CHAPTER 5

When Lily woke, she was trembling and drenched in perspiration. Clambering wearily out of bed, she dressed quietly, so as not to wake her mother and sister and then tiptoed out to the yard.

Quickly she splashed her face with water from the pail, hoping it would cool her fevered thoughts as well as her skin. Hurrying past the linney to the barn, she grabbed a handful of straw to quieten Doris whilst she hitched up the cart. Then, anxious to be away before anyone woke, she snatched up the reins and urged the reluctant donkey out into the cool air and onto the rutted track.

Although her conscience was troubling her, she needed to think things through before facing Aunt Elizabeth and Robert. She knew they expected her to put family duty before her own wishes. But then, like most of the county, they believed Squire Clinsden to be an honourable man. And he could be charming when he got his own way, which he usually did as few people dared to cross him for fear of losing their livelihoods and the homes that went with them.

Preoccupied with her thoughts, she’d just reached the narrowest part of the track, when a chestnut stallion came galloping straight towards her. Tugging on the leather straps to avoid a collision, she glared at the rider as he thundered by. But just as she opened her mouth to shout after him, he reined in his horse and trotted back towards her. As soon as she saw those hazel eyes glinting, her stomach dipped to her toes and the words died on her lips. It was as if her dream had conjured him up.

‘Well, what a surprise. If it isn’t young Lily,’ the squire said, tipping his hand to his hat in salute, while his mocking smile sent shivers of revulsion sliding down her spine.

‘Squire Clinsden,’ she acknowledged, gathering up the reins ready to urge the donkey on.

‘How opportune, Lily. I take it your mother has told you of my generous offer?’ he asked pleasantly, but she saw the hard set of his jaw and wasn’t fooled for one moment.

‘My mother’s in no fit state to deal with anything, let alone the shock of learning she’s to lose her home,’ Lily retorted. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be late for work if I don’t hurry.’

‘Ah, yes. That’ll be for Mrs Bodney,’ he stated. She stared at him in surprise. Then, remembering her aunt had told him about her job, she realized this was no accidental meeting at all.

To her dismay, he dismounted and moved closer until she could feel the heat emanating from his body. He smelled of sweat and stale liquor, and she shivered as he put one hand on the cart, preventing her from moving on.

‘Of course, your work there is only temporary whereas the position I’m offering could be permanent,’ he said, raising a wiry eyebrow suggestively. As his eyes dropped to her chest, her throat tightened like a wound bobbin. Hastily, she readjusted her shawl, which had slipped from her shoulders when she’d yanked the reins. ‘I’ve been impressed by the conscientious way you’ve cared for your family since the sad demise of your father.’

‘Sad demise?’ She heard her voice rising and took a deep breath. ‘Father never stood a chance. That building was on your land and had needed seeing to for years. He told your agent every time he called for the rent. It was an accident waiting to happen, everyone knows that.’

Ignoring her remark, the squire continued, ‘You’re a dutiful young woman, so I’m sure you’ll wish to ensure your family continue to have a roof over their heads. As I explained to them, the accommodation I’m offering is much better than the cottage they have at present.’ He paused, smirking at her with the air of a lion playing its prey. But she was no mouse and had no intention of rising to his bait.

Forcing a smile, she said, ‘The wellbeing of my family is my main concern, sir, you can be sure of that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must be on my way. Mrs Bodney will be waiting.’ Ignoring the podgy hand resting on the cart, she urged the donkey onwards. The squire’s caustic laugh followed her, but she didn’t look back.

‘Be sure we’ll meet again soon, young Lily, for there’s nothing I love better than breaking in a spirited filly. Remember I always get what I want, one way or another,’ he shouted after her.

Dear God, he was loathsome. How she’d like people to know his true worth. But he was deemed a pillar of the community, always seeming to be helping people when really he was furthering his own needs. Of course, people spoke well of him – they couldn’t afford not to when he was the largest employer for miles around. She shuddered, remembering his improper behaviour at the manor. Just the thought of his lecherous leers and furtive fumbling made her feel sick. She cringed, knowing that the finger of suspicion would be pointed in her direction if she spoke up, for people would say there was no spark without fire.

‘Lily, wait for me.’

Roused from her reverie, she looked up to see Mary hurrying towards her. Lost in her thoughts, Lily hadn’t realized she’d already arrived in Bransbeer.

‘You’re late this morning,’ the other woman gasped, stooping to catch her breath.

‘I know, Mary. I started out in good time but Squire Clinsden waylaid me.’

‘Oh, he’s such a charming man and kind with it. Only the other day he gave my Jimmy a penny for returning his horse,’ the older woman gushed.

A whole penny for returning his thoroughbred; how generous, Lily thought. And as she looked at the woman’s beaming face, she knew she’d have great difficulty persuading people the squire was anything but a gentleman.

The morning passed in a blur. Luckily, Lily had mastered the pattern, for her thoughts were whirling as fast as her bobbins as she desperately tried to think of a solution to her domestic problem. She could never work for the squire. Yet, the family were relying on her and if she didn’t agree to go into service at the manor, they would be left without a roof over their heads. More than ever, she wished she’d confided in Tom but she hadn’t dare risk him confronting the squire; for they’d have been out of their cottage as fast as a fox snatching a chicken. Yet wasn’t that the situation they found themselves in now?

‘Well, Lily, you appear to be making good progress this morning, despite being in a trancelike state these past few hours.’

Looking up guiltily, she found her employer’s all-seeing eyes staring shrewdly at her.

‘Thank you, ma’am. I admit this pattern does take some concentrating on,’ Lily said, but the woman had already moved on.

‘No, no, that will not do at all, Abigail,’ Mrs Bodney berated, making the girl jump so that her slender fingers caught one of the pins.

Lily watched in horror as berry-red blood dripped onto the virginal white of the lace. Silence hung heavy in the air as the lace makers all waited to see what would happen. Mrs Bodney, her face as stiff as a starched napkin, ushered the sobbing Abigail from the room and the remaining women glanced at each other in dismay. Then, anxious not to be the next person to incur their employer’s wrath, they bent their heads over their pillows in fierce concentration. They didn’t even dare to look up when, a short while later, Mrs Bodney reappeared with a woman they’d never seen before and began showing her the pattern to be pricked out.

‘Heavens, that was quick,’ Nell whispered to Cora as she quickly straightened her cap. But for once even the quick-tongued Cora didn’t reply.

Lily shivered. Obviously, Mrs Bodney didn’t take any prisoners and, true to her word, had replacements ready and waiting if any of them were found wanting. Not wishing to risk her job, Lily made a determined effort to push her domestic problems to the back of her mind, and bent her head over her pillow.

Their nuncheon break was a subdued affair with none of them feeling inclined to talk. The realization that one mistake could see them instantly out of work had sobered their mood. Lily leaned back against the stone wall, wishing the sun would appear and warm her numbed body. The workroom as well as the atmosphere had been decidedly chilly. She was also hungry, for in her haste to leave the cottage, not only had she skipped breaking her fast, she’d forgotten to bring her noon piece.

She wondered how things were at the cottage and if her mother was feeling any better today. No doubt Aunt Elizabeth and Rob would be discussing the squire’s proposition.

‘Where’s your nuncheon, Lily?’ Mary asked, breaking into her thoughts.

‘I was in such a hurry this morning, I forgot to bring it,’ she answered, shrugging as if it wasn’t really important.

Mary broke her bread in half. ‘Here, have this. I’ve plenty,’ she said, handing a piece to Lily.

‘Oh, I couldn’t, Mary,’ she protested, for the other woman was a bag of bones and looked as if she needed all the nourishment she could get.

‘Go on, Lily, it’s been a bad morning already without you starving yourself,’ Mary insisted and, smiling her thanks, Lily took the proffered bread and bit into it hungrily.

The solemn atmosphere continued throughout the afternoon and, although Lily concentrated on the lace growing on her pillow, time dragged like the legs on a lame horse. She wondered how Beth and Rob were. It was surprising how much she missed them, but a relief to know her mother was being looked after as well, for, if Lily were honest, she had to admit she’d been finding it difficult to cope with her.

Finally, when the shadows had grown long and they were all bleary-eyed from staring at the white thread, Mrs Bodney rang her bell to signal the end of work. Relieved to have made it through the day without making any mistakes, Lily quickly covered her work, called goodbye to the others and hurried outside.

Her head was throbbing and her eyes burned from the continual concentration. Although it was a short walk up to the stables, she was bone weary and couldn’t wait to climb into the cart and let Doris take her home. But to her horror, the door was hanging open and the stall was empty. Frantically, she stared round the yard but there was no sign of Doris at all. Nor was Ned there to help her.

Fighting back tears of frustration, and feeling sad she’d have no time to meet Tom now, she put her head down against the rising wind, and began the long trek up the cliff towards Coombe. As her feet trudged the path, her boots throwing up red mud in her wake, her thoughts were in turmoil. She was certain she’d tethered Doris securely so how could she have got free? Could someone have taken her?

Gaining the brow of the hill, she paused to catch her breath. Surely she could hear the sound of hoofs? Squinting into the distance, she could just make out the outline of a donkey with someone seated on its back, coming towards her. She watched as they drew steadily closer. Then the rider waved and her heart flipped. It was Tom.

Tiredness forgotten, she tore down the hill towards him. As she reached him, he sprang from the animal’s back, landing so close she could smell the salt on his skin. Then a soft, velvety muzzle nuzzled its way between them and they burst out laughing.

‘Where did you find her?’ she asked, stroking the donkey’s ear.

‘I happened by on my way back to Bransbeer to meet you, and there she was cropping the grass,’ Tom replied. ‘Thinking you must have come home early, I knocked on the door. Your aunt was in a right old lather when she realized you weren’t there so I offered to come and find you. What’s going on, Lily? What’s happened?’ His blue eyes, serious for once, studied her intently.

‘I went to collect Doris after work, but the stall was empty. It gave me a real fright, I can tell you.’

‘Didn’t you ask Ned where she was?’ he asked, looking concerned.

‘He wasn’t around so I had no choice but to walk back.’

‘You look exhausted, poor thing. It seems right strange that old Doris here would set out to walk all the way back by herself. Your aunt reckoned she’s a lazy beast and never goes any further than she has to.’ Tom scratched his head, trying to fathom it out.

‘I can’t think what happened,’ Lily said, but then she remembered the squire’s words and a germ of suspicion flickered. ‘Anyway, what were you doing passing by the cottage?’ she asked, eager to change the subject. ‘And why are your hands caked in soil?’ To her surprise, his cheeks flushed and he didn’t meet her gaze.

‘Oh, I had something that needed seeing to,’ he said, winking. ‘Anyhow, you’d best be getting home. Your aunt was that worried she was flapping around like a broody hen. I’ll wait outside Mrs Bodney’s tomorrow and we’ll take a walk. It’ll do you good to get some fresh air after being cooped up indoors all day.’ Then tipping his hand to his forehead in salute, he continued along the path to Bransbeer.

Watching him go, Lily couldn’t help thinking that if they could be wed, many of her problems would be solved. But etiquette decreed she must wait six months since her father’s passing. Thank goodness she didn’t have to walk the rest of the way home, she thought, wearily climbing onto the donkey’s back.

Back at the cottage, she found her aunt hovering anxiously on the step.

‘There you are, my dear. I was that worried when Doris came back without you. You’ll have to make sure she’s securely tethered in future. I suppose old Ned was too busy supping down at the alehouse to notice she’d gone.’

‘Yes, Aunt Elizabeth,’ Lily replied, deciding to keep her suspicions to herself for the time being. ‘How’s Mother?’

Her aunt clucked her tongue and shook her head. ‘She’s gone into decline. The shock of losing her home, on top of everything else, is plaguing her something dreadful.’

‘I’ll go straight in and see her,’ Lily said, shrugging off her shawl.

‘No, don’t disturb her. I’ve given her some more valerian root to make her sleep. Beth’s woolly to the world too. Now sit yourself down and tell me what you’ve decided to do about the squire’s proposition?’

Lily smiled wryly. If only her aunt knew how close to the truth her words were.

‘I’ve thought of little else. In fact I’m surprised I’ve been able to work at all.’

‘Well, that’s probably your conscience pricking you. Poor Robert’s been fretting all day. He feels bad he can’t take over here as your dear father intended, God rest his soul. Of course, if your brother Timmy had lived, then things might have been different,’ her aunt said with a sigh.

Lily thought of the little brother she’d loved and then of the twins who’d been born sleeping two years later. And now her father was buried in the churchyard alongside … Realizing her aunt was still speaking, she forced herself back to the present.

‘Still, I told Robert you’d have the right answer for the squire when he returns in a couple of days, what with you being such a sensible lass,’ her aunt said, patting her hand.

‘Look, Aunt Elizabeth, you might as well know that I have no intention of going into service for the squire,’ Lily said.

‘I know you like working for Mrs Bodney, but your family need a home and working for the squire would provide the perfect solution.’

‘I said no, Aunt Elizabeth, and I meant it,’ Lily shouted.

‘There’s no need to get uppity, Lily. Sometimes we have to think of others in this life. Out of the goodness of his heart, the squire is offering you a respectable position.’

‘Respectable?’ Lily shrieked, shaking her head so violently, her aunt looked momentarily shocked, but then reached out and patted her arm gently.

‘Well, if you’re that insistent, where do you propose living?’

Lily looked down at the ground, for the truth was, although she’d thought until her head hurt, she hadn’t been able to find a solution.

‘There’s the old cottage Pa Perkins had before he died. Perhaps the squire would let you rent that,’ her aunt suggested.

‘I hardly think so,’ Lily spluttered, hating the thought of even asking.

‘Well, you’ll have to think of something soon, my girl. Sometimes we have to put up with things not being exactly as we want them to be in this life. Surely working for the squire is preferable to being out on the streets?’

‘Never! You do know he preys on innocent girls up at that fine manor of his? Why, he—’

‘Tut, tut!’ Aunt Elizabeth cut in. ‘And he’s tried it on with you, I suppose? You should be careful what you insinuate, Lily. There are smuts where there’s smoke, and smuts stick, believe you me.’

‘And you’d know about such things, I suppose,’ Lily said, narrowing her eyes. For a moment she thought she’d gone too far.

Then: ‘Just be careful, that’s all I say,’ her aunt muttered, looking away quickly. In the heavy silence that followed, Lily felt as if the walls were closing in on her. Unable to bear the tense atmosphere any longer, she fled back outside.

A stiff breeze was blowing in from the sea, and she shivered, wishing she’d grabbed her shawl. Hearing the sound of waves pounding the base of the cliffs made her think of Tom. How she wished she could talk things over with him. Still, it was obvious her aunt didn’t believe her so why would he?

Doris ambled over and nuzzled her pocket. With a sob, Lily buried her head in the animal’s fur. What was she to do? Despite what her aunt thought, she knew that if she agreed to work for the squire, he’d take it as a signal she was willing to accept his advances. If she didn’t they’d have nowhere to live and it would be her fault.