The gas incident had been a precarious one, and K.T. was grateful the injuries hadn’t been any worse. Per the doctor, Will and the three crewmen would recover with no lasting effects.
He wasn’t so lucky. The lasting effects on him were from Wendy. He’d never forget how she’d been trembling from head to toe when she’d wrapped her arms around him. That had confirmed what he’d already known. He’d let this go on too long. Let it go too far.
Yet, what had his reaction to that been? He’d hugged her, then asked her to accompany him, not only to the hospital, but to Will’s house afterward. He’d told himself it was because he hadn’t known what else to do. She wasn’t one to indulge in theatrics. Her actions, her worry about him, and her trembling, had been authentic.
He couldn’t have ignored that any more than he could ignore how it had felt holding her close. At that moment, having her in his arms had made him feel whole, complete. Like everything was right in the world.
But it wasn’t.
Very little was right in the world right now. They were in the midst of a world war.
He was in the midst of an inner war, too. The person he used to be, the one who had thought he’d been in love with his childhood sweetheart for years, was fighting with the person he’d become, the one who had discovered a new kind of love. A kind that had struck so hard and fast, he was still questioning if it was true.
A part of him was questioning that. The other part of him knew what he felt for Wendy went beyond anything he’d ever known.
And that all led to one conclusion.
It didn’t matter if there was barracks housing, where other men lived with their wives and families or not, or numerous other things, because it all came down to him. That part of him hadn’t changed. He couldn’t commit to Wendy any more than he’d been able to commit to Betty. It wasn’t right to expect anyone to be waiting on him when there was a chance that he wouldn’t return. His father had told him about the risks of that, and he’d witnessed them himself.
Furthermore, Wendy didn’t want to be waiting on anyone, and didn’t want them waiting on her. All she wanted was to be friends, to have fun. He was the one that was taking friendship too far.
All of that had come to him after he’d dropped Wendy off at her barracks, where she’d practically leaped out of the jeep and run to the door as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.
They had spent about an hour at Will’s house, where she’d visited with Anda and the baby, while he and Will had talked about the Nevada. The ship would need more work than could be accomplished here. Once in dry dock, she’d be repaired enough to make the trip to the mainland and undergo a complete overhaul and modernization there.
He would ask to go with the ship.
Never in his life would he have thought he’d base his actions, his duties, on a woman, but that was exactly what he was doing. Running away from her, because deep down, he knew he could never just be her friend.
He’d come too close to kissing her today.
Forgetting all the consequences and really kissing her. It would have been easy. Too easy, and that wasn’t him. War couldn’t change him that much.
Nothing could.
Early the next morning, he went to the hospital, knowing it was Wendy’s day off. Both Nurse Manning and Dr. Bloomberg examined him and determined bandages were no longer necessary. His burns were no longer painful, but they gave him a supply of ointment for him to apply as needed, mainly to keep the skin supple as it continued to heal. All in all, that felt like the confirmation that he’d needed to convince him that he was doing the right thing.
Part of the right thing included not seeing Wendy for any reason. He’d tried ignoring her before, which hadn’t been easy, but this time, he’d make it work.
By working.
The Nevada needed his attention, and that’s where he kept it. Even on his days off, he was on the ship, overseeing the endless work of getting her afloat. By the following Friday, he geared up to dive for the first time in three months, since that fateful day back in early December.
The weight of the diving gear felt good. He was ready for normalcy to fully return.
Any serious leak could send the ship back to the bottom of the harbor, and he refused to allow that to happen. He personally inspected every bulkhead, hatch, and patch, before okaying the ship be connected to two tugboats to bring her across the harbor to dry dock.
It was a short trip in distance, yet long in other ways. He kept a vigilant eye on the ship as she moved slowly across the water, and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the trip ended.
A crowd had gathered at dry dock two, cheering as the ship arrived. Though K.T. was exhilarated and accepted congratulations from Captain Heinz, he couldn’t deny a sense of absence deep inside.
Of happiness.
Of Wendy.
He missed the mornings when he’d told her about the recovery efforts and the work that was being undertaken each day, and knew she’d have been cheering louder than others had she been in attendance.
“Your day is done,” Captain Heinz said. “The dock crew will take her from here. You’ve done a hell of a job, Lieutenant. What do you say we round up the crews and take them to the Monkey Bar?”
K.T. appreciated Captain Heinz’s style. He was a true leader who expected hard work and success, but he also knew the men needed to be able to celebrate accomplishments. “Sounds good to me.”
The crowd around them cheered louder, then, within seconds, men were racing for their barracks to shower and change. They all deserved a bit of celebrating after what they’d completed the past two weeks.
“I’ll have some boats rounded up over by the sub base,” Captain Heinz said. “The men won’t have to worry about curfew.”
K.T.’s thoughts instantly went to the race he and Wendy had participated in in order to reach the base before curfew. “They’ll appreciate that,” he answered. Boats were on the harbor around the clock and weren’t patrolled for curfew like the roads. It was assumed anyone on the water had a pass from their supervisor. Heinz was the supervisor for the recovery crews, and was the one providing the boats, which was as close to a pass as any of them would get.
Captain Heinz slapped his shoulder. “See you there.”
K.T. agreed and took his jeep to the barracks, where he showered, dressed in his uniform whites, and walked along with the rest of his unit to the submarine base, where a total of five runabout boats were moored to the long dock.
Within minutes all five boats were full of men and motoring around Ford Island toward Pearl City.
The joviality was high, and grew even more as they tied the boats to the several small docks that belonged to the Monkey Bar a short distance up the beach.
George greeted them all as old friends, and once again, K.T. thought of Wendy when the bottles of beer kept being handed out. Evidently, prohibition still hadn’t hit the Monkey Bar.
In no time, the jukebox was busy eating coins and spitting out music. K.T. made his way around the room and tables, thanking men for their hard work and taking time to laugh at a few jokes and clink their bottles together in cheers of congratulations.
His thoughts were back on Wendy and he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever stop missing her. Not just while here, but years from now, when life was back to normal. Would memories pop up of her and the dance contest, the hospital, the race against the curfew, and would they make him happy or sad? Contemplating if he’d want those memories to make him happy, because there was enough sadness about the attack that he didn’t want to remember, he walked through the open flap and out onto the lanai.
It was still early, not even five yet, and figuring he might as well get comfortable because it would be a long time before any of the men were ready to leave, he found himself a cane-backed chair under a palm tree a few steps away from the stone lanai and set his beer on the table next to it.
Another boat had moored at one of the docks and men were walking along the beach, laughing and joking with each other. K.T. knew he could go inside and join the conversations happening at the tables, but that, too, would remind him of Wendy, so he might as well sit here and think about her. About how he was doing the right thing. How cutting ties with her was the smart thing to do. If he accidently bumped into her between now and when he left with the Nevada in a few weeks, he’d say hi, explain how busy he was getting the ship ready to take to the mainland.
He’d tell her that’s what he was doing. Heading back stateside with the Nevada. Captain Heinz had already approved it. Had thanked him for volunteering for the assignment, since he now knew that boat as well as her crew did, and his skills could very well be needed during the voyage.
Once stateside, he’d telephone home. That was allowed only for high level emergencies from here, but on the West Coast, he’d be able to call, make up for the letters he hadn’t written. Make up for the ones he hadn’t mailed, either. There were two addressed to Betty in his desk drawer. He still cared about her, and hated the idea of hurting her. He would call her, too, talk to her. That would be better than a letter.
It was Wendy that he didn’t have a solution for. Even while he was in California, she’d still be on his mind. In his heart.
Wendy scanned the room the moment she walked into the Monkey Bar, but didn’t see K.T. at any of the tables. The establishment was full of men dressed in white, some wearing hats and blue neck scarves, some not, but her intuition told her he wasn’t amongst any of them even before her eyes did.
Disappointment made her hold in a sigh, even as she told herself it was for the best. She’d spent a lot of hours contemplating many things the past week, and although she hadn’t come to any firm conclusions, she needed to show him the letter in her purse.
Not the letter that she’d kept hidden from him for months. That one she’d give him right before she boarded the Solace in a few weeks. She’d started to wish that Betty would write him again, or that a member of his family would say something about it in a letter, which was as wrong for her to wish as keeping the letter from him. All the justifications she’d come up with, were just that. Justifications. She was so afraid of following in her mother’s footsteps, of falling in love and being abandoned, that she’d kept the letter from him. Deep down, she must have thought that would keep him from falling in love with her, or her from falling in love with him. Either way, it didn’t make any sense. And now, deep down, she was afraid that once she gave him the letter, he’d never want to see her again.
The official request from the Solace for volunteers hadn’t been released yet, nor had she asked Gloria about it, but she was certain it would happen, and just as certain that she would be permitted to go.
The letter in her purse was from her cousin. Sid specifically stated that she should tell K.T. that a deal had been struck. Oil had been found on his family’s land and Sid’s letter assured her it was a win-win agreement for both the family and the oil company. His family might have written him, but Sid’s letter said he had permission from K.T.’s family to share the details with her and for her to share with him. She could have just sent the letter to his barracks.
Giving it to him was an excuse to see him, she was sure of that. But it was also a test. Over the past week of not seeing him, she’d convinced herself that she wasn’t truly in love with him. She just liked him more than others, and would get over it in time. She had to, because she had never wanted to love any man and now wasn’t the time for that to change.
“Aloha, Nurse Smith! Torpedo juice?” George asked as he waved at her from behind the bar.
“Yes, please,” she answered, surprised that he remembered her, the place was so full of people.
“I have to get a closer look at those monkeys,” Anda said. “Will, get me a soda pop, I’ll be around the corner.”
Will shrugged and grinned. “She didn’t believe me when I told her about them, and I think she thought you were kidding, too.”
“That could be,” Wendy said, watching Anda walk around the end of the bar, and wondering what she should do now that K.T. wasn’t here.
“Here’s your juice,” George said, handing over a glass with a straw, “and here’s another beer for K.T. He’s been out on the lanai for a while and probably needs a refill.”
Her heart did a somersault, and she clutched the glass and the bottle tighter to make sure they didn’t slip out of her hands.
“I need a bottle of beer and a soda pop,” Will told George. “And I’ll pay for those two drinks.”
George nodded.
Will looked at her. “Take it out to K.T. Figures he’d be out there—he’s not much into socializing. Never has been.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I’ll pay you back.”
“No,” Will said. “They are on me. I owe both you and K.T. more than a drink.”
Leaving it at that, she turned and walked through the room to where the canvas flaps were drawn back. There were several people on the lanai, in groups, talking and laughing, and it wasn’t until she stepped outside that she saw K.T. seated beneath a palm tree.
As much as she’d told herself that she didn’t love him, that she didn’t want to love him, her body once again defied her by tingling from head to toe, indicating that every part of her was drawn to him, excited to see him. That certainly never happened when she saw anyone else.
He turned his head, as if hearing her approach, and his look of surprise made her smile. Even knowing all she did, she was happy to see him.
“Will bought you a beer,” she said, holding out the bottle as she arrived near his chair.
He’d stood, and for a moment, didn’t say anything, just stared at her as if he wasn’t sure what to say. Taking the beer, he said, “Thanks. Is that how you got here? With Will?”
Because she was taking a sip from the straw in her drink she nodded, and swallowed. “Yes, I was at his house when Scott stopped by and invited them to join the rest of you celebrating the Nevada’s arrival at dry dock. Congratulations. You must be happy about that.”
“Thanks. We all are.”
She took another sip of her drink while he tipped his bottle to his mouth. “I...uh... I offered to stay and watch Pearl so Anda could come here with Will, but their neighbor Alice was at their house, too. Her husband won’t be off work until curfew, so she said she’d watch Pearl, and Will and Anda asked me to join them.” Rather than explain she’d been at Will and Anda’s house, hoping to learn when his next day off might be, she said, “I was hoping you’d be here because I have something you need to read.”
He lifted a brow. “What?”
“A letter from my cousin Sid. I’m not sure if you’d heard yet, about the surveying company.”
He nodded. “Got a letter from my mother the other day, saying they were surveying the property.”
Withholding the need to ask if his mother had mentioned anything else in her letter, she set her glass on the table between the two chairs and slid the handles of her purse off her wrist. Opening the clasp, she took out the letter. “Here, he explains it better than I can.”
K.T. took the letter and waved a hand for her to sit in one of the chairs. He sat in the other chair and read. “I’ll be,” he said quietly while flipping the single page over to read the back side of it. “This sounds almost too good to be true.”
“Sid isn’t the type to exaggerate,” she assured him. “Uncle Sy calls Sid a straight shooter, says he tells the truth even when those listening don’t want to hear it.” She swallowed a sigh, thinking that she should be more like Sid, then continued, “That’s what makes him such a good lawyer. That and his ability to argue even the finest points.” For no reason other than to assure him of Sid’s thoroughness, she added, “Sid went over my Red Cross enrollment agreement with a fine-tooth comb before he gave it his approval. He even crossed out things and made me initial them.”
She swallowed, remembering how Sid had pointed out the stipulation that if a Red Cross nurse wanted to get married, she’d have to forfeit the rest of her time with the agency. That had been fine with her then, for she’d had no plans of ever getting married. She didn’t now, either.
“It sounds like he was just as thorough with this agreement.” K.T. shook his head. “This could be a real windfall for my folks. Their financial worries could be over. Forever.” He held the letter toward her. “That wouldn’t have been possible without you, Wendy. Without you writing to Sid and him agreeing to help my folks.”
Happiness flared inside her for him and his family. She took the letter, tucked it inside her purse, and set her purse on the ground.
“I don’t know how I can ever thank you for that,” he said.
She didn’t need any thanks, but knowing him and his sense of responsibility, she glanced toward the open flap, where a few couples were dancing to the jukebox music. It would probably be best if she just left now, but this could be the last time she’d see him before leaving on the Solace. Having convinced herself that easily, she said, “You could dance with me, Oklahoma. Make this a real celebration.”
He looked at her for a few stilled moments before his smile grew into a laugh and he held out a hand. “I can do that, Nebraska.”
She laid her hand in his, and her heart had never felt more full as he led her across the lanai and onto the dance floor. There, she was transported back in time, to the dance contest, and once again became Ginger Rogers and he was her Fred Astaire. A complete fantasy, where she had no worries or fears. Was free to just dance.
There was no contest this time, so after a few dances that had held enough dips and twirls to make her dizzy—if she hadn’t already been dizzy with pure and simple happiness—they joined a table of companions to laugh, drink, and laugh some more, before making their way back onto the dance floor again.
When they needed to catch their breath after a few more dances, they walked out onto the lanai, where K.T. introduced her to Captain Heinz.
“It’s nice to meet you, Nurse Smith,” the captain, who wasn’t much taller than her and didn’t have a single strand of hair on his head, said. “I’m honored.”
“As am I, Captain Heinz,” she replied. “Congratulations for bringing the Nevada into dry dock.”
“The congratulations all belong to Lieutenant McCallister,” Captain Heinz replied, setting a hand on K.T.’s shoulder. “With his leadership, we’re going to see every damaged ship back on the water in record time.” With a wink, the captain added, “I won’t let California keep him. I’ve already made that perfectly clear.”
Wendy was confused by the comment, but didn’t have time to dwell on it, because Captain Heinz was still talking. “George just had a buffet set up. Let’s go see what he’s feeding us tonight.”
Back inside, a buffet table had been set up and hosted a variety of pork, chicken, fish, rice, vegetables, and fruits. Which made her wonder. “Has George not been affected by the rations?” she asked K.T. as they dished food onto their plates.
“I think George has his own suppliers that he’s not telling anyone about,” K.T. answered.
“Is that possible?” she asked.
K.T. shrugged. “It’s happened before, and no one here is going to complain.”
Agreeing with that, she scooped a fish filet onto her plate, and thought of the IOU note she still had, for them to go fishing. That wasn’t likely to happen now, but it would have been fun. Everything was fun with him.
They found a place to sit at a table with others, and someone brought up the fish and fishing. That caused a round of fish tales from their companions. She laughed at the stories of unbelievable large fish and ones that got away, until her stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing.
The bell rang while they were still eating, and Wendy set down her fork along with others.
K.T. laid a hand on her wrist. “You can finish eating.” He then said to Will, “Wendy will catch a ride back with me.”
“Aye, aye,” Will said, as he and several others headed for the door.
“We don’t want to be caught out after curfew,” she said to K.T., while observing that a large number of people hadn’t left.
“Boats don’t have to be off the water by seven forty-five,” he said.
She frowned. “So?”
“That’s how we got here. Don’t worry. I’ll have you inside by nine.”
If he wasn’t worried, she wasn’t going to be, either, and finished her meal, before they hit the dance floor again.
The twirling and dipping, high step-kicking, and two-step sashaying across the floor once again made her feel as if she was floating on air. It was unimaginable to believe life could get any better than it was at that moment.
Except for one thing.
The desire to kiss him was so strong inside her, that she feared she might keel over from the want. It was all she could think about. All she could imagine.
If she hadn’t withheld the letter from him, that might have happened, but now it never would.
K.T. hadn’t forgotten his plan of cutting things clean with Wendy; he was just postponing it. Giving himself one last time with her, and when the second bell rang, he knew it was time for it to end.
It was a sobering thought, but one he accepted nonetheless.
“Time to hit the water, boys!” he shouted.
Outside, Wendy collected her purse from the chairs near the palm tree and he took count of the men in his charge as the crowd made their way down to the docks. Spirits were still high, and assuming the ride to the base would be a fast one, he secured a spot for him and Wendy near the bow of the boat, where it wouldn’t be as rough nor would she get wet from the spray of water that would soon be everywhere.
Every boat held more passengers than on the way over, filled with those who hadn’t wanted to leave upon the first bell. Tomorrow morning would see people rushing to the Monkey Bar to collect the vehicles left behind tonight.
The boat race that soon ensued wasn’t the same as when they’d been in the jeep. This time the boats were fanned out, rather than following each other, and the drivers had an entire load of people shouting and cheering to be the first ones around Ford Island and through the East Loch to the submarine base.
Once again, K.T.’s need to be responsible played havoc inside him. He kept his arm around Wendy, holding her in her seat as they bounced over waves and swerved when other boats got too close. She was laughing and cheering along with the rest, encouraging Adam to drive faster.
K.T. kept his mouth shut, letting the others enjoy the race. It helped to know that this part of the water was free from debris and protected so they didn’t have to worry about rogue waves.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off Wendy, nor his mind from wondering if someday, when things were different, after the war and after she’d seen the world, if they would meet up again. That could be years from now, but a deep sense of knowing told him that what he felt for her would still be there. His feelings were too strong to ever fade. He couldn’t say anything about it, though, because she didn’t want anyone waiting on her, and that, too, he fully understood.
Like she had at the table earlier, when fish tales were flying, she was laughing so hard she was holding her stomach when the boat finally came to a stop.
“That was the best boat ride I’ve ever been on!” she exclaimed.
Others in the boat agreed with clapping and cheering.
K.T. shook his head, even as a deep part of him knew life with her would be an adventure every day. Because she would make it be that way.
She continued to laugh, and joke along with others as they walked in a large group toward the barracks. The sentries manning the guns on the rooftops could see them due to the moonlight, but he still stopped long enough to obtain a flashlight before beginning their walk to her barracks.
“I feel like I’m sneaking around after dark when I shouldn’t be,” she whispered as they walked.
“Because you are,” he whispered in return.
She giggled. “We are.” Her sigh echoed in the quiet night air. “Thank you. This was such a fun night.”
“You weren’t afraid during that boat ride, were you?”
“No. Why would I have been afraid? I know how to swim, but even if I didn’t, I was surrounded by seamen, including a navy diver.” She looked at him. “You would have saved anyone who went overboard.”
He nodded, accepting her belief. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he said, flashing his light briefly at the corners of the building they were approaching. “Thanks for showing me your cousin’s letter. I still can’t believe it. My folks must be jumping for joy.”
“I bet your sister Mavis is,” Wendy said. “Now she’ll be able to afford to go to college in Oklahoma City.”
He felt his brows furrow. “Mavis wants to go to college?”
“Yes, to be a schoolteacher. She considered joining the Red Cross later this year, when she turns twenty-one, but now she can go to college instead.”
“How do you know that?” He hadn’t known. In his mind, Mavis was still in school, but he had been gone for over three years so that wasn’t true.
“Your mother wrote me about it,” Wendy said. “She asked about the Red Cross program, and I told her all I know, but Mavis really wants to be a teacher.”
All of that was sinking in as they walked off the base. Mavis had sent him several letters over the years, but never mentioned the Red Cross or college. “My mother wrote you about it?”
“Yes, after I added a note to your first letter home, she wrote to thank me, and I wrote back telling her that she was welcome, and then she wrote asking about the Red Cross and I wrote her back telling her—”
“Okay. I get it,” he said, laughing because it sounded like something his mother would do and like she would do. “What else did she say? What else don’t I know?”
She was quiet for a moment, then said, “Nothing really, I just mailed her my answers the other day. But she did say that Holly is the one who would like to become a nurse. She could go to nursing school now, too. Become a real nurse, not just a Red Cross nurse’s aide.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a Red Cross nurse’s aide,” he said. “I bet you know a lot more than some nurses.”
“I don’t mind being a nurse’s aide, but there are a lot of rules that come along with being a Red Cross volunteer.”
“Such as?”
“I’m not complaining. I agreed to everything—there were just a few things that Sid pointed out in my agreement that I told your mother about. We’re volunteers, so aren’t paid. We receive a stipend and room and board. We aren’t part of the military, so there’s no credit or acknowledgment for the time we serve. If we’d want to become a nurse after our volunteer time, we’d have to go to nursing school like everyone else. We have to be single. As soon as anyone gets married—” She snapped her fingers. “They’re out. We have to agree to go to wherever they want to send you, although, they do give choices. I chose Hawaii.”
“In order to see the world,” he said, all the while accepting there was one more reason he could never act upon his feelings. She loved being a Red Cross nurse, and was excellent at her job. He could never ask her to give that up.
“Yes,” she said. “In order to see the world.”
She sounded odd. Not her voice, but the way she said that. Almost as if she didn’t really mean it. She’d never sounded that way before.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.
“Sure.” He flashed his light toward the upper corners of her building as they turned onto the road leading to her barracks.
“What did Captain Heinz mean about him not letting California keep you?”