“Ester!” A voice called.
“Ester!” It called again.
Deep in her dreams Ester heard her name called. She was dancing with Olof. He held her hand. He whispered in her ear. They twirled around and around, the only two in the world. They laughed. Their breathing got faster as the dance got faster. Then it stopped. Ester saw her daughter in her sister-in-law’s arms. She let out a startled, tortured yelp and woke up to a sitting position. It was Astrid touching her shoulder.
“Ester, you are all right?” Astrid asked.
“Oh, Astrid, I was dreaming,” she said as she noticed the daylight coming from the window. “Oh no, what time is it? I am late.” Ester panicked as she jumped out of her bed. “Astrid, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?” Ester stumbled towards her wardrobe.
Astrid answered stepping back out of Ester’s way. “I was wondering the same thing about you. You didn’t come down to breakfast. It must have been a late night. Don’t you have to be at work?” Astrid said watching Ester panicked state. “Ester, what is wrong?”
Ester rubbed her eyes and stared back at Astrid with a blank expression as if she didn’t understand a word Astrid was saying. Then she understood. She sat down on the bed again shaking her head as it dropped into her hands.
“Oh Astrid, what am I going to do?” Ester sighed.
“Ester, my dear, you must tell me what is troubling you. I can’t tell you what to do if I don’t know what has happened,” Astrid said as she touched Ester’s hand. “Get dressed and come down to breakfast. I will call Mrs. Petters to let her know you are ill. We can talk…”
Ester stopped listening to Astrid and thought to herself, I can’t tell Astrid what is wrong just yet. Before she responded to her, Ester got up again and walked towards the wardrobe. Looking back at Astrid she said, “Yaj! Please do call Mrs. Petters, but just tell her I overslept and will be there shortly with my apologies. Thank you Astrid so much for waking me. I am sorry to be so much trouble. I do appreciate your concern but I really should go to work now.”
Astrid lifted her skirts as she turned to leave. She looked back at Ester with a puzzled look, but left the room without further discussion.
Ester knew she would spend the day thinking and worrying about her dream. When she got to the Petters home, she found the housekeeper cleaning the dishes from breakfast. Mrs. Hanson informed her that the Petters had gone out already this morning and would be back for luncheon. Mrs. Hanson was only there part-time to assist with the housecleaning and laundry. She also told Ester that she thought Mrs. Petters was none too happy that she was late this morning. Fortunately Ester had prepared food for the weekend and there was plenty in the icebox for Mrs. and Professor Petters to forage.
Ester got started on preparing the dough for baking and trying to hold back her tears. She had to make a decision. Her thoughts rolled over and over events.
She had talked to the Immigrant Assistance Office. She had talked to Elsa. She had gotten a letter from her Mama. She didn’t want to talk to Astrid. She actually was surprised that Astrid did not already know what was going on since she regularly corresponded with her Mama.
She guessed Mama had decided not to discuss it with Astrid and keep her daughter’s confidence. She thought Mama was also waiting for Ester’s decision.
The bread got baked, the cupboards were cleaned and prepared for the weekly stocking. All the while Ester reviewed her options.
She loved August and Margit. They had taken her in when Mama was ill. She knew they loved baby Marie. She pictured what her plans had been when she started this new life. Carine would bring her daughter to Chicago. She would raise Marie in America. Life was good here. She could change her life here.
Then she realized she hadn’t thought about what happened to other people because of her actions. Carine was a scholar. She wanted to go to University. August and Margit never had a child of their own. Mama had suffered with illness and still worked to take care of her.
Ester stopped thinking and rubbed her head. Her head throbbed. She felt nauseous but she knew it was time. She had to accept that she couldn’t change anything now. She would write to her family. She would live her own life in America. And the first thing she would do was to move out of Astrid and Lars house.
She would find a place of her own. Ester sighed with satisfaction and took a deep breath. She couldn’t think anymore.
“Ester?” Mrs. Petters called from the other room.
“Yes, Mrs. Petters. I am here.” Ester answered. She got ready for her dressing down after being late this morning.
“Oh, good,” Mrs. Petters said as she entered the kitchen. “You are alright.” She walked up to Ester addressing her directly.
“Yes, Mrs. I am fine. The bread is baked and I have a list of groceries I need. I’m so sorry I was late this morning.” Ester said with her eyes looking down.
Mrs. Petters interrupted Ester’s apology. “Ester, I was worried about you. You are always so hard working. I thought something was wrong. I’m glad to see you are yourself. Now then, let’s go over the menus for this week. Professor Petters decided to have luncheon with the other Faculty today. You and I can have something while we make plans.”
“Tack, Mrs. You are so kind. I have some artssappa (split pea soup) to warm up and I can make some pannkahor (pancakes) with lingonberries.” Ester offered.
“That will be good. I will go over your list of groceries while you are preparing the food. Let’s just eat here in the kitchen.” Mrs. Petters chatted to Ester while she sat down at the kitchen table to look over the grocery list.
“Ester, we need to find some shrimp. I know it’s very dear, but Professor Petters so loves his smorgastarta (shrimp sandwich). When you get the herring from the Orrington Fish Market ask when they will get shrimp.”
Ester put the soup on the stove to warm while she stirred the batter for the pancakes. When the skillet was warm she poured the batter and set the bowls out for the soup and plates for the pancakes on the table. She also made fresh coffee for their meal. Ester was relieved that she didn’t have to worry about her job. She flipped the pancakes and then she poured the warm soup into the bowls and placed them on the table.
Mrs. Petters got up to get the silverware for the soups and placed the cloth napkins at each place. She said, “Ester, your artsappa smells so good.”
“Tack, Mrs. My mother taught me to make it with her special ingredients.” Ester smiled with relief. She knew she was very lucky to have such a good work place.
Mrs. Petters responded as they started to eat, “You must miss your mother being on your own so far away from home.”
“Sometimes I do, but I get letters often and I live with my mother’s best friend and her family here in Evanston.” Ester said looking tentatively at her.
“Ester, you seem hesitant about your living arrangements with your family friends. Are you not happy there?” She asked.
“No, no, I feel grateful to them but I would like to be on my own. It’s difficult for a single women to find inexpensive housing here without being worried about her reputation.”
Mrs. Petters laughed which surprised Ester. “Oh no, Ester I’m not laughing at what you said. I do know about what is expected of young ladies but we are living in a changing time. More women have professions and are working and living on their own. You are right though. There should be more housing for single women. In fact, now that I think of it, I know a family that owns a courtyard building on Sherman Avenue. Maybe they have something suitable for you in their building. Since we are near the university, there are more single woman who attend classes that need housing and they had talked with Professor Petters and I about their ideas for housing woman students. Let me talk to them for you.”
“Tack, Tack sa mycket, Mrs. I would be so grateful.” Ester responded with excitement.
“No bother, it would be good for us to have you closer.” Mrs. Petters smiled. “Here, I have marked the grocery list for you. I see you are getting to know the English words much better. Thank you for the good meal. Now I must get on with my day.” Mrs. Petters went on in her usual organized way.”
Ester finished the afternoon at the Petters and made her way to Chicago for her English class. She decided to walk down Sherman Avenue to downtown Evanston so she could look at the courtyard buildings before she would caught the streetcar on Chicago Avenue. Then she would have just enough time to stop at Garwood’s Drug Store on Davis Street to get some stationary for her letters and pick-up a Swedish newspaper to look at the listings for rooms to rent in case Mrs. Petters suggestion didn’t work out. She couldn’t wait to tell Elsa and Anya her plans.
Ester walked briskly along the sidewalks, past the tree covered streets and wide lawns. There was always something new to see in the growing Evanston community. New buildings were going up all along Sherman Avenue. Many new automobiles drove past her even though there were still horse carriages and wagons. Evanston’s wealthy population had easily adapted to the new automobile for their transportation. New jobs for chauffeurs and mechanics boomed in Evanston. Carriage houses became garages. Ester reveled in the possibilities for her future. Even though her heart ached, she knew she had to tuck that away to move ahead with her life.
Crossing east on Church Street to Chicago Avenue, Ester didn’t have long to wait until the next streetcar came by. Before long she was outside the Svea Club on Clark Street. She raced up the stairs to the English classroom hoping to find Elsa or Anya there before class started. She saw Elsa standing in the hallway outside the classroom door.
“Hej, Elsa”
Elsa turned, “Ester, How are you?”
“Elsa, I am so happy to see you!” Ester breathed a sigh of relief. “You know I have been worried about what to do with my daughter. I have made a decision. I’m going to write to my brother and accept his offer.
“Oh, Ester,” Elsa hugged her friend. “I know it was a hard decision for you.”
“What else could I do? I reminded myself, I had to think of all concerned. My brother and sister-in-law, my sister and mother and my baby girl. They are all better off without me making any more changes to their lives. I created this situation not them. I decided I would make it right for them.” Ester teared up.
“It will be all right.” Elsa comforted her. “We are here for you.”
“Tack, Tack. You are so kind.” Ester said.
More English students started coming down the hallway so Ester and Elsa moved into the classroom with them. They would wait to talk more after class.