Everybody likes cheese, unless you’re lactose intolerant. And if you are, then my heart goes out to you. I wake up every morning and I thank the baby Jesus that I’m not lactose intolerant. Because I lo-o-ove cheese. A cheese plate is the easiest hors d’oeuvre you can make, or rather, put out. Add some bottles of wine and you have a simple gathering for friends. Done.
There’s no right or wrong way to organize your dairy-licious selection—don’t let the cheese snobs make you feel inferior. I serve the cheese I want to eat, quite frankly. But just like any great outfit hinges on color, pattern, texture, and shine, so does a cheese plate depend on some basic principles.
I make sure that they’re different textures or, sometimes, made from different kinds of milk, whether sheep, cow, or goat, as well as different strengths. Try for a range of everything from mild to something with a little bit of a bite to it. Chat up the cheese guy at your supermarket. He wants to move the cheese before it goes bad (as in “serving a life sentence” bad), so there’s always a cheese on special. Start with that well-priced hunk (the cheese, not the cheese guy) and build your selection from there. You don’t need a pound of each cheese. People are fine with just one or two bites of each, which means you could serve a really small wedge of a really expensive cheese. Fabulous! If you’re serving cheese as an appetizer or as a course, plan on about three ounces per person. And always serve cheese at room temperature, each with its own cheese knife.
CHEESE PLATE POINTERS
For a stand-alone wine and cheese party, round out all that delicious dairy with an assortment of fresh breads and fruit, like sliced apples, pears, melon, grapes, or figs. If you’re serving cheese before dinner, try savory accompaniments like olives and nuts. Get all Frenchy on your guests by serving cheese after dinner with dried apricots, dates, and fig chutneys or quince paste for a nice sweetness.
MORE CHEESE PLATE POINTERS
Give your cheese plate a theme! You can group by country (France, Italy, United States, Botswana) or by different kinds of milk (perhaps one each of sheep, cow, and goat). Or group them by type, like three different blues or Bries. Here I’ve paired a mild crumbly goat with a soft, medium-strength triple crème and a potent blue.