44 FAMILY DATE

Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!

—Albert Einstein, letter to Paul Ehrenfest, June 1918

ONCE AGAIN, IT’S TIME TO break from the traditional marital-dating template. Instead of enjoying quiet, uninterrupted couple time, you’re going to involve the entire family! This isn’t something you should do frequently, but there are certainly benefits to the occasional family outing of this nature.

A family date sets a great example for your kids. It allows you to be affectionate and romantic with each other in their presence. We’re not talking about “making out” in front of them—gross! However, it’s entirely appropriate for husbands and wives to show affection for each other in front of their kids. It demonstrates a healthy male-female dynamic and sends the message that married life can be fun—it’s not just drudgery and arguing over bills.

Dr. Ken R. Canfield, founder of the National Center for Fathering, explains how marital dating can make a dramatic impact on your children:

Your son is taking subconscious notes. He’s asking, “How should I treat women?” “What does it mean to be a husband?” Your daughter also has her eye on you. The thought of giving herself to a man in marriage can be frightening. She’s asking herself how well her mother fared in the deal. Your children watch when you open car doors for your wife. They listen closely when you compliment her on how radiant she looks in that new dress, or express your appreciation for all she does for you.[29]

ACTIVITY: Choose a Saturday or another time when both you and the kids are free, and engage in something fun. Don’t be afraid to call it a “family date.” Many of the same principles apply. It’s a chance to get away, invest in one another, and form deeper bonds. Go to a new restaurant, drive to a neighboring town to see the sights, play miniature golf or disc golf, take a picnic to the park, go sightseeing at some local landmarks, and so on.

QUESTIONS: After the date is over and it’s just the two of you again—perhaps at night in bed—discuss the day’s family date. Consider the following Questions: Did your parents go on dates when you were young? Did they model a healthy marriage for you? Can our own commitment to marital dating model healthy marriage concepts for our kids? What are some ways we can maximize everyday moments with our children in the same way we’ve endeavored to do so in our marriage?