Chapter Forty-Three

Alec maneuvered the door open, with Connie still in his arms, and strode into the lodge. He kicked the door closed with the heel of his boot before gently easing her from his arms to her feet.

He’d been trying to resist her for the longest time, and if he was honest with himself, he’d been doing so since she’d been a debutante and he’d seen her for the first time in years as she descended the stairs of the Merriweather ball. He could still picture exactly what she was wearing that night, how the bodice of her emerald silk gown fit her to perfection, and her hair pinned up high, with soft ringlets cascading down to frame her face.

He’d first heard the collective gasps around the room, and when he’d turned and seen her, an absolute vision for all to behold, his breath had caught in his chest, just like everyone else’s clearly had. His reaction had scared him, particularly after what he’d experienced with Elise only a few years prior. It was at that moment he knew she would be dangerous to the walls he’d erected around his heart, so he’d steeled himself against her and tried to find fault in practically everything she’d done.

No wonder they’d clashed so much back then.

But they weren’t clashing anymore.

Connie was staring at him with such hope and such nervousness, he suddenly very desperately didn’t want to let her down. Perhaps they shouldn’t do this? He didn’t think he’d ever be able to properly give her his heart. He didn’t think he’d be able to give it to anyone, so was it fair to go ahead and sleep with her, knowing that? “Perhaps this isn’t a goo—”

She reached up and placed a finger against his lips, effectively silencing him. “Stop trying to convince yourself this isn’t a good idea. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, Alec. And most especially not to me.” She smiled softly up at him and began to gently caress her fingertips across his cheeks. “I want you to make love to me. I want to know what it’s like to experience pleasure for once in my life. Don’t you want me?”

God, he wanted her. Desperately. Which was what he was afraid of.

“You know I do. But I want you to be sure, and I need you to know that I can’t promise you anything after. I don’t think I’m capable of giving much more apart from my loyalty.”

“I’m not asking for anything more from you.” Slowly her hands trailed down his chest and began to undo the buttons of his shirt, one at a time. “Tonight, with you, is what I want.”

“Are you certain?”

She smiled up at him. “More than I’ve ever been certain of anything before.”

And just like that, his resistance crumbled. The feel of her fingers brushing softly against his chest as they trailed lower and lower, inch by inch, was pure ecstasy. And as her hands brushed against his hard length, he couldn’t help but groan before leaning down and capturing her mouth in a searing kiss.

She tasted of honey and was warm and silky smooth. He couldn’t get enough. He deepened the kiss and flicked his tongue against hers. She moaned in response and mimicked his action. Alec had never tasted anything as good as Connie.

His hands reached around her back and began to untie the laces of her dress, until her gown pooled around her feet in a puddle of fabric. Then he undid the string of her crinoline.

She stepped out of the thing, and Alec quickly kicked it to the side. He feasted on the sight of her in her undergarments. She was so perfectly proportioned, with her beautiful peach-sized breasts cupped by her corset, and her tiny little waist and softly curving hips. All he wanted to do was bury himself in her.

He swept her up into his arms and carried her over to the four-poster bed positioned in the far corner of the room. He laid her carefully down on the mattress and then kicked off his boots before lying down beside her.

They kissed, on their sides, almost with a desperate sense of knowing this could be their one and only time together. But then Alec slowed the pace. He wanted to savor every inch of her. To remember this night with her, in detail, for the rest of his days.

He reached over and began to unlace the front of her corset. Inch by soft inch, her bosoms were revealed to his hungry gaze as the corset fell away. “You are so beautiful. So perfect,” he murmured as he pulled out the contraption from underneath her and tossed it to the floor. She was now in just her chemise and undergarments. His fingers brushed across the fabric and slowly pushed her chemise above her head, until she was lying there, her upper body bared to him.

But then he saw the yellow and brown bruises that marred her perfectly porcelain skin, all the way from her rib cage down to her waist. And as he peeled down her undergarments, he could see the bruises continued down onto her thighs, too. The sight made him ache for her. The pain and torment she’d had to endure was clearly evident by the mottled bruises all over her body.

“He did this to you?” Alec tried hard to keep the fury from his voice.

Connie crossed her arms over her chest, trying to cover herself up. Slowly she nodded. “Yes, the afternoon before the ball, he was upset with me.”

“And he used the tip of his boot to kick you, didn’t he?” It was not the first time he’d seen what the mark of a boot did when kicked into flesh.

“He did. I know they look ugly…” Her breath hitched in her throat. “And if you don’t want to do this anymore, I understand.”

“They’re not ugly at all.” He brushed his fingers against her cheek. “They are a testament to what you had to endure and what you survived.”

“They are?” She sounded so forlorn that all Alec wanted to do was grab her in his arms and hold her close.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “For the life of me, I have never been able to understand why some men think it’s even remotely acceptable to hit their wives. Those who do so are complete cowards. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Carefully, he moved her hands away from her chest, and slowly he began to gently kiss each and every one of her bruises, his mouth trailing a path from her ribs to her waist.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Constance,” he whispered against her skin. “Inside and out. And no bruises could ever change that.”

…

They were the sweetest words Connie had heard anyone say about her, and for once in her life, she was starting to realize the truth of them.

For years she’d had first her mother telling her she was never good enough, and then Duncan, but now with neither of their harsh voices dominating her inner dialogue, Connie was starting to see who she truly was as a woman and the strength she had within. And by God, she’d survived things many others had never had to experience, and she was stronger for it. She was a survivor and she was beautiful, inside and out, just as Alec said.

Not too long ago, she wouldn’t have believed him. She knew of course, externally she was pretty, but she’d always been terrified that there was nothing more to her. Though after everything she’d been through, combined with the fierce look of desire and need in his eyes, she definitely knew Alec believed it. And that he wanted her, desperately.

He kissed every inch of her skin, starting from her rib cage and ending on her thighs, and she definitely didn’t feel as ugly as when she’d looked in the mirror earlier that evening. In fact, the soft touch of his lips against her flesh was making her ache so completely that she all but forgot about her bruises.

At first, she’d felt completely vulnerable lying there naked in front of him, but seeing his reaction, and how he seemed to desire her more than ever, gave her courage.

Her body was craving his, urging her to press closer to him. She reached her hands underneath his shirt and pushed it fully from his torso. He was all hard lines and smooth planes of muscle. “If I’m naked, then I think it only fair that you are, too, Alec McGuiness.”

“Forgive me, my lady.” He winked at her and quickly reached down and unbuttoned his trousers, then pulled them off. He swiftly removed his undergarments, too, until he was as naked as she was.

He was the most marvelous specimen of a man she’d ever seen. Bronzed skin and muscles everywhere. All she could think of was running her hands across every single inch of him. And Good Lord, his manhood was all but thrumming, begging her to touch the hard silkiness of him.

Thinking she’d have to work up the courage to touch him there, she started to skim her hands across the broad expanse of his chest first and wound her fingers over his nipples. She began softly rubbing them between her fingers and was rewarded when Alec groaned.

Then he did the same with hers, teasing and tormenting her nipples until they were taut little peaks before moving his mouth to cover one of them. She sucked in a sharp breath and arched her back, urging more of her breast into his mouth. The feel of his lips and tongue caressing her nipple was unlike anything she’d experienced before.

It was wicked. It was delicious. It was wanton.

He lifted his mouth from her breast, and she whimpered.

“Please don’t stop,” she begged him.

He chuckled lightly as he continued to trail kisses over the cleft between her breasts, until his mouth engulfed her other nipple and began sucking it, flicking his tongue against the hard bud while his hand cupped her other breast, his thumb rubbing across the nipple. She twisted her fingers in his hair and pressed him even tighter to her breast as his mouth feasted on her flesh.

Alec settled next to her, one of his thighs pressing between her legs. Connie couldn’t help herself, she began rubbing the very center of herself against him, back and forth, over and over again. The pressure in her began to build unbearably as her body begged for release.

He lifted his head from her breast and traced kisses up her neck until he captured her mouth with his own, all the while Connie continued to rub her sex up against his thigh. She could feel the dampness between her thighs, and a tingling sensation pulsed and began to build to unbearable heights within her.

“That’s it, my darling, rub against me until you reach your peak,” Alec murmured.

And just when Connie thought she couldn’t stand it anymore, her whole body clenched tight as wave after wave of pleasure cascaded through her every cell.