52 MILESTONES

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

—Mark Twain

THE FINAL DATE IN OUR list of fifty-two could actually turn into several dates, depending on how many events or milestones you choose to commemorate in this way. Basically, this is a chance for you and your spouse to celebrate any number of significant events in your lives by setting aside some quality couple time together. Some dates happen “just because,” and others are tied to certain life developments or special occasions. Either way, the goal is the same: to grow closer to your spouse, to have fun, and to invest in your relationship. There’s always a good excuse to go on a date!

With that said, here are some life events that you might consider celebrating or commemorating with your spouse.

A Promotion at Work

ACTIVITY: Go out for dinner someplace nice, especially if your promotion involved an increase in salary.

QUESTIONS: If you got the promotion, be sure to thank your spouse for supporting and encouraging you as a significant breadwinner in achieving this major milestone. If your spouse got the promotion, make an effort to highlight the skills and character traits that likely contributed to the recognition received at work.

Completion of a Degree or Other Coursework

ACTIVITY: Whether your classes took place online or on campus, schedule your “graduation date” during the time that normally would have been occupied by your studies. This will drive home the fact that you’re done with your classes, and that you now have a few extra hours in your week to pursue other activities . . . such as dating your spouse!

QUESTIONS: Whether or not you talk specifically about your spouse’s degree during your date will depend on your spouse. He or she may take pleasure and pride in sharing with you some of the nuggets of wisdom that were gained while earning the degree. On the other hand, after studying for finals and “firing on all cylinders” in that final push before graduation, the last thing some students want to do is talk about school! If that’s the case for your spouse, make sure your date night is relaxing and fun—a welcome reprieve from talk about economics or theology or business or English.

Achievement of a Personal Goal or Objective

ACTIVITY: Perhaps your spouse had a goal of losing twenty pounds or completing a rigorous exercise program. Or maybe he or she has just completed another difficult project—writing a book, building a fence in the backyard, volunteering in a high-risk youth program, or painting the house. Take him or her out on the town to celebrate the achievement!

QUESTIONS: This is another chance to show a genuine interest in the things that matter to your spouse. Be sure to offer lots of praise and affirmation and to also ask Questions: How do you feel now that you’ve reached your goal? Would you ever commit to doing something like that again? Do you feel you’ve grown emotionally or spiritually as a result of completing your task?

Completion of Chemotherapy or Another Intensive Medical Procedure

ACTIVITY: Following a prolonged illness or another physical challenge, going out and feeling “normal” again might just be the thing to brighten your mate’s spirits. Take your spouse to a nice restaurant or engage in a recreational activity of his or her choosing.

QUESTIONS: Although you didn’t experience the actual physical symptoms, enduring a serious illness like cancer is certainly something that spouses do together. During your date, take time to debrief and talk about how the experience has changed both of you. If your spouse was the one who was ill, make sure to praise him or her for demonstrating strength and resilience in the face of difficult odds. And if you were sick, make every effort to let your spouse know how grateful you are to him or her for walking with you on this journey. End the evening by praying together and giving thanks to God for bringing you and your family through this difficult time. Ask Him to continue drawing you closer to each other and closer to Him through whatever lies ahead—the good and the bad—in your marriage.