Danr yawned, stretched and then crawled out from beneath his shelter, relieved that none of the haphazardly arranged branches had collapsed upon him during the night. A thin layer of mist hung over the treetops, chilling the air, coating the branches in dampness and blocking all but the most persistent rays of watery daylight. Just as Erika-Bersa had predicted, the weather had changed again, making it impossible to see beyond the edge of the clearing. It wasn’t a particularly promising start to the morning, but perhaps it was a useful jolt back to reality. Despite his best intentions, his dreams had been altogether too lucid and at least the cold was distracting.
He ran his hands over his face, ruffled his hair and then wandered away towards the river to wash. Leaves rustled behind him and he turned to find Halvar following close at his heels. He smiled at the sight. The wolf’s large, silent presence reminded him in a funny way of Rurik. He wasn’t sure his twin brother would appreciate the comparison, but he found it comforting. And there was that word again: comforting. Since when had being comforted become so important to him?
‘Good morning.’ He held out a hand, letting the wolf nudge its wet nose against his wrist. ‘You know, I always thought Maerr was a damp place, but I’ve never seen mists like these. I feel like I’m walking through clouds.’ He rubbed his hand over the animal’s head and then carried on towards the gorge, yawning a few more times as he descended the slope. ‘Is your mistress still sleeping? Then we’ll bathe first today, shall we?’
The words had barely left his mouth when he saw her. She was standing straight ahead of him in one of the pools below a small waterfall, hip-deep in water and without as much as a shift to cover her nakedness. She was also, he could see, oblivious to his arrival, which still gave him an opportunity to leave...
He stood immobile, ordering himself to retreat and yet apparently unable to do so. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to lift either one of his feet off the ground. His eyes were being similarly disobedient, riveted on her slim figure as she crouched down, dipping her whole body under the water for a few seconds, then stood up and tossed her head from side to side, sending a spray of water all the way through the air to his feet.
He swallowed, assailed by a rush of pure lust as she ran her hands through the long, waist-length tresses, wringing out the droplets and then drawing the bulk of it over one shoulder. Her body was just as lean and angular and spear-like as he’d thought the first time he’d seen her, without as much as a hint of any womanly curve, yet now it struck him as the most erotic, enticing figure he’d ever seen.
Moon’s eye! He hadn’t as much as looked at a woman in three years. There had been opportunities enough, but they’d all left him cold. Whereas now...now he was mesmerised. Why now? Why with this woman? He felt as though all the blood in his body had just rushed straight to his groin.
He was still ordering his legs to move when she looked over her shoulder at him, just a brief glance before she bent over, allowing him a tantalising view of her posterior as she scooped some water into her cupped hands and then scrubbed them over her face.
‘I’m sorry...’ He croaked the words out, though for once he didn’t know what else to say. She twisted slightly towards him as if expecting more, but he seemed utterly incapable of further speech. His throat was dry, his groin was painfully hard and his eyes were transfixed by the drops of water pouring in glistening rivulets down her body, over her breasts and towards the crease between her legs... He finally succeeded in dragging his gaze away, half-expecting her to scream at him for staring, but having noted his arrival she didn’t seem to be paying him much attention at all, as if she didn’t particularly object to his scrutiny either. It was almost too much temptation to bear. He might have preferred it if she’d screamed at him...
‘You’re awake early,’ she said at last, striding out of the water and reaching for a piece of linen hanging from a nearby branch.
‘Yes.’ He shook his head, trying to think of something else to say. Trying to remember any words at all. ‘I thought you were still asleep.’
She shrugged and started to dry herself down with rough, vigorous strokes. Too rough, Danr thought, staring again as he watched the movement of the linen. If she gave it to him, then he could do a much better job. He’d soothe her skin instead of turning it red with scrubbing. He’d use his hands and mouth, too, rubbing and licking the moisture away... The idea almost made him groan aloud. Just when he’d thought he couldn’t get any harder... The urge to touch her was so great that he had to clench his fists to stop himself reaching out to stroke the side of her hip.
‘What is it?’ She looked up suddenly, a small crease between her brows. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘What?’ He jerked his head up quickly. How could he answer that? He was behaving as if he’d never seen a naked woman in his life, like a boy instead of a man with far too many years of experience, while she...well, she was obviously an innocent, even more than he’d suspected. She seemed not to have not the faintest inkling of the effect she was having on him, which was a relief since she’d probably tell him to leave straight away if she did.
‘I was just...looking.’ He winced inwardly. Just looking? They were arguably the most pathetic words he’d ever said to a woman. No attempt at an excuse. Nothing about her beauty or desirability either. Just looking?
Fortunately, she seemed not to find anything strange about them, pulling a tunic over her head—thank the stars!—and then striding towards him.
‘What are you doing?’ He leapt backwards as she lifted a hand towards his injured arm.
‘Checking your wound.’ She gave him a look that suggested he must have taken a blow to the head. ‘The cut should have closed by now.’
‘Oh.’ He let out a shaky breath. ‘Maybe we should do that later. You must be cold.’
‘I don’t think about the temperature. It’s the best way.’
‘Really?’ He was starting to feel desperate, his own temperature soaring so high he felt as though he were standing next to a bonfire. ‘Maybe we should wait a few more days just in case?’
‘No. It’s time now.’
To his dismay, she reached for his arm again, unravelling the bandage and peering at the wound for so long that he wondered if time itself had stopped. His whole body was rigid with tension and his heartbeat was pounding like a drum in his ears, so loudly he was certain she must be able to hear it—which was all right just as long as that was the only thing she noticed and she kept her gaze on the upper part of his body...
‘Much better,’ she said finally, running a finger over the line of the cut in a way that made his breath catch and then hiss sharply between his teeth. The sound of it made her head tip to one side. ‘Are you all right, Danr?’
Danr? He swallowed another moan. Of course she used his name now! The sound of it on her lips was almost enough to undo him.
‘I’m fine.’
‘You don’t look fine.’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Did it hurt when I touched you?’
He almost laughed at the question. It was close to torture, but he could hardly say that. ‘No.’
‘Good. Come with me.’
She took hold of his arm before he could object, leading him towards the pool’s edge. He went, grinding his teeth against a powerful urge to catch her up over his shoulder and carry her off to some soft patch of ground instead. In his current condition it would probably mean wrenching his arm from its socket, but it might still be worth it.
‘You needn’t worry about getting it wet now,’ she murmured, scooping some water up and letting it trickle between her fingers over his injury. ‘Just don’t rub it.’
‘I won’t.’ He wasn’t sure what had happened to his voice. It sounded deeper than he’d ever heard it, more like his brother Brandt’s than his own.
She looked as if she were about to go, then frowned and lifted a hand to his forehead. ‘You look feverish.’
‘I’m not.’ He clutched at her hand and tore it away from his face, feeling as though he’d just been scolded. Suddenly he was more than eager to plunge himself into a pool of frigid cold water.
‘Are you certain?’
‘Very.’ He attempted to let go of her hand and found himself rubbing his thumb over the insides of her fingers instead. The calluses there made him want to caress her even more. Damn it, he wanted to do more than that. He wanted to fall on her like a thirsty man might fall on a barrel of mead. If she touched him just one more time, then she might find out just how much... But he was determined to do the right thing, to hold to his oath. It was the thought of that which helped him to release her.
‘I’ll see you back in the clearing.’ He turned and took a few steps away, tearing his tunic off to distract himself with activity. The feeling of cold air on his skin was a relief, cooling his blood and helping his pulse return to normal. He took a deep breath, waiting for her to leave before removing his trousers, but there was no sound of movement. At last he risked turning his head, only to find their positions reversed. She was the one staring at him now, a swathe of colour across her cheeks and throat.
‘As you wish,’ she said finally, seeming to come back to herself with a jolt before spinning on her heel and walking away.
Sissa glared at her feet as she tripped over a rock on her way back to the roundhouse, almost falling flat on her face. How was that possible? She walked along this path every morning. She knew every rock and pebble and even plant along the way. How was it possible for her to forget and stumble?
It was all his fault, the man, Danr’s. The way he’d stared at her—first when she’d stood dripping wet in the water and then afterwards when she’d been drying—had only reminded her of the evening before and the strange, almost visceral reaction she’d experienced at his touch—a reaction she’d spent half the night convincing herself she’d imagined.
Now just his expression had unsettled her. At first, she’d supposed it was simply surprise at her nakedness, but surely he couldn’t have been that surprised? Or maybe it was because she’d made no attempt to cover herself? But why would she have? Nakedness was only natural. Animals never worried about showing their bodies. It was only people who acted strangely about them, although she had to admit, his presence had made her feel somewhat self-conscious. She wasn’t used to being looked at and even if she had been, Birger had once told her that she had a long face and a skinny body, which was as true now as it had been five years ago. She might have grown taller, but her body had remained as thin as a sapling. Doubtless the Norseman had been thinking the same thing, although his gaze hadn’t seemed critical. On the contrary, there had been a definite warmth behind it—heat, even. The same heat she’d thought she’d seen in his eyes the evening before. She hadn’t known what to think about that, let alone how to react, but the more she’d tried to act naturally, to concentrate on practicalities like inspecting his wound, the stranger his behaviour had become. When she’d touched his arm, his body had gone positively rigid with tension, as if he’d thought she might actually hurt him—as if she’d already been hurting him somehow.
The sight of his chest when he’d started undressing had discomposed her even further. He’d looked even broader and more sculpted than he had when she’d been nursing him, his stomach knotted with muscles that looked solid as a tree trunk—strong and powerful—with a line of hair that drew her eye downwards like an arrow towards... A pulse of excitement coursed through her veins at the memory, almost causing her to stumble again. Enough! she scolded herself. No matter how impressive or powerful he’d looked, there was no reason for her to still be thinking about him, especially when she had far more important things to be doing. She hadn’t been to the edge of the forest since the last new moon and if she left it any longer then the people in the village would start to wonder where she was.
She was pleased to feel a new sense of resolve by the time she reached the roundhouse. She’d go to the edge of the forest today, which meant that she needed to prepare herself for being around people again. First she crouched down by the fire pit, trailing her forefingers through the ashes and then across her cheeks to leave two lines of grey powder. Then she collected a few of the twigs left behind from their game the previous evening and wound them into her still-wet hair, twisting the rest into unruly tendrils. Then she sat back on her haunches, trying to put all thoughts of Danr Sigurdsson out of her mind. It wasn’t easy. Even apart from his chest, after just a few short days in his company she’d become almost used to talking again. For her own safety, however, she needed to put all of that aside and go back to being inscrutable. That was what the villagers expected of her, which meant that she’d have to guard her eyes and her tongue even more than usual. The slightest sign of emotion could damage her position and make her vulnerable again.
She was busy loading her basket with herbs when Danr arrived back in the clearing, his eyes widening at the sight of her tangled hair and smeared cheeks, though he didn’t make any comment, casually draping his linen cloth over the drying cord instead. She didn’t speak to or acknowledge him either, concentrating on her basket, though she could feel his eyes on her lowered head and sense the tension in him, too, as if her silence bothered him. From the sound of it, he was pacing up and down the clearing, moving things that didn’t need moving, obviously struggling with holding his tongue.
‘I’m sorry,’ he burst out at last, dropping down on to his haunches in front of her. ‘I behaved badly. You’ve every right to be furious with me for staring. I was caught by surprise, but it won’t happen again. From now on, I’ll call ahead or whistle to let you know when I’m coming.’
‘You mean some kind of warning?’ She looked up at him, her lips twitching at the idea.
‘Yes.’ He knotted his brows together. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘You don’t need to give a warning. You were talking to yourself on your way there.’
‘Not to myself, to Halvar.’ He looked chagrined and then surprised. ‘Wait, you mean you knew I was there?’
‘Of course.’ Despite her resolve to be inscrutable, she couldn’t stop herself laughing. ‘It’s never hard to find you anywhere. You hardly ever stop talking except to eat or sleep.’
For a moment he looked as if he might be offended, before he smiled, too. ‘My brother Brandt used to threaten to cut my tongue out.’
‘Did that ever stop you?’
‘No. I used to talk even more to rile him. Then Alarr, my second brother, would offer to help him by holding me down. He actually sat on me once while Brandt got his seax out. They thought scaring me might do the trick, but I’m stubborn.’ He shrugged and looked sheepish. ‘So my staring didn’t offend you?’
She picked up a clump of dried sage and held it to her nose, breathing in the aroma. ‘Why would it offend me?’
‘Because you were...’ he waved a hand vaguely in her direction ‘...naked.’
‘And?’
‘And I’m a man and you’re a woman.’
She made a dismissive sound before dropping the sage into her basket. ‘There’s nothing wrong with nakedness. I’m not ashamed of my body.’
‘No, but I shouldn’t have looked—and I definitely shouldn’t have stared. It wasn’t fitting.’
‘Because you’re not my mate?’
‘Ye-es...’ he cleared his throat ‘...I suppose so.’
‘Do you want to be my mate?’ she asked, tipping her head to one side as the thought suddenly occurred to her. It seemed unlikely, but it would explain the heat she’d seen in his eyes... It was an interesting idea, too, though not one she could ever consider. Her life was solitary for a reason.
‘What?’
‘Is that why you stared? Because you want to mate with me?’
‘I don’t... I mean... I wasn’t...’ His answer, whatever it was, sounded more like a series of coughs than actual words.
She waited a few more moments in case anything more coherent was forthcoming and then stood up, hoisting her basket over her arm. ‘I don’t know what you just said, but I don’t want a mate. I told you, I live alone and you sleep outside.’
‘Good. I mean, not good. It’s not that I don’t want to mate with you, but I can’t. It’s hard to expl—’
‘Keep away from the west side of the forest today,’ she interrupted him, surprised to feel a combination of relief and disappointment at his words. ‘There’ll be people there.’
‘Why? Where are you going?’ He pushed himself up off his haunches, his expression shifting to one of concern. ‘The village is west of the forest. Surely you’re not going there?’
‘No.’ She whistled for Tove. ‘Just close to it. The villagers come to me if they’re sick or injured.’
‘But I thought you said you didn’t want anything to do with people?’ His tone turned accusing. ‘You said they couldn’t be trusted. Why help them?’
‘Because Coblaith taught me to be a healer. She gave me a purpose in life so that’s what I do. That’s why I healed you...’ she lifted an eyebrow ‘...even though you’re a warrior. I tend to people and they give me things in exchange.’
‘What kinds of things?’
‘Milk, eggs, cheese. Things I can’t produce for myself.’
‘No.’ He folded his arms. ‘You can’t go.’
‘It’s my decision, not yours.’ She thrust her jaw out. ‘You’re only here because I allow it, Norseman, not the other way around.’
‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘Why? I go every moon cycle.’
‘Because the man I fought with, Joarr, lives there now. He might suspect that you know something about me. He might ask you questions.’
‘I don’t speak. The villagers know that.’
‘He might still be suspicious.’
‘It will look more suspicious if I don’t go.’
His brow clenched. ‘I still can’t let you go alone.’
‘You can and you will. No one tells me where I can and can’t go.’
‘What if you need defending?’
‘Then I have this...’ she reached for her spear ‘...and two wolves. I don’t need a warrior to protect me.’ She started away and then looked back over her shoulder, clicking her tongue for Halvar, who immediately sat down.
‘Go.’ To her irritation, Danr gestured with his hand, urging the big wolf to follow. After a moment’s hesitation, he did, sauntering reluctantly across the clearing to join her.
She narrowed her eyes, resenting both his and the wolf’s behaviour. ‘I’m in charge of my own life and I make my own decisions. Don’t follow me.’