Watch out for the
‘park woman strategy’

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

—Oscar Wilde

In the modern day sense of the word, ‘monogamy’ is a word that is talked about frequently but mostly in the negative sense of the word. Not that monogamy is negative but the practice of monogamy seems not that normal for the average couple. I justify this by referring you to statistics of the divorce rate in our first-world countries and if everyone was keeping their snakes in their trousers and the lid on their honeypots then I’m fairly certain the divorce rates would not be as high.

How about being the ‘one’, instead of ‘one of’.

We all know that individuality is what attracts men to women and women to men. Both men and women don’t like dating clones. In saying that, looking at women, young women and now even girls these days, there seems to be a commonality amongst them/you. They all have immaculate, shiny white teeth. (Dis is good ya?) They all have their hair perfectly combed and sprayed, and seemingly just out of the hairdressers. (Dis is good ya?) They all have the same size 36C tits (Dis is good ya?) They all go to the same gym, drink the same skinny coffee, buy the same clothes, purchase the same vibrators, wear the same lipstick and use the same personal trainer to practice their ‘pole dancing’ with. (Dis is good ya?)

No it’s not bloody good, it’s boring. If you had some individuality about you then maybe you wouldn’t be left out in the cold on what blokes call the ‘park woman strategy’. Never heard of it you say?

This is where us low-life bastards get a girl interested and then play her on the love merry-go-round. Get them interested just enough but don’t smother them with kindness the way we are supposed to smother you, rather play you like a cat plays a mouse or an orca plays a seal. If we were sailors in days gone by, it would be similar to having a girl in every port as opposed to getting a port in every girl.

When girls all look the same with the same personality then guys will move on just for the hell of it.

Do you complain about your man not being around enough or missing important dates or events you have wanted him to be involved in? Will he not go out in certain areas, but rather stay at home or just visit your place … and sometimes only late, and obviously leaves early before the sun comes dancing on your pillow the next morning?

If this is the case, then you may be involved in the ‘park women strategy’.

Now you already know if this is the case. Are you talking to your girlfriends about him not being around for you? Are you suspicious? Generally, if your instincts are on fire then you are going to be right. Now, this is not always the case if you have been previously burnt, as your guard is up anyway, and when your guard is up you aren’t being rational — no woman or man ever is.

Just take that as read. When you women have been burnt the same way we get burnt, your guard goes up faster than Clark Kent rising to the challenge when Lois is on heat. You can’t help it and we don’t blame you.

The big issue with the park women strategy is how it makes you feel when you know you can only have part of someone. This results in you working harder to get more of him and it just gets worse for you. A good way to explain this is when you happen to be involved in purchasing an expensive item. The more you string the salesman along the more he wants the sale, as he has invested time and energy into the sale and can’t afford to lose it. It’s similar to keeping your man at bay when it comes to sex. The longer he has to wait the more he sees the need for investing time, energy and hard work into making the relationship sustainable and getting what he wants.

So if you think you may be involved it’s fairly simple to find out — just ask him if he is dating anyone else. Do you have an exclusive arrangement?

If he says no, but you know he is and cannot for the life of you work out how he is doing it, then here are the secrets to knowing the answer. This by the way works not just for boyfriends but also husbands.

Firstly, does he have more than one phone and, if you know about the other phone does he tell you it’s just a back-up or he has one exclusively for work? If either of these exists in his answer, then he is playing up guaranteed.

So if you think you are involved in this age-old strategy then you probably are. There is no point wasting energy catching him out just for the hell of it as you don’t need to waste valuable energy on catching dickheads out. If you are married, this may very well assist you in getting your grubby little hands on a greater piece of the pie when you divide the assets.

On that basis it really can’t hurt you.

So the park women strategy! Yes it’s been around for a while and the movies of old have had us laughing when the strategy was made to look funny, but because it was just a make-believe story no one gets hurt — but that’s make-believe.

In modern life however, when life is so much busier and the decisions we make must be better decisions, being involved in this strategy can leave you tainted, and from all us blokes out there we don’t need you tainted.

Blokes want you intact physically, emotionally and psychologically. We don’t want you messed up by the park woman strategy. Get tough if you are involved and get out.

By now you know blokes are actually looking for someone they can be proud of for the rest of their lives. If you are mentally scarred it is worse than any physical disability you may have been gifted with.

We want you mentally and emotionally stable for good reasons. We have already discussed it when we said you are already physically, mentally and emotionally better than what we are, so that’s what we expect to find when we take off the outer shell, strip you down and see what’s under the hood so to speak. If we are with someone who isn’t emotionally stable, then what is the point of us being involved with you? We want women who are better than us so we can improve on being better than who we are. If you are a train wreck then we will have to help you. However, this is near on impossible as we just aren’t good enough. We can’t even help ourselves for fuck sake. We actually came looking for you to help us get through life … what do you mean there is something wrong with you. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be!

By contrast if you are the one involved in a park man strategy then you know the consequences are simply reversed … you don’t want to be hurting others and you certainly don’t want to be scarring yourself by being such an empty soul that would do this to others.

Mologdomy … please tell me I know how to spell it correctly.

And Lamech took two wives. The name of the one was Adah,
and the name of the other Zillah.

—Genesis 4:19