met my wife, Amy, in college. I’m not someone who necessarily believes in love at first sight, but I must say that one look was all it took, because I was “diggin’ that girl’s chili”! (What? You don’t say that?)Want to know what you really believe? Watch what you do.
met my wife, Amy, in college. I’m not someone who necessarily believes in love at first sight, but I must say that one look was all it took, because I was “diggin’ that girl’s chili”! (What? You don’t say that?)
I remember the first time I asked her out on a date. I was so nervous. My question was simple: “Would you like to go out?” Her answer was simpler: “No.” I remember being disappointed but not defeated. Because when it comes to girls, my motto has always been “If at first you don’t succeed, just pester the snot out of them and eventually you can win them over.” So I did just that. Every few months I would ask her out, and every few months she would say no. And this little game went on for about four years. Yes … four years. Finally she said yes. She likes to tell me that she felt sorry for me and finally gave me a chance. I like to believe that she finally got right with Jesus (ha-ha).
After more than three years of dating, I decided it was time to pop the question. I had a very romantic evening planned. I washed my car, put the ring in my pocket, and picked her up to go to this extremely hip restaurant in Nashville. You’ve probably heard of it—Taco Bell. Okay, I’m kidding (even though chalupas would be plenty romantic to me). After dinner, with the Nashville skyline in full view and a breeze blowing off the Cumberland River, I knelt on one knee and asked her to marry me. Fortunately, this time it didn’t take her four years to say yes.
Consider this: During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom each place a ring on the other’s finger. These rings symbolize the joining of two as they become one in marriage. What if I took off my wedding ring and never wore it again? Would that necessarily mean I’m not devoted to my wife anymore? Of course not. The opposite is true too. Even if I wear my ring until the day I die, it wouldn’t necessarily mean I’m a devoted husband. The thing that unites me to my wife isn’t a piece of jewelry around my finger. It’s commitment.
Think about that word commitment for a minute. What do you think it means to be committed to someone or something?
Here’s what I think the word commitment means:
Believing in and choosing to live for someone or something.
This definition has a two-part requirement:
1. Belief
2. Choice
In my marriage to Amy, I believe in my relationship with her so much that I choose every day to live for it. This means that in moments of disagreement, frustration, or serious heartache, I’m still committed to my wife because I believe in us enough to live for our relationship regardless of the circumstances. The reason many relationships end and marriages deteriorate is that they didn’t begin with a full commitment. There may’ve been a belief in the relationship. But there was never a consistent choice to live for it.
You must be wondering why I’m talking about marriage in a book for teenagers. No, I’m not advocating getting hitched before you graduate high school. (I may be from Tennessee, but I’m not that much of a redneck.) We’ve talked about seeing yourself the way God sees you. We’ve talked about letting him capture you. But there’s another step: commitment. A good relationship between husband and wife requires commitment. And so does your relationship with God.
Andy, a high-school freshman in California, stopped me in the hall at his school after I’d just finished speaking to the entire student body. He said, “You’re a Christian, aren’t you?”
I said, “Why do you ask?”
“I could just tell by what you were saying that you probably believed in God.”
“Yes, I’m a Christian. What about you?”
“I believe in God,” Andy said.
“Okay, but that isn’t what I asked. I asked if you’re a Christian. Do you have a committed relationship with God?”
Andy looked puzzled. He said, “I’m not sure I know what you mean. I believe in God, but I’m not sure I have a relationship with him.”
Andy’s comments reflect a pretty popular way of thinking. There are lots of people who believe in God. You most likely consider yourself to be one of them. But believing in God doesn’t necessarily mean you’re committed to him. The Bible tells us that even Satan believes that God is real. But it’s very clear that Satan doesn’t live his life for God.
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. (James 2:19)
Satan knows that if he can keep you from truly committing your life to God, then he’ll be successful at stopping you from ever becoming the man God made you to be. How does he do this? It’s simple. Satan strives every day to destroy your commitment by convincing you to believe things about God that aren’t true.
What do you believe about God?
Commitment Begins with Believing
To clearly understand this, let’s take one more look at the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis, and this time lets focus on Satan’s role in the story.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ”
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:1–5)
Satan, as the Bible says, is crafty. To be crafty is to “use cunning or trickery to deceive other people.” The Bible’s clear: Satan tricked Adam and Eve. Okay, let’s call it what it is: Satan lied to them. Satan knew what God had just told them in Genesis 2:16–17: “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”
No Belief = No Commitment
Adam and Eve believed God. So Satan slithered into the garden and shook their belief system with a very convincing lie. He destroyed humankind’s relationship with God by changing what they believed about God. Satan’s the enemy, and he’s really good at what he does.
Satans lies continue to this day. Same song, second verse. He lies to you so you’ll believe that:
• “God’s plan for your life is a lie.”
• “You don’t need God.”
• “You can do it on your own.”
• “It’s just sex. What’s the big deal?”
• “You deserve to have everything you want.”
• “Go ahead and take one look. No one’ll know.”
• “You’re in love. Go ahead and sleep with her.”
• “It’s your life. Live it however you want.”
Duh, why didn’t I think of that?Satan’s behind every bad thing that’s ever happened on earth.
Behind every smell, there’s a source.
Behind every untruth, there’s a cover-up.
Behind every sin, there’s an enemy.
Satan is the source, the cover-up, and the enemy.
Satan works hard to change what you believe about God. He knows your beliefs drive your choices and shape your convictions. He knows that if he can change what you believe about God, then it’ll only be a matter of time before this change in what you believe will affect how you live. Obviously, this was the case with Adam and Eve. I doubt they woke up on that particular morning in the Garden of Eden, went for a swim with the dolphins, rubbed their fingers through the mane of a lion, kicked back and drank some coconut milk, and then said, “Let’s choose to disobey God today!”
Nope. Satan waited for the right moment, and then he moved in for the kill. He told the lie. Their belief system changed. This change affected their choices. And the rest is history.
You may be thinking, How could Adam and Eve have been so stupid? They had everything they could ever want and need. All they had to do was not eat from this one tree, and they blew it! It does seem pretty ridiculous, doesn’t it? But don’t we do the same thing? Don’t we want what we’re not supposed to have a lot of the time?
God says in Proverbs 3:5–6:
With all your heart
you must trust the LORD
and not your own judgment.
Always let him lead you,
and he will clear the road
for you to follow. (CEV)
When faced with questions like Adam and Eve, do you seek God’s guidance first?
He also says in Galatians 6:7–8:
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
But how many times have you checked out a picture of a naked girl on the Web? or lied to your parents so you could go somewhere they said you couldn’t go? or drunk a little beer at a party? Those things just seem too good to pass up.
take actionBelieve it by believing:
• God does have a plan for your life.
• You can be the man he wants you to be.
• You can stand strong in a moment of temptation.
• You’re not a sitter.
The point is, you and I know right from wrong. Adam and Eve did too. But often, without even knowing it, we allow Satan to whisper lies convincing us that the thing we believe is right isn’t always the thing we have to do. This is where the second part of the definition of commitment is critical—the choice to live for what you believe.
The great divide between those who believe in God and those who are committed to him is one word: choice.
Commitment = Choosing to Live for What You Believe
In order to become the man God wants you to be, you have to not only believe in God but also choose to live for him. Making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re not committed to God. It’s impossible for you to live a perfect life. But it’s not impossible to live a committed life. However, that won’t happen without your active involvement. This means you have a role to play. You, and only you, are responsible for your choices.
take actionChoose it by choosing to:
• Spend more time in God’s Word.
• Pray that God will shape you into a man of true integrity.
• Avoid hanging out with people who live against God’s will.
• Get back up and try again after failing.
Unfortunately, Satan knows this too. After the lies have been sold, after your belief has changed, and after the sin is committed, you’d think Satan would be satisfied with his successes. But no. He then gets ready to deliver the knockout punch. Once you’re down, Satan wants to keep you there. So once again, the lies begin to fly as Satan invites you into the “neverland”:
• “Look what you’ve done now. God will never love you.”
• “You’ll never get it right. God will never use you.”
• “God will never accept you.”
• “God will never make you into the man he wants you to be.”
• “You’ll always be a sitter. God will never make you a stander.”
And all too often, we choose to buy the lies again. We choose to believe that we’ll never be good enough, never be godly enough, and never become the man God desires.
Is this where Satan has you right now? Just like Adam and Eve, have you bought the lie that God’s way is the wrong way? Or because of something you’ve done wrong in your past, are you trembling under a fig tree, buying the lie that God could never really use you to do something great for him? If so, then you’re choosing to allow God’s work in you to be halted. You’re choosing to let Satan use your past to hold you back and convince you that you can never experience a committed relationship with God.
You’ve got to understand why Satan works so hard to sell you lies. Satan knows the truth about you. We’ve already talked about how God sees the real you, but Satan sees who you are too. He sees your potential and your abilities. He knows God made you, and he knows God never makes a mistake. He clearly understands that you’ve been created for an incredible plan. And he’s scared. More scared than a turkey in November. He’s scared of the man you are and, more importantly, the man you’ll become. He knows that if he can convince you to buy the lies, he can keep you from ever becoming the man God created you to be. And that’ll keep you from influencing others to be followers of Christ too—which means Satan’s killed lots of birds with one stone.
After trying unsuccessfully for almost four years to get Amy’s attention, I could’ve chosen to give up. Instead, I chose to go get that girl and make her mine. Lucky for me, Amy fell and hit her head and developed amnesia. It was during her recovery that I told her we’d been dating for years. She believed me. And every day I wake up with the fear that today might be the day she recovers her memory.
Just kidding. I might’ve been desperate, but not that desperate. I made the choice to pursue Amy. And pursue her. And pursue her. Of course, God’s the reason Amy and I are together now. But the point is, I didn’t give up. I was active. I chose to keep going. Now, I’m not encouraging you to keep asking out a girl who shows you little to no interest. That might be considered stalking. But when it comes to your commitment to God, it might pay to be a little stalkerish. You’ve got to make the choice—and keep making it over and over again. You can believe the lies Satan whispers in your ear and give up. Or you can choose to continue on God’s path and take him at his word when he says:
• “I’ve created you.”
• “You’re my mirror in your world.”
• “You are good.”
• “You’re a man of responsibility.”
• “I can make you a stander for me.”
take actionLive it by living:
• one day at a time, striving to give God more of yourself each day
• to please God over pleasing a friend, a girlfriend, or yourself
• each day as if it were your last
• like everything you do can show God to your world
True commitment to God is all about believing in and choosing to live for him.
Not for the past. Not for where you’ve been or what you’ve done wrong. But for right now. For the future. For the man he made you to be.