Chapter Nineteen

A High and a Low

The day of the ball, rain pelted the roof and windows of Àverness Palace. Rose tugged on a sunflower-yellow dress to counterbalance the bleh. When she exited the dining room after an argumentative breakfast with her mother, she found Lorena waiting for her, neat and prim in a lavender blazer and matching skirt. Lorena smiled at her, and Rose’s insides somersaulted. Good morning to me.

Rose took Lorena’s hand and brought her knuckles to her lips. “I had an idea for something fun you and I could do today.”

Lorena’s cheeks darkened.

Rose grinned. “That’s not what I was referring to, but I’m not counting it out.”

Lorena laughed. “Okay, what, then?”

“You might want to put on something more casual.” Rose pulled an oversized umbrella out from the umbrella holder by the door. “A stroll in the rain sounded lovely to me.”

So Lorena changed into a warm blouse and dark slacks and rainboots, and the two of them cuddled under the umbrella as they headed out into the palace grounds. Rain pattered all around them, a freshness in the air. Mud stuck to their boots. Rose lasted mere minutes before she skipped out from under the safety of the umbrella and laughed in the rain, spinning in circles with her arms spread wide. “Isn’t it beautiful out?”

Lorena smiled at her softly. “Gorgeous.”

They walked around the entire palace and through the orchard until they reached a white gazebo in the center. Rosamund stepped up onto the platform and leaned against a column to admire the rows of pear trees that sprawled in all directions, their leaves trembling in the rain. “This is my favorite spot in the orchard.” I’ve never shown anyone this before, she was too nervous to add.

Lorena followed her into the gazebo and shook the water off the umbrella. “It’s a beautiful view, and a cute little place. Did they build it for you, or was it already here?”

“It was here. Callum found it one day when he was riding through, and he showed me.”

“And in turn, you show all the pretty ladies?” Lorena teased.

Rose swallowed. It’s a joke. And yet it wasn’t. “No,” she said finally. “I’ve never shown it to anyone else. It was my private spot where I got away from everything.”

“And now there’s even more on you,” Lorena said quietly.

With a sigh, Rose sat on the bench. “I’m doing my best, in my own way, and it’s never enough. Nothing has ever been enough.”

“You’re doing great.” Lorena sat beside her. “I mean, I could name a mistake or two, but we all slip up sometimes.”

“You don’t.”

“I do. I just don’t have the eyes of the world on me when it happens.”

“And in the eyes of the world, and my mum, I’ll never be anything more than stupid Rowdy Rosamund.” Rose scowled. “Never mind that it was all for Callum. No, there’s nothing I could ever possibly manage to get right or have good intentions about.”

Lorena hesitated. “It was all for Callum?”

“Of course it was!” Rose threw her hands in the air. “He hates being in the news, but as crown prince, he’d have been all over the tabloids if I weren’t so loud and obnoxious. They’d have some dreadful nickname for him; they’d be speculating on every aspect of his life; they’d be following him around looking for juicy gossip. I took on the role of Headliner Princess so he could do his work without having to constantly check over his shoulder for the paparazzi. They aren’t interested in him if I’m somewhere nearby being dramatic. He got to be calm and quiet and responsible, the way he likes, and I…” The words caught up with her, and she swallowed hard. He got to do his job, and I got to look like an idiot. “I took the fall for him. The pratfall.”

Watching her carefully, Lorena took Rose’s hand and laced their fingers together. “It’s not a pratfall if it means something. And it does mean something.”

“Does it though? If my own mother can’t see it? My own brother?”

“I see it,” Lorena whispered. “I see you.”

Rose pulled her in and kissed her, deep and eager and wanting. She was still dripping from her spin in the rain, but Lorena pulled her flush against her, regardless of the wet. Rose heated from the inside, itching to get even closer. Lorena’s palms skated over Rose’s body, mapping out the curves, leaving burning paths in their wake.

Burning up inside, Rose hiked up her skirt and clambered onto Lorena’s lap, her knees bumping against the gazebo bench. She untwisted Lorena’s ponytail holder and eased it off until her thick black hair flowed loose and free and beautiful, then laced her fingers through that hair and kissed her again. Lorena moaned and ran her hands up Rose’s back and into her hair.

Rose’s fingertips crept underneath Lorena’s shirt and found bare skin. She smoothed her palms upward, relishing the dip of waist, until she cupped Lorena’s breasts, and Lorena pressed herself into Rose’s touch. Rose flicked the pads of her thumbs over Lorena’s nipples, bringing the peaks to life in seconds; Lorena whimpered, and Rose purred her approval.

Rose peeled her dress up and over her head and flung it aside, hoping to encourage Lorena to do the same with her shirt, because God, she’d do anything to see her in lingerie again. Then Lorena did, and fuck, she was glorious in a shimmering nude bralette with tiny bits of glitter woven throughout the lace. She slipped her hands underneath Rose’s bright yellow bra and Rose gasped, actually gasped, when Lorena began to massage her breasts. With a shiver she leaned into the touch, and Lorena kissed her way down Rose’s jawline until she swirled her tongue over her nipple and sucked.

“Oh my God,” Rose gasped, arching into the touch. She gripped Lorena’s shoulders, vibrating with want, and ground down on her thigh in a search for friction.

Lorena laved Rose’s other nipple in turn and raised her thigh to rub up against Rose’s center.

Rose moaned. “Och, that’s so good.”

Lorena flipped her to lay her down on the gazebo bench, bent over her, and kissed her deeply.

Rose dug her nails into Lorena’s bare skin, and her hips arched upward, begging to be touched. Lorena explored downward again, and Rose’s skin tingled with anticipation at every kiss. Lorena lingered at the curve of her breast, and Rose urged, “Leave a mark.”

Lorena raised an eyebrow but didn’t say no. “You’re sure?”

“Yesss, love, yes.”

Lorena bit down lightly on the side, then sucked hard. Rose writhed with pleasure at the sharp sensation. When Lorena finally released the skin, Rose’s lips curved. A purple-pink love bite was forming, a visual reminder that Lorena had been there. That Rose was Lorena’s.

Her breath shuddered in her throat.

She’d never been anyone’s before, not really. She’d never wanted to be. But maybe with Lorena…

“You okay?” Lorena brushed her lips against Rose’s throat.

“Aye. More than okay.” Rose tilted her head up and kissed Lorena fully.

Maybe with Lorena it’ll be all right.

*

The ball would be starting in an hour. Glancing around to make sure she was alone, Lorena knocked quietly on Rose’s suite door.

“Come in,” Rose called from inside.

Lorena opened the door and stopped short. Rose glittered—literally glittered—in a floor-length purple ball gown that screamed royalty. Her blonde hair curled in loose ringlets. A diamond-studded tiara topped her head, and tulle drapes fell from her arms. On instinct, Lorena sank into a deep, respectful curtsy. “Your Royal Highness.”

Rose blushed. “Get up. Oh my God.”

Lorena drew near, not daring to touch the goddess in front of her. “You look tremendous. Wow.”

“Thank you.” Rose smiled. “Are you ready?”

Ready? Lorena cocked her head. “For what?”

Rose tapped her playfully on the arm as if she were kidding. “To go public with our relationship, obviously. I’m supposed to announce my choice tonight, and there’s no one else for me but you. Just checking in on how you’re feeling about it.”

Lorena’s stomach sank. It couldn’t be time for that already. Her company, her whole life in America…she’d have to leave them behind. “I don’t know.”

Rose crinkled her nose. “What do you mean, you don’t know? Everything’s been leading up to this.”

“I—I know.” Lorena hesitated. “If we go public with this, I’ll have to give up my whole life. Everything. I don’t know. It’s a scary concept.”

Rose took her hands and squeezed them lightly. “Don’t worry, love. If I can do the royal thing, anyone can.”

“That’s not a fair comparison though.” Lorena pulled her hands away. “You haven’t been doing ‘the royal thing’—at least, not for most of your life. Not until recently.”

Rose’s brow furrowed. “Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

It had come out harsher than Lorena had meant it, but it wasn’t wrong. “Let’s be honest. You’ve spent your adult life swanning around, doing what you wanted, playing at being Rowdy Rosamund. Not preparing to rule a country. Callum was the one doing all the official heir business.”

Rose glowered. “So what’s your point?”

“My point is it’s not as easy as you seem to think it is.”

“Easy?” Rose sputtered. “Easy? Who the fuck said any of this was easy? I was only saying it can be done—”

“Maybe I don’t want to be stuck with ‘can be done.’ Maybe I’d rather stick with what I’m good at. What I know.” Lorena touched her loose hair self-consciously.

“You don’t have to be scared,” Rose protested. “I know it’s a lot. Believe me, no one gets it like the person who tried to avoid it all for a decade. But you’ll have me, and I’ll have you. We’ll be together.”

Scared? Lorena scoffed. “I’m not the one who’s scared. I’m trying to be realistic.”

“Wait, so you’re saying I’m scared?”

“Of course you’re scared. You’re too afraid to show the world your real self. You’d rather play a role to entertain people than be vulnerable. Isn’t that the entire purpose of Rowdy Rosamund, if we’re honest? It’s not for your brother. It’s to keep people at a distance.”

“Wait a second.” Expression stormy, Rose held up a hand. “Let’s not throw stones about keeping people at a distance, shall we? The Miss Priss persona is your way of making sure no one sees the real you either. So don’t come at me. We take different paths to the same destination; that’s all.”

Lorena crossed her arms. “I’m not pushing people away. It’s called being professional.”

“It’s called bullshit, love,” Rose said sweetly. “You forget, I know you now. The hurts you try to hide? I’ve seen them.”

“It’s been a month. You don’t know me that well.”

“I know you well enough to want to pick you over all the suitors you and my mum have thrown my way.” Rose softened. “I don’t want to fight. I want you. I want you to pick me too.”

Lorena looked away, her arms still tightly folded over her chest. It was too much, too soon. How was this fair?

Rose stepped forward. Took Lorena’s hands again, her grip gentle and warm. “Pick me, Lorena.”

The room spun around Lorena, and she struggled to stay upright. What kind of a choice was this? Her whole life hung in the balance. Everything she knew was in the States. Her family, her friends, the business she’d built from the ground up. Ìovoria was one giant unknown. Dating Rose meant dating the entire country. The world even. Dating the paparazzi. How was she, a normal woman from rural Virginia, supposed to keep up with a life like that?

She wasn’t. She couldn’t.

“Lorena,” Rose whispered, “please.”

But Lorena gently withdrew her hands from Rose’s. Wringing her fingers, she stepped back. “I can’t,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I can’t do it. I pick my current life. Choose someone else tonight.”

Rose recoiled. “No, you—you don’t mean it.”

Lorena blinked away the burning in her eyes. “This can’t go on any longer. It’s keeping us both from our life paths.”

“But what if our life path is each other?”

Lorena shook her head. “I think we’re kidding ourselves if we think this can be anything more than what it has been.”

“And what’s that?” Rose demanded, her voice shaking.

Time to go in for the kill. “Just another one of your flings, Rowdy Rosamund.”

Rose’s eyes flared. “Get out.” She pointed roughly at the door.

Lorena pivoted on her kitten heels and let herself out of Rose’s suite, closing the door behind her, but not before she heard a tiny, heartbroken “fuck” from the princess she cared so deeply for.

Lorena’s heart rose in her throat. Go back in there and apologize. But she forced herself to keep walking, to not look back. It was necessary, she told herself, even as her own heart broke along with Rose’s.