So, I want to conclude
our little chat

After much thought and prayer, I have come to my own
personal conclusion that we shouldn’t tell people who they
can love or who they can marry.

—Kay Hagan

We eventually had to come to this. I hope you enjoyed it, or, at the very least were able to glean something from it you have found useful and hopefully heart-warming.

There would eventually be a summary of what we chatted about and I have drawn many conclusions throughout the pages. Whilst these are my thoughts, they can never be taken as conclusive. We all think differently and I suppose that’s what makes life fantastically interesting.

If you didn’t have it before, you now have at the very least the silent ammunition in your grasp, ammunition that can be used to build, not destroy. It’s now up to you how you choose to use it. You are the gun and your heart is the trigger, your choice of ammunition can be as big as a bazooka or as light as a flower’s petal. You can choose to use it against us in times of human weakness, but as you now know, this will only backfire; or you can choose to use it wisely so you may be an even greater woman, and your man an even greater man.

If we can all learn lessons from our past, then hopefully our futures will be happier and far more fulfilling.

This book is all about self-help for men and women. You simply help us be better men and we will repay you with our hearts that hopefully will fulfil your emotional and physical needs.

This is also about an apology. For me, I want to apologise to every woman who has been hurt by men. I mean it when I say how sorry I am on behalf of myself and my fellow man … even if some of you are bloody nutcases.

It’s about time the two warring parties of men and women became friends again, supported each other and helped make each other better people. We can live harmoniously together if we really want to.

I know there will be a lot of men and women out there who can’t apologise to each other, as the hurt may be far too great for them to come to grips with. It may also be far too terrible for some men just to apologise, as they may be unable to apologise because of the shame they may harbour. I have seen so much hurt in women I have known over the years. As their friend I cannot help, even with the sadness in their faces and the despair in their voices, no one can seem to help. It is devastating to see. When they are your close friends it tugs far worse as it seems the pain they feel is passed on to you as their friend.

It’s also evident that you, as women, will not apologise to us either, but you should try. By now you understand it’s hard for us simple men to get over the pain as well. But there is more pain — there is the pain of never being made by the Creator to be humans as well assembled as you women. You have so much more than us in your own self.

Men, well, we have been trained to put up with our pain and just get on with it. Well guess what, we hurt as well and so much more than any woman could ever grasp because we lack so much in our emotional strength. It’s a pity there isn’t a school subject for boys, ‘Emotions 101’, subtitled, ‘Leave jock straps at home and bring a box of tissues’.

If at this point you have a wry smile in the corner of your mouth then I hope one day someone knocks it off your face. Then again, I shouldn’t need to worry, as it’s you who will be the unhappy, unforgiving one, who will never get anything back, because you never put anything in. You have to give to get something back — no one can be just a taker.

I truly hope we all work it out. I truly hope we all find true love and I truly hope we all stop lying to ourselves and each other.

Our family and our friends need us, our past loves and lovers need us, our future loves will demand it. We can only heal through forgiveness and giving, whether it’s a kiss on the cheek or a word from the wise, or a hug from an unknown corner.

By the way if love is not around the corner for you in a companion, then it’s around the corner for you in your friends. Never give a friend up.

If only that could be true, because it seems we have been doing this to our best friends since the dawn of time. Yes, we’ve been giving our best friends up forever and a day. We’ve caused them pain, we’ve caused them hurt and we’ve caused them to suffer, and yet these were the ones we loved more than anyone else and who obviously loved us even more.

Why do we human beings, the highest order of life on this planet, hurt someone we love or have loved — it just doesn’t make sense.

We must all need help. Let’s all try and find love again — in everything.

xxoo

Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me,
I may not lead. Walk beside me, and be my friend.

—Anonymous

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

—John Wooden