‘From this.’ Sissa set down her pack on the hillside, pointing to the half-collapsed, half-burnt remains of her old village below. She hadn’t answered Danr’s last question, merely leading him to this spot, looking down on to the plateau and beach. He’d told her his story the day before and now she wanted to show him hers—her home, the place where she’d been born and had lived for thirteen years, before she’d fled in horror.
‘This was a village.’ Danr looked at the scene and then back at her.
‘Yes. My village. That was our house over there.’ She gestured towards a dilapidated timber construction as she made her way down among the ruins. She hadn’t visited since the previous spring and, as usual, nature had reclaimed even more of the site in the intervening months. The few remaining buildings were empty shells, held up and almost completely strangled with plants. ‘There used to be a dozen or so families living here. Farmers mostly and a few old warriors, though not enough to fight off the raiders.’
‘Raiders?’ His voice was leaden.
‘Yes.’ She strove to sound matter of fact about it. ‘A group of outlaws by the look of them, though I never knew who they were or where they came from. They just arrived one morning, landing their ships on the beach as if they knew there wasn’t much we could do to stop them. Which was true. There wasn’t. Our menfolk tried to defend us, but it was no use...’ She clamped her lips together for a moment, getting her emotions back under control before continuing. ‘They took the little coin we had and all our food supplies for the winter. We might have given it to them if they’d only threatened us, but they were already mad with drink when they arrived. It was as though they were determined on bloodshed.’
‘Bastards.’ Danr reached down and picked up a small metal object. It looked like the tip of an arrow, the shaft long since rotted away. ‘Did they take any prisoners?’
‘No.’ She had to make a conscious effort to unclench her jaw. ‘Everyone was slain. I only escaped because I was coming back with my mother from the river at the time. We saw what was happening from a distance. Then Tove started barking and a warrior noticed and started to run towards us with his sword raised, like this.’ She swung her arm above her head, the memory of a battle-crazed warrior flashing through her mind with horrifying clarity.
‘What happened?’
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, lowering her arm again slowly. ‘My mother picked up Tove and pushed her into my arms. Then she hugged me and told me to run away and hide.’
‘She didn’t go with you?’
‘No. She picked up some rocks and started to hurl them at the warrior to give me time to get away. It worked. I did what she said and fled up the mountainside. When I looked back, she was already lying on the ground.’ She paused for a moment and swallowed. ‘I watched the rest from the trees. The outlaws stayed for two days, getting more and more drunk on our ale before loading their ships, burning most of the houses and leaving.’
‘Leaving you all alone.’ He clenched his jaw. ‘It must have been terrible, Sissa. To lose your whole family like that...’
‘My parents, yes, but I was their only child, born long after they’d given up hope of having any. I suppose that’s a good thing, that I had no brothers or sisters to mourn, but the whole village had been like a family to me. I mourned everyone.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘So am I.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry for what happened to your family, too. I didn’t express it well yesterday. I couldn’t. It all sounded too familiar.’
‘At least I still have my brothers. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be all alone. How long was it until Coblaith found you?’
‘A few days. At first Tove looked after me.’ She threw an affectionate glance towards the wolf. ‘She kept the other animals at bay and brought me food.’
‘Your mother was wise.’
‘Yes. She wanted me to survive so I did. That’s why I did, for her, not for me.’ She shuddered. ‘After the raiders left all I wanted was to lie down in the dirt at my mother’s side and never get up. Instead, I laid stones over her body and cried. It was all I could do.’
She turned and looked out across the sea to the hills of the mainland beyond. ‘You asked me once if I was lonely. I was then. Coblaith was company of a sort, but we couldn’t talk and then she left, too. There were times when I thought I might go mad. Then the new Norsemen came and built the village where your enemy lives now. I watched them do it and thought about going there. One day I went closer for a look, but the people thought I was a ghost and ran away.’ She gave a tight laugh. ‘Maybe I should have brushed my hair first.’
He didn’t laugh back. ‘Why didn’t you tell them who you were?’
‘I couldn’t.’
‘Couldn’t?’
‘I couldn’t speak. I tried, but it was as though my voice had become trapped inside me. I couldn’t say a word.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I don’t know whether it was because I’d become so used to not speaking or because I had doubts about being there, but that’s when I knew it was too late for me to go back. I knew I could never live among people again. I could never be a part of their world. Then I realised that it was useful for them to be afraid of me. I knew that their fear and the forest would keep me safe.’
‘And you’ve been keeping yourself safe ever since?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘My voice came back after a while, but I didn’t use it very often, only with Tove occasionally. Now nobody comes near me except when they’re sick or injured, then they always hurry away.’ She paused. ‘Everyone except you. You’re the only one who wouldn’t go away, the only person I’ve spoken to properly in five years.’
‘Then I’m honoured...’ he inclined his head slightly ‘...and sorry. For forcing you to speak that day.’
‘You made me so angry, I couldn’t help shouting at you.’
‘I’m good at provoking people.’ He looked regretful. ‘But if I’d known what you’d been through, I would never have done it.’
‘Part of me is glad that you did. It feels good to talk again, just for a while.’
‘But there’s still one thing I don’t understand. How did you end up helping the villagers if they’re so scared of you?’
‘One day about two years ago I came across a man who’d been gored by a stag. The people around him were mending the wound badly so I did it for them. I think they didn’t dare stop me. Then a few days later, someone came to the edge of the forest and hung a necklace from one of the trees. Ever since then, people have been coming to me for help and giving me food and clothing in return. That’s why I go to the edge of the forest every so often.’
‘But maybe you could speak to them now?’ He caught her hand, holding it between his. ‘You could explain all this to them the way you have to me. You don’t need to worry about the same thing happening again. There are more people here now, more warriors to defend the village. You could be safe there.’
‘Nowhere is safe, not really—besides, why should I trust them? I’ve seen what people are capable of. Warriors...’ She looked down at their joined hands, feeling a chill despite the warmth of his skin. ‘The forest is my home. I know how to survive here.’
‘But you can do more than survive. There should be more to life than survival, Sissa. You could go—’
‘No!’ she interrupted him, squeezing his hand until he fell silent. ‘This is who I am and where I belong. If there had been a way for me to find out who those raiders were and get justice for my family, I would have taken it, but there wasn’t. But if there is for you, then I want to help.’
‘What?’ His shoulders stiffened visibly. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean that you might not be able to go to the village and confront your stepmother, but I can. I can show her those pendants and find out the truth.’
Danr held himself very still, shocked into silence by her words, by their surroundings, by all of it. He’d suspected that something terrible had happened in her past, yet the idea of another massacre had never occurred to him. It was so similar to his own story and yet somehow even worse. At least he’d been a grown man in Maerr, but she’d been little more than a child, watching the slaughter of everyone she knew in the world before being left to survive almost completely alone in the wild for five years... And now she was offering to help him—him of all people! As if he were worthy of her help. As if he were the one who’d suffered the most! He wanted to wrap her tight in his arms and then track down every last member of that raiding party and get justice for her, too.
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘Only for you.’ She thrust her jaw out. ‘You said that you didn’t show your stepmother the pendants when you first confronted her, didn’t you?’
‘No. I mentioned them, but I never showed her.’
‘Then let me do it. Maybe I’ll be able to tell something from her reaction.’
‘She knows I’m on the island somewhere. She’ll assume I gave them to you.’
‘Or she’ll think I found them on your body and simply took them. It doesn’t matter. She’ll be frightened enough that I know they’re hers. She’ll think I have some power to see the truth.’ She shrugged. ‘She can ask me whatever she wants; I won’t answer.’
‘She might hold you prisoner until you do tell her.’
‘The people in the village won’t let her. They value my help and they’re frightened of me, remember? They’ll be afraid I might summon a storm in revenge.’
‘There’s still Joarr. He didn’t look very frightened of you yesterday.’
‘No...’ Her face clouded slightly. ‘But he won’t be able to go against the wishes of his kinsman, no matter what he wants to do with me. Trust me, Danr.’
‘It’s not a matter of trust. It’s about your safety. I don’t want you going anywhere near either of them.’
She wrenched her hand away. ‘Why not?’
‘Because this is my task, not yours.’
‘I’m offering to help you.’
‘I don’t want help.’
‘But you need it.’
‘Sissa...’ He took another step towards her. ‘I’m grateful for the offer, but I don’t want you taking any risks, especially for me.’
‘I won’t—’
‘No!’ He spoke in a tone of command. ‘I won’t change my mind about this. You just said that you’re safe in the forest because people leave you alone. Well, if you get tangled up in my mess then they might not leave you alone any more. I won’t ruin your life. You’ve already done enough for me. I don’t deserve any more.’
‘You deserve justice, if you can get it.’ She folded her arms, her expression stubborn. ‘And you need a better plan than holding a sword to your stepmother’s throat and hoping she confesses.’
‘I know.’
‘And you haven’t thought of one...’
‘Not yet.’
‘So you have to admit that my plan is a good one...’
‘That’s not the point. I’ll think of something else.’
‘All right.’ She let out an exasperated-sounding sigh. ‘I won’t go.’
Danr watched as she turned and walked away. She was right, it was a good plan, only there was no way in hell he was going to let her go through with it. He didn’t want any more lives on his conscience, especially not hers. His chest constricted with a painful tightness just at the thought. If anything were to happen to her, he didn’t know what he’d do...
He took a deep breath, trying to control the feeling. A few shafts of evening sunlight had broken through the clouds, bathing the scene in an orange-gold glow. Sissa was just ahead of him, looking so slender and vulnerable, walking amidst the ruins of her former home, yet she’d proven herself stronger and tougher than most warriors he’d known. He doubted many of them could have survived in the wild on their own for so long. Or had the strength of mind to bear it either. He didn’t think he would have been able to. Whereas she... He felt a rush of tenderness. She was independent, indomitable and invincible, with a spine made of finely tempered steel and a pair of grey eyes that seemed to penetrate through to his very core. Looking at her now, she struck him as the most beautiful, desirable woman he’d ever laid eyes on. How could he not have seen that at the start? He desired her in a way he’d never desired anyone before and not just because it had been so long since he’d lain with a woman, but because his heart wanted her, too. Unworthy as he was, he wanted to be with her as much as he wanted to bed her. Because he loved her. He’d never expected to feel the emotion, had always distrusted it, but now that he did, it made him feel clean inside somehow, exhilarated even, as if he could be worthy of her some day. He was in love with her.
And he’d sworn an oath that meant he had to leave as soon as he was able...
He clenched his jaw and shifted his attention to their surroundings. The outline of the half-destroyed village was mostly hidden by brambles and nettles, but the positions of the old houses were still clear if you knew how to look.
‘It’s a good site for a village.’ He came to stand beside Sissa. She was on the edge of the shore, looking out at the waves. The sea and sky were almost the same colour now, a darkening slate-blue. If it hadn’t been for the hills of the mainland in the distance they might both have merged into one.
‘It is...’ she twisted to look at him ‘...but people are afraid to come here. Even the Gaels think it’s haunted.’
He nodded with understanding. He couldn’t blame anyone for that. He’d never felt the same about Maerr after the massacre. ‘Don’t you?’
‘No, but if it were then I don’t believe the ghosts of my family would ever hurt me.’ She heaved a sigh. ‘But I wouldn’t want anyone to build here either.’
‘Over there, then.’ He pointed further along the shore to where the land rose up to a plateau. ‘That would be a good site.’
‘Are you looking for a new home, Norseman?’
He blinked as she turned to look fully at him, her golden hair blowing around her shoulders and glowing copper-red in the fading sunlight. He’d often thought of it as a cloak and now it looked more like one than ever... He held his breath, trying to fix the image in his mind. At that moment he could almost believe that the rest of the world didn’t exist, that there was only the two of them, that Hilda and Joarr held no importance for him, that he had no oath to fulfil, that he was a free man...
Was he looking for a home? The question seemed to echo around his head. He was a man who’d spent most of his life living for the moment, never considering the future, never looking for anything resembling commitment. Then after the massacre he’d never allowed himself to think beyond fulfilling his oath, but what would he do if and when he finally redeemed himself in his brothers’ eyes? Where would he go? To Rurik in Glannoventa? Alarr in Eireann? Sandulf in Strathclyde? None of those ideas sounded very appealing any more. Not compared to a rain-soaked, mist-covered island and the wild-haired woman who lived there.
But she wanted to be on her own, away from people, away from warriors especially. Unless he could persuade her otherwise...and then prove himself worthy.
‘Not yet.’ He felt a new sense of determination. ‘Just a place to camp. It’ll be dark soon.’