NOAH
We arrived at the commune hours later, and I felt like I could breathe easily again. Everything was right here. I didn’t have so many difficult choices. We had a clear path and followed clear rules.
We were immediately jumped on by the community and led to the communal table, which I’d helped to carve from fallen trees in the forest. They had so many dishes laid out, I couldn’t count them. It was real food and I knew exactly where it’d come from and what it was going to—or not going to—do to my body.
I couldn’t keep the elation off my face as I sat on the wooden bench and tucked into Bernadette’s famous asparagus fettuccine. I sat at the end of the table with Finn and a couple friends: Skye, Zeke, and Willow. They were the only ones around my age, with Skye and Willow the closest. I wished they were guys, so one of them could’ve gone to betray Scarlett instead.
Everyone started passing dishes around, filling their plates, wide smiles on their faces. The atmosphere was electric. We were all happy to be back together again.
“Thank you,” I said to Bernadette as she passed me the basket of homemade rolls. The only things that were different were the sunflowers—they were bigger, taller, brighter than when we’d left. A feeling of belonging settled in my heart, and I properly relaxed for the first time since we moved.
Our laughter filled the air, and there were animated conversations along the stretched table.
“So what’s she like?” Willow asked. She and Skye were identical twins, and if it wasn’t for Willow’s love of short hair and Skye’s of long, you’d never have been able to tell them apart. They sat side by side, directly opposite me.
“She is everything we’ve been told,” I replied. We’d grown up loving Scarlett, only now I think I loved her in a completely different way.
Skye rolled her dark green eyes. “Oh, come on, Noah!”
“Fine. She’s beautiful, funny, compassionate, a little bit crazy, stubborn, and smart. She never has a bad thing to say about anyone.” And she deserves a chance to go to university and live off cheap noodles like she wants. But that couldn’t happen. The next life she has will be perfect, much more than this one. She’ll be happier and I’ll join her eventually.
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Zeke said. He spoke of her with such admiration it made my throat thicken. There wasn’t one person here who wouldn’t give their life to protect her for as long as it took to get her here. “Do you think she will hate us though?”
Yes, absolutely.
I shrugged. “I’m sure once Donald and Fiona explain, she’ll understand. She challenges society’s ideas already, so I don’t think it’ll take her long to come around.” She didn’t really challenge anything. Or I hadn’t had a conversation about anything like that with her, but she was a good person, always looking to do the right thing. But in the end it didn’t matter.
“What is it like living out there?” Willow asked, making it sound like we’d moved to the moon, which didn’t feel too far off actually.
“It’s horrible,” Finn said. “I can’t wait until she’s back here and I never have to step foot outside the commune again.”
“You’ll still have to do the food runs,” Willow pointed out.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m with Finn,” I said. “Although I’m not having quite as hard time adjusting. It’ll be good to be home permanently.” When that happened, it’d mean Scarlett would be dead. I didn’t like “civilization” much, but I’d stay there if it meant I could stay with her. I wished Donald would give me four years with her.
I took a deep breath and pushed all of that stuff away. I wasn’t home long and I was determined to enjoy it. Whatever I was feeling would sort itself out. We all loved her, but I knew her in a way no one else did, and that was bound to throw up some issues and emotions. It didn’t mean I wasn’t still just as devoted to Eternal Light.
After our meal, I helped to clean up, and we gathered goblets of water. The year of water was coming to an end in a short few months. The year of earth would start again, and Scarlett would be safe for a while—if it wasn’t for the fact that we already had her within our grasp.
Fiona gathered us around a lake I had helped to build six years ago. It was between the edge of the forest and our wooden houses. We’d dug it wide and somewhat narrow, so it was a rectangle with curved edges. It was the length of forty people with their arms stretched out to their sides.
I held my goblet up in one hand, mirroring what everyone else was doing. Donald walked along the line, touching each goblet and bowing his head.
“You give us life, give us the means to sustain ourselves,” Fiona said. “Water cleanses the earth. It allows people to drink, to wash, and to grow crops. You give us all we need to live now and beyond.”
Donald reached the end of the line and took his offering from Fiona.
“We will not forget to be thankful every day for what the earth provides us. We will not take it for granted nor will we be selfish with it. We will take only what we need and make sure we are able to replenish what we use.” He tilted the goblet, and the water poured over lip of the glass into the lake, adding to the water we’d blessed and built up over the last six years.
Once Donald’s was empty, he bowed his head, giving the cue for us to follow. I tipped mine slowly and watched it trickle into the water. There wasn’t a day that passed that I wasn’t grateful for life. People abused the earth we lived on, most without any realization of what they were doing. I wouldn’t turn into that.
That day and the next, I fell back into my old life, but there was something missing. Or someone. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, wondering what she was doing, if she was hoping I’d call. There was no way I’d get a signal out here, and they’d already done a run into town to get supplies the week before.
When it was time to leave, I felt an even mixture of dread and longing. I’d missed Scarlett, but my community was everything, and it was hard to be without them.
“Not long now,” Bernadette said, handing me a paper bag that would be filled with snacks for the journey back.
“Thank you. I cannot wait until we’re back here for good.”
Our good-byes took a while; everyone hugged me and my family for longer than usual, trying to shorten the time we would be apart, even if by precious seconds. We knew what it was like to be separated now, whereas the first time we left, we knew it would be difficult but didn’t know how much.
Donald and Fiona approached, saving their good-bye with me until last.
“Noah,” Donald said. “I cannot even begin to express how proud of you we are and how grateful.”
“You are doing a wonderful job of keeping Scarlett safe,” Fiona added. “But I know that it is not easy, so remember why we are doing this. Keep that in your heart and you will be fine.”
I felt like she could read my doubts and see that what I felt for Scarlett had evolved. Would they have said that anyway, or were they concerned that I was falling in love so felt they had to back up our beliefs?
“It isn’t easy, but I know what I have to do, and I know it’s the right thing for us all.”
Donald smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. “You are wise beyond your years, Son.”
Sometimes I didn’t feel it. Coming home for a while was exactly what I’d needed, but that didn’t stop me wanting more for Scarlett before she made the ultimate sacrifice for our community. If I thought they would consider my request and let me go back to her, I would have asked them for those four years. I could stay with her, see that she did everything she wanted to, and then in four years’ time, bring her here. But I knew if I asked, they would question my loyalty and I couldn’t risk that.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Are you ready, Noah?” Dad asked. My tearful mum was already in the car, and Finn was saying a last good-bye to Zeke, Willow, and Skye.
With an uncertain nod of my head, I replied, “I’m ready.”
As we got in the car, people shouted things like “bye,” “see you soon,” “take care,” and “remember we love you.” I took a deep breath and waved good-bye to my home. Knowing I would see Scarlett soon made me miss her more. I was anxious to get back to her. My heart beat faster knowing I would see her soon.
I felt sad to leave, but that was quickly replaced with a contented smile at the thought of holding her again. The whole way home, I was silently counting down the minutes until I could go and see her. I was hopelessly in love with her—and our love was hopeless.