The day dawned after a mostly sleepless night. Eva had slept well, and I had taken care to cuddle and hold her as much as I could stand. There were two cold showers during the night. After all, there is a fine line between relief and abuse. A line I had been walking for some time now. The plan for confession of that sin was planned for my death bed as that would be around the time it would stop.
The roast pheasant supper presented in Eva's honor went very well. The staff had truly outdone themselves. We finished with a delicious blackberry trifle. I won strong accolades for remembering her favorite fruit. Promises were made for amazing sexual favors once we were wed, but I did not care. Seeing her happy, giddy like a schoolgirl is all I cared about. Her joy became my joy, her sorrow my sorrow, which brings us to this moment. Perhaps she thought I would not hear her in the lavatory. As I shaved, her muffled sobs tore my heart out. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and reassure her that I would not leave her, but I knew I could not. We had agreed the previous night that she would spend the day with Mother after a late morning in bed. I knew Mother and Auntie would keep her busy. However, she needed time to work into her strength before, so there would be no breakdowns later.
I finished, packed my shaving kit, and took it out to the writing room. Placing it in the suitcase, I returned to the wardrobe room where I donned shoes, shirt coat and tie. As I went to tie it, Eva stepped in front of me and took over.
"I love you, please come back to me, Alexsander." She finished her work on my tie and left without saying another word.
I retrieved my billfold and went out to the bed to hold her, but she was gone. Looking through the other rooms, I realized she must have quietly left through the bedroom door. “Should I follow her?” I asked myself. No, she had a very particular way of dealing with things. Prolonging a painful goodbye would not help either of us. I went to the night table and swept up the book. I had finished reading it the night before after a cold shower.
In the writing room, I scribbled an endearing note to Eva and placed it in the front of the book. A knock came, followed by Frieda.
"Good morning, Mein Herr, I still think you should have let me bring you breakfast. You will starve if you do not eat something, no, I will take your bag down. I am a perfectly strong woman; I hardly need a man to carry things around for me." And she continued this all the way down to the vestibule.
Both sets of parents were awaiting us in the vestibule, where we donned coats, scarves, and hats. Franz looked the worst for wear, which I found interesting. I handed Father my book requesting he deliver it to Eva. I hoped it would give her some small measure of joy to read it while I was away. He assured me Eva would be well cared for and urged me to keep my mind on being safe and so forth. Mother, Auntie and Uncle Franz repeated the same, there were handshakes and kisses as we made our way out the door.
With that chaos, Franz and I set off on our mission. Acknowledging the need to keep up appearances, we had decided upon hiring a chauffeur to drive us out to Schaan for the train.
"I am almost afraid to wish you good morning from the look of you," I said.
Franz laughed, "Just a rough night of sleep, nothing I won't recover from."
"Well, I thought my night was rough, I rather think you took the worst of it!" I joked with him. He laughed a bit but off, just not himself. "Franz, I apologize if all of this with Eva has stirred up any ghosts."
I had said it completely unintentionally. From the look on his face, it would be safe to say the target was struck dead center. The tone set, we proceeded to pass a very quiet trip to Innsbruck.
"Father made arrangements for the staff as discussed, so the house should be in better circumstances than when we left it," Franz said.
"Are you completely familiar with the staff?" I asked, not to be paranoid, however, it was difficult to tell where political loyalties lay oftentimes.
"No, not well enough to vouch for them, so we should remain cautious. My understanding is Madame Reneé will have correspondence for us. I thought I might swing by tonight to pick it up. Care to join me?"
Franz winked at me, which quickly turned to shock when I said, "Yes, actually I would love to."
Arriving at Innsbruck station, we caught a ride to the house. The staff were familiar, but not enough to know by name for either of us. They were efficient though; they had rearranged the remnants of the house to make quite a nice sitting room and study. Assuring us all the staff accommodation was intact. Mother had left our rooms alone entirely. The truth of Austria’s situation made it very unlikely she would use this home in the foreseeable future, if ever. Being an optimist, she would believe otherwise.
The staff had prepared a lovely luncheon and had all our possessions unpacked and neatly stored before we finished the brief tour of inspection. We both agreed on a nap before the night’s escapades commenced. Knowing we were book poor in this property. I had borrowed several volumes from the manse in Vaduz. I settled into my nicely worn copy of the phantom of the opera and was out before I could turn a page.
The left side of my head was killing me, God it hurt. I was holding my head and running around the room looking for a mirror to see what had happened to me. Shaking, furious shaking, someone had hold of me. "Stop! Stop! My head hurts, what is wrong with my head?" I screamed, no one would listen to me.
Suddenly, Franz was there. I was on the floor, holding my head.
"Sandy, are you awake? Do you hear me? It is me, Fritzy, I am here," he kept saying while pushing my hands away. "Sandy, I don't see anything wrong with your head. Did you strike it on something?"
Dazed, I was trying to think, my head did not hurt at all. Had I been dreaming?
"Fritzy...I.......don't know, it feels fine..........I don't understand. My head had the most intense pain on the left side, but now I feel fine. I do not understand!" I said, looking up at him while he continued looking in my eyes, checking my color, checking my head.
"I awoke about 20 minutes ago. In fact, I was just coming to wake you when I heard you screaming. Sandy, I want an X-Ray, NO! Do not fight me on this!” he said in response to the protestations he could see I was about to proffer. “We are going to the hospital right now!”
Franz got me up. The disorientation persisted while I redressed in my suit. Fritzy helped me with my tie, I could not quite manage it for some reason. I felt disconnected, like stepping into another reality and back again.
Most of the trip to the auto was a blur. On the way to the hospital, I began feeling normal again. More grounded, solidly here in this automobile, speeding down the road. Fritzy took charge as he came through the door, no one dared question him and the physician on duty knew him, so things went fast. Before I knew it, I was being manipulated this way and that, all the while, scandalously scantily clad. A very lovely nurse took me off to a private room to dress, wait, and pace. Quite probably, little time had passed, but it felt as if hours were ticking by.
Eventually, Fritzy stuck his head in and asked me to come with him. After several hallways with multiple turns, we arrived in a kind of office, an examination room, maybe. Another doctor introduced himself.
"There is an anomaly we cannot account for, but there seems to be nothing out of the ordinary. Let me explain," he placed slides on a bright panel. There were quite a few shots of a skull. "See these films?" he pointed to the first three.
"Yes," I said, and he continued.
"You notice how the left side of the skull is missing? It seems foggy, but it is gone. There is no solid line, nothing physical. Now, in these next two, you see how the lines are faint, like the skull is somehow coming back?"
"Yes," I said, and he resumed.
“Then, in these last films, your skull is completely fine!” the doctor concluded. He looked at me as if expecting me to solve his mystery.
"Yes? So, what is wrong with the machine?" I asked.
"Well, that is it, Sandy,” Franz interjected, “there is nothing wrong with the machine. We have tried it with other people. The machine is not replicating the anomaly."
"Then I am fine, we are able to go now?" I asked.
"Hold on, Sandy, just hang on, yes we can go, but I think we should run more tests." Franz gave me a pleading look as he said it.
"Franz, we are on a bit of a schedule, what kind of tests and how long?" The last thing I wanted was to give in, but I also knew the hounding would never stop if the tests were not done.
"Just a few hours and then we can go. I will not make you stay to wait out the results, fair?"
"Fair enough, let's get started," I said, pulling my jacket back off and removing my tie.
The next few hours went by in a blur of needles, thumping, bumping, pinching, picking, pulling, stretching, the list just goes on and on. Finally, I was allowed to use the lavatory, of course, a specimen was required. At last, I was cleared to leave. Thanks were given, handshakes, and so forth, and we made our way to the automobile.
"Let's wait until tomorrow on driving, shall we?" Fritzy suggested, heading me off as I came around to the driver’s door. "Just until we get the results, okay?"
"Part of me wants to accuse you of doing this so you get to drive," I teased, but kind of meant it and he knew it.
"We'll skip Madame's tonight, I'll stop by in the morning to grab the correspondence before we leave to meet Henry," he said.
"Fritzy, you are my brother, thank you for everything you just did, but you will not now or ever dictate my life. We will be going to Madame's tonight. Now let us find supper, I am starving," I responded in my most matter-of-fact tone.
Fortunately, arriving home supplied a much more pleasant experience. Supper had been prepared in anticipation of our return. A telegram had arrived, and Eva had phoned from Vaduz. Eva came first, I rang the operator to place the call. The operator would ring back when they had her on the line, so I went to wash up for supper. I felt like I still had the hospital clinging all over me. A scar of the war, surely. God knows what Fritzy would be going through. I stripped, took a quick shower, and put on fresh clothes.
The phone rang just as I entered the study to read the telegram.
"Oh, my darling, I miss you already!" Eva's voice was so lovely.
"I miss you, my love, how did the rest of the day go?"
The minutiae of her day were then relayed with proper fervor: they had shopped, enjoyed an afternoon meal, and she had been introduced to a new friend who had arrived. Father had only just given her the book with the message in it a few moments before the operator connected the call. Overall, she had an enjoyable day, despite the morning, of course. We sat on the phone like children for some time. I had to make my apologies and say goodbye. I truly did miss her.
As expected, the telegram was from Henry, brief, as was his manner. He would arrive on time tomorrow morning and make his way out of the house the same as before, thereby preventing any overt show of our acquaintance. Klaus was aware of his arrival; he would be welcomed with open arms and quite probably a full table. Onto supper, Fritzy already graced the table, but he did not seem to be barreling through supper as he normally would. My goodness, he was worried!
"Sandy, there you are, telegram from our mutual friend, is it?" he inquired.
"Indeed, tomorrow morning, I believe," I said, wondering if I should have.
His avoidance of Henry's name reminded me we were in unknown waters. I excused myself quickly, retrieved the telegram, and placed it in the fire, then returned to supper. Of course, anyone who was at the disposition could have easily opened it and resealed it before we even made it home.
"Would you reconsider our jaunt tonight?" He asked before I even had my chair.
"No!" I sat down and looked over our not so meager supper. My stomach growled as I reached for sausages. Once I had begun eating, Fritzy recovered his appetite. Supper passed with little conversation. We moved into the study after supper, expecting privacy.
"Look, Sandy, I know you, you aren't going with me for the reason I'm going. Hell, I can count on one hand the women with whom you have fornicated. Evangeline's hold on you is eternal. So why are you going?" Fritzy eyed me.
"Actually, with Eva's new vows, she is unable to fornicate until we are married." I said it as sarcastically as possible to make the possibility of me seeking solace elsewhere believable.
Fritzy only looked harder at me, reconsidering his assessment.
"You haven’t…?" he asked, rather shocked.
"Since she was Madame Evangeline La Chabanais."
"Well, that explains a hell of a lot!" Fritzy said with a sarcastic tone. He went over and poured us both a schnapps. He handed me the glass with a salute, "You, Sandy, are a saint with that woman next to you."
"Trust me, I am no saint, cold showers have become so commonplace they barely work anymore. She wanted so badly to stay the night last night and I had not the heart to deny her. There we were, both in our nightclothes, in my bed, and I had to run off for cold showers every time she backed against me in her sleep. I will not recount the borderline rape that transpired earlier in the evening."
I threw back the schnapps and retrieved another. Confessing to the events of my last night with Eva played into the ruse. “Thankfully, her restraint of my arms had brought me round, otherwise...”
"You should have let me bribe the priest in Brandberg when we had the chance, Sandy."
"Believe me, Fritzy, when I tell you, if the decision could have been made by me, we would be on our honeymoon right now." We both raised our glasses to that.
"Does she mind you being with someone else?" There was a question I never expected from him.
"I don't know, the subject only centered around Reneé continuing the spying and retrieving any current information she had gathered. Finding relief with another woman, surprisingly, did not occur to me until today."
With time to think about it, Fritzy would not believe it, but for the moment he accepted my story. Thus, moving to a room with Reneé would appear to be for reasons of self-gratification. Frankly, I found the proposition of a real encounter unlikely at best, but desire had me literally by the balls. Never would I have believed myself capable of ripping a woman’s clothes off. There could be no measure of the sin I was obviously capable of currently. Better not to go down the sin rabbit hole.
"It is a bit early, but would you care to stroll over to Madame's?" I asked, making my way to the door.
"Allow me to freshen up first, if you do not mind, twenty minutes?"
With that, Franz headed off to do all the necessary things one should do when one would be romping with ladies for physical pleasure. I made my way out to the kitchen, checking on the staff, renewing introductions with those who had been otherwise engaged upon arrival, giving updates on our departure, (which they seemed disappointed to hear) and thanks for their dedication. I assured them we would be back within the month, but left any destinations out of the conversations, and they did not inquire. They seemed very much the staff we were looking for. There were four in all, more than necessary, but we were happy to provide them with continued service. They were all from the same family, unable to leave for Vaduz due to ailing parents. As Uncle Otto had implied, they had been with them for some time, and it was truly unlikely they would have any ties to Nazi's. The worry, however, would be who they knew and spoke with, not necessarily their own character.
Franz, good as his word, appeared twenty minutes later; showered, shaved, and dressed more appropriately.
"Amazing how a little motivation lights a fire of urgency," I said.
He instantly rebuffed, "Says the man who has been trying to quell the fire for weeks!"
"Touché, Fritzy, if you prefer, we could certainly spend the evening fencing."
"Not on your life, I am going to bury my face, never mind, I wouldn't want to get you too worked up before we get there!"
We set off. Bantering the entire walk, nonstop.