Chapter 16

I can’t! He won’t let me near him.”

Ben pulled at his collar, trying to loosen its chokehold. Those further up the food chain had ordered him to find a weak spot among the Paladins for them and he’d done his best, but none of those scary killers were about to get chummy with the likes of him.

Not even that bastard Penn Sebastian, which pissed him off. Who was he to look down his nose at Ben? It was one thing to act all superior when you carried a sword and skewered those freaky Others for kicks. But Penn was out of the game, which made him no better than anyone else—worse, because at least Ben could do the job the Regents paid him to do. It wasn’t their fault that he didn’t make enough to support his gambling habit.

But the voice on the other end of the line clearly didn’t care about any of that. One guard and one Regent had already died for not getting the job done. He needed to keep that in mind.

“All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

Obviously that wasn’t good enough. He held the phone away from his ear and let the man rant some more. More money didn’t matter. No amount was worth losing his life for, but the cold fear in his gut screamed that it was too late to worry about that. Either he roped Penn into spying for them or Ben would die. Trouble was, if Penn wasn’t the weak link they thought he was, Ben would die anyway. It was all a matter of who would make him suffer the most.

He shuddered, knowing he’d done this to himself. “Yes, sir, I understand, sir. I’ll bring him into the fold. I promise. I may need some muscle, though.”

Judging by the immediate offer of names and numbers to call, he’d finally managed to get something right. After a few more last-minute instructions, he hung up. Asking for muscle had been a stroke of genius. Now he just needed a plan for how to use his new assistants.

He couldn’t risk another fiasco like last night. The events of the evening were pretty hazy, but he’d woken up sporting a few bruises he hadn’t had when he’d left work. Memories of the first three bars he’d checked while looking for Penn were crystal clear. It was the fourth one, where he’d finally found the Paladin, where things went to hell.

Sebastian had not been happy to see him; that was certain. If memory served correctly, Penn had gotten up to leave as soon as Ben had arrived. Fear mixed with too many beers had been a bad combination, and Ben suspected he’d shot his mouth off about Lacey Sebastian.

Even if she was boinking the Other, her brother hadn’t wanted to hear about it. If Ben had really said it. He shifted his jaw from one side to the other, wincing at the dull pain. If he really had been stupid enough to say that, he was lucky he was alive.

What he really didn’t remember was driving home or how he’d gotten upstairs into his apartment. A couple of empty bottles by his bed might account for that—not that it mattered. Right now, he needed to formulate a plan to force Penn Sebastian to betray his fellow Paladins.

If he succeeded, it would be one for the history books; there’d never been a breath of scandal connected to the Paladins. But the scam ripping off the blue stones from the Other world could stay hidden for only so long. Eventually, Devlin Bane or one of those other bastards would figure out what was going on and decide to put a stop to it.

And God help them all when that happened.

But for now, Ben needed to figure out how best to use Penn Sebastian’s weak point. As far as Ben knew, the only person Penn cared about was his sister.

If someone were to threaten her, Penn would do anything to keep her safe. Anything. Now Ben just had to find a way to use that bit of information. Maybe he wasn’t a dead man quite yet.

Lacey sighed and leaned into Barak. They seemed incapable of going more than a few minutes without touching, kissing, breathing each other’s air. Out on the edge of the wilderness, they were free to be just another couple. The few people they’d encountered on the way up the mountain had smiled or waved, each intent on their own enjoyment of a beautiful day.

“Kiss me.” She smiled up at him, her eyes full of promised heat.

He tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, basking in her warmth. His lover was a wonderfully demanding woman. As their lips came together, he sought out the sweetness of her mouth with his tongue, pleased with her murmured encouragement as he took on a new energy from his head to his toes. Then the ground rolled under his feet, almost sending him to his knees. He froze, hoping against hope that the sudden surge came from the strength of their shared passion.

But a wise man never lied to himself, especially about something that could get them both killed. He gently broke off the embrace, wishing he could trust Lacey with his secrets. Once she found out, she’d expect him to use his sensitivity to the moods of the mountain to help the Paladins, at the expense of his own kind and his honor.

The dilemma made him sicker than the shifting of stone beneath his feet.

“We’d better be going, don’t you think?” He gave Lacey a gentle push in the right direction: down and away from the mountain’s anger.

“What’s your hurry?” She tried to step right back into his arms.

Desperate times. “The sooner we get back to your place, the sooner we can have some of that leftover lasagna.”

She giggled. “Are you sure that’s all you’re interested in?”

This was no time for teasing, but he couldn’t resist. “Fishing for compliments, Lacey?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Her eyes twinkled with good humor and the satisfaction of a woman who knew her man wanted her.

“All right. If I give you one, will you get moving down the mountain?”

“Yes.” She planted her feet to wait him out.

He pretended to give the matter grave consideration. “Fine. You make great lasagna. Best I’ve ever had.”

Her laughter rang out in the summer air. “Ooooh, you sweet talker. That kind of sweet talk will get you a piece of cold lasagna and not much else.” Then she kissed his cheek and dutifully set off down the path ahead of him, adding a little extra swing to her walk for good measure.

Barak waited until Lacey turned the corner ahead of him before reaching out to touch a nearby boulder, hoping that he was wrong. The connection was always stronger with his eyes closed; the stone immediately told him its truth.

The mountain thrummed with dark energy; it was about to unleash some of its fury by tossing bits of itself down toward the valley below. Barak muttered under his breath, wishing the ground below his feet could be soothed with his words.

But right now, wishes weren’t going to be much help.

He withdrew his contact from the stone and picked up his share of the lab equipment. For the sake of speed, he considered leaving it behind, but that would involve questions he couldn’t answer. By the time he caught up with Lacey, his senses were reeling with the increasing pressure building below his feet.

They weren’t going to make it all the way down in time unless they started running. Did he risk their safety for the sake of his secrets? The question wasn’t even worth considering.

He set down the cooler and toolbox. “Lacey, drop the equipment and start running!”

She looked at him with understandable confusion. “Why would I do that?”

He latched onto the kit in her hand and yanked it away from her. “Drop it and run. I’ll explain later.”

Not that he’d need to. If they didn’t get moving right then, it would be too late for explanations. “Run!”

They’d only gone a short distance when the first surge of energy rolled down from above them, sending a shower of loose gravel skittering past them on the path. “What’s happening?” Lacey cried, but she knew because she finally started running as much as the steep path allowed.

The second wave hit when the trail hit a switchback turn, almost sending the two of them sliding down a steep drop-off. Barak kept to his feet, but Lacey wasn’t so lucky. She fell hard, landing with her ankle twisted underneath her. Barak grabbed her arm and pulled her back from the edge.

It was too late to get away; the next best choice was to get to some cover, away from loose rock and trees that could be uprooted. He hauled Lacey up off the ground, wrapping her arm across his shoulders, and supported her as they stumbled down the path toward a small overhang just ahead. He quickly lowered her back down to shield her body with his. They hugged the rock wall and waited the mountain out.

The next rumble was smaller, pelting them with a stinging spray of small gravel. It quickly faded away. When the mountain remained silent for several minutes, Barak closed his eyes once again and reached out to test the mood of the rock and stone. It was a relief to feel nothing but a faint echo of the last few rocks settling in their new homes.

He slowly sat up and lifted Lacey’s booted foot onto his lap. “Let me check your ankle. Does it feel broken?”

She winced when he moved it gently from side to side. “No, I think it’s just sprained. I should be fine as long as we go slowly.”

She started to stand up, but he stopped her. “Wait here while I go back up for our equipment.”

Maybe if they kept moving, she wouldn’t start to wonder how he’d known when they’d needed to start running to get out of the way of the rockslide. He trudged up the path, knowing each minute he was away from Lacey was time for her to start thinking, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that but hurry.

Their cooler had fallen over but was otherwise unharmed. The toolbox had been knocked open, and a few tools had spilled out. The more fragile equipment that Lacey had been carrying hadn’t fared as well. Two of the meters were now bits of broken plastic and bent wire, having been in the direct path of a rather large boulder. Lacey wouldn’t be pleased about losing two such valuable pieces of equipment, but at least the monitor they’d been carrying was intact.

There was no way he could carry it all and help Lacey walk. He’d have to get her down the trail to her truck and then come back for their gear. She wouldn’t like leaving anything behind, but too bad. Well, the madder she was, the less likely she was to ask too many questions.

His skin itched from a combination of sweat, dust, and fear for what was about to happen. As soon as he made the last turn back to Lacey, he knew that luck wasn’t with him. She had spent the short time he’d been gone adding up details and coming to only one conclusion.

She pushed herself up off the ground. Bracing herself against the overhang, she turned angry blue eyes on him. “You knew, didn’t you? Somehow you felt the earthquake coming long before it hit. That’s why you were trying to hustle me off the mountain.”

The betrayal in her eyes dared him to deny it. He could pretend not to understand, but why bother? “Yes, I knew.”

“How?”

He set the equipment down on the side of the trail. “I won’t answer that. Now, let’s get you out of here.” When he reached out to take her arm again, she jerked away from him even though the sudden movement hurt her.

She fought for balance. “Don’t…touch…me.”

“Lacey, use your head. You can’t make it down from here without help. The rangers won’t appreciate having to come get you just because you’re mad at me.”

“Mad is way too weak a term for what I’m feeling.” She hobbled a few steps away to pick up a tree branch to use as a cane.

“Lacey—”

“No! Damn it, Barak, what goes on out here is my life’s work, not some little hobby. I’ve spent years trying to figure out how to predict earthquakes and eruptions. You’ve been working beside me every day in the lab, watching me beg for enough money to figure out how to make my equipment even one percent more sensitive. And that whole time, you’ve already known the answers to those questions.”

She stumbled on, rage coming off her in waves. “Year upon year, my brothers and his friends have lived on the edge of battle, dying over and over to defend my world. You must think it was a riot watching foolish me trying to keep them safe.”

When a tear trickled down her face, she scrubbed it off with the heel of her hand. “God, I slept with you! My brother’s enemy, and I slept with you! And the sad part is, I thought you were worth the cost.”

Her eyes burned with rage. “And do you know the funny part? I thought you were honorable! Can you imagine?”

Lacey’s pain ripped his heart right out of his chest. Did she think he didn’t understand the cost of sacrifice?

He caught up with his woman and blocked her stumbling rush downhill. “Yes, Lacey, I can feel the rock moving. Yes, I know when the volcano is going to erupt. And yes, before you ask, I sometimes know when and where the barrier is going to fail. And do you know what that knowledge cost me? Everything, Lacey. It cost me everything.”

She flinched, but right now all he wanted was her hatred, because he hated himself as much as she did. “I’ve never told you why I abandoned my home, where my talent was coveted because it helped those who wanted to leave. Fools thought they stood a chance of making it into this world of yours.” He looked around them. “Do you have any idea how it feels to walk in the warmth of this world after living a lifetime in the cold darkness of my own?

“Imagine how proud I was as a young man, knowing I carried this gift, this burden. I was insufferable.” His lungs hurt with the need to lance this festering wound deep inside of him. “But imagine, too, how I felt when I found out that all they faced was certain death. I chose disgrace and refused to use my gift.

“I understand your pain, watching the way your brother’s life must play itself out. But if I would not use my gift for my people, how could I possibly use it for yours?” Then he stepped out of her way and let her pass. Since she wouldn’t allow him to touch her, he picked up her precious equipment and followed her slowly down the mountain.

Lacey put the truck in park and let it idle. The grid-lock on the interstate was the perfect ending to the day. All she wanted was to get Barak out of her truck and out of her life. Instead, they’d been trapped together for an extra hour as traffic had crawled along a few feet at a time.

His betrayal had clawed huge holes inside her that she wasn’t sure would ever heal. She’d given him her body, her heart, and, worst of all, her trust. He knew, he knew, what her work meant to her.

Sure, his secret had cost him, but whatever price he’d paid for withholding his gift from his world had at least been a choice he’d made for himself based on all the facts. That he had also withheld that same information from her, preventing her from making real progress toward saving the Paladins, had been cruel and unfair. If she was being selfish, too bad.

The cars ahead of her started moving again. She waited until they’d moved forward enough to make it worth her time to shift gears. As the highway curved ahead she could see where the tangle of traffic broke free at last. Unless there’d been another accident farther up, they should be on their way at last.

“Drop me at the Center, and I’ll put the equipment away.” Barak made the offer without looking in her direction. “I can walk from there.”

“I don’t want you in my lab again. I can put it away tomorrow.”

“You can hardly walk. This much I will do for you.” His accent was more noticeable, warning her that he was still fighting some pretty strong emotions.

“Fine. Leave the key on the counter on your way out.” She whipped the truck off the highway at the next exit and drove the rest of the way on surface streets. “I’ll see that Ruthie mails you your last check.”

The silence between them felt as if it were sucking the last bit of air out of the truck. The ache in her chest only got worse when they reached the end of their journey together. Barak quietly got out of the truck and unloaded the equipment. Before she could pull away, he approached the driver’s side window.

Refusing to roll it down would be childish and immature, but right now she couldn’t bear the pain of talking to him, of trying to make plans for tomorrow without him, of trying to explain to everybody why he was no longer welcome in her lab.

There were bound to be questions, ones neither of them would want to answer. She drove home, thinking no further ahead than a hot shower and crying herself to sleep.

“Meet me at the gym. Now.”

Barak immediately disconnected the call, not giving Devlin any choice but to do as he asked. The phone immediately began ringing, but Barak ignored it as he picked up the last of his equipment and walked out the door.

If he didn’t find a handy target for all of this rage, he was going to do something stupid. Like crawl back to Lacey’s house and promise her anything if she would only find it in her heart to let him back into her life. He’d been holding onto his honor for so long because it was all he had left. But without her, his honor was cold company.

He could not regret the time they had spent in each other’s arms, but how was he to go on knowing exactly what he had lost?

He would do one last favor for Devlin, crossing back into the darkness, but there would be one small change in the plans. Once he convinced his sister that she needed to cooperate with the Paladins in this one matter, he would surrender himself to the authorities of his world. With luck, the standing order for his execution would be carried out swiftly.

He was relieved to see Devlin waiting for him in the gym. In other times and places, he would have deemed himself fortunate to count Devlin Bane as a friend. And if a man could be judged by the strength and honor of his enemy, then Barak was indeed fortunate.

He walked up to the Paladin, wishing things could have turned out differently. “One last match before I carry out my mission for you?”

Bane stared at him for several long seconds, probably seeing far too much. At least he didn’t ask any questions.

“Sure. I could use a good workout.”

Inside, the two of them stripped down to their sweatpants and drew their swords, this time using the real thing. Barak offered a salute, then charged with no warning, no warm-up, no caution. Bane danced back out of reach long enough to find his balance, then went on the attack. Barak was dimly aware of several other Paladins lining up along the walls, careful to remain out of the way as they called out words of encouragement. Most spoke for Devlin, but one or two cheered when Barak scored a good hit.

The scent of so many of his enemies in one room filled Barak’s head, overwhelming his usual caution in a practice bout. He caught a glimpse of the two of them in a mirror along the wall and realized that they were both grinning as they pulled out the stops and fought full out.

Bane finally got in a lucky parry and wrenched Barak’s sword out of his hand, sending it clattering across the floor. Barak charged forward, ready to take on his opponent with his bare hands.

Devlin retreated, giving Trahern and D.J. a chance to wrestle Barak to the ground. He fought them both, succeeding in flinging D.J. off to the side, but Trahern managed to pin him to the floor, his heavy knee on Barak’s chest.

Devlin gasped out orders to the rest of the spectators. “You all have something better to do than watch us. This is between me and him.”

When the gym emptied out, Trahern slowly let off the pressure. “I’m going to stand up now, Other. Don’t make me show you which of us is gonna win this.”

Barak nodded, knowing his fight wasn’t with Trahern or even Devlin Bane. He closed his eyes and waited for his lungs to catch up with his need to breathe. Devlin gave him all the time he needed. When Barak slowly sat up, Bane tossed him a bottle of water.

“Now, you want to tell me what the hell that was all about?”

“No.” He gulped down half the bottle of water. As long as he was drinking, he couldn’t answer questions.

Devlin hunkered down beside him. “When are you going down to the tunnels to wait for the barrier to blink?”

“When I leave here.”

“That’s sooner than I expected.” Devlin allowed a few seconds to pass. “What happened to change your plans?”

Barak kept his eyes on the far wall, avoiding direct eye contact. Devlin was far too talented at reading those around him.

“I don’t see the need to delay. The longer I wait, the more of my people die on your swords.” And he felt the weight of each and every one of those lost souls. That was his burden to bear, and he had no right to ask Devlin to share it.

“I got a call from Lacey right after your invitation to meet you here.” Devlin shifted so that he could look Barak right in the eyes. “She says I can borrow you indefinitely. In fact, permanently.”

Damn. He’d hoped she would wait until at least morning when she would have better control of her emotions. Devlin had obviously not appreciated either phone call.

“I think I will do well working in the laundry, don’t you?” Barak managed a small smile. “Do you like your socks folded or rolled?”

“Damn it, Barak, that’s not funny! You know that as soon as Laurel finds out that Lacey has cut you loose, she’s going to start pushing to get you back in her lab.” Devlin shoved his fingers through his shaggy hair. “Neither of us wants that to happen.”

“It won’t be a problem.” That was true, but it was also the wrong thing to say.

“Barak, what aren’t you telling me? I’d bet my last dollar that Lacey had been crying, and you look like you died two days ago. What the hell happened between the two of you? I can’t fix the problem if I don’t know what it is.”

“This can’t be fixed, Devlin, so don’t try. Lacey doesn’t deserve to have my name linked with hers. You said so yourself.” He choked down the rest of his water.

“What the hell do I know? I didn’t think Laurel needed me in her life either, and look how far I got with that.” He chuckled. “I keep waiting for her to realize I was right, but I’m sure not going to be the one to tell her.”

“Laurel is an intelligent woman, Devlin. She knows she is destined to be your mate. You make her happy.”

“I drive her crazy.”

“That, too.” Barak pushed himself up off the floor. “Don’t push Lacey on this, Devlin.”

Devlin took Barak’s empty bottled and crushed it. “I don’t take orders very well, Other. Especially from you.”

“Then pretend I’m a friend and asking a favor.” Barak picked up his father’s sword and held it up to catch the light. He had no male heir to pass it along to, but his sister would use it with the honor it deserved. The idea felt right.

Bane’s big hand came down on Barak’s sword arm. “As a favor for a friend, then, I won’t press Lacey. Let’s hit the showers, and over dinner we’ll make final plans for your crossing back to the other side.”

The Paladin’s words lessened the darkness surrounding Barak. “Sounds good. I’ll even buy.”

Lacey felt like death warmed over. Her head hurt to the point of nausea, and her eyes were swollen shut from crying. She considered drinking herself into a complete stupor, but nothing was more pathetic than a weepy drunk, unless it was a weepy drunk throwing up. Now there was a pitiful image.

She wrapped a towel around her hair and pulled on her favorite faded sweats. They were ragged in places and deserved to be retired, but they were too comfortable to give up. And right now, comfort was what she needed.

Barak. Even his name was enough to send pain tearing through her, almost crippling in its intensity. She’d made it through three hours now without him; that just left the rest of her life. Maybe she should make herself a chart and cross off each hour until they blurred.

When would his loss and betrayal stop hurting? A week? A year? An eternity?

She grabbed a tissue to mop up another bout of tears. This was so stupid. She hadn’t known him all that long. But she had known him well—or at least fooled herself into thinking so, right up until she’d found out that he already knew the answers to all of her questions about the nature of the barrier and the things that triggered its periodic failures.

Maybe with a night’s rest she’d be better equipped to figure out where they would go from here. Not that they were going anywhere, at least together. Her boss might not appreciate her unilateral decision, but she was willing to go to the mat on this one.

Budget or no budget, Barak was history. Gone. Finished. Missed.

She wadded up the tissue and tossed it in the direction of the wastebasket, then headed for bed.

One step inside her bedroom made her spin around and head for the couch in the living room. No way she was going to sleep in the tangle of sheets that still carried Barak’s scent.

She stuck in a random DVD and turned on the television. The local anchorman was talking about the earthquake, saying it had been felt as far away as Spokane but that no injuries had been reported. Evidently broken hearts didn’t count.

The movie finally started. As the credits began to roll, she realized she’d picked Beauty and the Beast. Now there was a nice touch of irony. She doubted she was much of a beauty right now, but Barak definitely was a beast. She’d reached out to him, accepted him as both friend and lover, and he’d betrayed that trust.

He had good reasons for keeping his secrets, and she could understand his torn loyalties, but how could they share any kind of relationship if she couldn’t trust him to tell her the simple truth about who and what he was?

She drew a shuddering breath. To give him some credit, he had tried to warn her off, but she’d refused to listen. Why hadn’t she pressed him harder for information about his world and why he’d left it?

She nursed her anger. If she let herself waver for an instant, she’d start siding with him. Granted, she’d never been involved in such an intense relationship before, but he was in a strange world with strange customs. There had to be so much about his new life that he found bewildering.

But values like trust and honesty had to cross boundaries, and if she couldn’t have that with the man she loved, then all they had left was a relationship built on hormones. Her eyes wandered toward her bedroom door. Those had been some pretty powerful hormones, but they weren’t enough, not by a long shot.

She tucked the afghan around her feet, feeling chilled through to her soul. It was going to be a long, lonely night, and tomorrow wasn’t looking any better. Resolutely closing her eyes, she concentrated on unknotting the tangle of nerves twitching in her stomach.

Why had she never noticed how uncomfortable this couch was? No matter which way she turned, she couldn’t find a position that allowed her any comfort. Maybe she’d be better off sleeping on the twin bed in the guestroom. She’d have to clear off the boxes of Christmas decorations she’d never gotten around to putting in the attic, but that wouldn’t take long.

Before she could get that far, though, the phone rang, shrill and piercing. With her heart in her throat, she counted off the rings until her answering machine would pick up. If it was Penn calling, she’d answer. Her throat felt like ten miles of bad road, but she’d convince him she was catching a cold so he wouldn’t come charging over to check on her. If it was Devlin calling her back, she’d tell him to back off and leave her alone before disconnecting.

But no, of course it wasn’t either of them. Barak’s voice echoed in the hollow emptiness of her heart. The rough sound of his words built up pressure inside of her until she thought her head would explode. It was such a temptation to pick up the phone, to let him explain, to grasp at whatever excuses he might offer up to soothe her pain.

But even though she was not a Paladin, she found her own warrior’s strength and held back. Or maybe she was a coward for not answering. She heard his words and then the sound of his ragged breath as he waited for her to respond.

When she didn’t, he sighed, a wealth of regret and pain in the sound. “Lacey, I am sorry. I wish it could have been different—that I could have been different.”

Another pause stretched on until her resolve threatened to snap before he finally said, “I hope that someday you will look back at…at what we…and remember some of it without regret. Good-bye.”

Then he hung up and she cried.