COLE
∞ Now ∞
Em is everywhere as they crash through the doors. She fills his senses, surrounding him. Her hair falls soft over his arms and he happily tangles his hands in it. Finally. Finally, he thinks as Em slips his jacket over his arms and off of him. She's here with him. And he actually believes that she's not going to run this time. That she wants to be here. With him and no one else. He's not just a stand-in for a warm body or a way to escape. It's about him this time. Both of them.
"You look—" Unable to resist, he breaks off his sentence and sucks at her collarbone. She arches in his arms, losing her breath. "—too clothed," he finishes.
His hands hover over the zipper on her dress. Taking his cue, she reaches back to tug it down and he feels like singing as it falls forward to reveal her bra.
It's been too long, he silently addresses her breasts, flicking the clasp open. And too brief. She hisses as the cold air hits the sensitive skin.
"I could say the same for you. Lose the clothes." She catches his earlobe gently between her teeth.
"Jesus," he swears. She grins, pulling back and without any further warning, leaps onto him, wrapping her legs around his torso.
He catches her. Of course he catches her. He's been waiting to do just that for years, but she's never let herself fall before, even knowing he was standing at the bottom of the cliff waiting with a safety net.
They move to the bed and he brushes a long strand of hair over her shoulder.
"Before you ask," she says.
He freezes, flashing back to that night so many years ago. Another dark room. Em in his arms.
"You're not drunk, right?"
"Drunk? Sure, a little."
He freezes and groans. He can't believe he's made this mistake again. They've been drinking. "Right. Of course. We can't do this." He slides slowly, torturously away, hating himself every second.
We can," she says, grabbing his neck and pulling him back in. "I'm not drunk. We're grown-ups now, remember? I'm fully capable of making this decision." Her eyes search his. "What's yours?"
He laughs, letting her pull him back into her warmth.
∞ Em ∞
My hands are cold when I wake up. It's the first thing I'm aware of. Cold, and fisted into sheets I don't recognize. An arm that is most decidedly not mine sprawls across my stomach. A masculine hand curls possessively around my hip.
Cole.
Last night comes back to me in bursts of heat and flash. Strong hands caressing every inch of my body. Gasps and arches. Moans and tangled sheets.
Utter release.
And I'd indulged without reservation. But now, in the weak morning light filtering through the room's curtains, my reservations blaze to the surface.
It isn't that I'm not that last night hadn't been amazing. It had. I have no regrets about it. We should have done that years ago. But it's also something I need a minute alone to think about. Figure out how I feel about it and what it means for me. What my next move is. And to do that, I need to get out of this hotel room and back to my own where I have some space to breathe.
Biting my lip and closing my eyes in a prayer, I slide one bare leg out to toe the downtrodden hotel carpet, but an uncomfortable sensation stops me.
I don't have any underwear on. Where the hell…? Flinging my eyes about the room, I find my black thong laying haphazardly on a chair in the corner. Right. I seem to remember shimmying out of it and flinging it away in a fit of impatience last night.
Now, how to get out of here without waking Cole?
Quick like a cat, that's how. If I'm fast enough, maybe it won't register. Maybe he won't wake up.
One, I count. Two… three! Like Supergirl on speed, I dart out of the bed and hold my breath. Cole's only response is to turn and flop, mumbling onto his other side.
I don't bother to stop a smile from unfurling across my face. He'd always been slow to wake in the morning.
I slip on the thong. Now for the bra… I turn in a useless circle before I spot it on the headboard, over Cole's head.
The universe is testing me.
Somehow, I manage to retrieve it and finish getting dressed without incident. And slowly— ever-so-slowly, I put my purse on my shoulder and tiptoe to the room's door. Almost home free.
Taking a deep breath, I turn the knob.
And the mother-effing door creaks.
For a minute, I'd been stupid enough to think I'd manage to get out of here undetected. The mattress shifts and I freeze, unable to bring myself to flee. I'm still framed in the doorway when Cole's husky, sleep-thickened voice says, "Em?"
Crap. How in the hell is it that he manages to sleep through my bumbling and fumbling around the room, but a freaking door squeak wakes him up? I squeeze my eyes shut. It had all been going so well.
I whirl. "Hey!" And I have to fight back a wince. Even to my ears, my voice rings false. I inch out the door.
"I was just… um… just, you know…" I throw a desperate look into the hall and my eyes catch on a discarded room service tray. Oh lord, thank you for the inspiration. "Going to get some breakfast!" I finish in triumph.
"Okay," Cole draws out. He gets out of the bed slowly, moving as if he's afraid of startling a wild animal.
I avert my eyes at the first glance of his unclad legs, sure I couldn't feel more awkward if I tried. I just need to think, but I'm sure he thinks I'm running again.
"I could eat. If you wait a second…" His eyes scan the floor, clearly searching for his own underwear. "I'll go with you," he says, seizing his boxers to tug them on.
"No!" I exclaim. He stills, eyebrows shooting up as my hand flies forward to stop him. The heavy door slams shut behind me, sealing my escape route. My laugh sounds forced as I grope behind me for the knob again.
"I mean… no, don't be silly." This, I manage a little more naturally, with a slight chuckle. "I'm just going to grab some cereal, maybe hit up a vending machine for a Pop-Tart or something, go check on the bride…"
My fingers close around the metal handle and I give it a turn. Got it. Door open; route cleared. I step backwards out of the room, practically able to taste my escape. I feel only a smidgen of guilt about it. I'll talk to Cole later, but for now, I need to get my head on straight.
I lick lips that are suddenly dry and swallow hard as his eyes narrow on me. He's not buying it. I have to get out of here. "Besides, I've got to shower and make sure I've got the whole maid of honor thing covered. Take care of the hungover bride and all of that. I'll see you later, okay? Okay. Bye!" I waggle my fingers at him and dart out the door as he stares at me, jaw agape.
I rub at last night's smudged eyeliner and mascara as I hurry back to the shelter of my own room.
Thankfully, I don't hear Cole crash into the hallway after me and my key card works on the first try.
I head instantly for the bathroom, turn on the shower, shed my clothing and step beneath the hot water, letting it ease the tension in my muscles while I think.
San Francisco's been my goal since I returned home. And it's just a state away right now. I picture the orange-red cables and towers of the Golden Gate Bridge, a clear route for countless drivers getting from Point A to Point B.
I think that's part of why it's always appealed to me. I mean sure, there's also the obvious reason: it's safer to keep everyone away. Safer to keep half of a country between us. But California… San Francisco. The bridge is iconic. And what it represents to me is obvious.
I haven't had a clear route in years. Not since we lost Dad.
People complicate things. Throw me off-course. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. I miss being able to be there for my mom and Nikki in person. I miss Cole knocking me off-kilter.
There are bridges everywhere. I just have to choose to cross them.
I turn off the water, towel off, and shrug into the hotel-provided robe.
I think… the thing is that I want to stay.
I mean, not here. Not in Vegas. I want to be at home. With Mom. With Nikki. With Cole.
And, finally, with Cole, it's not just him. I want to try for something more, too.
I have to tell him. God, when I think of all of the time I've wasted… What losing Dad should have taught me is that time is precious and not to take any of it for granted. To grab onto the moments I can with the people that I love. Not to run wild in the opposite direction for fear of getting hurt.
A few tears squeeze loose from my eyes and I sniffle, slumping pathetically down onto the bed. Great. I'd never been a pretty crier. My eyes always redden so that, at the very least, I look like I've been smoking pot.
There's a knocking on my door.
Shit. Now? Really?
I rub at my cheeks, trying to rid myself of the evidence. Not bad. Good enough to fool everyone but Cole, Nikki, or my mother. It's probably just housekeeping. I'd forgotten to hang the 'do not disturb' door hanger from the knob. I'll send them on their merry way and go back to Cole's room.
It's time we talk about some things.
I yank the door open, polite smile plastered on.
Of course. It would be Nikki when she's on the short list of people that I don't want to see right now.
She squeals when the door opens, dancing a little in place, but her grin fades when she gets a good look at me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I chirp. I reinforce my smile and she lets me get away with it. For now, anyway. A narrowed look tells me that I'll be in for a serious interrogation whenever we get through whatever she came to tell me. "What's up?"
"I talked to Ron last night. Told him everything I've been worried about. And he had an idea." Her grin springs back, refusing to be contained. "Are you busy?"
Just examining the corners of my soul and not loving what I find. "No. Why?"
"Get dressed. Do your make-up." She grins. "Ron and I are getting married. Tonight."