43 HOME DATE!

Home, where my thought’s escaping, home, where my music’s playing, home, where my love lies waiting . . .

—Simon and Garfunkel, “Homeward Bound”

WE’VE ALREADY HIGHLIGHTED SOME DATES that lend themselves to staying at home. However, this is a concept that warrants revisiting. For one thing, we know that even in the best of economic times, going out on a regular basis can become an expensive proposition for many couples. Staying at home and spending quality time together after the kids are in bed can be a cost-effective way for couples to build intimacy and “turn toward” each other. For another thing, your home is also, in many ways, the centerpiece of your married and family life. Such a setting lends itself to fostering connection and intimacy.

Oh, and one more thing. A home date can also serve as a great plan B when your childcare falls through, which will inevitably happen more often than you’d like. A last-minute change of plans doesn’t automatically mean that your date night has to be canceled. Sometimes, even when it comes to an unexpected change to your date-night plans, “there’s no place like home.”

ACTIVITY: Just because you’re staying home doesn’t mean you have to dress like a slob. Get out of those sweatpants and put a little effort into looking nice for your spouse. As for actual activities, use your imagination. For example, once the kids are asleep, go out on your back porch, grill some steaks, and enjoy a gourmet meal under the stars. If it’s cold outside, put a tablecloth down in front of the fireplace and enjoy your meal there.

QUESTIONS: If your chosen activity doesn’t allow it, make sure you reserve some time afterward to connect through good conversation. Catch up on the events of the day and the week. Ask yourselves, “Are there other ways we can foster intimacy in our relationship on a regular basis when we’re at home?”