I open my eyes the next morning and immediately confusion enters my mind. Where am I?
Then it all comes rushing best and I sigh with exhaustion, closing my eyes once more. After my sobfest yesterday, I napped and woke up to Chinese takeout and awful 80’s movies with my best friend. Laurelin is an amazing woman, and was there to support me one hundred percent, which I’ll be eternally grateful for.
“Good morning, sunshine!” I hear from across the room. I roll over and smile blearily. My buddy is standing next to the window, the baby in one arm as she snaps open the blinds with the other.
“You look like such a natural with Jamie, Laure,” I say. “Just watching you with him makes me want to smile and cry at the same time.”
She grins at me and pulls her focus back to the sweet boy in her arms. “He’s a pretty amazing kid, and he makes it really easy to love being a mommy.”
I sigh. At that moment, my own situation comes rolling back and the tears start afresh. Goddammit. I still can’t process the place I’m in. I’m not sad because I’ve lost Danny, if I’m being honest with myself. He wasn’t that great of a catch and I wasn’t swept away by his looks or personality. It’s more that I’m sad because I’ve lost the last three years building a relationship with a man who cheated on me. That time I can never get back, and I’m mourning the loss, not to mention the fact that I’d love to have a baby of my own and seem further from that goal than ever.
“I’m better today,” I reassure my friend through the last fit of tears.
She smiles.
“Of course you are! The sun is shining!”
I smile blearily.
“Yeah, you’re right. It just sucks that I lost three years of my life! Well, that and the fact that I’ve been dumped for a college freshman. Ugh. I wonder if she’s even gotten her period yet.”
Laurelin rolls her eyes while jiggling the baby.
“She’s not that young.”
I pout.
“You’re right, but still. Maybe she still uses Tampax for Teens instead of the real thing. Work with me here!”
My friend just laughs.
“No, it’s fine, and don’t you dare feel guilty about the time and effort you put into the relationship. Danny was just blah, if I’m being honest with you. Never super bad, but not super amazing either.”
Then, my blonde friend maneuvers Jamie more securely over her shoulder and begins to burp him. As if on cue, the adorable child lets out a huge belch.
“Oooh, that was big,” I comment.
“I know, right?” Laurelin giggles. “My baby’s like an old man sometimes.”
But then, my gut clenches.
“Speaking of age: according to the man whose name we won’t mention, I need to hurry up and find someone to settle down with. He said something about my ovaries drying up, my eggs running out, and me becoming withered and aged in general. Isn’t that so rude?” I roll my eyes and try not to half-gag, half-cry as I remember the awful exchange from yesterday.
“Oh my God, he actually said that bullshit to you?” my buddy gags. “Seriously, we should do something nasty to him. The voodoo doll isn’t going to cut it.”
I shake my head with disgust.
“He did, but I guess I should count myself lucky. I mean, better I find out his real feelings now, rather than after we’re married.”
My blonde friend nods furiously.
“You are so right. God, can you imagine having to deal with him in a divorce or custody settlement? You dodged a bullet.” She shivers and lets out a noise of disgust.
I laugh and say, “You know I love you, right?”
Laurelin grins.
“Yes of course, and that means mission accomplished. I got you to smile, so my job is done for the day.” She winks at me and then adds, “I’m going to put this little stinker down for his morning tummy time. You coming with? Or do you need to get home?”
I flop back on the guest bed and blow out a breath. “I need to get home, shower, and get my life back on track. And I need to talk to my mom. My guess is that I’ve already missed a couple of calls from her.”
Laurelin giggles because she’s met my mom before and they get along like two peas in a pod.
“Well, tell the lovely Mina Champion I said hello, will you?” With that, my best friend winks and leaves me to pull myself together. Slowly, I get up and gather my things, puttering about while still feeling sorry for myself. There is indeed a text from my mom, and I glance at it half-heartedly.
Mom: Hi, honey. I called you about an hour ago, but you didn’t answer. Just checking on you. Give me a ring when you can.
I press the button to call, and she picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, sweetie.”
“Hey, Mom.” I try to hide the sadness in my voice, but she’s too experienced in the ways of all things Rachel to let it slide.
“What’s wrong with my girl? What happened hon?”
I inhale deeply and hold it in for a few seconds. As I release the air, I decide to bite the bullet and be blunt. “Danny dumped me yesterday. For someone else. An eighteen year old freshman, to be exact.”
Silence greets me from the other end of the call. Nothing but crickets for what felt like an eternity, until -- “What?”
I pull the phone away from my ear at the volume of her voice and cringe. I’d hate to be Danny if Mom ever ran into him on the street.
“Yup,” I say tonelessly. “I met him for lunch yesterday to talk about possibly getting engaged, but he pulled the rug out from under me. In fact, he’s already met someone else!”
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry,” Mina gushes. “It’s for the better, and to be honest, your dad and I never liked Danny. He was okay, but that’s it. My girl deserves better than okay. She deserves amazing!”
I swallow heavily.
“Thanks Mom. It just sucks, that’s all.”
But Mina immediately turns around, determined to help me.
“You know what you need, honey? A bit of R&R. New York City is always go-go-go, but that’s not what my baby needs right now. Why don’t you take a vacation? Can Birthing Babies spare you?”
I swallow. I love being a doula, and am eternally grateful that I own my own business.
“Yes, I suppose so. Maybe for a week or two.”
I can almost hear Mina nodding.
“Well, why don’t you go up to the cottage then? Westchester is really close, and the cottage is available. Nobody's there right now, and the peace and quiet are exactly what you need.” Mina’s voice is hopeful because she knows it’s hard for me to get away, but my mom also knows that I need it.
After a few minutes, I exhale. The cottage in Mamaroneck is small and humble, but it’s nice too. It’s right on the Long Island Sound, so there’s sun, sand and the waves of the ocean ringing in your ears. In short, it sounds like pure bliss.
“You know what, Mom? That sounds like a great idea. Let me tie up some loose ends and get my staff prepared for me to take some time to myself. I’ll swing by for the keys on my way out of town?”
I hear her hands clap together as Mina cries, “Perfect! Treat yourself, sweetie. You deserve it after the drama you’ve been through.”
With that, we hang up and I smile for the first time in what feels like ages. A vacation is exactly what I need, and getting away to a restful, relaxing beach house would be perfect right about now.