Later that morning, everyone seemed unusually quiet around the breakfast table, but I tried not to read too much into that; no doubt we were all tired and thoughtful about going home.
I stared pensively into my coffee, feeling self-conscious about the bruises on my neck that I’d thankfully managed to conceal with make-up.
‘Damn,’ Daniel said suddenly, making me jump.
‘Everything OK?’ I tried to smile, but guilt made butterflies whirl in my stomach.
‘Yeah. I just remembered what I forgot.’ He chuckled, and I let out a slow sigh of relief. He didn’t look cross, just preoccupied.
‘What did you forget?’ I wished I could remember what my own mind had blotted out.
‘Nothing major. Just my washbag. I think I left it upstairs when I put our bags in the car. I should probably fetch it.’
‘No rush, is there? We can pick it up after—’
‘Be back in a minute.’ Abruptly, Daniel pushed back his chair, and stood up.
‘Damn. That reminds me.’ Bea set her cup back in its saucer. ‘You didn’t happen to notice if I left my necklace on the bedside table, did you?’ she asked Finley.
‘Sorry?’ Turning to her with shadowed eyes and a deep frown, Finley gave off the impression that he wouldn’t have noticed if Bea had waltzed downstairs stark naked.
‘My locket. Oh, don’t worry yourself. I’ll go and check myself, shall I?’
I looked between them, astonished to realise they still hadn’t made up. I wondered why, and whether it had anything to do with what might or might not have happened between Finley and me last night. So far, he hadn’t looked at me once. Not in an obvious look-anywhere-but-at-me kind of way. He simply ate his breakfast and drank his coffee.
Perhaps he’d forgotten what happened, too, I reflected. Or maybe nothing had. I was going out of my mind trying to decide if I was letting my imagination run away with me.
As Bea stalked across the dining room, following in Daniel’s footsteps, I thought of his surprising revelation that she’d been texting him; I wondered if she’d told him what her row with Finley had been about. He clearly knew something. I was hurt that Bea hadn’t confided in me and thought about following her, but it would look ridiculous if I left the table, too.
I wished I could, though; my heart was thumping so loudly, I was sure Finley must be able to hear it. I kept my eyes down, praying yet fearing he would say something – anything – about the night before, but he seemed glued to his phone.
‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ Suddenly, he thumped the table so hard, the cutlery rattled.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten something too,’ I joked awkwardly.
He turned to look blankly at me. ‘What?’
I nodded towards the stairs, in the direction Bea and Daniel had just disappeared.
‘Oh, right. No, I haven’t. But Tanya has. I told her I was taking today off. She’s only gone and booked an emergency board meeting.’
‘Sounds typical.’ I knew how demanding my former boss could be, and according to Bea, who still worked for her, she’d become even more so after her accident six months ago.
‘Sorry, Ruth. I’ll have to call her.’
‘Of course. No problem.’ Inwardly, I sighed in relief that he was leaving.
‘Don’t rush off, though,’ he added, frowning as he stood up. ‘I, um … I did want to chat to you about something, actually. Something important.’
‘Really?’ I shifted in my seat, feeling myself blush, but before I could formulate my panicky thoughts into a coherent question – Did we have sex last night? – Finley’s phone rang.
‘Tanya!’ he said brightly, faking enthusiasm as he answered the call. Giving me one last frown, he strode out of the dining room, iPhone pressed to his ear.
‘Dammit, Ruth, you should have just asked him.’
Anxiously, I worked my way through a second pot of coffee, and when the waiter offered to bring me another, I realised that if I drank any more, I’d burst. Assuring him that we’d return to settle the bill before we left, I headed for the stairs, a glance out of the window on the way up confirming that Finley was still engrossed in his phone call – a heated one, judging by the way he was pacing in circles around the hotel car park.
I wondered if Tanya was giving him a telling-off. At least he didn’t appear to be struggling with any morning-after guilt, which reassured me a little. Surely, if something had happened between us, he would be showing more remorse, or at least awkwardness? But, if anything, he seemed unusually aloof and distant.
‘Oh! Have I gone the wrong way?’ I jumped, startled to bump into Bea as I rounded the corner where I was expecting to find Daniel’s and my room. Then again, the last time I’d come this direction, I’d been drunk and Finley had been carrying me, I thought wryly.
‘No, it’s me.’ Bea stepped quickly around me. ‘Zero sense of direction. My room is this way. See you downstairs in a bit.’
‘Yes, sure. I won’t be long. Actually, I was hoping we could have a quick chat.’
Guiltily, I wondered if Finley had mentioned anything to her. My memory of last night was hazy, but I would still rather talk it over with Bea – even if she hadn’t confided in me about her fight with Finley. Whatever, she was my best friend. Although right now she seemed even more icily distant than Finley had at breakfast …
‘Not now, babe. Got to rush.’ Checking her appearance in a mirror on the wall, Bea patted her blonde curls, so like mine, before sashaying away from me, glancing back once, eyes glittering.
I stared after her thoughtfully for a moment, before carrying on to find my room at the end of the corridor and pushing open the heavy oak door. ‘Got everything?’ I asked Daniel.
‘What? Oh, yeah. Washbag was in the bathroom. Uh, did you forget something too?’
The old floorboards creaked beneath the worn floral carpet as he paced agitatedly up and down the room, one hand rubbing backwards and forwards across his short hair.
‘No. Just need the bathroom.’
‘Sure,’ Daniel said distractedly, fussing with the heavy pink damask bedspread now.
‘They do have people to make the bed and clean the room, you know?’ I teased.
‘What? Oh. Huh. Yeah, I know. Force of habit, I guess.’
‘Really?’ I chuckled. Tidiness wasn’t one of his strengths. ‘Feel free to bring that habit home and introduce it to our kitchen,’ I joked, perking up at the thought of being back in our cosy Greenwich home, just the two of us.
I couldn’t wait for life to get back to normal – to leave this horrible weekend behind. I’d known it was a mistake coming, but I had wanted so badly to prove to Daniel that I cared about him as much as having a baby. Needing a hug, I took a step towards him.
‘Anyway, see you downstairs,’ he said, quickly sidestepping me, just as Bea had moments before.
‘Oh. OK. Is everything all—’ But he was gone before I could finish my sentence. Frowning now, I hurried into the bathroom, where I blundered tiredly around, knocking over the bin. ‘Damn.’ I squatted down to gather up the spilled contents, and my heart started racing. ‘What the …?’
Tucked inside an empty packet of the hotel’s complimentary, individually wrapped cookies, I found a used condom. Horrified, I quickly buried it beneath a mountain of scrunched-up tissue. Burying my guilt proved a lot harder.
Either the condom belonged to Finley and I had been unfaithful, or it was Daniel’s – one of the stash I’d spotted in his washbag before we came – and he’d had sex with me while I’d been practically unconscious, bafflingly using contraception. Neither was a scenario I wanted to shout about. So I didn’t.
Perching on the side of the tub, I weighed up the damage a confession would do to my friendship with Bea, not to mention my marriage to Daniel. After much soul searching, I decided with a heavy heart that the whole thing was best put down to a bad night. I couldn’t actually remember a thing, and Finley wasn’t saying anything, which probably meant there was nothing to tell. No doubt it was all in my imagination.
The four of us split the bill for a breakfast none of us had eaten, said our goodbyes and headed off to our respective cars. And that was the last time we saw each other, until Bea and Finley unexpectedly moved to Richmond. But from that weekend onwards, nothing was ever the same between the four of us: our friendship had died.