NOAH
It’d been months since I’d been home, and I missed everything and everyone. We were such a close community and I hated how distant everyone was here. I had no idea who our neighbors were. The most contact we’d had were grumbled hellos over the fence.
But we were finally going back to visit for the weekend and I couldn’t wait. Dad loaded up our bags while Mum made food for the long journey. We were leaving in an hour, but I wanted to spend some time with Scarlett before I left.
“I’ll be back soon,” I said to Dad as I walked down the path.
“All right, send our regards to Scarlett.”
“I will.” Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I made my way to her house, not even bothering to try to convince myself I wasn’t overeager to see her anymore. I felt what I felt, and I couldn’t change it any more than I could control it.
I arrived minutes later and Jeremy answered the door. He rolled his eyes and told me she was upstairs. I’d become a regular at their house as me and Scarlett went through that needing to be around each other all the time stage that really didn’t need to be faked by me anymore. I honestly didn’t think I ever needed to fake it. Even before she consumed most of my thoughts, I had enjoyed spending time with her.
They shouldn’t have chosen me.
Scarlett was lying on her back on the bed when I walked in, just staring up at the ceiling.
“You okay?” I asked.
She didn’t look over, but she did smile. “I’m really good.” She wasn’t but she was dealing. Having me there helped because she thought I hadn’t betrayed her. And I hadn’t. Yet.
I sat on the bed and started playing with her fingers. “Yeah, why is that?”
Looking over, she arched an eyebrow and replied, “Why do you think?”
Of course I knew, but every time she said something like that, she made me feel a hundred feet tall. Hell, every time she looked at me the way she always did.
“But I’m also sad.” She pouted adorably. “Two days is a long time.”
“It’s not that long.”
“No,” she said, sitting up. “You’re supposed to agree with me here because you’ll miss me too.”
“I will miss you too, but it’s okay.”
“How is it okay?”
“Because there are people out there, living and working so far away from the people they love for months, years even. Time doesn’t mean anything, Scarlett, not when you really care about someone.”
“Okay, that just made me feel a hundred times better about this weekend.”
“Good, because I don’t think I’ll be able to speak to you much. I’ll try going to town a couple times though.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s actually okay. Time doesn’t mean anything, right? Just enjoy your time with your family and don’t worry about leaving your stupid limited service and no Internet village and checking in. I’ll see you when you get back.”
It didn’t really feel like checking in, not when I wanted to talk to her. I wasn’t going out of my way because I wanted that contact. But she was right, and I needed to reconnect with everyone back home because I could feel myself losing touch.
“I’ll still try to call. I want to,” I said, making her smile.
“Okay, it’s not like I’d ignore the call or anything.”
I knew she wouldn’t, and I loved that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
“What do you have planned?”
“Sleepover at Imogen’s. I’ve been a bit of a crap friend since you came along.”
“No, you haven’t. You still spend time with your friends.” She’d made sure she spent time with Imogen and Chris. She wasn’t going to Imogen’s because she felt like a bad friend; she was going because she didn’t want to stay home all weekend.
She shrugged. “I do but not as much as I used to. A girls’ night will be good, especially after everything that’s been going on.”
“Yeah, you deserve some time away from the tension.” There was still a lot of tension; Jonathan and Marissa tiptoed around her and she barely spoke to them. She still had a lot of questions and still didn’t know who Evelyn was, but she could barely look at them to ask.
I wanted to tell her, but of course I couldn’t. Even if I could have, I wouldn’t have. After everything, she deserved the truth when she asked for it, when she was ready.
“Think one weekend I can come with you to visit your family?” she asked. “I want to see where you grew up.”
“You want to see my tiny, technology-neglected island or my aunt’s in Dublin? Both are home.” I couldn’t show her the island. I’d never even been there and only knew enough to answer any general questions. Ireland, where I grew up from the age of seven, she would see soon enough.
“I’d love to see both.”
I would love to show her around too. I would love for us to be normal and be able to live out the life I’d started to fantasize about. She deserved that. I deserved that.
“Do you think your parents would let you go away with me? They look like they want to run away with you when you mention leaving the house to go in the garden,” I said.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. They can’t stop me from doing everything. It’s so weird. A part of me wants to meet my biological parents, even after everything they’ve done. I don’t know how to speak to my parents anymore. I still have so many questions and I’m pretty sure I’m either still in shock or dead inside. How stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid. It’s going to take a while to get your head around everything—it would for anyone. You’re not dead inside for needing time to process what you’ve been told or for not being ready to have another conversation with your parents about it. And it’s natural to want to know where you come from, Scarlett. But how would you even find them?”
“I’ve no idea. I wouldn’t actually do it. Believe me, I get the danger of being anywhere near them, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered running too.”
That was news to me. “You have?”
“At first, yeah. When they told me who they are, I was so scared. But we’ve moved around a lot, and they obviously have no idea where I am. And, you know, if they ever tried to contact us, we’d call the police.”
“You’re going to be fine here.”
“I know. Besides, I don’t want to have to start all over again and I don’t want to leave you.”
“What do your parents think?”
“They don’t think I’m in any danger just because I know the truth. In fact, they agree that it’s safer I do, so I can be more cautious. We love where we live and the friends we’ve made and don’t want some crazy cult to ruin that. I need the familiarity of here and my friends when everything else has changed so much.”
I swallowed hard, an uneasy feeling settling down. I still felt loyal and didn’t like her calling my family crazy. But I could see it from her point of view—a point of view I was leaning more and more toward sharing. I’d never needed to go home so much before. I had to be back in my community, so I hoped I could set everything straight in my head.
“Look, I’ve got to go or my parents are going to be angry. I’ll try calling, but if I can’t I’ll see you in just two days.” I kissed her, cupping her cheeks in my hands. When I was with her like this, nothing else but her made sense. If she was the only thing that gave me clarity after this weekend, I would know Eternal Light was wrong and everything I’d been led to believe my whole life was built on poor judgment and twisted truths.
I was petrified.