27

SCARLETT

The more I knew about them, the more terrified I became. There wasn’t going to be any getting through to them. They genuinely believed all the crap about my “crossing over” and “opening the door” for all of our eternal life. In-freaking-sane.

Today marked day one of the ritual and my second full day at the commune. It was too soon for me to jump in the water and cry with happiness because I was the Light, but I also didn’t want to put up too much fight.

I was told to wear one of my white gowns; they hung to the left of the wardrobe. Not giving a crap what I wore, I ripped the first white one off the hanger and threw it on. Tonight was the first “ritual.” We were going to be “joined” or some crap like that. We weren’t going to be joined; I was just going to be terrified while they did whatever they felt they had to. Then I’d die.

“Are you ready?” Bethan asked.

The last time I spoke to her, she had been offering me cake in her kitchen. I straightened my back and stared at the traitorous bitch. How could she have had me over at her house so many times knowing what was going to happen?

“Yes,” I replied sharply.

“Don’t look afraid, Scarlett. This is just the beginning.”

Yeah, that was what I was afraid of.

“Can’t wait,” I said sarcastically.

Smiling, she reached up and placed a headband made from daisies on my head. I almost asked the significance of it but then I realized I didn’t care.

Fiona and Donald walked me out of their house and toward the lake. The rest of them followed. I didn’t falter one step as we walked past the houses and stopped in front of the water.

“The Light has returned,” Donald said. “She and she alone will lead us into eternal peace and harmony. We will become at one with nature. We accept the Light as our salvation. Cleanse her and let her lead.”

Fiona took my arm and walked me into the water. My bare toes slipped beneath the cool surface and I wanted to bolt. Donald’s words were insane. This was all insane. Fiona took another step forward and extended her arm, making me go it alone the rest of the way.

Looking back over my shoulder and purposefully avoiding Noah’s eyes, I took a step closer to the center. The water stung for a second before I became accustomed to the temperature. Fiona was right about one thing; it wasn’t too cold.

I shook with fear as I reached the middle, flattening the dress to my side so it didn’t puff up and float to the surface. Turning around, I saw them all standing much farther back, watching me. They were in a single row, and although I couldn’t hear them, I knew they were speaking. Their mouths moved in perfect synchrony.

Leaves rustled in the light wind, making it even harder to hear. I managed to lip read the Light a few times. The dress, now plastered to my legs, felt like it weighed a ton. I might as well be wearing an anchor.

I could run now. They were far enough away that I could get a head start, but it would probably just be a few seconds. And I had no idea where I would go.

Gulping, I closed my eyes, as I couldn’t hold in the fear and uncertainty anymore. I cried in the middle of the lake while thirty-nine people watched.

* * *

I hoped ritual day two was going to be better. Yesterday had been horrendous. Ten minutes after I was sent into the water I was taken out, carried back to Fiona and Donald’s, and put in a bath. I tried to be strong but I was exhausted in every sense. I curled up in bed, refusing to talk to anyone or eat anything, and cried until I fell asleep.

That was the one weak moment I’d allowed myself, and I put it down to the shock of it all actually happening. From now on, I would hide my feelings. I would be strong. Whatever they had in store for over the next few days, I would be ready and I would deal with it.

All forty of us sat around the communal outdoor dining table eating dinner. I knew the second ritual was coming this evening, but I didn’t know exactly when and that had me on edge. I didn’t want to ask because then I’d be able to count down the minutes.

At the end of the table was Noah. I could feel his gaze burning a hole in the side of my head. Hell would freeze over before I acknowledged him.

I picked at, annoyingly, one of the most delicious homemade bread rolls I had ever eaten. We had vegetable soup, bread, and salad for dinner. I was starving, but I knew something was happening to me again soon, and that made my stomach churn too much to accept food. It looked like I was missing another dinner.

If I wasn’t careful, I wouldn’t have enough energy to bloody escape.

“Are we all ready?” Donald asked once Judith and her sister, Mary-Elizabeth, had cleared the table so fast I almost missed it.

Everyone stood and walked off without answering. Noah too. He was ready. I wasn’t, but then I didn’t get a choice.

Where were they going? I craned my neck to try and see, but they disappeared around the houses, lost to the night. My eyes darted toward the people that gave me life. What was going on?

“It is time,” Fiona said after five minutes of nail-biting silence.

Like with the last ritual, they led me to what felt like my death already. I hated having no idea what they were going to do to me almost as much as I would have hated knowing what was coming. This time we went to their community hall. I bit my lip. It was eerily quiet tonight and the sky was a moody gray. I walked slower, placing my gladiator sandal–clad feet hard on the grass as if I could make them stick.

As we approached the barn, I started to feel cold and wanted to bolt in the opposite direction. Whatever was waiting for me in there I knew I didn’t want it. Every step took every ounce of courage I had.

“Do not be afraid, Scarlett,” Fiona said.

I wanted to ask her why I shouldn’t be afraid. I pursed my lips and stared ahead at the closed double doors. It didn’t really matter what was going on; they could have had me cuddle a puppy for an hour and I’d still be scared.

“Okay,” Donald said, stopping and grabbing handle. “I can’t tell you how elated I am that we have been reunited, Scarlett.” He already had.

He opened one of the doors, and I stopped breathing altogether. Everyone was in the hall, dressed only in white, standing in a circle. They’d done all that in five minutes?

Candles were alight everywhere. I closed my eyes as my mind forced a few missing puzzle pieces together. I remembered this before, a few times it’d happened.

My head throbbed. I saw a sea of white, smiles on everyone’s face, and blood. Why blood? Shit, why blood? My mind felt like it was cracking, fizzing, bursting. It hurt.

“Are you okay?” Fiona asked.

There was no point in telling her that I was remembering before. She wouldn’t care anyway. “Fine,” I whispered, balling my hands into fists as the throbbing escalated so quickly I felt sharp pain behind my eyes.

“Good evening,” Donald said. “I know how exciting tonight is, believe me, but Scarlett is still new to this again, so I ask that we try to keep things as calm as possible.” He was met with a sea of nods. “Thank you. Scarlett, please step into the circle.”

I looked down, and on the floor was a ring of wildflowers and sticks. “Are you bloody kidding?”

“Please step into the circle,” he repeated, completely ignoring how rude I was.

As I stepped forward, I caught Noah’s eye. No, I hadn’t wanted to do that. He didn’t deserve anything from me at all.

He watched me carefully, regret plastered across his face. Seeing him brought his betrayal back and it stung just as much as it had three days ago. I wanted to stop loving him. Turning away, I looked down at the floor. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be around him. He made me feel claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in, ceiling collapsing. I hated him.

“Does Noah have to be in here?” I asked, not bothering to lower my voice. I didn’t check if he’d heard. I hoped he did, so he knew I hated him as much as I still loved him.

“He does, yes,” Fiona replied. “Please don’t be too hard on him. He was only doing what was right for Eternal Light. And for you.”

I turned away from her too. There was no point in saying anything else. They were all too far into their stupid cult to understand what Noah had done was wrong and to see what they were doing was just plain crazy—not to mention illegal and something they’d be imprisoned for.

“If we are ready, we can begin,” Donald said.

Everyone took one step forward. They were so obedient. He’d really done a good job in convincing them he was the leader and could take them—by sacrificing his firstborn child—into eternal life. And no one questioned that. No one.

Evelyn. My heart ached for a sister I didn’t even know. I wondered if she cried when she saw what they’d done to me? Was she as scared as I felt? I wished my parents could have taken her too.

“The Light was given to us so that our souls may be reborn and we may be reunited upon our human death. Through her, we will live on. Through her, we will be with loved ones passed. We offer her. She is the one; she is the Light,” Donald said. He spoke slowly, quietly, believing every word as much as the rest of them.

“She is the one; she is the Light,” Fiona repeated and then so did the rest of them. Their voices, although low, carried through the room, making it deafening. Or it could just be deafening because they were basically chanting about murdering me.

I was so scared I wanted to run away and hide somewhere until my parents found me. That wasn’t an option. I was all I had. Stay calm. If I could just switch off while they did the rituals, I would be able to hold everything together until I found a way out. I could do that.

Donald took a knife and my eyes widened. I turned cold and spun around to face the door. Behind me, now in front of me, were Shaun and Bill. They were obviously there to stop me running. They each grabbed an arm and kept me in place.

I shook my head. “No! What’re you going to do? No, please don’t.” This wasn’t supposed to happen, not yet. Ice traveled through my veins. I stepped forward as much I could, putting as much distance between me and Donald as I could. He had a bloody knife! “Don’t. Please, please, don’t.”

“It is okay, Scarlett,” Donald said.

“It’s not,” I wailed, thrashing in their arms, spilling tears all over the floor. My heart beat so fast I felt light-headed. “Please don’t do this. Noah, help me! Please help me.” This couldn’t be happening. Did they lie about the other rituals? I started to hyperventilate, completely unable to get enough oxygen. This couldn’t be happening.

I screamed, knees buckling as another memory smashed its way back into my mind. Burning hot fire. A throbbing in my arm. People yelling. Panic. I could taste the panic. I was crying, but it was different to now; it was a petrified child’s cry. I was scared of my parents for the first time. Now I was scared of them again.

I came to again as a pain sliced through my arm. I screamed so loud it left a ringing in my ears. He’d cut my inner forearm. The gash was about four inches long and deep enough for blood to steadily pour out.

I watched, frozen, wide-eyed, and in horror as the man that half created me held a white goblet under my arm to catch the blood. I think I was in shock. Would I know if I was? I couldn’t move. I was too stunned that he’d cut me, even though I knew what their end plan for me was. Before it was all talk, but now he’d physically hurt me and I knew there would be no convincing him to let me go. My breathing was far too fast, but my rapidly rising and falling chest was the only part of me capable of moving at all right now.

“Shh,” Fiona said in a soothing voice while the rest of the cult chanted, but in whispers this time.

I did what she said but not through choice. I latched on to her calm aura and kept my eyes glued on hers. Surely she couldn’t actually let her husband murder her daughter?

“I…I don’t… Why?” I rambled, trying to make sense of something that was senseless.

“It is all right, Scarlett, but you need to calm down and breathe.”

Breathe. I took breaths as evenly as I could while I was still crying and a little dazed. My entire body shook violently. They’d opened up the light scar that I was told I got from a bike riding accident when I was four. The scar wasn’t from an accident.

Fiona hugged me awkwardly as Shaun kept hold of the arm that wasn’t bleeding. But he didn’t have to; I couldn’t move anyway. I saw Noah over Fiona’s shoulder, watching me with such pain and sadness in his eyes that it made me cry harder.

How could you?

Bethan brought forward a large, deep bowl made from bamboo. Donald poured my blood into it and I watched threads of blood sink into the water. My eyes flicked back to Noah. He was still watching me, still looked in pain.

“We will become one. We will share her light,” Donald said, prompting the rest to switch their chant.

Noah’s mouth moved in time with the words, but it didn’t look like he was making a sound, but that could have just been wishful thinking.

Taking the bowl from Bethan, Fiona held it to her lips and took a sip. I wanted to throw up and felt very close to losing what little I ate at dinner. They were all going to drink my blood. Noah. I looked to him, but this time he didn’t meet my eye.