22

NOAH

“Is she okay?” Marissa asked, wiping her eyes as I got downstairs. Scarlett had fallen asleep and I didn’t want to wake her, so I’d left a note telling her I loved her and would see her later. I wasn’t sure where Jonathan and Jeremy were, but I couldn’t hear them in the house.

“She will be,” I replied.

“This is such a mess. I never wanted her to find out. We only ever wanted to protect her.”

“She’ll understand that. She just needs time to process everything and adjust. I mean, that was some confession.”

This was the first time since Scarlett had found out the truth that I was talking to them about it. But everything they’d said was exactly what Donald told me they’d say. Jonathan and Marissa had completely lost sight of what our community was trying to achieve. They’d let their doubt grow into something toxic that clouded their judgment and caused them to make snap decisions that affected everyone. In their heads, they’d turned Eternal Light into something it wasn’t.

When I finally got my chance, Scarlett would see the truth behind her parents’ tale.

Marissa managed a smile. “Yes, it was. We had to get her out of there, and when she woke up and couldn’t remember a thing, it was so easy. It was as if fate had given us this chance to start over and make it up to her. What we almost sat back and allowed happen…” She paused, shaking her head. “Finally, we could give Scarlett and Jeremy a normal, safe childhood, so we took it.”

“Did you ever worry about her remembering?”

“At first, yes. As time went on, we assumed it wasn’t going to happen. Perhaps we shouldn’t have been so complacent.”

“Do you think you should have told her?”

“No,” she replied. “We had to protect her and this was the best way to do it. Those people were going to murder her, Noah.”

I pursed my lips and nodded. That wasn’t right. I don’t think. Going home hadn’t given me the clarity I’d hoped for. I was still just as confused.

“I’m terrified she’s going to hate us and even more terrified that she’ll try looking for them. If they knew where she was…” Scrunching her eyes closed, she took a deep breath. “She may not have my blood running through her veins, but she’s my daughter and I love her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.”

“You mean leaving town?” I asked. The thought of not seeing her hurt, but at the same time, I wanted to tell them to take her and get as far away as possible.

“I don’t know what I mean. I don’t believe there’s any danger to her here. If they knew where she was, they would have tried to take her already. We’re safe here; I’m more concerned about Scarlett right now.”

“She’ll be all right.”

“I hope so,” she replied.

“I’ve got to head home for a bit, but I’ll be back tonight, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” she said. “It helps her, you being here.”

“I won’t be long. See you later.”

I had to get out of there. I couldn’t think straight. The walls were closing in, air thinning to the point where I could barely take a breath. My head hurt, and I was mentally exhausted from trying to work out what I believed and what I was going to do.

This was exactly what they’d talked about. They’d said that the outside world could get to you, make you believe whatever they wanted you to. The government fed you little pieces of information that made you think things were okay.

I didn’t want to be one of them. I wanted to think for myself, but what if Donald and Fiona were the equivalent of a government? The tug-of-war between Eternal Light and Scarlett was going to ruin me.

Home wasn’t even a break from it. The second I got in, Dad told me I needed to call Donald. I just wanted a break from everything, some time where I could be left alone to think independently.

Scarlett occupied ninety percent of my thoughts, but that could just be because of the attraction I felt toward her. I liked her, loved her, fancied her like crazy, but I shouldn’t have let that come between me and what I’d known my whole life. Everyone back home was family and you put your family first.

I went to my room to call him, knowing my dad would allow me privacy to speak to Donald. We held trust very highly, something that made me feel even worse about doubting Eternal Light.

“Noah,” Don said. His smooth voice calmed me, made me remember what I was part of. I wanted it to be over already. I wanted to be home again, where everything was simple and I didn’t have to constantly struggle and fight to find my way.

“Hello, Donald. How is everyone?”

“We are doing just fine. And you? I trust the journey home was pleasant?”

“Yes, it was all right,” I replied, rubbing vigorously between my eyebrows. Headaches were coming all too often now. I never got ill back home, where we had little to stress about.

“Noah, I am going to have to call you back another time, tomorrow perhaps. Fiona needs assistance with something rather urgently.”

I opened my mouth to protest. I should tell him about Scarlett knowing the truth. Nothing was more urgent than that, but nothing came out. I’d spent two days pretending everything was all right with her, and I still couldn’t tell him what was really going on.

I should’ve told him. It should’ve been the first thing out of my mouth when we’d arrived home.

“All right, was there something you wanted me for though?”

“No, it was just to check in and see how everything is. But we will talk later. I have to get back.”

“Speak to you soon,” I said, and he hung up.

I put my phone down and looked up to the ceiling. What am I going to do?

“Everything all right?” Finn asked. I snapped back to reality to see my brother leaning up against the door frame.

“Yes. Why?”

He shrugged. “You look tired.”

That was an understatement.

“I am. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t cure.”

“All right.” He pushed away, and I was left with my obsessive thoughts again.

Scarlett or Eternal Light? It shouldn’t have even been a choice.

Before I could think anymore, I dialed Donald’s number back. Family first. My community had to stay my number-one priority. Please don’t let him be far enough back to the commune to not get signal.

My heart was in my throat as I called. Part of me wanted to take Scarlett to the other side of the world, away from her family who had broken her heart, and away from Eternal Light who valued their eternal life over her human one. Either way, someone was going to suffer. And either way I was going to.

I understood why they wanted to do it—Scarlett was our salvation—and we’d be reunited with her afterward, but she deserved to get everything she wanted out of life.

“Noah,” Donald said. “Is everything all right?”

Closing my eyes, I replied, “No. Sorry, you didn’t give me the chance before, but Scarlett knows. Jonathan and Marissa told her everything.”

A minute’s silence stretched out in front of us until he finally replied, “I see. When did this happen?”

Swallowing, I replied with more lies. “Today. What do you want to do?”

Call it all off. Please.

“Act,” he replied, and I closed my eyes, temples throbbing. “We move this forward. It’s not ideal, but perhaps it will work in our favor.”

“How so?”

“Right now, she will be confused. It will be easier to get through to her with the truth.”

What was the truth?

“Are you sure, Donald? We’re still weeks off.”

“I understand that, Noah, but we do not have a choice. We cannot risk them running.”

“With all due respect, I don’t think they are going to run. They have nothing to run from.”

“We can’t risk the fear that Scarlett will now undoubtedly feel forcing Jonathan and Marissa’s hand. You know they moved every few years in the past. They don’t know what to do, so they run; it is their answer to everything. We need Scarlett here, Noah. The longer we leave it, the higher the risk of something happening to her. We have worked so hard for this. Scarlett will be sacrificed so that we may all live on. She is the one, our salvation, our everything. My daughter is the light that will lead us to eternal life. I am not willing to wait, not another four years, not even another three weeks.”

Ignoring the distaste on my tongue and twist in my gut, I replied, “Yes, Donald. When do you want to do this?”

“I’ll call you tomorrow to finalize the details, but we move on Saturday.”

“Saturday? That’s only six days away.” I should have weeks. I need weeks.

“I know. Can you do this, Son?” he asked. He often called me and the other guys “son,” but this was the first time it bothered me. That alone left me with an uneasy feeling. I used to rely on him for answers. He always had answers, but they just didn’t make as much sense anymore.

“I can,” I replied.

“Good. You are strong, Noah. Do not let the outside world make you crumble.”

Donald hung up, and I dropped the phone on my bed. I wasn’t sure that hadn’t already happened.

What have I done?

“Dad,” I called. My heart was stuttering and my palms began to sweat. “Donald wants it done on Saturday.”

The next thing I heard were three sets of footsteps thudding up the stairs.

* * *

My final week with Scarlett was passing too quickly. She tried to act as though nothing had happened, but she still hadn’t sat down with her parents and sorted their situation out. I wanted them to now more than ever. I didn’t want their last memories of each other to be tense.

It was Wednesday, just three days before we would be in Ireland. And I still hadn’t asked her to come with me. We sat on the bench at school during lunch hour, while our friends laid on the grass listening to music.

I was putting off the inevitable. Turning to her, I blurted out in a low voice, “Let’s go to Dublin this weekend.”

“Dublin?” Scarlett said, eyes widening in surprise. “You want to take me to Dublin? This weekend?”

I shrugged, swallowing the acidic taste of bile, and took a look around to make sure no one was listening. Chris and Imogen were engrossed in what they were doing and Bobby was serving detention. If either of them had heard, they would have questioned it or at least looked up. “You said you wanted to.”

“I know, but it’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?”

“I suppose, but you could probably do with the break, and it would be nice to fall off the face of the earth with you for a while. We could do something that’s just for us. I’ll tell my parents I’m staying with Chris and you tell yours you’re staying with Imogen.”

“Dublin?” she repeated, a slow smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah, why not? It’s no different than going to London for the day. We’d just take the ferry rather than a train.”

“I suppose. I do like it when it’s just me and you. We don’t get that enough.”

Bending my head, I kissed her and replied, “Me too. I want us to be alone.”

She gulped, biting the inside of her cheek. “Like…that?”

“I love you.”

Her breathing came out a little harder; then she smiled. “Yeah, I think I really want that. No, I know I do because I love you too, so much.”

Her words sucked the air out of my lungs until I felt like I was suffocating. Keeping my calm, I said, “I’m so glad you said that. I would also like us to have fun, and I can show you some of the places I visited a lot growing up.”

“And try Guinness?” she asked, giggling.

“If we can get served!”

“You look older than sixteen. You’ll get served.”

“Then yes, we will try Guinness.”

She watched me for a minute. I didn’t want to push it and have her get suspicious, but I think I wanted her to say no. When she agreed, my stomach churned. She looked at me with big, trusting eyes. Her expression for me was different than her expression for everyone else—softer, happier. I didn’t deserve it.

She placed the palm of her hand on my chest as she stared at me.

My throat started to close. A weight crushed my body until I felt like I was going to break. No. She looked at me with such adoration that it made me feel physically sick.

“What’s up?” she asked, her voice so low I barely heard her.

Gulping, I replied, “Nothing.”

“There is. All of a sudden you tensed up and you’re looking at me like… Well, I don’t know what like.”

“Nothing is wrong. I just really love you, Scarlett.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I just really love you too.”

I kissed her. “Right.”

Biting her lip, she did a surveillance of our surroundings. “I want to be with you, Noah. Today.”

My body went rigid. I wasn’t supposed to do that. But would it be so wrong to give us that? After what we would both have to sacrifice very soon, was it wrong to want something perfect first?

“Tonight,” I repeated, and kissed her.

She loved me, trusted me, and I was about to throw her to the lions.