in place.
"Wait!" she called after him as the back door banged against the frame as he hurried into the house. She turned to go after him but something fluttered in the wind by the shed—a square piece of paper. Realizing it was what James had held in his hand, she picked it up.
A shiver raced down her spine as another gust of wind rushed over her shoulders and she pulled her thick shawl tighter. Her eyes took in the image on the paper and she sunk into the splintered walls of the shed, tears instantly filling her eyes, the picture blurring.
"No," she cried softly into her hand.
It was a portrait of Jo.
The realization of what this meant fell like a bag of seed on Ruby's shoulders and she collapsed to the hard ground. James had been out there readying himself for their marriage bed by imagining himself with another woman.
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