5 EASY PIECES
There are five pieces of clothing that say, “I’m a schlump, and I’ve given up.” I shake my head in shame every day knowing that so many Americans waste their hard-earned cash on schlocky clothes. But here I come to save the day! I have budget-friendly upgrades that will have you screaming, “I’m Freakin’ Fabulous and I know it!”
She dresses for “comfort,” with no concern for her appearance or dignity. She’s shamefully sporting the five biggest fashion offenders: a hoodie sweatshirt, light-wash jeans, a shapeless T-shirt, a backpack, and white cross-trainers.
By upgrading these cop-out clothes, she will instantly boost not just her appearance but also her confidence. And after she’s invested in my five upgrades, she will be able to form multiple ensembles, thereby getting more for her money.
The gray sweatshirt is history. If you have more than one sweatshirt and one hoodie in your closet, get rid of them! Start replacing them with casual completer pieces, like a cotton-canvas, leather, or denim jacket. Cardigans, too!
So long, light-wash jeans. Polished, dark-wash denim free of distressing, rips, or tears will always look more expensive.
Throw out every shapeless, unisex T-shirt you own. Opt for a blouse with seams, darts, and details. I think the word blouse scares some women; it makes them think of an elderly relative. But a blouse is just a shirt that is cut for a woman! It doesn’t have to be silk, charmeuse, or any fancy fabric. It just has to have a little bit of feminine detail to it.
Backpacks—they’re good for lugging around heavy textbooks. If you’re worried about your back and shoulders, lighten the load in your bag and opt for a tote or a cross-body bag. A couple of shoulder presses now and again wouldn’t hurt either.
Cross-trainers—this is probably the most pervasive mistake happening in America right now. I don’t know where the hell people got the idea that it was okay to wear cross-trainers at all times. I blame Jerry Seinfeld. The shoe always, always, always sets the tone for an outfit. And cross-trainers say that you are a tourist. A tourist in your own land!
Speaking of tourists, there are few things that make me cringe more than sitting at a sidewalk café in Paris, sipping a café au lait, and spotting a gaggle of Americans, all pointing at the Eiffel Tower and all wearing white cross-trainers. Aaaargh! My skin crawls just thinking about it!
They’re fine for the gym (or when you’re eighty-three), but for everyday life, there are better options!
