The RULE of TWOS:
2 + 2 = PURCHASE
This rule always makes me think of Chuck Woolery on Love Connection: “We’ll be back in two and two!” Oh, the spectacle of TV dating before the Internet.
THE FIRST “2” is the idea of being able to wear something in two different aspects of your life. So, every garment that you buy—at least most garments that you buy—should be able to fit into two categories of your life—work, weekend, and evening. This purple jacket wouldn’t be a smart purchase if it could only be paired with jeans. But here, the model (who happens to be my styling assistant, Julia) makes it work for an office outfit with an olive shirtdress as well as an evening look over a shiny top. There are lots of possibilities here.
The idea behind the LBD, or little black dress, is that it can be worn to work with a cardigan, which would be removed for an evening out. Another example: a blouse that you can wear to work with a pencil skirt, that you can also wear on the weekend with a pair of jeans. Magnifique!
When nothing works together, you end up with a closet full of clothes with tags on them and a wallet full of regrets. By implementing the Rule of Twos, your clothes are providing you with a great value and you are creating multiple fabulous looks from less.
THE SECOND “2”: You must already have two other things in your wardrobe to pair with a piece. Often women buy stuff on sale: “It’s a forty-percent-off flash sale! Grab everything!” And when things are at a discount, all logic flies out the window: “Oh, this is a beautiful printed skirt! This royal blue with splashes of green and orange is so exciting!” But then you get home and the truth sets in: You have nothing in your closet that could possibly go with the multicolored skirt. That’s a problem. To make a budgetworthy purchase, you need to own two pieces it will go with to create an outfit.
I won’t lie. This process might be more painful than a colon cleanse. But I’m telling you, this exercise will
change your life.
Go into that closet. Pull every freakin’ article of clothing out of it and throw it onto the bed, the dining room table, the sofa. Whatever you have to do, just get it out of the closet. Then, meticulously and honestly, go through piece by piece, and try everything on.
If it is too big, it gets thrown into the “too big” pile. If it is too small, it gets thrown into the “too small” pile. If it just fits, it gets its own happy, special pile. There’s also a little pile for things that are slightly too big or that need a little alteration.
So, if it’s more than a size too big, it goes in the thrift store pile (or rather, the pile for your favorite charity or consignment store). If it is too small, get it out of the house ASAP, because clothes that are too small remind you that you are no longer that size anymore. And it’s mental torture for you to go into your closet and be reminded on a daily basis that you’re no longer a size 4, and that you are now a size 8.
“Oh, but Clinty, I keep those tiny shorts around to inspire me to lose weight,” you say as you bat your eyelashes and take a bite of a Twinkie. Lots of people do this, and you know what? It never f#$^ing works. Pardon my French. It’s just making you feel worse. Ditch your “skinny clothes,” my fabulous friends, and get rid of your “fat clothes” too. Because those fat clothes give you permission to go back up to an undesired weight, and that is unacceptable.
Stop sabotaging yourself.
Once you’ve weeded through all your clothes, let’s see what you’re left with. These are the articles of clothing you actually have to work with. And my Lord! Looking at this pile of “keeper” clothes makes you realize that you’re stuck in a rut—a horrible rut that you never noticed. Just where did those ten teal shirts come from and why are all of your pants black, tapered leg, and covered in cat fur? This is my cue to run screaming from your home. I suggest you join me.
KNOW THAT FIT is the ESSENCE of STYLE
Before heading out to shop, you must understand and commit to memory that a huge part of dressing Freakin’ Fabulous on a Budget is that you’re not going for the label, whether it’s high-end, low-end, or in between. The number one factor is fit. Do your clothes fit and flatter you? Do they tell the world what you want the world to know about you? All the rest of the stuff is cockadoodie. Women with money and great style (the two are not mutually exclusive) know that fit means everything.
