Wayne A. Mack
Change does not occur by chance but by choice. Many people talk about wanting to solve their problems and change for the better, but only some are willing to make the commitment necessary to accomplish those things. Proverbs 14:23 says, “In all labor there is profit, / But mere talk leads only to poverty.” Biblical counseling must take people beyond talk to action, and an essential part of that process is inducement.
In biblical counseling the term inducement means to motivate counselees to make biblical decisions conducive to change. This motivation includes the following processes:
1. Help counselees to accept personal responsibility for their desires and motivations, thoughts, attitudes, feelings, words, and actions. Counselees need to stop blaming circumstances and people for their problems; they need to realize that through the resources available in Christ they can change.
2. Bring counselees to the realization that biblical change involves personal choice. People will never change until they decide they want to change. In fact, the reason people fail to change, when God has provided the resources for change, is often because they have decided to remain in a defeated state. When they say “I can’t,” they really mean “I won’t.”
3. Promote a concern about heart sins as well as behavioral sins. Godly, biblical change in behavior must always begin with a change in the heart. God calls us to rend our hearts not merely our garments; to purify our hearts as well as to cleanse our hands; and to honor and seek Him with our hearts not only our lips. He wants us to repent about heart sins (thoughts, attitudes, desires, motives, intentions) and not just be sorry for unbiblical actions or reactions. Nothing less than heart repentance and heart change will please God and produce change that is genuine and lasting.1
4. Secure a commitment from counselees to put off the desires, thoughts, and actions that hinder biblical change and to replace them with ones that promote biblical change. To a great degree, counseling is truly successful only when this goal is achieved.
All that we have discussed in the last five chapters finds its culmination in the goal of encouraging counselees to commit themselves to biblical thoughts and behavior in every area of their lives. In counseling, we may have been faithful in implementing all the previously described principles, yet inducement may still prove difficult. Hopefully, this chapter will serve as a guide for the biblical counselor as he or she seeks to overcome such difficulties and secure a godly commitment from the counselee.
What is the biblical commitment we are seeking from our counselees? A biblical commitment will include at least six factors. These are described below under the acronym A-C-C-E-P-T.
A—Acknowledge personal responsibility for thoughts and actions. Counselees will not be able to change as long as they excuse, blame, rationalize, or defend their sinful behavior. We must help them to understand that regardless of their circumstances, if they are Christians, they can respond biblically through the power of the Holy Spirit.
C—Choose to look at circumstances in the past and present from a biblical point of view. Human wisdom and feelings often hinder people from looking at things the way God wants them to. They need to interpret their circumstances through the lens of Scripture rather than through their own opinions and emotions.
C—Commit to eliminate whatever hinders biblical change. Romans 13:14 says, “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” If a counselee has a problem with lust, that person must commit to destroy seductive materials, to stop watching television programs or movies with sexual content, and to avoid places that encourage temptation. A counselee must be willing to remove any obstruction to biblical change.
E —Exert energy toward the goal. Change is not an automatic overnight occurrence; it is hard work. The counselee will not make progress if there is no willingness to put effort into changing.
P —Persevere in obedience. Some people are ready to quit after two or three weeks if they do not see substantial progress. Therefore, counselees need to be reminded of the truth of Hebrews 10:36: “You have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” Change takes time, so counselees need to know that the counselor will meet with them for at least six or seven weeks before evaluating their progress.
T —Trust God for the strength and resources to change. Paul says in Philippians 2:12–13, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” It is true, people who want to make biblical changes in their lives must work, but they must work trusting in Christ to provide the strength and resources necessary to make those changes. Without Him, living the Christian life and making godly changes is not only difficult, it is impossible. But when we look away from ourselves and trust Him, He enables us to do the impossible. He enables us to put off the old self, which is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to put on the new self, which is being renewed in true righteousness and holiness. As counselees commit themselves to obey Christ completely, they can be confident that the mighty power of God will accomplish His work of change in their lives.2
Sometimes a mere explanation of the essence of biblical commitment is not enough in counseling. If a counselor has reason to doubt a person’s understanding of commitment and dedication to it, it can be helpful to ask that person to write out his or her commitment. Then, if necessary, help the person to modify that commitment according to biblical criteria. The counselor can also use the written commitment as a tool for accountability if the counselee begins to waver. It can serve as a reminder of what was promised to the Lord.
HOW TO MOTIVATE COUNSELEES TOWARD COMMITMENT
Biblical counselors should make use of every legitimate means to motivate counselees to make a decisive commitment to obey the Lord. The Scripture provides much insight into how we can do this in a manner that pleases God.
A man-centered approach. People can be motivated through their control points, the things that are most important to them. They can be manipulated to act a certain way when they believe their satisfaction in strategic areas is guaranteed by those actions. That is why advertisers spend enormous amounts of time and money studying the control points; they want to find out what compels people to buy products. Not surprisingly, commercials are designed to promise the consumer that the product will fulfill his or her desires. Why are scantily clad women used to advertise everything from beer to automobiles? Because sexual fulfillment is a control point for many people. The products and the seductive women basically have no relation to one another, but the latter appeals to a control point and thus increases sales.
The desire for money is another control point for many people. So advertisements for Toyota appealed to that desire by asking the question, “What will you do with all the money you save?” The company sold thousands of cars on the basis of saving money instead of focusing on the virtue of the car itself.
Other people desire acceptance or approval. So businesses make promises like, “If you brush with this toothpaste, girls will come knocking at your door!” or “WARNING—This perfume causes boys to flock around you.”
What is the effect of this type of man-centered motivation? Although it often induces the action desired, the emphasis is on personal satisfaction. Therefore, it encourages people to be concerned primarily with their own desires and with the visible, tangible, earthly things they think will satisfy them. Biblical counselors should never motivate people in a way that encourages this kind of idolatry (see 1 John 2:15–17). Man-centered motivation may induce a particular behavior, but the motives behind that action will be sinful and thus will make even the behavior unacceptable to God.
A God-centered approach. Biblical counselors want to take a God-centered approach in motivating people. Romans 11:36 says, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever.” True change takes place when people make choices primarily for the purpose of bringing glory to God rather than seeking to meet their own needs. The focus of God-centered motivation is primarily on the immaterial not the material, the invisible rather than the visible, the eternal rather than the temporal (Matt. 6:33; 2 Cor. 4:18; Col. 3:1).
Many Scriptures teach us how to apply biblical principles of inducement, but none more clearly and thoroughly than Romans 6:1–14.3 The apostle Paul’s goal in that passage was to bring about a commitment to change in his readers (vv. 1–2). It will be helpful for us to see just how he pursued that goal.
1. Paul motivated his readers through indicative statements about their position in Christ.4 In verses 3–10 he taught that believers are free to change through identification with the Lord Jesus Christ. He said that we have been united with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection; therefore, we have “died to sin” and risen to “live with Him.” Being dead to sin means that sin no longer reigns in our lives; the dominating power of sin has been shattered. Verse 7 says, “He who has died has been freed from sin.” And living with Christ refers to the new power that is available in a new life in Christ. Through this power the believer is able to conquer any temptation or sin of the flesh (see Rom. 8:37).5
Paul understood that in order to change, Christians need to be aware of their position in Christ and the resources available through Him. The tendency is to see oneself as a helpless victim under the powerful control of sin. But as biblical counselors, we can say to Christians (on the authority of God’s Word) that they have the ability to overcome any sinful pattern of thought or behavior. This ability comes only from the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:16) as a result of our union with Christ. It is on that basis alone that we can call for commitment from people to obey God in their thoughts and actions, as Paul did in Romans 6:11–14.
2. Paul motivated his readers through imperative demands to live out their position in Christ. Verse 11 says, “Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” Though we may not feel dead to sin, God said that we are dead to sin, and we must accept that by faith. The Greek word translated “consider” is an accounting term that means “to record something as fact.” Paul commanded his readers to think rightly about themselves and their actions in light of the truth he has taught them about their union with Christ. Then he went beyond thoughts and called for a commitment regarding actions: “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (vv. 12–13).
As John MacArthur said,
The key word is yield, or present (v. 13), which obviously has to do with the will. Because of the incomprehensible truths about his relationship to God that the believer knows with his mind and feels deeply committed to in his heart, he is therefore able to exercise his will successfully against sin and, by God’s power, prevent its reign in his mortal body.
In this present life, sin will always be a powerful force for the Christian to reckon with. But it is no longer master, no longer lord, and it can and must be resisted. Sin is personified by Paul as a dethroned but still powerful monarch who is determined to reign in the believer’s life just as he did before salvation. The apostle’s admonition to believers, therefore, is for them to not let sin reign, because it now has no right to reign. It now has no power to control a believer unless a believer chooses to obey its lusts.6
Paul concluded his call to commitment in verse 14 by reiterating the believer’s position in Christ: “For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace.” He never wants to let his readers forget that only by the grace of God can they keep their commitments to Him.
Chapters 3 and 4 of Exodus contain another helpful example of biblical, God-centered inducement. In this passage, God convinced Moses to commit to something that Moses did not want to do, namely, lead the people of Israel out of Egypt. How did God motivate Moses? Notice that God did not focus on Moses’ control points—fleshly desires or sinful pride—but, rather, on Himself and His own glory.
One way God motivated Moses was through His promises (see 3:8, 12, 17–18). When people understand the character of God—His faithfulness, honesty, and absolute holiness—they discover that His promises are towers of strength in which they can take refuge. I have seen God use His promises in people’s lives as an encouragement when all other counseling efforts seemed futile. We need to explain God’s promises to people and apply those promises in a practical and relevant way.
God also motivated Moses by giving him concrete and attainable goals (see 4:15–17). He told Moses exactly what He wanted him to accomplish; He did not overload Moses with unattainable goals. Often, counselees are not motivated simply because the goals presented to them are unclear or are intimidating. They are not sure what they are being asked to do, and they are not sure whether they can accomplish it.
God also gave Moses specific instructions about how to accomplish those goals (see 3:14–22). Counseling falls short if people do not know how to achieve the things we challenge them to do.
Moses was motivated when God showed him evidences of divine power (see 4:1–8). When Moses threw his staff to the ground, God turned it into a snake. When Moses picked it up by the tail, it became a staff again. Then God told Moses to put his hand in his bosom, and it became leprous like snow. Sometimes, counselors must remind people of the mighty power of God. A vision of God’s great power from the Scriptures or personal experience is sometimes all that is needed to motivate a counselee to action.
God also motivated Moses by redirecting his focus (see 4:10–12). Moses used his own inadequacy as an excuse for not doing what he had been called to do, but God redirected his outlook from human inadequacy to divine sufficiency. God affirmed to Moses the divine ability to overcome any human deficiency. When Moses said he could not speak very well, God responded that He was the One who made mouths and He was able to empower them.
Moses was also motivated by a description of God’s character and plan (see 3:15–18). God not only reminded Moses of who He was but also assured Moses of His divine presence and help. In addition, God provided someone to help Moses in his task; He sent Aaron to speak for Moses (4:14–16). After God’s repeated motivational efforts, Moses responded in obedience and committed himself to leading the Exodus from Egypt. Biblical counselors can also make use of effective principles of motivation, emulating (as necessary) God’s persistence in applying them.7
Outlined below are numerous principles of motivation that are found throughout Scripture. Biblical counselors are encouraged to use these principles to help their counselees make scriptural commitments.
a. Share your perception of what is happening in the situation (Gal. 2:11–14; Col. 2:9; 1 John 1:7).
b. Provide biblical information designed to eliminate specific reasons for resistance (Matt. 28:18–20).
c. Remind the counselee who God is (Prov. 8:13; Is. 6:1–8; Heb. 11:24–26).
d. Help counselees reflect on who they are in Christ (Ps. 90:3–6; 100:3; Is. 2:22; 40:12–17; Jer. 10:23).
e. Talk about the love and grace of Christ (2 Cor. 5:14; 8:7–9; 1 John 3:1–4; 4:9–11).
f. Expound the greatness of our resources in Christ (Rom. 8:34; 2 Cor. 9:8; 10:4–5; Eph. 1:3; Phil. 2:1).
g. Share the promises of God (Is. 41:10; Matt. 6:33; 28:20; Heb. 13:5–6; 2 Pet. 1:3–4).
h. Confirm the consequences of obedience (Ps. 1:1–3; 37:5–6; Prov. 3:5–6; Luke 11:28; John 13:17; Gal. 6:7–8; Eph. 6:1–3; 1 Tim. 4:7; James 1:25).
i. Give specific instructions about what the counselee should do and how he or she should do it (Matt. 5:21–26; Phil. 4:6–9).
j. Show the reasonableness of obedience (Is. 1:18; Rom. 12:1).
k. Challenge and exhort counselees to choose to obey (Rom. 6:11–13, 19–20; 1 Tim. 5:21; 6:13–14, 17).
l. Teach counselees about God’s benevolent desires and concerns for them (Ps. 100:4–5; 136; Jer. 29:11; Rom. 8:28; Eph. 2:4).
m. Point out the consequences of disobedience (Prov. 5:22–23; 6:32–33; 7:22–23; 13:15; 16:5, 18; 29:1; Gal. 6:7–8).
n. Express astonishment at resistance (Is. 1:2–9; Gal. 1:6; 3:1).
o. Recall the counselee’s previous interest in obedience (2 Cor. 9:1–2; Gal. 3:1–5; Phil. 1:4–7; 2:12).
p. Show how God is affected by disobedience (Ps. 66:18; Eph. 4:30).
q. Express personal concern and love for the counselee (Phil. 1:3–8; 2:17; 4:1; 1 Thess. 2:8, 19; 3:1).
r. Liken inappropriate actions to those of unsaved people (Luke 6:27–38; 1 Cor. 5:1; Eph. 4:17).
s. Give information about proper values and priorities (Prov. 15:16–17).
t. Demonstrate how resistance may affect others (Prov. 15:25, 27; 19:13; 27:11; 1 Cor. 5:6–7).
u. Warn about the Father’s discipline (1 Cor. 11:27–28; Heb. 12:4–14).
v. Explain the Bible’s teaching about church discipline (Matt. 18:15–17; 1 Cor. 5:1–13; 2 Thess. 3:10–15; Titus 3:9–11).
w. Call attention to that day when the counselee will stand in the presence of God (Matt. 16:26; Rom. 13:11–14; 14:10, 12; Heb. 9:26; 1 John 2:18).
DEALING WITH RESISTANCE TO COMMITMENT
The amount of change a counselee experiences is directly proportional to his or her level of commitment. If the counselor identifies the problem accurately and gives proper biblical instruction, yet sees little or no progress, this often indicates a resistance to commitment. In such cases, biblical counselors must be equipped to recognize and overcome the resistance.
Two kinds of resistance are encountered in the counseling process: overt and covert. The rich young ruler serves as an example of overt resistance. In Mark 10:17–26, Jesus told him to do something and he simply was unwilling to do it. Sometimes I have asked people to commit themselves to their marriage, and they have refused. Others have been openly unwilling to forgive someone. This type of overt resistance is painfully obvious.
The most frequent kind of resistance, however, is covert resistance in which the counselee gives outward assent to commitment but is not willing to follow through with it. The story told by Jesus in Matthew 21:28–30 illustrates this kind of resistance:
“But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, ‘Son, go work today in the vineyard.’ And he answered and said, ‘I will, sir’; and he did not go. And he came to the second and said the same thing. But he answered and said, ‘I will not’; yet he afterward regretted it and went. Which of the two did the will of his father?”
The disciples answered, “The latter,” and Jesus told them they were right. The first son, unfortunately, typifies many counselees. Initially they seem excited about solving their problems biblically, but eventually they prove resistant to the commitment necessary to change. The following symptoms of covert resistance will help the counselor identify when a counselee is not willing to make a commitment.
Absenteeism. A person who frequently cancels appointments, particularly for questionable reasons, may be avoiding confrontation. If this is a repeated pattern, the counselee may be unwilling to change. Chronic tardiness can also be a sign that the counselee is avoiding pertinent issues.
Failure to do homework. A second symptom of covert resistance is failure to complete homework assignments. A pattern of incomplete or sloppy homework may indicate that the counselee prefers talking to working.
Distancing. In instances of distancing, the counselee keeps the counselor at arm’s length. When asked about his or her life, the counselee is unwilling to reveal detailed information. This reticence may indicate a lack of desire to change. Unfortunately, counselors cannot help people who shut them out of their lives.
Threats. Some counselees make threats. In subtle ways they communicate, “If you are not careful, I will not come back.” They may even make physical threats. For instance, a man once told me, “There is no telling what I might do if I get angry.” When he proceeded to tell me some of the things anyway, it was obvious he was warning me to be careful in dealing with him.
Intimidation. Some counselees may become antagonistic, others withdrawn, or even tearful when the counselor addresses a particular issue. In these instances it can be tempting to avoid discussing those areas, since it can be difficult to confront the emotions or behavior of the counselee.8 However, the reason for the counselee’s sensitivity needs to be discovered so the counselor will not be intimidated and drawn off track by emotional reactions.
Manipulation. There are various ways counselees may attempt to manipulate a counselor. They may cry, or they may flatter the counselor. Whatever the tactic used, these are attempts to sidetrack the discussion. If the counselor’s pride is susceptible to this type of manipulation, the sessions can turn into a buddy-buddy time where no profitable counseling takes place.
Stories designed only to elicit sympathy, irrelevant arguments, and repeated descriptions of trivial occurrences are other ways that counselees may try to manipulate the counselor and avoid sensitive issues. This is extremely harmful, because by maneuvering the sessions away from the biblical answers to their problems, they actually multiply their pain. It is important for the biblical counselor to identify and eliminate manipulation, because as long as it dominates the counseling session the counselor will never be able to address the issues that are foundational to change.
When we recognize any of these symptoms of resistance to commitment, we can point them out to our counselees and ask them to explain their resistance in light of the verbal commitments they have made or the desires for change they have expressed. Hopefully, they will realize how they are hindering the Holy Spirit’s work and their resistance to commitment will cease.
In order to overcome resistance it is necessary to understand why the resistance is taking place and to address the foundational issues of the problem. Following are some possible causes of resistance.
An unregenerate heart. In Acts 7:51, Stephen told his accusers, “You men who are stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears are always resisting the Holy Spirit.” The people he addressed were unsaved and therefore could not be motivated to change biblically. As 1 Corinthians 2:14 says, “A natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.” In order to induce commitment from people who are unregenerate, the counselor must become an evangelist, because those persons first need to commit themselves to the Lordship of Christ.
Repeated failure. If a counselee has tried to solve a problem repeatedly, the counselor may have to deal with severe discouragement. The key to overcoming discouragement is providing biblical hope.9 The counselor needs to encourage the person that biblical counseling has something better to offer than the advice they received elsewhere.
Fear. Many times counselees are resistant to commitment because they are afraid. I once worked with a lady whose husband had recently committed adultery. He had also had an affair eleven years earlier. Since he had acknowledged sin and asked for forgiveness after the first affair, the woman had difficulty believing the sincerity of this present acknowledgement of sin and recommitment to faithfulness. Now she wanted a guarantee that he would not do it again. She was afraid to put herself back in the same situation she had experienced earlier. Her real problem was fear, and she needed help from the Scriptures to overcome it.
Pride. Counselees may find it difficult to ask forgiveness from those they have sinned against, an act that requires great humility. This difficulty is heightened if those others have sinned against them as well. Also, those who need to make a public confession may find pride holding them back from this commitment.
Ignorance. Unbiblical ideas about the Christian life can be another reason for resistance. For example, some people believe in complete passivity in the Christian life. They believe they are supposed to “let go and let God.” I once read a pamphlet telling of a woman who claimed that when Satan knocked at her door, she would send Jesus to answer it. Such a concept removes all personal responsibility, and, in essence, makes Jesus responsible for human failures. Paul wrote in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” In that verse the balance of Christian living is evident. Believers cannot have victory apart from Christ’s power; yet victory does not come without effort. In fact, Paul taught that victory comes as a result of diligent effort, but effort exerted only through the strength Christ provides through the Holy Spirit.10
Other people go astray because they misunderstand the relationship between obedience and feelings. They argue that obedience apart from feelings is legalism. Of course, seeking to earn or maintain salvation through human works is legalism, but obedience motivated by Jesus’ love, His sacrificial death, and His gracious forgiveness is simply evangelical obedience. By obeying the Lord in spite of how we feel, we acknowledge that the Lord is more important than our feelings. We need to remember that feelings are the caboose that follows the engine of obedience. If we desire, think, and do what is right regardless of how we feel, our emotions will eventually come into line as a result of our decision to obey.
Though some might object that such obedience is hypocritical, it is not, because hypocrisy is feigned obedience, not obedience without feelings. Jesus condemned the hypocrisy of the Pharisees because they sought the praise of people instead of God (see Matt. 6:1–6, 16–18). Hypocrites have wrong motives behind their actions. In contrast, obeying God in spite of how one feels displays virtuous motives.11
Unbelief. People who doubt the sufficiency and power of the Word of God to effect change in their lives are, in reality, doubting God. They may be unwilling to make a commitment because they are not convinced that God is able to do what He says He will do. That unbelief, if not confronted and dealt with, will cause them to turn their backs on their only hope for change.
Bitterness. Bitterness and resentment may also trigger resistance. Some see bitterness as a means of getting even with others. So they refuse to talk with them, ask their forgiveness, or take other steps toward reconciliation. However, until these individuals are willing to accept God’s providential purpose for what happened (Rom. 8:28) and are ready to forgive those who offended them (Ps. 86:5), the process of biblical change will be hampered.
Improper commitments. Counselees may resist committing themselves to obey God’s Word because they have already committed themselves to sinful patterns or fleshly pursuits and are unwilling to break with them. As Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other” (Matt. 6:24). Charles Spurgeon said about that verse: “This is often misunderstood. Some read it, ‘No man can serve two masters.’ Yes he can; he can serve three or four. The way to read it is this: ‘No man can serve two masters.’ He can serve two, but they cannot both be his master.”12
Other reasons for resisting commitment can include shifting the blame, making excuses, or failing to take sin seriously. As biblical counselors, we need to identify the causes of resistance and deal with them before we can expect to secure a biblical commitment from our counselees.
MOTIVATION THROUGH CHURCH DISCIPLINE
What if we apply all of the principles discussed above and still are not able to induce a counselee to change? One more biblical method of motivation remains for people who continue to resist change over an extended period of time and who prove unwilling to make the commitments required of them by Scripture. Matthew 18:15–18 teaches that method by providing guidelines for formal church discipline:
“If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. Truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
The biblical counselor may initially become involved at either the first or second step of that process.13 If those steps are carried out and yet they fail to effect change, then the counselor must see that the remainder of Jesus’ commands are obeyed as well.
When a counselee continues to sin after repeated confrontation, Jesus admonished us to “tell it to the church.”14 At this point the individual is to be publicly rebuked, as 2 Thessalonians 3:14 and 1 Timothy 5:20 affirm. The local church body should be exhorted to withhold fellowship from that person and to call him or her to repentance. In speaking about the sinning person Paul said, “Do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish [or warn] him as a brother” (2 Thess. 3:15). The goal of discipline is not to punish but to promote restoration and reconciliation. And in some cases, church discipline is absolutely necessary in order for this to happen. The Puritan pastor Richard Baxter wrote,
In the case of public offenses, and even of those of a more private nature, when the offender remains impenitent, he must be reproved before all, and again invited to repentance. This is not the less of our duty, because we have made so little conscience of the practice of it. It is not only Christ’s command to tell the church, but Paul’s to ‘rebuke before all;’ and the Church did constantly practice it, till selfishness and formality caused them to be remiss in this and other duties. There is no room, to doubt whether this be our duty, and as little is there any ground to doubt whether we have been unfaithful as to the performance of it. Many of us, who would be ashamed to omit preaching or praying half so much, have little considered what we are doing, while living in the willful neglect of this duty, and other parts of discipline, so long as we have done. We little think how we have drawn the guilt of swearing, and drunkenness, and fornication, and other crimes upon our own heads, by neglecting to use the means which God has appointed for the cure of them.15
The final step of the process of church discipline is to treat individuals who continue to resist as unbelievers, since they evidence a lack of submission to the lordship of Christ. Although we cannot judge their hearts, we can judge their fruit. And the church must act on that judgment to preserve the purity of the body of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 5—6). This final step does not happen overnight; the process may take months to be carried out fully and correctly. But if repeated attempts to secure a godly commitment fail, there remains no option but to put the sinning person out of the church. Yet even at this point in the process, the goal should still be repentance and restoration (1 Cor. 5:5; 1 Tim. 1:20). This “delivering to Satan” (that is, removing the sinner from the fellowship and protection of the church and placing that person in Satan’s realm) is simply the best way to help people who continue to reject counsel and resist biblical commitment. Richard Baxter also wrote,
Much prudence, I confess, is to be exercised in such proceedings, lest we do more hurt than good; but it must be such Christian prudence as ordereth duties, and suiteth them to their ends, not such carnal prudence as shall enervate or exclude them. In performing this duty, we should deal humbly, even when we deal most sharply, and make it appear that it is not from any ill will, nor any lordly disposition, nor from revenge for any injury, but a necessary duty which we cannot conscientiously neglect.16
Some might see the process Jesus taught in Matthew 18 as cruel and unloving, but in reality it is an act of kindness. God blesses those who obey His Word (James 1:25), so we need to use whatever means God has provided to help people experience that blessing. And church discipline is one of God’s methods for motivating people to change.
The goal of biblical counseling is to help counselees become more like Jesus Christ, a process that necessarily involves commitment. Each counselee must decide to take definitive steps to “walk as He walked” (1 John 2:6). Some of them will say that they want to change and grow, but may not be sure they want to make the necessary commitment. These individuals are at an important crossroads, and through the grace of God and the biblical principles discussed in this chapter we must try to induce them to follow the Lord.