Ally fully believed what she had told Reagan. She needed to stop putting her life on hold.
And yet four days later, when Tina had called her with the news of his request for a babysitter, her heart had given a little jolt. That didn’t mean she wanted to see Reagan. Her wounded pride could take only so much, and it refused to allow her to run after him again.
But as unready as she felt to face him, once Tina explained the situation he was in, Ally couldn’t say no to spending her day off at the Hitching Post. She couldn’t turn down what might be her last time to see Sean.
When she crossed the lobby with Jed, he left her to go down the hallway to the hotel kitchen. She clamped her fingers on the sack from SugarPie’s holding the sweet rolls she had brought with her. The way to a man’s heart, as Mama and Paz would say.
She was beginning to wonder if Reagan had a heart.
Hers beat wildly as she stepped into the sitting room and met his gaze without blinking. Without saying a word.
He looked at her, glanced at the sack, then blurted, “It’s not Saturday.”
“No, it’s not,” she said coolly. “But having Sugar’s sweet rolls on a Saturday isn’t a ritual with me. I can eat them any day of the week.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He shifted his key ring from one hand to the other. “Jed said you’ll be giving Tina a hand with the kids. I was surprised to hear you were off for the day, it being Friday.”
“I took a vacation day,” she said evenly.
“Nice. My days are getting used up fast. That’s partly why I’m working today.”
He seemed rattled and definitely more talkative than usual. Ironic, considering all the hours she had spent trying to get him to open up.
“Well,” she said, “I’m here now. If you’d like to get going...”
...if you wouldn’t mind leaving the room...
How could it be that, only a few days ago, they had made love and she had been so happy and content, and then everything had fallen apart so quickly?
He turned to say goodbye to Sean.
This might be the last time she would see Reagan, too. Deliberately, she focused on his profile. Dark hair, blue eyes, solid jaw, strong shoulders. It was as if she were taking inventory at the store, making a list of things she needed to order. A list of things she just needed.
He was taking his time. Why didn’t he leave, already?
As if he heard her thoughts, he said, “Maybe you’d better say hi to Sean before I go. He hasn’t seen you in a while.”
Her throat tightened. Her stomach did a crazy flip. She had been avoiding this moment, wanting to wait until Reagan was on his way before she approached the baby.
She joined Reagan beside the playpen.
Sean showed his excitement the way tiny babies did, the way she had seen him do before, flailing his arms upward and kicking his feet in tandem. Her heart raced at the sight of him. Smiling, she leaned down to take him into her arms. She wanted to close her eyes and cuddle him close and inhale his fresh baby scent.
But not while Reagan still stood looking at her. “If you’d like to get going...” she repeated.
He nodded and unhooked a key from the ring. “In case I’m back late and you’re able to take Sean home. I don’t want to ask the favor, but—”
“No problem,” she said briskly, taking the key and sliding it into the pocket of her jeans. “Sean would be better off going to sleep in his own crib. If it gets to be his bedtime, I’ll make sure to take him home.”
“Okay.”
Still, he hesitated, seeming reluctant to leave. Or maybe that was her wishful thinking.
He backed a step. “You have my number if you want me for anything.”
If she wanted him...
“We’ll be fine,” she said brightly.
He nodded. The second he went through the doorway, she cuddled Sean closer to her and kissed the top of his head. “Hey, my little boy.”
Tears she’d managed to hold back till now flooded her eyes.
She loved this baby as much as she loved his daddy, and it was breaking her heart to know they were going to leave her.
* * *
IT WAS FULL dark by the time Reagan parked his truck outside the house. He crossed to the porch and went up the steps.
His day had gone on longer than he’d expected, with traffic delays, a wait for the CEO at the client’s office, internet problems when he was giving his presentation in the client’s boardroom.
In the downtime, he couldn’t keep from checking his phone in case Ally had left any messages. But he knew she wouldn’t call. At the Hitching Post that morning, he could see the same determined, chin-up pride on her face he had seen in the Cantina’s parking lot.
As he had all week long, he couldn’t keep from thinking about her and what she had said that night—that he didn’t want her flirting with the cowboy, yet he didn’t want her, either.
If she only knew how wrong she was there.
And boy, if she only knew how wrong he’d been to do what he’d done this morning. She had been cool to him when he’d left the sitting room. He had stepped into the hotel lobby, then abruptly turned back, not sure what he was going to do or say. And he’d seen her kiss Sean and heard her talk to him in a voice filled with tears.
He couldn’t deny the evidence of how much Ally loved his son. He had thought a lot about that today.
Now his hand shook as he opened the door.
The kitchen was deserted. No Ally. No Sean.
But from the living room he heard her singing to the radio. He smiled.
He walked slowly and quietly across the kitchen and down the hall. Not because he wanted to come up on her unawares to see how she was taking care of his son. Not because he wanted to startle her and hear her funny little screech. But because, though his feet were moving slowly, his heart was pounding and his pulse was jumping.
Because he knew his future and Sean’s would depend on everything he would say in the next few minutes.
From the doorway, he watched her with the dust cloth, lovingly wiping each knickknack and putting it back on the shelf. He’d been too keyed up this morning to notice she had worn one of her bright blouses with all the colors, yet she had tied her hair back in the braid he’d gotten used to seeing.
His two Allys in one.
Sean sat in his carrier on the end table near the door. Reagan ruffled the fine wisps of his son’s hair.
That morning, somewhere between leaving Garland Ranch and arriving at his destination, he had done a lot of thinking about what he’d heard and seen of Ally with Sean. And he’d finally managed to put all the last of his random quilt pieces into the pattern. He’d finally figured out why he hadn’t let himself trust Ally.
It was all tied up in something he never let himself dwell on.
Feelings.
Feelings about his dad telling him never to come back. Feelings about his mom dying without him ever knowing. Feelings about Elaine deserting both him and Sean. Feelings that made him automatically include Ally in the same category as his ex.
He had been so wrong.
Ally wasn’t at all like Sean’s mother.
He had turned Ally away the time they almost made love—and she stayed to watch the baby. He made love to her then hurt her in the worst way possible—and yet this morning she had come to his rescue. She really did love Sean.
And she really did love him.
Crazy as it seemed, watching her so lovingly dust those knickknacks told him she really wanted to be there for the long haul.
So did he. He’d known that for a while but hadn’t been able to admit it to himself.
Ally had been cool to him at the Hitching Post. Seeing her turn now and give him a blank-faced stare told him she was going to be cool to him again.
He’d messed up, hurt her, refused to believe her when she said she loved him. Rejected her after she had given him the gift of herself.
All along, she had been the one trying to win him. Now he had to apologize and win her, or he was going to lose her forever.
“Hey,” he said, “I’m home.” Yeah, great start.
“I noticed,” she said.
“It’s getting late. It’s Friday. You probably have somewhere else you want to be tonight.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”
“Then maybe there’s someone else you want to be with tonight.”
She said nothing. He lost his breath, the way he had that time a wild kick on the football field sent a ball right to his chest. Only that didn’t hurt as much as this did.
He glanced down at Sean and thought again of how much Ally loved his son. And how much she loved him.
Ally watched Reagan watching Sean. Her heart hurt and her feelings were all jumbled up, and she wanted to go to Reagan and tell him that no, there was no one else she wanted to be with tonight but the two of them.
She had already done her best, already given everything she could give. But she believed in herself and knew her love would win out over her pride. She wouldn’t walk away tonight without telling Reagan again that she loved him. Because she did and always would.
But he needed to trust his feelings. To trust her.
And so, for flirty, chatty, teasing Ally, staying quiet right now was the biggest challenge she had ever faced. But she did it. Because she knew love could also win out over fear.
She dropped the dust cloth on the shelf and took a seat in the chair facing the door. Facing Reagan.
He brushed his son’s hair with his fingertips. Then he took a seat on the couch. “I’m glad you could watch Sean today.”
“You said that this morning.”
“And I’m still glad.”
She nodded.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he said.
“I can be when I want to be.”
“So I’ve seen. You can be anything you want to be.” He smiled. “And I can talk when I have to. When I need to. And I need to now. Ally...I’m sorry for acting like an ass this week, last week and ever since I got back. I’ve been gun-shy with you because of what happened with Sean’s mother. And I have to confess, I used Sean as my excuse not to get involved with you.”
She hadn’t expected that. “Why?”
“Because I told myself I didn’t want any short-term relationships or to have Sean get close to any women who wouldn’t stick around. And while that’s part of it, I realized there’s more.” He fiddled with a pile of magazines she had brought with her and left on the coffee table.
When the pile slipped from his hands to the floor, she swallowed the smile that hadn’t yet made it to her lips. She went to kneel beside the coffee table to help him pick up the magazines. It reminded her of the day she had knelt beside him when he had unpacked the box from his mama.
The day they had made love.
As if he might have remembered that, too, he took her hand and waited until she rose to sit beside him. She would swear his fingers trembled for just a moment. Seeing him drop the magazines had already shown her how nervous he was. Reagan Chase never fumbled a ball.
She knew how hard it would be for him to share whatever he told her next.
She squeezed his hand.
He returned the pressure. “I didn’t want to get close enough to another woman—to making a commitment again with another woman—only to have her walk away from my son. Or from me.” He shook his head. “I think now I reacted to that the way my dad reacted to me, lashing out, feeling hurt pride, feeling rejected.”
“I wouldn’t have rejected you. I told you how I felt.”
“I know you did. But I was...hell, I don’t like to say the word, but I was afraid. Was afraid. I’m not anymore, Ally.” He took her hand in both of his and pressed it gently between his palms. “I see how much you love my son. And how much you love me. I’d be a fool to give up a chance to be with the woman who has always loved me.”
“Trust me,” she said. “We’re all fools sometimes.”
“I do trust you. And I know you’re one smart woman. You were right that night at the Cantina—I didn’t want you with that cowboy. Because seeing you with him made me realize how close I might be coming to losing you. That’s the last thing I want.” He squeezed her hand between his. “I want you, Ally.”
“Which me?” she asked archly, trying to hide her own sudden nerves. Reagan wanted her...but that could mean so many things.
He laughed. “I want both sides of you, Ally. The sexy, flirty woman in the bright colors who always makes me laugh. The one who knows how to get me hot, and who has me head over heels for her because I know, deep down, there’s another side of her that’s shy about many things.”
He smiled and tugged gently on her braid. “And I want the quiet, shy woman who listens and understands and offers heartfelt advice but doesn’t judge. The one who gets me hot, too, because I know what she’s like when we’re alone together.” He leaned closer to whisper into her ear, “And it’s damned sure not shy.”
She laughed, even as heat flooded through her.
He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. “But mostly, Ally, I want all of you. The whole package. The sexy, flirty, quiet, shy, loving woman who had the patience to wait long enough for me to come to my senses. The woman who stole my heart and my son’s.
“That night at the Cantina,” he added, “you said I couldn’t even tell you I cared. You were right. I couldn’t. I don’t mean I didn’t care, but that I couldn’t say the words. Now I’m saying it. I care about you, Ally. I love you.”
A tear spilled down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb. Then he tilted her chin up and kissed her once, gently. “I’m glad you waited for me. I’m glad you never gave up.”
“I couldn’t,” she said simply. “I’ve always loved you.” She smiled through fresh tears. “And in case you’re wondering, my heart has always been yours and Sean’s to keep.”