SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” The first step toward success is to believe you can. I think that most people are born with this belief because without it, most people would never learn to crawl, walk, or talk.

Unfortunately, over time, many people have their can-do attitudes trained right out of them—their dreams trampled by people who encourage them to be “realistic” and set their expectations low in order to avoid disappointment. Discouraged in their youth, these people tend to discourage others when they become adults.

On the other hand, people who’ve been encouraged to pursue their dreams tend to encourage others. They see problems not as insurmountable obstacles, but as challenges that can be overcome. They focus on the goal and do whatever it takes to achieve it.

When you surround yourself with positive people, you have a support group and fan club all rolled into one. They cheer you on through disappointment, assist you with their skills and experience, and share their resources to help you achieve your goals.

SEEK OUT POSITIVE IDEAS

In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale published The Power of Positive Thinking, which was destined to become an international bestseller. The notion that you could transform your life by transforming your thoughts was revolutionary, and readers loved to hear the message that they were the masters of their own destiny.

Motivational books, audio recordings, and even videos abound. You can find them at your local bookstore, on the Internet at sites such as www.simpletruths.com, and by attending motivational seminars. All of these resources are great tools for boosting your enthusiasm and energy and establishing a healthy and productive mindset. Throughout my career, I have actively sought out motivational speakers and writers for inspiration.

In my youth, when most of my generation was following the adventures of Superman and Wonder Woman, I had entirely different heroes, including Zig Ziglar, Tom Hopkins, and Charlie “Tremendous” Jones. I read their books. I listened to their tapes. I even skipped school to attend their events and rallies. I didn’t have enough money to get in, so I would have to go to the place they were speaking at 5:30 AM to sneak in.

I wouldn’t hesitate to approach these incredible speakers. I was awestruck, but I would approach them after the event and ask questions or tell them how much I admired them. Zig Ziglar once asked a young Ralph Roberts, “What are you doing here, son?” I gushed out, “I got special permission to be here, sir,” I lied. “Someday I’m going to be successful like you and do what you do.” “I’m sure you will,” he said.

His words were inspirational. What an incredible moment for me. Luckily, I wasn’t afraid to approach and talk to these people. Today, I invite many speakers to come to the Detroit area for lunch. Those I’m friends with, I invite to visit with my family. I get to network with these inspirational and intelligent people. You won’t believe how much you can learn and how inspiring their enthusiasm can be.

BANISH NEGATIVITY AND SELF-DEFEATISM

Whenever I’m talking on the phone and the person on the other end starts to go negative on me, I make an excuse to end the call. I’m not rude about it. I just say something like, “Hey, I have another call coming in, can I call you right back?”

This short-circuits the negativity and gives me some time to regroup and set the conversation back on a more positive track. When I call back 15 minutes, an hour, or a day later, I can then begin the conversation on a positive note and hopefully keep it moving forward in the right direction.

I make a point of not letting negativity in. If I sense it, I immediately find a way to steer clear of it, just as I would veer to the left or right to avoid an oncoming car. It’s as instinctive to me as the fight or flight response. Negative self-talk and self-defeatist thinking can be as destructive to your goals as a head-on collision, so I strongly encourage you to avoid them at all costs.

MASTER THE ART OF POSITIVE TALK

The first date I ever went on with my wife, Kathy, was to lunch at a local pancake house. I had met Kathy when I was running one of my sports bars and she and her girlfriends came in. At first she didn’t seem very interested in me. I tried to spark her interest in various ways without much success. Then, after talking on the phone a few times, I finally said that we should have lunch at the pancake house, and would she like me to pick her up or meet me there? And that’s what finally got us going together.

Notice I didn’t ask Kathy, “Would you like to have lunch with me?” My question assumed we were having lunch, and the only question was how to get there. This is an example of asking for something in a way that assumes a positive outcome. I’ve heard this technique called “power talking” and various other terms. It’s a tried-and-true sales technique. For example, when a waitress asks, “Would you like a glass of red or white?” instead of “Would you like a glass of wine?” But, like most of the techniques in this book, it’s one that too many salespeople ignore.

Recently, on a very busy day when I hardly had time to think, a reporter began a telephone interview with me asking if she could tape record our conversation. Instead of just saying, “Yes, that’s okay,” I replied, “Get out your tape recorder and let’s have some fun!” She laughed and I could just feel her energy level rising. The interview continued on this higher level of energy, and that, of course, resulted in a more positive story for me.

Basically, positive talking is a way to emphasize common ground, to create positive thinking, and to get both sides working toward a successful outcome. It’s a way to express your interest in you client’s well-being. It’s a way to energize a situation. Just think about how the singing of the National Anthem before a baseball game energizes the crowd. You need that same quick uplift in energy when you begin a sales call. Positive talking can help you get that.

Picture this: Suppose you go into a meeting after a long, difficult day. You’re grouchy, tired, and you don’t really want to be there. When your host says, “How are you?” you could be bluntly honest and say what kind of a day you’ve had. Or you could say, “Great! And this meeting will make my day even better.” The second version is more likely to lift your own spirits and put everyone in the mood to do business.

Note the distinction between this upbeat, forward-looking style of conversing and a reliance on scripts or other phony approaches. You can’t rely on scripted remarks without putting off your clients. They can tell when you’re not sincere. Positive talking doesn’t mean being phony or dishonest or manipulative.

Rather, being positive assumes you still react honestly to any given situation but you remain confident, focused, and engaged with the client in your conversational style. Positive talking is a way of conversing that increases the energy level for both you and your client, while negative talking drains that energy. Positive talking alone won’t win you a new client, but the lack of it will lose you many.

Ralph’s Rule: Pay careful attention to your conversational style with clients. Ask yourself this: Would you want to do business with you? Customers like salespeople who are positive and professional and who make them feel special. Positive talking can help you achieve this image.