In a stroke of good fortune as rare as hen’s teeth in the mouth of a flying pig, Grandad was exactly where they’d left him: outside the large wooden door, leaning against a marble column. Cosmas was pacing up and down, scratching furiously at his beard, like a dog responding to a sudden flea invasion.
‘Perhaps the chicken crossed the road to escape his oppressors?’ Cosmas guessed, resembling a walking headache.
Grandad winked at the arriving gang of three. ‘No, I’m afraid not.’
It was obvious to Frankie that this was not Cosmas’s first guess. He appeared, in fact, to be at the end of his tether.
‘OK, tell me, I give up! Why did the chicken cross the road?’
Drew Bird couldn’t resist blurting the answer. ‘To get to the other side.’
Cosmas looked at Drew Bird as he processed this. ‘Of course!’ he said. ‘It’s so simple yet so brilliant. This riddle will become the centre of all my future philosophies.’ (Actually, it would become the reason this once-respected philosopher didn’t become a famous philosopher and was very rarely quoted by anyone. In fact, he would soon be kicked out of the Academy.)
He got his head out of his riddle-based cloud as Alexi scooted past. ‘And where do you think you are going, child?’
Alexi turned. ‘I’m going to the Olympic Games… with my new friends.’
‘Yer all doing WHAT?’ asked Grandad. This was, of course, the first he’d heard of it.
‘Lou’s gone to compete,’ Frankie told him quickly. ‘We’ve got to stop her!’
Cosmas turned to Grandad. ‘Would you really be prepared to take Alexi off my hands for a while … er, I mean, to the Games for a treat?’
‘If it’s OK, we’d love to take him,’ lied Frankie quickly. ‘And we’ll have him back before you could say, er …’
‘She sells seashells by the seashore,’ finished Drew.
The old philosopher’s eyes lit up once more. ‘Another fascinating paradox!’ he said. ‘Why would “she” attempt to sell seashells at the seashore, when anyone could just pick them up for free? Most intriguing indeed …’
As Cosmas beamed, lost in his new riddle, Grandad leaned over and muttered, ‘We can’t go anywhere until we find Nanna’s sculpture.’
‘But LOU is going to be at the Games,’ Frankie hissed back. ‘I’m sure of it! And Alexi’s going to get us in. This could be our only shot to get her back, Grandad.’
Grandad glared at him, and Frankie knew he’d won the argument. ‘OK, let’s go then – before Cosmas decides ye have to answer another riddle to get out of here!’
Frankie, Drew and Grandad walked away from the Academy, an excited Alexi hopping along beside them. They waved goodbye to Cosmas, who gave them a distracted wave back.
Frankie couldn’t help but think how strange it was that Cosmas would allow three strangers with a crazy story to take Alexi with them. Either Cosmas was super relaxed or Alexi was such a pain in the bum that Cosmas couldn’t wait to offload him, like an old couch. A couch that talked in a very annoying manner.
‘So, how will we get to Mount Olympus?’ came Alexi’s pipsqueak-y voice. ‘We need to leave straight away if we want to see the start of the Games. I know because one day I’ll be the God of Travel!’
‘Um, well …’ dithered Frankie. He couldn’t exactly say they were going to time-travel there. And at that moment, he remembered that Grandad had sat on the memory-wiping glasses and broken them the previous week, so they wouldn’t even be able to use those to stop Alexi from knowing!
The little brat patted Frankie’s hand patronisingly. ‘You are so lucky to have me. I will fetch Alessandro. He will get us to Mount Olympus.’
‘Alessandro isn’t your twin brother, is he?’ Drew shuddered.
‘Your ideas are as ridiculous as your faces,’ Alexi retorted. ‘No, Alessandro is the finest steed in the land and he will get us to Mount Olympus in good time. Wait here, peasants, and I shall fetch my chariot!’
Without waiting for an answer, Alexi ran off, leaving the time-travelling trio waiting on the road outside the Academy.
‘Can’t we just nick off without him?’ Drew asked desperately.
Frankie suppressed a groan and shook his head. It wasn’t just about the tokens, either. As annoying as Alexi was (and he was approaching Lisa Chadwick–levels of annoying), there was something in the way the adults spoke to Alexi, like he was in trouble before he even did anything, that made Frankie feel a little sorry for him.
‘We can’t just leave him,’ Frankie said firmly.
‘Especially seeing as he has a chariot and a noble steed,’ added Grandad, craning his neck to get the first glimpse of his ride. ‘I wouldn’t mind a bit of comfort for once, meself.’
‘But it’s going to take a week to get to the Olympics that way,’ complained Drew. ‘Can’t we just use the Sonic Suitcase to get there?’
‘Don’t be a numbskull,’ Grandad said. ‘Ye can’t let a kid from Ancient Greece know about time-travel! Ye’ll have to let him think we’re on the chariot, and then wait until he’s asleep.’
Frankie nodded. It wasn’t a perfect plan. Far from it – there was a chance Alexi would wake mid-travel just as he was whizzing past LeBron James or Daniel Ricciardo. But it was the only plan they had.
A moment later, they heard Alexi’s squeaky voice again. ‘Idiots beware! Alessandro is approaching!’ he announced proudly.
Frankie, Drew and Grandad spun around in Alexi’s direction. Frankie was particularly keen to see this supposedly splendid steed. He had already imagined a magnificent black stallion with glistening horsey muscles and a big shiny mane, pulling a red chariot with golden trims …
… But then he saw Alexi and Alessandro.
