‡‡
By the time three o’clock rolled around, Carter was having trouble concentrating on anything except Amanda. She’d been preoccupied at lunch, barely participating in their conversation, and returned to the library directly after the meal was over. He was glad for the excuse Megan’s visit gave him to see her again midafternoon. Lincoln had appointed one of the workers to take charge for an hour so they all could meet with the realtor, but they arranged to hold their brainstorming session in the mill office, so they’d be on hand if there were any problems. Carter had invited Amanda to join them.
She showed up just before Megan arrived, but he didn’t have time to talk to her alone before the meeting started. They all took seats around a rough wooden table that must have been there since before his father was born.
“Thanks for coming back,” he said to Megan when everyone was settled in.
“Of course,” Megan said guardedly. “You said you have some houses that will be ready to list soon?”
“That’s right. There are twenty-nine empty houses in Lucy’s Corner. We’ve divided them up and begun stripping out the old carpet and appliances, painting the walls with primer and so on. They won’t be stunning, but they’ll be ready for people to come in and renovate how they see fit.”
“How long before they’re ready?”
“A few weeks for the first batch, I guess. We’re working on them when we’re not at the mill. Amanda and I are trying to spiff up number twenty-three. If we can get it done, people can tour it and get ideas for their own renovations.”
“How long will that take?”
“A few more weeks? Like I said, we’ve got to keep the mill running.”
“So another month or two at the very least.” Megan didn’t sound pleased.
“But you can start the paperwork, right? That should keep your boss off your back.”
Megan was already shaking her head. “You know, Lainie saw right through you,” she said to Gage. “She might have told you what you wanted to hear when you came in, but afterward she came to me and said I was a fool to have anything to do with you. She thinks you’ll cut a deal directly with Warrington in the end and won’t use an agent at all.”
“That’s not true,” Carter protested.
“You sure about that?” Megan was still looking at Gage.
“We can’t guarantee anything,” Gage said. He considered her. “You’re that desperate for a listing?”
“Lainie’s looking for any excuse to fire me.” Megan slumped back in her chair, her bravado draining out of her. Carter realized the situation must be dire.
Gage nodded slowly. “Guess I’ve got a house you can sell.”
They all stared at him.
“What house?” Carter demanded. Since when did Gage have a house?
“It’s on Randell Street in town. Four bedrooms, two baths.”
“Where’d you get that?” Lincoln asked.
Carter could tell neither Nate nor Hudson knew about it, either. Trust Gage to keep a secret that big.
“Bought it a long time ago, in the fall after I graduated from high school. It was in rough shape. Dirt cheap. I had no idea how bad things were about to get here.” He looked around at them. “What? I worked in the mill for years before things fell apart. Dad paid all of us well back then, remember? I saved everything I earned. What else was I going to do with it?”
He asked the question defiantly.
None of them answered. They knew what he’d meant to do with those savings. Go to college.
Carter wasn’t sure why Gage had turned his back on that plan. He’d graduated two years before the crash. When the time came to start at Montana State, he changed his mind, kept working in the mill full-time—then more than full-time when they began to lose their contracts and workers.
That still didn’t explain why he’d bought a house—in town, rather than on the Ridge—and hadn’t even lived in it. Had he considered it an investment? Elliotts had been buying real estate in the area for over a hundred years, after all.
“I’ve been renting it out ever since, but there’s no reason to keep the house now. If things work out, I’ll live up here. It’s your listing if you want it,” Gage told Megan.
“That would be great,” Megan said uncertainly. “It would get Lainie off my back for a while, anyway.”
“I’ll be in tomorrow to sign the papers.”
She frowned. “You made a bunch of promises last time. How about you follow me to town when this meeting is over, and we get it done today?” She met his gaze again and held it. Gage was the one to look away first.
He nodded.
“That’s the plan, then,” Carter said, more relieved than he’d thought possible. “Megan, you’ve got a listing to tide you over. Meanwhile, we’ll get these houses cleaned while we wait for the subdivision to be approved. We can list one or two even before I’m done with number twenty-three if we need to, although I don’t want to keep Amanda waiting forever. Speaking of which, can you recommend someone who can draw up a contract for my sale to Amanda?” Maybe it would cheer her if they made some progress on that front.
Megan nodded, opened her purse, shuffled through a few things and drew out a business card. “Andrew Fong is the man to see.”
“Thanks.”
The meeting split up. Gage followed Megan when she left. Amanda stuck around only long enough to say she’d see him at dinner.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he walked her to the door.
“I’m fine,” she said and was gone.
As Amanda exited the mill, she watched Megan climb into her dusty blue truck.
“I’ll wait for you at the Circle. Don’t even think of blowing me off, Gage Elliott,” Megan called from her open window before driving away.
Gage watched her go, then noticed Amanda’s approach.
“She’s got me cornered. Can’t back out now even if I wanted to,” he said, falling into step beside her. They trudged down Center Street together.
“You don’t want to sell your house in town?”
“It’s not that,” Gage said and fell silent.
“You don’t want to be alone with Megan?” When he didn’t answer, she went on. “If you don’t like her, Gage, just tell her. It’s not fair to ghost people.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to ghost her.”
“Then man up, get over yourself and ask her out.”
He turned a baleful look her way. “Did I ask you for advice?”
“No.” He hadn’t and she was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. “I like Megan, and I don’t want to see her hurt. I like you, too, by the way. Despite all… this.” She gestured at him.
Gage’s mouth curved into a half smile. “Some women like ‘all this.’”
She could understand that. Like she’d said to Megan before, Gage was handsome in a brooding way. Thank goodness she didn’t fall for men like that. She preferred men like Carter who called it like they saw it and didn’t leave you guessing about their intentions.
“I could say the same thing, you know,” he said when she didn’t answer.
“That you like me despite ‘all this’?” She struck a pose.
That earned her a chuckle. “No. That I’m worried about Carter. That if you don’t like him, you should just tell him.”
His concern surprised her a little, but she supposed it shouldn’t have. That was Gage’s problem, wasn’t it? He cared too much. Worried too much, too. It was keeping him from even trying to succeed at the things that were important to him.
“Do I look like I don’t like him?”
“No,” he admitted. For a few minutes they shared a companionable silence as they walked down the forested road. The peace of this place, despite the whine of saws at the mill from time to time, soothed her. Amanda had always lived in cities and had no idea how pleasant this kind of setting could be. “Just be honest with him, no matter what happens,” Gage finally added. “Carter has been hurt before. Not by women,” he qualified.
“By your family?” she guessed. Carter had alluded to it a few times.
Gage nodded. “By me,” he admitted, surprising her all over again.
“I think Carter puts family above everything else,” she said.
Gage looked her way again. “But if you let him, he’d put you above even us.”
Something was really wrong.
If Carter had thought Amanda was reserved at lunchtime, she was downright pensive at dinner. When he suggested a walk afterward, she came willingly, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. They ended up at the beach, where Carter had hoped he might try for a few more kisses as a prelude to a night where he didn’t sleep in the living room, but he could tell romance wasn’t in the cards.
Instead, he built a fire and his brothers joined them, Hudson, Lincoln and Nate trading stories about their years in the service until even Amanda smiled once or twice. Gage wandered over and sat down but seemed as distracted as Amanda was. That was nothing new, though.
When they finally made their way to number twenty-three, Amanda said good-night and went straight upstairs after giving him a quick peck on the cheek. He heard the patter of her feet across the ceiling, the opening and closing of the bathroom door, the sound of water running in the pipes. He undressed and lay down on his air mattress, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep anytime soon.
Two hours later, he could tell she was still awake. He got up and crept to the bottom of the stairs, where he could see that light still spilled from under her bedroom door, creating a dim glow in the upstairs hall. Every once in a while, he heard the tread of her steps across the floor. It was as if she was going from her bed to a window, pausing there to look out and then heading back again.
What was keeping her up?
He didn’t bother trying to sleep himself. Half an hour later he was rewarded when he heard her bedroom door open and then the first creak of a stair. Carter got to his feet again, silently pulled on his jeans and waited. He wasn’t sure if he should confront her or let her go about her business. She might not like it if she thought he was spying on her.
Another creak.
Another.
He came to stand near the steps. “Amanda? Everything okay?”
She sucked in a surprised breath, then slowly came down the rest of the stairs. “You scared me. I thought you were asleep.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I was… hungry. I was going to head over to the kitchen. I just can’t seem to settle down tonight. This thing with my sister—my family… It’s driving me crazy. I didn’t eat enough at dinner, and now my stomach is growling so hard it’s keeping me up.”
“I’ve got a granola bar around here somewhere. Will that hold you for now?”
She nodded, looking grateful. “Thank you.” She sat on the stairs as he dug through his things and pulled out one for each of them, then fetched her a glass of water, one of the few items her kitchen could supply.
“Want to talk about it?”
Amanda sighed. “Not really. You don’t know how messed up a family can be,” she added.
“Is that what you think?” If only she knew. “I know a lot more about that topic than I’d like to.”
“I know you’ve had problems in the past, but you and your brothers are close. You’re all here rebuilding your family’s town. And don’t start in about Gage. He’s cranky, but he’s here, and you yourself said he wants you to succeed. I think you’re right.”
“It took twelve years of us being apart to get back to a place where we could be together.” There was nowhere for them to sit comfortably down here, so Carter took her hand and led her up the stairs to her bedroom.
“Are you seriously trying to make a move on me right now?” Amanda asked.
“I’m trying to find somewhere for us to sit and talk. Although I could be persuaded,” he admitted, ushering her into the bedroom. He plumped the pillows against the headboard of her bed, took a seat and patted the bedspread beside him.
With a long-suffering sigh, Amanda joined him there. She wore a soft T-shirt-and-shorts combination meant for sleeping in that made Carter miss the tank top and panties she’d worn her first night here. Had she upgraded to something a little less revealing in case of nocturnal conversations like this? If so, it was too bad.
“You really think your sister is worse than my brothers?” he asked to restart the conversation. Maybe the late hour and the warm glow of the small lamp on the bedside table would inspire confidences.
“I know she is. And I’m not buying that the five of you didn’t talk for twelve years.”
“We talked,” Carter admitted. “Now and then. Mostly because Mom demanded it. She set up video calls and group chats and kept after us until we all participated, but if she hadn’t done that, I don’t know if we would have kept in touch.”
“What happened that made you so angry with each other?”
Carter wished they were talking about her family, but he figured he had to give a little to get a little. Maybe if he told her about his past, she’d share more about hers.
“It wasn’t so much we were angry,” he said slowly. “It’s more like we were… ashamed.”
The truth of it hit him even as he was saying the words. He’d never stated it so clearly, but now that he had, he was forced to face it.
“Ashamed of what?”
“Being complicit in my father’s failure. It… hurt. Your dad is supposed to be infallible. When you’re a boy growing up, you think someday you’ll be infallible, too. We watched him lose everything. More than that; we failed right alongside him.”
Amanda bit her lip, but she didn’t interrupt him. Carter rubbed his palm over his jaw, aware of the tension massed throughout his body.
“We tried,” he went on. “All of us gave it everything we had. The collapse of this place didn’t happen all at once. First the price of lumber started to slip. We lost a contract or two. Dad had to let a few people go. And then a few more. Gage and Nate went to work with him to pick up the slack. Later, the rest of us joined in. We did school when we could, worked every minute of the day when we got home. More people started to move away.”
“That must have been hard.”
“After a while, Lincoln, Nate and I were working the mill night and day. Gage shifted over to the logging operation, and he and Hudson were practically running it around the clock. We went from eighty men to sixty to thirty-five to fifteen. Then it was just us. Dad was juggling bills, robbing Peter to pay Paul, maxing out credit cards. You name it.”
Carter’s voice thickened with the memory. Those days had never seemed to end. The constant work, the skipped meals, the aching muscles—
The mistakes.
He’d never forget the day Nate was nearly crushed when a couple of logs fell off a truck during the unloading process. He’d never heard his father yell so loud. Never seen his brother move so fast, either. They’d all been shaken by the accident and the knowledge that next time they might not be so lucky.
“The work was killing my dad. You could see it happening. We tried to take the burden off his shoulders, but there weren’t enough of us. I’d come across him hunched over, rubbing his chest or his arm. His face would get so gray.” Carter broke off and shook his head. “It wasn’t the workload that was crushing him. It was the failure. He couldn’t stand it. Elliott Ridge was supposed to be our legacy.”
“When did he give up?”
“He never did. That’s the thing.” The pain of it filled his chest and burned his throat. This was the hard part to tell. The part no one outside his family knew. The part that filled him with a shame that seared him from the inside out. Putting it into words felt like walking naked onstage in a packed auditorium.
He backtracked, needing to tell her more family history before she could understand how things had ended. He was grateful for the reprieve.
“That library you like so much,” he said. “That was Mom’s happy place. She was a reader and expected us to be, too. When we were little, she read out loud to us every night. We got books for Christmas.”
Amanda nodded, but he could tell she wasn’t sure why he’d taken the conversation in this direction.
“Nate got into science fiction. There was this one series he couldn’t get enough of, a complicated political saga set on various planets. One thing about it fascinated all of us. Each family dynasty in the series had its own secret language—a sign language they could use in battle situations so enemies couldn’t understand what they were saying. We’d seen enough war movies by then to know that soldiers used gestures like that, too, when they needed to communicate silently. We took the idea and ran with it.”
“You had a secret language?” A smile curved her mouth.
“Hell, yeah, we did. Drove the other kids in the community nuts. We used it during sports, playing card games, when we were hanging out.” He shrugged.
“I would have loved that. My sister and I were close when we were kids, but we never came up with our own language.”
“Nate tried to recreate the entire English vocabulary, but the rest of us never mastered it. We ended up paring it down to the most useful signs. Since it was supposed to be secret, we didn’t use any gestures that someone else would be able to guess. Like, we didn’t use an hourglass motion to mean, ‘She’s hot.’”
“What did you use?”
Carter made a sideways chopping motion with his right hand twice. She noticed he held his arm straight down, moving only his hand. If you weren’t looking for the gesture, you might not even notice it.
“Why’d you pick that?”
“Because it made no sense. That was the point. No one except us could figure out what we were talking about. Anyway, one gesture became the most important one.”
“What was it?”
He bunched the fingers of his right hand together, then flicked them wide. “Shut your mouth and open your eyes. In other words, keep quiet, listen to what I’m saying and go along with it—no matter what. It came in handy when one of us was about to get into big trouble and needed the rest of us to back up his alibi. We made a rule about it. You could use it only when there was no other way to get the job done. If you did use it, the rest of us had to go along with it, no questions asked.”
“Seems ripe for abuse,” Amanda said. “One of you could have completely overplayed it.”
“Not as much as you’d think, given how unruly we were in those days.” He smiled to remember it. “But we’d mostly grown out of the habit when Gage used it one last time.”
“What happened?”
Carter sighed. He couldn’t put off the rest of the story anymore.
“It was Gage who ended things,” he said. Once again shame unfurled hot tendrils throughout his body, and his voice felt thick with the emotions he wanted to hide. “He’d found Dad curled up in pain on the floor in the mill office the day before. Dad refused to let Gage call an ambulance or even take him to the doctor. He pretended nothing was wrong. Gage couldn’t stand it anymore. The next day at breakfast, he stood up and announced he was leaving. He was joining up. We all were.”
Carter took a deep breath, remembering the way it all went down. The pancakes going cold on the table. His mother standing in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. The tears in her eyes. “It was news to the rest of us, let me tell you. You could have heard a pin drop around that table. Hudson opened his mouth to challenge him, but Gage made that sign and stopped him. None of us knew what to do. No one had ever used it in a situation like that. Were we supposed to go along with it? Were we actually supposed to walk out on my dad?”
Amanda was watching him. Carter swallowed against the lump of pain in his throat. He’d never known panic until that day. He’d had seconds to evaluate everything—his future. His family. His loyalty to his father. His duty to save his life even if it broke his father’s heart.
“Dad turned to the rest of us. Demanded to know if it was true. If we left, there was no way he could keep the place going himself. Nate was the first to agree with Gage. Then Hudson. Then Lincoln. We all knew what Gage was doing. We knew Dad wouldn’t give up—so we had to force his hand. I’ll never forget how it felt when Dad turned to me. I’m the baby. His favorite, although he’d never admit it. If I refused to agree with Gage, the game was over. We’d go on just like we had before—until we buried him. It was all up to me.”
“What did you do?” Amanda whispered.
“I wanted to say I was staying. I love my father. Going against him felt like stabbing a knife in his chest. But I knew if we stayed, the Ridge would kill him for sure. So I said…” Carter’s voice went raspy. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I said I was joining up, too.”
He was unprepared for the sorrow that washed over him. The sharpness of his betrayal still stung as bitterly as it had twelve years ago. He hadn’t been able to meet his father’s gaze. He knew he’d rung the death knell of the home they all loved.
“Dad didn’t say a word. He just stood up and left the table. Went to his room and shut the door. He was still there when we drove off a half hour later. Gage said we had to go through with it. We had to leave Elliott Ridge right away, or one of us would cave in and it would all be for nothing. He said it was the only way to save Dad—and Mom, for that matter. He didn’t want to make a widow of her to save a patch of forest. ‘We have to make our own way now.’ That’s what Gage said. So we packed our bags. I don’t think I’ve done anything harder in my life.”
“You left together. Why didn’t you all join the same branch of the military?”
Carter remembered the way they’d stood by their vehicles outside the home they grew up in, Gage arguing for all of them to join the Army.
“I couldn’t forgive Gage for making me betray Dad,” he said quietly, remembering the rage that had burned through him, leaving him taut with agony. “When he said he was joining the Army, I chose the Navy. I wanted to get as far away from him as I could. I guess Nate and Hudson felt the same. Lincoln was the only one who went with him, but they chose separate paths from there. Gage became a Ranger. Lincoln went into the Special Forces.”
“So you all scattered.”
“We let him down. My dad. We put an end to everything he’d spent a lifetime building,” Carter said. “We couldn’t stand to see each other and be reminded of what we’d done.”
“Carter.” Amanda touched his arm. “I’m sure your father understood.”
“I’m not.” The more he talked about it, the more his throat threatened to close up. He needed to change the topic. “So now you know my story. What about you? What are you and your sister arguing about, anyway?” He tried to make his tone light, but he was having trouble shaking the pain that still lodged hard in his chest.
Would she finally trust him enough to tell him the truth?
Amanda had so many questions she wanted to ask Carter, but she could see how hard it had been for him to tell her this much. It wasn’t fair to keep him in the hot seat when she was keeping so many secrets herself.
“There’s one parallel between my story and yours,” she said slowly, trying desperately to decide how much she could share with him. He’d bared his soul to her. By all rights she should do the same, but she couldn’t involve him in a criminal matter. That wasn’t fair.
She’d waited hours tonight, hoping he’d fall asleep and she’d be able to sneak past him so she could fetch the painting from the outbuildings by the mine. She didn’t have a plan yet for what she’d do with it, but she was running out of time and had to do something.
She’d figured she could take the road that curved by the lake before heading up the Ridge. There was a moon out tonight, and she could use her phone as a flashlight. As terrifying as it was to think about the journey there through the dark woods, or the danger of rooting around in an abandoned building past midnight, she was even more afraid to try to retrieve it in the daytime. Someone was always around. Anyone who saw her going to the mine would be sure to ask uncomfortable questions.
“My father is the major player.” She cut off. “I haven’t told many people about this,” she admitted. She wasn’t sure she wanted to now.
“You can tell me.” Carter covered her hand with his own. She was aware of the strength of him. Of his determination to know what made her tick.
Amanda supposed he was right. She could tell him some of it, as embarrassing as it was. She just had to keep her wits about her and not say too much.
Which hurt, given how honest he’d been with her.
“I was fourteen when my father went to jail—the year before he and Mom officially divorced.” Amanda braced herself, but Carter didn’t say anything or pull his hand away. She supposed he’d seen a lot during his years of service. Why had she thought he’d be shocked? “He’s an artist. A painter,” she went on. “A good one. Very technical. Very correct.” She sighed. “He made friends with the wrong people.” She still refused to consider that he had been the mastermind of the crime he’d committed when she was a teenager. She needed to believe her father had started out an honest man and been corrupted by Buck.
“He was a good dad. When I was young, he worked in different galleries for his day job, because he couldn’t support us through his art. He painted every chance he got, though, and eventually he managed to book some showings of his own work. We were all so proud of him. Mom had a steady job, which helped a lot. We were able to afford a small bungalow in a working-class neighborhood in Dallas. Dad claimed the detached garage as his studio. Melissa and I thought it was a magical place, although we weren’t allowed in it much.”
He really was a good father to her and her sister back then. He’d taught them to rollerblade and throw a baseball. He’d taken them trick or treating at Halloween. He was funny and did good voices when he read out loud to them. Both her parents worried a lot about money, though.
“When I was thirteen and my sister was twelve, things changed. My dad made a new friend. Buck Bronson.” Amanda hadn’t meant to mention him, but now that she had, she found she couldn’t stop her narrative. There’d never been anyone to tell about what happened. Her mother refused to talk about it, and Melissa still worshipped the ground their father walked on. “They met at one of the galleries where Dad worked. Buck used to be a police officer and picked up security guard shifts there when they held big events. They got to talking, and I guess they hit it off. They started getting together outside of work. Buck praised Dad’s paintings to the skies. I think that was heady stuff for my father. He was good at what he did. Very technical, like I said. He wasn’t innovative, though, so he still wasn’t selling much, despite the shows.”
“Was Buck a collector?”
“In a way.” Amanda shook her head, wishing she could share her private joke with Carter. Security guards didn’t make enough money to collect art in a serious manner; when Buck stole a painting, it wasn’t with the intention of keeping it for himself. “He started coming to the house. Mom would invite him to dinner. It became a weekly affair, and soon he was almost a member of our family. He brought Melissa and me little presents. Chocolate, hair clips, magazines. We showed him our report cards and art projects. He was the uncle we never had. After dinner, he and Dad would go to Dad’s studio and talk art. Melissa hated that, because we weren’t allowed. I guess it bothered me, too.”
“What happened?” Carter asked when she was quiet for a long time.
“Buck had an idea for how Dad could make some real money with his painting skills. Melissa and I were getting older. Our bungalow was beginning to feel cramped, I guess. Mom still tried to support Dad’s painting, but when I look back now, I see that she was losing faith it ever would come to much. They were probably fighting about money and what they wanted out of life. Mom likes things cut and dried. In her head, things either work out or they don’t, and Dad’s painting wasn’t working as a career. All that time he was spending in his studio was time he could have spent looking for a better job or helping her around the house.”
“What was the idea?”
“Buck would get work as a security guard for one of the major art galleries in the city. Dad would create a forgery of one of the paintings showcased there. Buck would make the switch after hours and find a buyer for the original through his connections. He’d worked for the Dallas police for eighteen years. We found out later he left the force to avoid being kicked off it. He was a man who made friends—lots of them—on both sides of the law. I think he knew someone who knew the kind of collector that would buy stolen art.”
“Your dad went along with it?”
“He did,” Amanda said quietly. That part always shocked her. Was Buck that persuasive, or had her father always been comfortable with cutting corners? “Turned out he was good at forging a painting. Buck was less good at swapping it for the real thing.” She suppressed a shiver at how wrong it had all gone.
“He got caught?”
“Another employee walked in on him.” She took a deep breath. “Buck killed him.”
Carter’s hand tightened around hers.
Amanda found it hard to keep her voice steady after that. The moment Buck shot the other security guard was the moment he’d ruined all their lives.
“I guess he thought he had a better chance of getting away with it if he fingered someone else for the murder, so he planted evidence that led the police to my father and skipped town. My dad panicked the minute they showed up at our house and told them everything. They caught up with Buck before he made it too far.” She’d never forget that night. The lights of the police cars swirling in their driveway. She and Melissa hiding terrified in their bedroom while uniformed strangers shouted and crashed around in their house. The way her mother held them as her father was arrested. Melissa had screamed and screamed as her father was dragged away and put in a squad car.
“So his connections on the force didn’t keep Buck out of trouble? Something tells me he wasn’t too happy about that.”
“He managed to get the charge down to voluntary manslaughter. He was sentenced to eleven years in jail. In the end, Dad wasn’t convicted. He created the painting with the intent to profit off stealing the original, but the switch wasn’t successful, and he wasn’t present when Buck killed the other guard. He was locked up pending arraignment, though. That’s when Buck got his revenge.”
Carter waited patiently as Amanda stared at her hands tangled in her lap. She liked to believe the world was a fair place and that most people were good, but when she had to remember what happened to her father, she wasn’t so sure that was true.
“Three days into his time in jail, my father was badly beaten by another inmate, who let Dad know he’d been paid for his trouble. Dad ended up in the hospital. He was the prosecution’s star witness against Buck, but the minute the trial was over, he disappeared from our lives. I guess he thought that was the only way to get beyond Buck’s reach.”
“Wait. He left you behind?” Carter frowned. “After Buck proved what he could do even from jail?” She could tell he was trying to bite back what he really wanted to say—the same thing she’d thought a thousand times.
Her father had taken the coward’s way out.
“He didn’t think Buck would go after us. He thought if he was gone, we’d be fine.”
That’s what she told herself, anyway. Believing the alternative—that he’d gambled with their lives to save his own—was too awful.
“Was he right?”
Amanda’s breath caught. No one had ever asked that question. Now that he had, she couldn’t lie to him.
“No.” The word came out a whisper.
“Amanda.”
“I mean, I don’t know,” she backtracked. “Something happened. Maybe Buck didn’t have anything to do with it. Nothing was ever proven.”
Carter waited, his gaze locked on hers.
“Our house. It caught on fire.”
He still said nothing. Amanda’s words spilled over each other to get out. She’d never told this story to anyone.
“The flames started in the garage. Right outside the bedroom I shared with my sister. We woke up to alarms. Smoke so thick we couldn’t see a thing. I don’t know how we got out.”
She remembered running barefoot into the street. Clinging to Melissa, both of them hollering at the top of their lungs for help. She remembered sirens. Someone pulling her out of the way as a firetruck veered to a stop outside her house.
“Mom—” She stopped and fought to control her voice. “She’d taken a sleeping pill—”
Carter’s grip on her hand was firm. Amanda clung to it.
“When they dragged her out, I thought she was dead. She wasn’t moving.”
“But she was okay?” Carter prompted when she couldn’t go on.
Amanda forced her emotions down. Kept going. “We all spent a night in the hospital. Then we went home.”
Carter stiffened. “You went back to the place Buck nearly burned down around you?”
Amanda nodded, swallowing against the terror of the memory. “Melissa and I slept in the living room for months. They had to rebuild a whole wall to make our bedroom habitable again. The night it was ready, Melissa ran away.”
“She was afraid?”
“Probably. Angry, too. She’d already decided everything that had ever gone wrong was Mom’s fault.” Amanda had said that before, but Carter needed to understand where things stood.
“She left you alone with your mother. In that house.”
“She was found and brought back, of course. She did it a few more times over the next couple of years. Mom finally gave up and moved us to Houston. I guess she realized that even though she fixed our house, she couldn’t recapture the past. I was happy to move. No one there knew anything about my dad or what he did. Melissa was still angry, though. She met a guy, and six months later, she ran away again. This time Mom let her go—like I told you before. Melissa lived with his family until she graduated. Meanwhile, I finished school. Went to Rice University for college. Studied business. I nearly had a perfect GPA.” She didn’t say that studying was her go-to way to stop the memories from crowding in her mind. That she’d decided if she was perfect—if her grades were perfect—she’d be safe.
“So everything was all right in the end?”
Hardly.
Carter leaned in closer. “Something else happened.” It was a statement, not a question.
In for a penny, in for a pound, she supposed. He might as well know the rest.
“I made a new best friend in high school in Houston. Got a boyfriend, too. We were like the Three Musketeers and all went to Rice University for our business degrees. We had most of our classes together. Studied together. Went out together. You get the picture. All of us were near the top of our class.” She’d been the closest. “When we graduated, we applied for an entry-level training program together at a prestigious international company. We were positive we’d get accepted. I was a shoo-in for sure.” She took a steadying breath. “That’s when my dad’s crime made it to Prominent Cases.” She named a popular national true crime show.
Carter’s hand tightened around hers.
“They sensationalized the whole story. Included the fire and everything. We’d refused to be interviewed for the show, so they got actors to play us. Everyone I met after that wanted to know all about it—including the man who conducted my follow-up interview for the training program. I didn’t get accepted, of course. Maddy and Erik did.”
Carter was watching her with concern. “They went ahead without you?”
Amanda nodded. “As they should have. Last I heard they’re still together. Married. One kid. Probably another on the way by now.”
“Amanda.”
The pity in his voice felt like razer blades scraping her skin. She fought the urge to get up and walk right out of the room. She decided it was better to say it all once and then never talk about it again.
“I took the first job I was offered. Moved to California. Los Angeles. Went to work. Came home. Kept busy however I could. Made some nice acquaintances that never quite became friends. Saved my money. It was like… I went to sleep and couldn’t wake up. Like I couldn’t figure out a reason to keep trying for happiness. I didn’t want to lose any more pieces of my heart.”
“That’s understandable. It’s how I felt after we left the Ridge—like I didn’t want to get attached to anything.” Carter shrugged. “That served me well while I was with the SEALs. You get moved around. Your situation changes all the time. There’s no such thing as continuity. But then you get to wondering what you’re doing it all for. There was no one waiting for me when I finished a mission.”
She nodded. “Exactly. I worked hard all day and came home at night to an empty apartment. What was the point of it all? I kept thinking something would happen. I’d get a sign that it was time to come back to life.”
“Did you get one?” he prompted when she fell silent again.
“I thought I did. My dad showed up three months ago. Said he wanted to make up for lost time. He wanted to start over. Despite everything, I wanted that, too.” She looked up at Carter. “I was a fool, wasn’t I? He nearly got my mom, my sister and me killed, and there I was inviting him into my home. I was so sure he’d learned his lesson, but now that I think about it, he never even apologized for what he did before.”
“He’s still your dad.”
“I lied to Mom—by omission.” She was ashamed of that. “I never told her or Melissa I let him move in with me.”
“He moved in?”
She nodded. “He painted all day while I was at the office. Said he’d rekindled his love for it while he was away. After dinner he spent the evenings with me. It seemed like he finally wanted to be the father he hadn’t been since I was a kid. And then—” Amanda stopped short, realizing how close she was to spilling everything. She couldn’t tell him her father had committed another crime. “He… left.”
Carter waited, as if he knew there was more.
“Suddenly he was gone,” she repeated. “He never made me any promises, so I shouldn’t have been so surprised, but I was. It really hurt that he thought he could blow in and out of my life that way after everything else he’d done. I felt used. Tricked. I just… couldn’t face carrying on like everything was business as usual. I needed to get out of LA. I needed a change.”
It pained her to twist the truth after telling him all the rest.
“What made you pick Chance Creek?”
“Pure luck,” she said and forced herself to smile at him. “And it really was lucky, because that’s where I met you.” Amanda made up her mind. Tomorrow she would figure out what to do with the painting if it killed her. She would get it into the right hands and get out of this mess. Then she’d tell him everything.
“I feel lucky, too.”
He leaned in. Amanda met his kiss gratefully. He’d listened to her in a way no one else had. In a matter of days, when she was able to tell him the rest, she thought he’d be able to understand that, too. She felt better than she had since the day she escaped out the back window of her apartment. She had Carter on her side, and that meant she could handle anything.
When he eased her down onto the bed, she let him, warming to his kisses, free of worry for once. Carter gave her all the time in the world to push him away, but now that they were past the hard part—now he knew what her father was and still cared for her—she didn’t want to hold back any longer.
She wanted this man. Cared for him. Wanted to stay here in Elliott Ridge with him and forget all about the past—and the future. For tonight, the present was enough. She was hungry for closeness—for love. Wanted to be with Carter all the way.
Carter sat up, pulled his shirt over his head, then tossed it aside. Straddling her, he reached to help her dispose of hers, but Amanda was ahead of him. She arched her back, tugged her T-shirt over her head and shoved it away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down and delighted in the feel of him as he allowed his weight to settle on top of her.
“You okay with this?” he asked. “We’re inside. This time it counts.”
“I want it to.” She wanted whatever Carter was willing to give. It wasn’t fair, since she hadn’t told him everything yet, but Amanda couldn’t wait anymore to let him know how she felt. She was his, if he’d have her. She couldn’t pretend anymore that she could hold back.
As he bent to explore her, brushing kisses over her mouth, cheeks and neck, Amanda ran her hands over his wide shoulders and back. He was all muscle, his scars rough under her fingers.
When his explorations took him lower, Amanda helped him unclasp her bra and gasped when his mouth covered one newly freed nipple. She gave herself up to sensation then, clinging to Carter, moaning inarticulately each time he gave his attention to another part of her anatomy.
Carter took his time reacquainting himself with her body, and only when she was burning with desire for him did he shuck off his boxer-briefs and settle himself between her legs again, his hardness evidence of how much he wanted her, too. He flexed his hips and slowly pushed inside her in the most delicious way possible. Amanda opened to him with a sigh and tilted her head to meet him as he lowered his mouth to hers. As Carter possessed her fully, she melted into him, every nerve ending lit up at the electricity of his touch.
As he moved within her, Amanda joined his rhythm, knowing she’d always remember this moment. She’d shared with Carter things about her family that had caused her shame, and he hadn’t blinked. He still wanted to be with her.
She pushed away any worry about the secrets she still kept. He was hers and she was his, which was exactly what she wanted.
She could have picked any flight, Amanda thought suddenly, clinging to Carter as he picked up speed. She could have gone anywhere. It was pure luck that had brought her to Chance Creek. Pure luck that had her in Carter’s arms right now.
Or fate.
Maybe all this was meant to be.
Maybe Carter was the man she’d waited her whole life to meet. Maybe this was why her days had felt so empty in Los Angeles. Because the man she was supposed to love belonged in Montana.
Love.
Amanda wrapped her arms tighter around Carter’s broad shoulders, met every thrust of his body against hers with a tilt of her hips. She wanted all of him. Wanted everything he could give her. Wanted to never let him go.
She was in love with this Navy SEAL. This man who’d welcomed her at first sight. Who’d offered a new way to live. Who was making her dreams come true.
She loved Carter.
His next thrust brought her over the edge. Wave after wave of sensation crashed through her. All Amanda could do was ride it out as Carter reached his limit, too, pounding his own release into her with thrusts that threatened to push her against the headboard.
When he finally collapsed on top of her, Amanda felt like she’d been wrung dry. He kissed her neck, rolled over and brought her with him, tucking her under his arm as he lay on his back, breathing hard.
“You’re wonderful,” he growled into her hair, holding her tightly against the length of his body.
“So are you.” She couldn’t remember ever feeling like this. Carter was… perfect.
As his hand brushed over her skin, curving around her bottom and sliding up to the small of her back, Amanda could tell he was already recovering.
Already wanting more.
She wanted more, too. “I can’t believe I found you,” she murmured against his shoulder.
“I’m so glad you did.”