Bella found herself humming a Christmas carol the following morning as she sat at her computer at the day care center. The holiday was still weeks away, but timing didn’t dampen her mood. Nor did the statistics she was examining and organizing for a year-end report.
The photo shoot yesterday had gone extremely well. She loved the work she’d done. She’d been up late editing the photos, emailing files to Jazzy. Already this morning they’d gone back and forth in emails, and Jazzy had chosen seven of the photos she liked the best to use for her pamphlet. She was going to use others on her website. She’d told Bella when she had it updated, she’d let her know.
When Hudson had asked Bella if she minded if he dropped by to watch the shoot, she’d worried that he’d be a distraction. But he hadn’t been. She’d liked having him there, sharing in the experience. His ideas were often good ones—like viewing the photos on the big-screen TV. The admiration in his eyes when he’d looked at her had almost made her tear up. She hadn’t felt that kind of admiration in a very long time...if ever.
What if Hudson knew about her past? What if he knew she’d mistaken a hungry look in a teenage boy’s eyes as love? What if he knew she’d gotten pregnant?
What if he knew she couldn’t have children?
The statistics on her computer monitor seemed to blur for a moment. Hudson didn’t need to know any of that, did he? After all, he’d said himself that he’d be leaving Rust Creek Falls. But a little voice inside her heart asked, And what if you do get involved with him?
The idea had been growing in momentum. It had even taken over many of her dreams. Every time she thought about the two of them together, really together, she had to struggle to push the thoughts and images away. But at night, her subconscious went wild. She woke up wanting his arms around her, needing his arms around her. But then like dreams do, they faded into reality. Her common sense prevailed, and she warned herself to keep her distance, or at least not let anything progress beyond a kiss.
However, Hudson’s kisses were unforgettable.
As if she’d conjured him up by thinking about her dreams, he appeared at her desk. “I’ve been thinking,” he said.
She gave him a smile, not knowing what was coming. “I thought I saw smoke coming from your office,” she said with a straight face.
He gave her a mock scowl. “That smoke you saw was my coffeepot biting the dust. It’s time I buy a single-serve brewer for in there. Any flavor you like best? I’d be willing to share.”
The twinkle in his eyes told her he’d like to share more than coffee. She shook her head. “Break room coffee is fine with me.”
“Until I give you Death by Chocolate to taste,” he teased. “Just you wait.”
She couldn’t look away from his eyes, and she didn’t want to. It would be so easy to get lost in Hudson and the sparks they generated...in a fire that could consume her. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“So what have you been thinking about?” she asked, getting the conversation back on track.
“I’ve been thinking about using your photography skills as a moneymaker for the day care center.”
She tilted her head, interested.
He could obviously see that because he went on. “How would you like to take photos of moms and their babies? It would be quite a keepsake for them, plus a good promotional tool for the day care center. We can put together a child care book where we lay out the photos with parent tips. I’m sure the mothers would have plenty of those. You’ve seen those community cookbooks? This would be something like that. Your photos would give it that aaah factor.”
“It sounds ambitious, but I’d love to participate in it.”
Hudson looked thoughtful. “We could do the photos after hours, or we could commandeer the corner of one of the classrooms. Moms can stop in whenever they like, and you could make it a priority to take the photos.”
“Mothers love to be photographed with their kids. I think it would be easy to convince them.”
“I’d like to have it all put together by Valentine’s Day,” he suggested.
“That’s quick.”
“I know. The owner of one of the ranches I worked at self-published a history of the ranch. I helped him with it. There’s a formatter I can contact. I would trust your eye on the basic layout. If we shoot the photos between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, it’s possible.”
“I should send out an email to the parents to explain the project and encourage them to get on board. I can write something up right now and have it to you after lunch for approval.”
Hudson was again pensive for a few moments. She studied his expression, the character lines on his face, the way his hair waved across his brow. Standing at her desk, he towered over her and seemed larger than life. His chest was broad, his forearms muscular beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his snap-button shirt. There was strength in those forearms, and she became distracted by the curling brown hair that covered them. Just looking at him, any part of him, sent her pulse racing.
She didn’t know how long he’d been talking when his words finally broke through her thoughts. “I don’t want you to go to extra work if this isn’t going to fly. I’ll give Walker a call or text him. After I run it by him, I’ll let you know if it’s a go.”
“It’s a wonderful idea, Hudson. It really is. You deserve a new coffeepot.”
At that he laughed, gave her a little wave and went back to his office. Her heart was still pitter-pattering when she turned back to her computer.
* * *
Hudson was eating leftovers from a casserole Greta had prepared when Walker breezed into the day care center and his office later that day.
“That smells good,” Walker said, motioning to the chicken-and-broccoli casserole that Hudson had warmed up in the microwave in the break room. “I don’t imagine you made it.”
“Greta made it. She doesn’t let me starve.”
“You settled into a good deal there. Not only horses but home cooking.”
“In a way, it feels like home, more than our home ever did.”
Walker gave him a surprised look. “In what way?”
“I like going there after a day here at work, or after a ride. I look forward to it.”
Walker glanced around the office and the rest of the day care center. Hudson knew his brother had gone into the business because he wanted kids to have a safe, caring place to stay while their parents worked. Their own childhood with nannies who were overseeing them only because of a great salary was probably one of the reasons.
The lawsuit Walker had been involved in had also given him a new perspective. He was setting up a foundation, The Just Us Kids Pediatric Pulmonary Center, for children who need specialized medical care.
Walker returned his attention to Hudson. “So you wanted to talk to me about a scheme to make money?”
“It’s not a scheme, it’s a project.” Hudson kept the defensiveness out of his voice. He was prepared with Bella’s photos. He spread them across the desk, faced Walker and explained exactly what he had in mind.
“It would help if we could get some kind of child care expert to give quotes, too,” Hudson suggested.
Walker seemed to think about all of it. “I’m surprised you came up with this.”
Walker’s comment irked Hudson. Yes, Walker was the CEO type, the business-oriented brother, but Hudson knew he had good ideas, too, just in a different vein.
After Walker took another look at the photos, and at the schedule Hudson had devised along with the cost estimate, his brother nodded. Then he stared at Hudson as if he were seeing him in a different way.
“I have one question,” Walker said. “Will you be staying until the project is finished?”
Hudson considered his brother’s question. He also considered Bella and spending more time with her. “Sure, I can stay until it’s finished.”
That seemed to settle everything in Walker’s mind. “Go ahead,” he said. “Get it started. It will be good for the day care center. It’s something the other franchises could pick up and do. We could even sell it on the biggest ebook seller there is. Child care tips can be relevant to moms across the country. Quite a moneymaker you’ve thought up here.” He extended his hand to Hudson. “Good job.”
Hudson shook his brother’s hand, feeling a connection with him he hadn’t felt in a long time.
After Walker left, Hudson told Bella the good news. “He feels it will be a good moneymaking project and that the idea will catch on with the other franchises. He thinks we might even be able to sell it through a nationwide channel.”
Bella’s face was all smiles. She threw her arms around Hudson’s neck and gave him a huge hug.
The impulsive gesture made him catch his breath, which only made it worse for him as he took in the scent of her perfume or shampoo or whatever smelled like flowers and Bella. He couldn’t help but tighten his arms around her, and for just a few moments, she tightened her arms around him. He could feel she was breathing fast, and so was he. He wanted to bury his nose in her hair, kiss her temple and more. But she leaned away, moved her hands to his chest and looked up at him. He had to give her time. He had to give her the opportunity to come to the realization on her own that they’d be good together. One thing he was sure of—he couldn’t push Bella, or she’d run. He didn’t know why. He wished he did.
As if she were suddenly embarrassed, she pulled out of his arms. “I’m so happy about this. I know it’s not the same as professional credits, but if I wanted to do more of this photography work, I’d have a strong recommendation.”
“You might want to change what you study at college when you go back,” he offered.
She looked pensive. “You might be right. On the other hand, maybe I could have a major in business administration and take photography classes, too. The best of both worlds.”
Wasn’t that what everybody wanted, the best of the worlds they chose? He felt as if he had one foot in an old world and one foot in a new one. He knew the old world brought him satisfaction, and he was comfortable in it. A new world? That was always a risk. But was it a risk he wanted to take?
Bella gave him a look that said she didn’t know if she should say what she was thinking, but then she seemed to make up her mind. “I couldn’t help but notice you and Walker shaking hands as if you meant it.”
“That’s a novelty?” he joked.
“You have to get along for business’s sake, I suppose. But you’ve never seemed...close.”
“He really doesn’t know what I’ve done on past jobs when I’ve worked at ranches. I guess he thinks I only wrangle calves.”
“You don’t talk about it?”
“Don’t you know cowboys are men of few words?” Again he was teasing, but she seemed to take him seriously.
“Few words, maybe. But if they’re the right words, they count.”
“You and Jamie are different from me and my brothers. Maybe as kids we commiserated and told each other secrets but not as adults.”
“That’s a shame. But miles do make a difference. When I was at college, Jamie and I didn’t talk as much or often.”
“Distance can be a wedge,” he agreed.
She said brightly, “But you and Walker are here now. Maybe you’ll have a new start.”
“Maybe,” he agreed, wondering if that could be true. After all, the holidays were coming up. Weren’t they the time for a new start, or a deepening of what was already there?
Bella glanced at the clock on the wall. “I told Sarah I’d help her with an art project with her class. Her aide is out this morning.”
Hudson nodded. “And I have that meeting with the pageant director, Eileen Bennet, over at the school this afternoon.”
“Let me know how it goes,” she said as she stepped out into the hall, giving him one of those smiles that seemed to make his heart turn sideways. He stared at her until she stepped into Sarah’s classroom.
Then he looked back down at the photographs he’d printed out that were still spread across his desk. Walker had really studied them and admitted they were as great as Hudson thought they were. If Bella needed credentials to get more photography work, maybe he could help her out. He took out his cell phone and checked his contacts list. Yep, there it was. Miles Stanwick. He was the owner of a few galleries, including one in Kalispell. His headquarters, however, were in Billings. That was the great thing about cell phones. No matter where Miles was, Hudson could reach him. After two rings, Miles answered.
“Hi there, Hudson. Are you in Billings?”
“No, I’m in Rust Creek Falls. I’ve been taking care of business for Walker here.”
“Your dad has always been one of my best clients. What can I do for you?”
“You scout out new talent, don’t you?”
“I do, but I have a lot of fresh painters right now. What do you have?”
“How about photographers?”
Miles seemed to think about it. “With point-and-shoot digitals, everybody’s a photographer these days. But I’m always on the lookout for something special.”
“I think these photos are special, but I don’t have a gallery owner’s eye. Would you consider taking a look at them?”
“I’m getting into my busy season. But sure, I can spend fifteen minutes looking over photos. Do you have my email address?”
“I do. I can send you the digital files, but I also printed them out. I think you’ll see they really come to life in the glossies. I can overnight them.” After Miles gave him the Billings address, he asked, “If you feel the photos have merit, do you think you’ll be able to place a few?”
“If they have merit, I can always make a place for them.” He paused a second, then asked, “If you’re working on business for Walker, then you’re not traveling much, I take it?”
“Not right now.”
“Well, if you’re still in Rust Creek Falls when I come over to Kalispell for the holidays, I’ll give you a call. Maybe we can have dinner.”
“Sounds good. And thanks, Miles. I really appreciate this.”
After he ended the call, Hudson gathered up the photos. He’d email Miles the digital photos, then he’d package up the glossies and mail them on his way to the school for his meeting.
He really did think the photos were something special. He hoped Miles did, too.
He decided to keep the whole gallery query a surprise. After all, he didn’t want Bella to be disappointed if nothing came of it. For now she would be happy photographing moms and babies.
An hour later, before he left for his meeting with the pageant director, he went looking for Bella. He wanted to make sure she didn’t need anything before he left. He found her in Sarah Palmer’s classroom, where she was still helping with the art project, and what a project it was.
The four-year-olds were having a stupendous time with the art supplies. They were gluing and coloring without knowing they were practicing hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills. Sarah concentrated on that with every art project as well as burgeoning young talent. There were turkey heads and feathers cut out of construction paper, and feet, too, made of some fuzzy cord. Bella and Sarah were helping the children paste them all down on a plate that served as the turkey’s body. The kids talked and laughed as they wielded crayons as if they were true artists, drawing faces on the plates.
Tommy, one of Hudson’s favorites, pushed back his chair and came running over to him. “Mr. Hudson, Mr. Hudson, look at what I’m doing.”
His turkey had black eyes and a mouth, and Tommy was coloring his body purple.
Hudson crouched down to Tommy’s eye level. “So you’ve seen purple turkeys?”
Tommy looked at his turkey and the pictures of turkeys that Sarah had attached to the bulletin board.
“I didn’t see a purple turkey,” Tommy admitted. “But there could be purple turkeys.”
At that Hudson laughed out loud. Anything was a possibility in a child’s mind.
Hearing his laughter, Bella looked up. Their gazes met and Hudson could swear he felt the room shake. But no feathers scattered, mock or otherwise, so he knew it was his imagination. Purple turkeys could give a man delusions.
The curly-headed blonde four-year-old next to Bella tapped on her arm. Hudson remembered her name was May.
“Miss Bella, I made a mistake. My line went crooked.”
Hudson walked over to where Bella was seated, and he could tell the little girl’s picture was supposed to resemble a house. A purple turkey. A house in a turkey’s tummy. What was the difference? he supposed.
Bella rested her arm around May’s shoulders. “A crooked line doesn’t have to be a mistake. Let’s look at what you’re trying to do.” She gave the plate a quarter turn. “What if we made your crooked line part of the fence that goes around the house? Sometimes they’re straight and sometimes they’re crooked. Your line will fit right in.”
“But it can’t be red. Red is for the bricks on the house,” May insisted.
Bella picked up a brown crayon. “Here, give this a try on top of the red. It will make it look just like wood.”
May did as Bella suggested and then looked up at her. “It does.”
“You’ll have a fine fence there,” Hudson encouraged her. “I see you have a house with a second floor. Does it have windows on the second floor?”
No windows were showing now.
May put her finger to her lips, and then her eyes sparkled. “My house has windows. I can put in windows.”
Bella said to May, “You work on that for a little while. I’ll be right back.” She pushed her chair away from the table and stood.
Even so, Hudson was still a head taller. For some reason, Bella made him feel ten feet tall. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was just this “thing” between them. He felt their breathing almost synchronized as they stared at each other. He wasn’t sure why that happened when he thought about kissing her, but it did.
How could he think about kissing her when they were in the middle of a room with four-year-olds?
He waved at the table and the projects spread out everywhere. “Do you think you’ll ever get this cleaned up?”
“Maybe with the custodian’s help,” she joked. “But it’s amazing how little ones like to help when you ask them. They’ll pick up their scraps.”
“Their feathers, you mean?” Hudson said with a straight face.
“So you got sucked into a world of purple turkeys and green feathers?”
He laughed. “It’s hard to resist. Maybe that’s why I like being around the kids so much. It makes the real world go away.”
“Or they take you back to when you were four.”
“I don’t even remember when I was four.”
“I bet if you and your brothers got together you would. No clubhouse, jungle gym, forts made out of a blanket on the sofa?”
“Are you kidding? A blanket on the sofa? Our mother would have called the maid.”
Bella blinked. “I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“You grew up very differently than I did.”
What Bella meant was, he’d grown up with money. Yes, his family had been wealthy. There had been maids and housekeepers and nannies.
“Maybe I did,” he said. On the other hand, though, maybe their worlds hadn’t been so different after all. “But that fort you speak of...my brothers and I escaped to the woodpile now and then and rearranged it. It was a grand fort. What my mother didn’t know didn’t hurt her.”
Bella studied him. And maybe in the atmosphere with four-year-olds around, and Sarah not too far away, she felt brave to delve into his life a bit because she asked, “How else did you escape?”
“Riding did it the most, or just wandering the pasture with the horses. How about you? How did you escape?”
“Books. Books took me anywhere I wanted to go, with anyone I wanted to be with. They still do. When I get the chance to settle down with one.”
One of the kids dumped a canister of crayons onto the table. The scattering noise took Bella’s attention for a moment. Then she asked, “Are you leaving now?”
“I am. I just wanted to remind you to call me if you need anything.”
“Will do. And if I may, I’d like to remind you of something. With the pageant being held the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we don’t have a lot of time to get costumes together. I’m definitely not a seamstress, and I don’t know if any of the teachers are. So if we have to do any type of costumes, we need to keep it simple.”
Hudson nodded. “I’ll talk to Eileen about that. You should definitely sit in on the next meeting. Or maybe you should be going instead of me.”
“I can go to the next one if you’d like me to. We’ll have to get permission slips from parents, work up the PR for the kids being in the pageant and get that out in emails and on the website so the parents know exactly what we’re doing, too.”
“All good points.”
Tommy waved his turkey at Hudson. Hudson went over to the four-year-old and pointed to the turkey’s neck. It was still white. “Are you going to color that?”
“Maybe I’ll make his neck red.”
“You’ll have a colorful turkey,” Hudson proclaimed with a straight face.
“Maybe Miss Sarah will hang mine up high so everybody can see it.”
Bella came to stand beside Hudson. “She’s going to hang everyone’s turkeys so when your parents come to pick you up, they’ll see what a good job you did.”
“And we can take them home for Thanksgiving?”
“Yes, you can.”
Thanksgiving. Hudson still had no idea what he was doing for the holiday next week. He supposed Bella was planning to spend it with Jamie. Maybe in their next conversation he’d ask her. He’d spent many holidays alone, and he’d told himself he liked it that way. Memories of long-ago holidays were faded and ghostly. He almost had a hard time imagining what a real holiday would be like surrounded by family and friends he actually cared about, and who cared about him.
He should be more grateful about what he’d had growing up. After all, look at everything Bella had lost.
“Is something the matter?” she asked him.
He was going to say no, but decided to tell the truth. “I was just thinking about holidays and families and expectations that aren’t usually fulfilled. Look at these kids’ faces when they study their turkeys. They’re totally in the present. Maybe somehow that’s what we have to do to appreciate Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
“When you learn how to do that, you let me know,” she responded, then added, “Maybe this year the triplets will teach me their secret.”
“I’m always open to hearing secrets,” he said.
Bella looked startled for a moment, and then she backed away from him. “I’ll see you later,” she told him. “I have to get back to pasting on those feathers.”
The word secret seemed to have spooked Bella. He supposed no one got to adulthood without a few of them.
Just what was Bella Stockton’s secret?