Despite the melancholy state she’d been in for days, a smile slipped onto Wendy’s lips as memories formed. She was cleaning up an exam room where a plaster cast had been placed on a sailor’s leg who had slipped and fallen while running to get in his jeep last night at the Monkey Bar, but who hadn’t come in until this morning, because he hadn’t thought he’d broken anything.
He had broken his ankle, and was still lying in the gurney, waiting for the plaster to dry, and wondering how much trouble he was going to be in from his supervisor.
“Did you see the monkeys?” she asked the sailor while wiping plaster spattle off the work cart tray with a wet cloth.
“You’ve been there?” he asked.
“I have.” She rinsed out the cloth and wrung it out. “It’s a fun place.”
“It was.” He let out a long sigh, staring at the cast. “How much trouble do you think I’ll be in?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I do know that we all make mistakes.” Big ones. Ones that people regret for the rest of their lives. She certainly would.
“Seaman Westman could have my head for this,” the sailor said.
“Seaman Scott Westman?” she asked. “Is he your supervisor?”
“Yes, for now. I’m assigned to the USS Cassin, but they haven’t decided if they are going to repair her or scrap her, so we’ve all been temporarily assigned to different units in the yard. I know how to weld, so Lieutenant McCallister put me under Westman.”
Just the sound of K.T.’s name was enough to make tears form. She closed her eyes for a moment, giving them a chance to dry up.
“Do you know Seaman Westman?” the sailor asked.
“Yes, I do.” Her mind wasn’t on Scott, or the sailor, it was on K.T. But that wasn’t anything new. She wiped the last few drops of white plaster spattle off the floor and set her cloth on the cart. “I have a suggestion if you’d like to hear it.”
“Sure.”
“Once that plaster is dried, you’ll be given some crutches, and I’d suggest that you find Seaman Westman, tell him yourself what happened. Ask him if there is something you can do while healing.” She thought of all the things K.T. had told her about. “If there are some blueprints you can study, or schematics, or supply inventory reports, anything that will help your unit until you have the use of both legs again.”
“That’s a good idea. There are all sorts of things I can do. I know there are.”
She was glad to see him smiling. “Good, then offer to do them.”
“I will. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She rolled the cart around to wheel it out the door. “Good luck.”
“Thanks!”
She pushed the cart to the nurse’s station to put away the unused supplies, sanitize the tray, and restock the bottom shelf for the next use, and was in the midst of that, when Gloria entered the station.
“How’s the broken ankle patient?”
“He’s doing fine,” Wendy replied.
Gloria leaned back against the door frame and crossed her arms. “Official word from the Solace arrived. She’ll be sailing in five days. Do you still want to be on her?”
Wendy had thought she’d hardened herself, thought she was prepared for that news, but the sharp pinch in her heart was painful enough to make her flinch. Yet, she had made up her mind. “Yes, I do.”
“Do you still not want to talk about it?”
“No.” Confused as ever, Wendy shook her head. “I mean yes, I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“I wish you would.”
Wendy put the last pack of gauze on the cart shelf and pushed it near the wall where other carts were lined up. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes, there is, and pretending there’s not won’t change it.”
Nothing would change anything. Not what she’d done. Not how she felt.
Not what she had to do.
Straightening her spine, because she needed some sort of fortification as she met Gloria’s gaze, she said, “I suspect there are things that need to be done here, to get ready for the patient transfers from the Solace. Where do you need me to start?”
Always professional, thinking of the hospital and patients first, Gloria nodded. It was what she did next that surprised Wendy. Before she even realized it, Gloria’s arms were around her, holding her in a tight hug.
“I would like you to start at the beginning,” Gloria said. “Tell me why you are running away. Because that’s what you’re doing, and that’s not the way to fix a problem.”
Wendy’s entire body slouched, wanted to crumble onto the floor. She couldn’t do that, so she wrapped her arms around Gloria. “There’s nothing to fix.”
“Yes, there is.” Gloria held her for several moments, before she leaned back and cupped Wendy’s face with both hands. “But I can’t help, if I don’t know what happened.”
Even as the shame of what she’d done washed over her, Wendy couldn’t stop herself from telling Gloria about the letter she’d kept hidden from K.T. for months. She continued her babbling ramble that included a few hiccups and sobs, by explaining that she knew K.T. could never forgive her for that. It had been wrong. So wrong.
“Well, now,” Gloria said. “That does appear to be a problem, doesn’t it?”
Wendy sighed and because she was no longer holding on to Gloria, she stepped back and leaned against the counter for support. “Yes.”
“And, where there is a problem, there is a solution.”
Wendy shook her head. “It was just like you said. I was holding on to him, because I didn’t want to lose him, I didn’t want to have a broken heart.”
“It does appear that way, doesn’t it?”
“It is that way.” She’d gone over things a hundred times in her head, and fully understood what she’d done, and why. “I was only thinking of myself.”
“Everyone thinks of themselves, Wendy. We have to. We depend on ourselves.” Gloria let out a small sigh. “Let’s start at the beginning and go through it again. You didn’t give him the letter at first because you didn’t want to see him in more pain while he was in the hospital, correct?”
“Yes, and then I didn’t give him the letter because I was already falling in love with him and I didn’t want that. I’ve never wanted that. My mother was so unhappy, and that was why, because she fell in love with my father and he left.”
“This is your life, not your mother’s, so tell me why you didn’t want K.T. to love you.”
“I just told you what happened—”
“To your mother,” Gloria said. “Why do you think that would happen to you? You know other couples who love each other. Who are happily married. Some for many years. Like your aunt and uncle.”
“Well, yes, but...”
“But?”
Wendy didn’t know the answer, and searched for one. “I’m not their daughter.”
“What difference does that make?”
Wendy didn’t know the answer to that, either.
Gloria stepped forward, then turned about and leaned against the corner next to her. “What if it wasn’t K.T. that you were holding on to, but bits and pieces of your old life that you didn’t want to lose? Things that aren’t even true anymore? Aren’t even there?”
As Wendy contemplated that, her thoughts wandered to Gloria’s life. “Like you? Your first marriage?”
“This is your life, not mine, but there could be similarities. I was afraid to leave my old life behind. Afraid of finding a new one, because I didn’t want to fail again.”
Goose bumps formed on Wendy’s arms.
“But we all fail, we all make mistakes,” Gloria said. “And we all have the choice to try again or give up.”
Wendy shook her head, because she didn’t have a choice to try again.
“If things were the other way around, if K.T. had withheld information from you. Vital information, would you forgive him?”
“Of course.” Wendy didn’t need to think about that.
“Then why aren’t you giving him that same opportunity? He deserves that, doesn’t he?”
Wendy pinched her lips together, knowing that K.T. deserved far more than that.
Gloria pushed off the counter. “Five beds will need to be made up on the second floor for patients being transferred from the ship. I trust you’ll see to them?”
Wendy nodded. “I will.”
Gloria walked to the door, but before leaving, she turned. “And I trust you’ll give me your final answer about the Solace by tomorrow.”
Wendy nodded again. “I will.”
“I want you to have it,” K.T. told Betty. “I bought it for you.” There had been no rhyme or reason why he’d added her letter and the necklace to his duffle bag when he’d left Hawaii, but he had bought her the necklace and did want her to have it. Nearly every day that he’d been in California, he’d had dinner with her and her husband, Jim Jackson, who was a real okay guy. Jim worked for a company that made seismograph equipment used to explore for oil. That’s how he’d ended up in Oklahoma, and had met Betty.
“Thank you,” Betty said. “It’s lovely.” She let out a laugh. “I hated sending it back to you, because it was so lovely, but I didn’t feel as if I could keep it.”
“Now, you can feel as if you can keep it,” K.T. said. “Even Jim agrees.”
Jim, who was tall, with dark hair and dressed like a real city slicker in his three-piece suits, smiled at Betty. “Yes, even I agree.” He then shook K.T.’s hand. “Send us a postcard now and again. We’ll be wondering how you’re doing.”
“I will,” K.T. replied. “And remember what I told you. Leave the city duds behind when you go to Oklahoma. They make you stand out like a sore thumb.”
Jim laughed. “I wished I’d met you before my first trip out there. It would have saved me from getting run off with a shotgun from more than one property.”
K.T. laughed at the image that formed in his mind. Betty had told him all about how she and Jim had met. How they’d eloped, and how she was afraid to go back home, fearing that everyone would hate her for what she’d done. He’d told her that they wouldn’t and he’d told his folks, and half the town who had been listening in on his telephone call, that they all should be happy for both him and Betty. Things had worked out just as they should.
That’s what he was telling himself, too.
Betty gave him a hug. “It was so good seeing you. We’ve been friends since we were born, and I hated the idea of losing that.”
It seemed he was destined to just be friends. “Me, too. It was great seeing you. Really great.”
“We made the right decision to wait on getting engaged,” she said. “Neither of us had experienced real love. You’ll know what I mean when it hits you. It’ll consume you and you’ll be unable to wait for anything.”
He already knew that feeling, but kept that to himself. “I have to get down to the shipyard before the boat leaves without me. You two take care.”
“You, too! Write when you can!” Betty shouted as he walked away.
“I will,” he shouted while climbing in the jeep he’d borrowed from the base.
He started the engine and waved while driving away. She was still the Betty he’d always known, and he truly was happy for her. Seeing her had confirmed that he’d never truly been in love with her. He liked her, but seeing her hadn’t made his heart go wild, nor had he felt any sense of jealousy over Jim being her husband instead of him.
He’d almost mentioned Wendy several times while talking with them, but hadn’t. Just the thought of her made his throat swell up. There was no telling if she’d still be in Hawaii when he got back or not. He and Adam were catching a ride back on an ocean liner, a cruise ship that had been converted into a supply hauler, so the trip would be faster and smoother, but he still would have been gone for over two weeks when they arrived.
Two of the longest weeks of his life.
Which proved to be very true during the voyage back across the Pacific. At least while on the Shaw, though rough as that ride had been, he’d had work to keep him busy. There was nothing for him to do on the ocean liner, except think.
Think too damn much.
The first place he was going to go was the hospital. If she wasn’t there, he’d go to her barracks. Or maybe he’d go there first, depending on what time they arrived and disembarked.
If friendship was all she wanted, that was fine. He just had to make things right between them. Like he had with Betty.
Who was he trying to fool?
Friendship was fine with Betty, but Wendy was different.
He loved Wendy too much to ever just be her friend. He missed her. So much.
That was something he might have to get used to. She could have already sailed on the Solace. He had no way of knowing. Wouldn’t have any way of knowing until he arrived at the harbor.
If she hadn’t sailed yet, he was going to talk to her about that. He didn’t want her floating around the ocean. Not without him. There had to be a way they could figure something out.
Figure out if maybe someday, she’d want to be more than friends. Much more. He’d find a way to show her the world. Find a way to give her anything, everything, she’d ever want.
Those thoughts swam in his head day and night. Night and day.
Right up until twenty knots outside of Hawaii, when the sighting of another ship was announced. Like many other passengers, he went to the upper deck, anxious to catch sight of something except for the water they’d been looking at for days.
It was midmorning, and between the sun shining on the water and distance, the other ship was little more than a ghostly outline, but the vicinity alone said she was either leaving from or sailing to Hawaii.
He stood, waiting to see if he could make out more, until he heard a shout. Then, it felt as if his world shattered. Along with his heart.
“It’s a mercy ship! A hospital ship!” echoed over and over in his mind until the ship was completely out of sight.
There were other hospital ships, but he knew that had been the Solace.
Knew with all his heart.
An emptiness formed inside him, and grew until it fully encompassed him. It was heavy, too. Heavier than his diving suit. That’s what it felt like, as if he was trying to walk on land while wearing weighted shoes. When his ship finally pulled into port, it took effort for him to put on the white Dixie cup hat that went with his blue uniform. More effort to lift up his duffle bag, and more to walk to the gangway, still more to pretend that he was happy they’d arrived.
He forced himself to conjure up good thoughts for Wendy. He did want her to be happy, and hoped she enjoyed seeing the world.
One thing was for sure, she’d make other people happy wherever she went.
Adam elbowed him as they stepped off the gangway.
K.T. glanced over, to see what Adam wanted.
Adam nodded his chin toward the end of the dock. “Looks like you have someone waiting for you.”
This time it wasn’t his hearing K.T. questioned, it was his eyes. There could be a number of reasons for a nurse to be standing at the end of the dock, but he knew this one. Knew that perfect shape, that dark hair. Knew she was the only woman who would ever make his heart pound hard enough to break a rib.
He wiped at the smile that formed on his face with one hand, then handed his duffle bag to Adam. “Take this for me.”
His heart was racing faster than an electric motor and it was all he could do to keep his feet from running. He was happy, very happy that she wasn’t on the Solace, but warned himself that he didn’t know why.
That was the first thing he wanted to ask when he stopped before her, with his hands in his pockets because they were itching to touch her, but again, cautioned himself. “I saw the Solace out on the ocean.”
She nodded. “It left.” Then she shrugged. “I couldn’t go.”
Her ocean-blue eyes held a sparkling gleam, and her signature dimpled smile was on her beautiful face, yet, he was concerned that she was hiding her disappointment. “Why couldn’t you go?”
She reached into her white apron pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. Holding it up, she said, “Because you haven’t given me my Christmas present yet. One fishing trip.”
He’d never felt the degree of happiness that he did right then. A single chuckle rumbled in his throat. Then another at the thrill that shot through him. “There’s one other thing that I haven’t given you yet.”
“Oh? What’s that?” she asked.
The wait was over. He wasn’t going to fight the desires that had damn near been killing him for months any longer. He was going to take a chance and figure things out later. “This.” He wrapped an arm around her, and dipped her backward over his arm like he had done so many times while dancing with her, but this time, he lowered his head and covered her lips with his.
The softness, the sweetness, of her lips was more than he’d imagined. Because no one could ever imagine something so perfect.
Her arms looped around his neck as she returned his kiss, touch for touch. Glide for glide. Pressure for pressure.
He kissed her a long time. A very long time, trying to make up for all the times he’d wanted to kiss her and hadn’t.
It wasn’t until an ounce of reality formed, that he eased his lips off hers, and gave them a final quick peck, before he lifted his head.
Her smile was still there, even before her eyes fluttered open. “That was a pretty nice present, too,” she whispered.
He laughed. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
He eased her upright, pulled her close, into a long hug, and kept her there as he whispered, “I know you just want to be friends, but I’d like to talk about that.”
She leaned her head back, looked up at him. “I never wanted to just be your friend. I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of leaving my old life behind, entering one I knew nothing about.” She laid a hand against his cheek. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t give you Betty’s letter sooner, I knew it would change everything, and I was afraid of that. So afraid.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. He wiped it aside with his thumb. “It would have changed everything.”
She nodded. “Do—do you think you could ever forgive me for that?”
He kissed her forehead, the end of her nose, her lips. “I already have.”
A soft sob escaped her lips before she pinched them together, and looked at him with tears shimmering in her eyes.
“If you don’t want me to be your friend, what do you want?” he asked, half afraid of her answer. Yet, also excited to hear her response.
Never breaking eye contact, she asked, “What do you want me to be?”
“My wife,” he answered without hesitation.
For a good thirty seconds, at least it felt that long, she stared at him, before asking, “You do remember that I don’t know how to cook? Or sew? I’m not very good at ironing, either.”
“We’ll eat at the mess hall. I’ve sewn on buttons for years, and I have my own iron.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I know you can dance, and I want us to keep dancing together. Forever and ever and ever.”
She threw her head back in laughter and then stretched upward and kissed him. Not a simple, soft kiss. This one was filled with all the enthusiasm she put into everything she did.
He picked her up, and with their lips still locked together, twirled around in a circle. Several circles, before he stopped. He didn’t lower her so her feet could touch the ground, just kept holding her. “Is that a yes, or do I need to ask again?”
Wendy had never felt so wonderful. She was no longer conflicted about anything. She knew exactly what she wanted. “It’s a yes.” She kissed his lips, an action that she’d never get tired of doing. “A very big yes.”
“I love you, Nebraska,” he said.
“I love you, Oklahoma,” she replied. “I love you so, so much.”
They kissed again, and again before he lowered her so her feet touched the ground, and his smile slowly slipped away. “Will they really make you quit your job when we get married?”
She nodded. “Yes, but it doesn’t matter. Gloria said I can become a hospital volunteer. That’s what Faye does.”
“You won’t mind?”
“No, not at all.”
They were still at the end of the dock, with other people walking around them. He seemed to realize that at the same time she did. Laughing together, they clasped hands and walked toward the road that led to the exit of the base.
“What would you think about me reenlisting?” he asked. “Until the end of the war?”
“I think you are very good at what you do and the navy would be lucky to have you. Besides, you love it. You love a good challenge.” It was amazing how crystal clear things had become once she’d thought through all of Gloria’s advice. Or perhaps it was pure wisdom. Either way, she would forever be grateful for Gloria’s assistance in helping her understand things. All sorts of things, but mainly, that this was her life.
“Captain Heinz asked me if I’d be interested in being his second-in-command,” K.T. said. “That could mean that I’d be assigned to different shipyards, all around the world, and I’ll take you with me, so you can see everything that you want to see. And if there are places that we don’t go, I promise, I’ll do whatever I can, so you can see them. See the world.”
She stopped walking, and waited until he turned toward her. She took a single step in order to look him square in the face. “I’m looking at my world.” The truth of that filled her with confidence. She was no longer vulnerable to old thoughts, old beliefs. “I’m looking at the only thing that I want to see for the rest of my life.”
He held her chin with one hand. “So am I. You caught my eye the night of the dance contest. I’d never seen anyone so full of life or so beautiful, but I know you. You’re too adventurous to only want to look at this mug for the rest of your life.”
That was another thing she loved about him. The way he made her laugh. “Well, as long as you mentioned it, there is one place that I do want to see.”
“Where?” he asked. “I promise to take you there, wherever it is. However long it takes.”
She stretched on her toes and touched her lips against his as she whispered, “Oklahoma. The state. Specifically, the town of Guymon.”
He laughed. “There’s not a lot to see, but everyone there wants to meet you. They claim you are their good luck.”
“No, they don’t.”
“Yes, they do.” He draped an arm around her and they began walking again. “I talked to my folks while I was in California, and I talked to Betty. She and her husband, Jim, live in San Francisco.”
“Husband? She’s already married? And living in California?”
“Yes.” As they walked, he told her how Betty had learned that he was in California via the feed store owner, and that he’d met Betty and Jim, more than once, and was happy for them. He’d given her the necklace back.
“You weren’t upset with her?” Wendy asked.
“No. Not even when I read her letter, because I could completely understand exactly what happened. It had happened to me, too. She hadn’t planned on falling in love, and neither had I, but I did. I know I love the right woman. You.”
She bumped his shoulder with her head. He truly was a remarkable man. “I love the right man, too. You.” They reached the road, and she asked, “Where are we going?”
Stopping, he looked both up and down the road. “I don’t know. Do you have to go back to the hospital?”
“No. Gloria said I could have the rest of the day off. Do you have to report for work?”
“Not until tomorrow morning.” His smile grew. “Want to go fishing?”
“Yes!” She wanted to go fishing with him, but would have said yes to anything because she didn’t want to be separated from him. Not ever. She’d never missed someone so badly in her life. “I have to change and get my camera. And we have to get your lures, and find some fishing poles, and...”