K.T. didn’t realize he was holding his breath until the pressure in his lungs grew too great to withstand. Letting out the air, he drew in another breath, for reinforcement. “Because I’ll be going to California soon. The Nevada will be taken there for a complete overhaul and modernization, and I’ll travel with her to fix anything that comes up during her transport.”
“When will that be?”
“Not exactly sure. A few weeks, maybe. We have to get her in good enough shape that she can make the voyage.”
“How long will you be there?”
“I’m not sure of that, either. It’ll depend on a lot of things.”
They walked in a silence that was so heavy it felt suffocating up to the front of her barracks.
There, she lifted her chin, looked him square in the face. “I suspect I’ll be gone by the time you get back.”
He felt as if he’d just been kicked in the stomach. “Why?”
“I’m going to be joining the crew of the Solace and sail to the South Pacific. Pago Pago. The Tutuila islands. The Tonga islands, New Zealand, Australia, the Fiji islands, all sorts of places. I’ll see them all.”
“See the world,” he said, though his throat felt raw.
“Yes.” She glanced at the door. “Well, I best get inside. It has to be almost nine. Thanks again for a fun evening.”
He couldn’t come up with a single thing to say. He should be happy for her and wish her well, but all he could think about was never seeing her again. How that hurt, like nothing had ever hurt before.
“Good night,” she said.
“Good night,” he managed, and waited until she was inside before he began his walk back to his barracks. The desolation inside him was immense, even as he told himself that she was merely doing what she’d said she was going to do since the first night he’d met her. He should be happy for her. She’d been happy for him in everything he’d accomplished, yet here he was thinking about himself.
That’s all he had been thinking about. Himself. His job, his wants, his desires. Whereas she thought about everyone else. She wasn’t even getting paid to be here. She was a volunteer. Doing one hell of a job, too. She was the reason his family would be receiving a very fair deal for the oil on their property. She cared about everyone, and made everyone happy wherever she went. Made them laugh and have fun.
Even him.
It was a good thing she was leaving, that he was leaving. Nothing could ever come between them. Nothing more than the friendship she wanted. That’s all he should have wanted, too.
Wendy didn’t go directly upstairs. Helen or Lois could be there and she didn’t want to face anyone. They’d see her tears and question her. She didn’t have any answers. None that made sense. Her only saving grace was that she’d only need to stay vigilant for a few more weeks.
Then what? She could cry her eyes out and sulk around with a broken heart? That sounded like a downright glorious future.
Like it or not, it was her future. At least for now. She’d get over it. Life had a way of going on. She’d always been grateful for that in the past, and would find a way to be again.
It would just take time.
Her little bit of self-talk didn’t do wonders, but it forced her to dry her eyes. Then she used the bathroom, where she washed her face before she entered her room.
Helen and Lois were there, lying on their beds and reading magazines.
“My mom sent a new stash,” said Lois, who was from Los Angeles and whose father was a banker. Each month, her mother sent a stack of every woman’s magazine she could get her hands on. After the three of them had read every page, the magazines were passed around the barracks, the hospital, and the entire base.
“Great,” Wendy said, picking up the top one as if she was excited.
“She also sent lipstick and nail polish,” Lois said. “In the box on my dresser, help yourself if you need or want anything.”
“I took two of each,” Helen said. “We might not get a chance to get things like that once we set sail for the South Pacific.”
Lois set her magazine down beside her on the bed. “I’m going to miss you two.” She puffed out air, making her bangs flutter. “I hope I don’t end up with a Betty Boop for a roommate. That would get on my nerves!”
“You could come with us,” Helen said.
“No, thanks. As soon as my time here is up, I’m heading home.” Lois picked up her magazine again. “That was the deal I made with my dad. A year of volunteer work in exchange for him buying me a store. A boutique. In Beverly Hills. I’ll be selling clothes to the women you see in these magazines. You two will have to come see me when you get back from the South Pacific. I’ll give you the friend’s discount.”
“You sure have that planned out, don’t you?” Helen asked.
While Lois went on explaining everything she had planned out for her boutique, Wendy changed into her nightgown, put away the clothes she had been wearing, and gave her hair a good brushing before climbing onto her bed to read the new magazine.
She half listened to their conversation, half read the pages before her, while in the back of her mind, she fully wondered if anyone ever completely fulfilled the plans they made for themselves, or if things changed and they discovered that their old plan no longer fit what they wanted.
That thought remained with her throughout the night, and she had no plans the following morning to talk with Gloria about anything, but upon entering the hospital for her shift, Gloria met her in the hallway.
“I would like to speak with you in private this morning,” Gloria said.
“Is something wrong?” Wendy asked.
“We just need to talk,” Gloria replied, without nodding or shaking her head. “Let’s sit outside. It’s a beautiful morning.”
Wendy followed her to the back of the hospital, where a concrete lanai held chairs and tables for hospital staff to use during breaks.
“It’s so nice to not smell oil anymore,” Gloria said as they sat down.
Wendy hadn’t realized that was the case, and took a moment to smell the air, noting a hint of a floral scent along with the fresh smell of the sea. “You’re right,” Wendy said. “It is nice.”
Gloria nodded. “Things change right under our noses and if we don’t stop to recognize them, we don’t realize them. Don’t know when or how they changed.”
“That’s true,” Wendy replied.
“I know you’ve heard about the Solace,” Gloria said.
Wendy had to swallow past the lump that formed. “Have the orders came down?”
“Not yet, but they will. Is that something you’re interested in? Transferring to the ship?”
The tugging inside Wendy was uncanny. It felt as if her heart was split down the middle, tugging against itself.
“You don’t have to answer today,” Gloria said. “Nor do I need to say that I’ll miss you. You have to know that already. You are a real asset here, and, therefore, I know you’ll be a real asset on the ship. If I was to think only of the ship and their needs, I would suggest you first, even before some of the charge nurses. And if I was thinking of the hospital, I’d say we can’t let you go. That we need you here.”
Wendy didn’t know what to say. She didn’t truly know what she wanted.
“But I’m not thinking about the ship, or the hospital,” Gloria said. “I’m thinking about you, because I have a daughter at home, and I hope that someone right now, is looking out for her.”
Surprised, Wendy could only ask, “You do?”
“I do.”
“I didn’t think nurses could have children and enlist—”
“They can’t have children under the age of fourteen,” Gloria said. “My daughter was fifteen when I enlisted. My son was seventeen. That was three years ago, when the first invasions started overseas. Eleanor is eighteen now and in college. James is twenty and in medical school. You see, after my first marriage, when I ended up in Kansas City, I was lost. Didn’t know what I was going to do. All I could think about was my first husband. The life we had built. It had been a good life before our son had died, and I thought I wanted it back. Wanted my husband to forgive me. That’s why I got a job at the hospital, so I could learn things, become good enough that he’d take me back.”
“Even after what he did?” Wendy asked.
“Yes. I even went back to the farm once, to see him, but the place was empty, deserted. That’s when I realized that we can hang on to what we have with a death grip so we don’t lose it, or we can walk away before anyone can leave us behind, because that’s what it comes down to. No one wants to lose what they have, but no one wants to be left behind, either. We have to decide which one is right for us.”
“What did you do?” Wendy asked.
“I went back to Kansas City. I’d been holding on to something that I’d already lost. I met my second husband, who is an amazing man. One I miss every hour of every day. He, Alvin, is who encouraged me to enlist, knowing how much I wanted what I’d learned to help others. I requested Hawaii, because I thought it would be safe here, would guarantee that I’d return home. Then it gets attacked.” Gloria shook her head. “Alvin and I have laughed over that in letters. Just how ironic that is. I know that between him and his family, his mother and sisters, my children have everything they need, but I still miss them terribly.”
“I’m sure you do,” Wendy said, fully surprised that Gloria had never mentioned any of that before.
“I think that’s also why I feel like you’re my second daughter, and I want what’s best for you.”
Wendy was touched, truly, to the point that tears formed in her eyes. “Thank you, that’s such an honor.”
“You might not think so in a moment or two.”
A shiver tickled Wendy’s spine. “Oh?”
“I would have to be a fool to not have noticed that you have fallen in love with K.T.”
Wendy sucked in air so fast and hard, she choked, and had to cough several times to get her breath back. She also had to wipe at the moisture that filled her eyes.
Gloria was smiling at her. “From someone who has been in love twice, it’s easy to see. I’m not going to tell you what to do about that, but I do want to give you some advice.”
“I would appreciate that,” Wendy said, truly needing it.
Gloria reached over, laid her hand on Wendy’s arm. “I know you promised your mother you would see the world for her, because of the way your father left.”
Wendy nodded. She had told Gloria all of that, and more. In fact, there was little Gloria didn’t know about her, it seemed.
“This isn’t your mother’s life, Wendy. It’s yours. Yours to live. If you want to see the world more than you want anything else, the Solace would be a fine choice. But I’m sure that your mother would never expect you to keep to your promise if it didn’t make you happy. No mother would.”
The truth behind Gloria’s words was sinking in, deep, making Wendy question things she never had questioned before.
“On the other hand,” Gloria said, “if you are considering the Solace because you are afraid that K.T. might leave you behind like your father did your mother, you need to remember that this is your life, not your mother’s, and K.T. is not your father. There is risk in life, and falling in love is one of them. None of us know what the future will bring, we can’t. We live in the here and now.”
Wendy’s heart was thudding hard and fast, and she felt even more confused than ever. She truly didn’t know what she wanted, because the things she’d been afraid of seemed different than they used to. Gloria’s hand was soft and warm as it patted her arm.
“The official call from the Solace for nurses and volunteers will come out next week,” Gloria said. “I wanted us to have this discussion so you would have time to think things through before then. Whatever you choose, I’ll support you. I’ll listen if you want to talk, but I won’t make that choice for you, and I won’t let anyone else. The only way your name will be added to the list is because it’s what you decide.”
K.T. had been trying for two days to get his thoughts in order, with very little results. Working wasn’t helping. He still did it, without mistakes, but it wasn’t at the top of his mind. Not while he was doing it, or afterward, like now when he was attempting to focus on the ship schematics lying before him.
He had fallen in love with Wendy, and tried to convince himself that the reason he couldn’t act on those feelings was because they were at war. But the truth was, Wendy didn’t want him to act upon them. She didn’t want anything except friendship. He had to respect that. Yet, he kept wondering if there was any way to change her mind.
A knock sounded on his door, and he twisted in his chair, to look that way as it opened. Adam poked his head inside. “Someone’s here to see you.”
K.T. felt his shoulders slump, at the same time his heart kicked up a notch. The last time that had happened, the visitor was Wendy. He wasn’t ready to face her.
Yes, he was a coward.
And selfish.
He hated the idea of her boarding the Solace and sailing away.
Pushing away from his desk, he stood and then walked to the door.
Adam used a thumb to point over one shoulder.
K.T. instantly stiffened his spine and left his room to meet Captain Heinz in the hallway. “Sir.”
“At ease, Lieutenant,” Heinz said. “This is a friendly visit. Take a walk with me.”
They walked down the hallway and out of the front door, then took a left, walking along the pathway that led between the barracks.
“I’ve been impressed with your work, K.T.,” the captain said. “What you accomplished with the Nevada was nothing shy of miraculous. You not only knew what needed to be done, you knew how and in what order things had to be accomplished to make it work. I’ve let that be known to the commander in chief. As you know, the Salvage Division is a new branch of the navy, and with fighting going on around the world, our division will grow. Fast and furious, I believe, which is why I’ve requested a second-in-command.”
K.T. nodded. “I can see that being needed.”
“Good, because you are who I’d like to see in that position.”
Taken aback, K.T. stopped walking. “Sir, I’m a welder and diver, I don’t have the qualifications or—”
“I believe you do, K.T.,” Heinz interrupted. “I fully understand how serious your injuries were and am amazed at how quickly you recovered, but I also see your injuries as a blessing in disguise. I know you met almost daily with Seaman Scott Westman. The instruction and guidance you gave him prior to my arrival was invaluable. Your commitment to participating while still recovering upon your release from the hospital was also vital. I learned from you while sitting in those meetings, and I say that with pride. Yes, I went to the Naval Academy and served on a battleship, studied naval architecture, worked in shipyards, and served on the Bureau of Construction and Repair in Washington, DC, but you’re young and fresh off building and repairing these ships. I don’t have that knowledge. Together, you and I could build this division into a force to be reckoned with.”
K.T. was as honored as he was stunned.
“I fully understand that your commitment of obligation is almost at term. As my second-in-command, you would not be requested to make a long-term obligation. But I would request that it’s until the war ends. Whether that be months or years, no one knows right now. Nor can I assure you that your time will be spent here. You may be required to go wherever a ship or a crew needs your expertise. The one thing I can guarantee is that you will have access to receive the highest rank, rate, and grade that an enlisted seaman can acquire.”
K.T. had never considered reenlisting. There were too many people to consider when it came to something like that.
“I don’t expect an answer from you today,” Captain Heinz said. “I just wanted to plant the seed before you leave for California. If possible, I would like confirmation of your decision upon your return. If you need a few days to go home to Oklahoma while stateside, I can make that work, too.”
“Thank you, sir,” K.T. said. “For the consideration and for the time to think this through. It’s an unexpected offer. I would like time to consider the options.”
“I knew you would.” Heinz glanced toward the barracks. “Between now and then, I’d appreciate if we kept this under wraps. I don’t need men bowing at my feet with a hope of moving into a position they aren’t ready for, but feel free to talk with those whom your decision might affect outside of the men.”
“I fully understand, sir.”
Heinz gave a nod. “I’ll let you get back to your evening.”
K.T. nodded, and remained where he stood as Heinz walked away. This should be enough to get Wendy off his mind.
It wasn’t.
In fact, the more he thought about the offer, the more he thought about her. Mainly because he found himself comparing her to Betty, and that wasn’t fair. They were two very different people, and they both were full of good qualities.
Betty would be disappointed if he chose to reenlist, whereas Wendy, well, she was too full of adventure for that. Too full of challenges and of fun. That’s what life was for, she’d said that when they’d first met, and she’d lived it nearly every day since.
Betty was more cautious and, well, like him. Responsible and set in her ways. That’s why they’d always gotten along so well.
Flustered, he turned about, but rather than walking back to the barracks, he went toward the harbor. Between the navy yard and Hospital Point, there was a small section of beach where he’d seen people swimming or just soaking up sun prior to the attack.
It wasn’t a long walk, nor was there any barbed wire strung along the sand like the beaches along the outer shores of the island. Others were there, too, couples, families, and a few people who looked like they were there for the same reason as him. To sit and think.
He found a spot away from others, and sat down on the warm, sugar-fine sand. Straight across the water was where the Nevada had run ashore, and he couldn’t help but think how satisfying the work of getting her afloat had been. It had been a challenge, but mastering those challenges was what brought the satisfaction, and he knew he would relish more challenges like that.
“Is this spot taken?”
Shocked, because he clearly recognized that voice, he glanced up. Seeing Wendy’s dimpled smile caused his own to form. “No, it’s not,” he answered.
“Mind if I sit?” she asked, using the shoes in her hand to point to the ground beside him.
“By all means. I’d offer to brush away the sand, but that would be useless.”
She giggled as she sat down beside him, set her shoes aside, and tugged her bright blue skirt over her knees as she buried her toes in the sand. “So what are you doing here?”
“Nothing. You?”
“I’m going to watch the sunset,” she said. “I haven’t done that since the attack, and I’m not sure why. Before then, I did it every night that I could.”
“Curfew, blackouts, the provost court,” he said.
She laughed again. “Yeah, that might all have something to do with it.” Letting out a soft sigh, she asked, “How was your day?”
“Good,” he lied. “Yours?”
She was looking out at the water. “I’ve had better.”
Instantly concerned, he asked, “Something happen?”
“No, I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
There was her honesty again. He could have said just as much, and been just as honest. Even tell her about Captain Heinz’s offer, but he already knew what she’d say. She’d tell him to do what would make him happy, because that’s what she did, which caused him to ask, “Want to talk about it?”
“Nope. I’m here to watch the sunset and not think about anything except how beautiful it is.” She looked at him. “I find that more helpful at times.”
He nodded, fully understanding her answer.
Her gaze went from his face down to his shoes and back up again. “Your shoes are going to be full of sand.”
“They already are,” he admitted.
She giggled. “Then take them off.”
“That’s all right.”
“Come on, Oklahoma, take off your shoes. Live a little.”
“I am living, with my shoes on.”
She nodded and looked back over the ocean again. “Chicken again.”
“I’m not chicken, I just don’t want to walk home with sandy feet,” he rationalized.
“Your shoes are already full of sand. You just admitted that.” Looking at him again, she said, “Take them off and we’ll walk in the water. Or are you too chicken to do that, too?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. She was so...so her. “Fine.” He took off his shoes and pulled off his socks, then leaped to his feet and held out a hand. “Come on.”
She grasped his hand and hopped to her feet.
He could have released her hand, but they were friends. She didn’t want anything more than that. It was time for him to accept that, and be happy for her. Happy that she was living life as she wanted.
Hand in hand, they walked to the water, then walked along the shoreline, letting the water wash over their feet.
“Doesn’t that feel good?” she asked. “I love the way the wet sand squishes between my toes.”
He laughed. “You would love that.”
“Why not? It feels good.”
He clamped his lips together to keep from saying that it wouldn’t feel good if either of them stepped on a piece of shrapnel. Why hadn’t he thought about that before now? Walking barefoot was not a responsible thing to do.
“Quit thinking about what could be, Oklahoma, and think about what is,” she said.
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“Because you went stiff and quiet,” she said. “You did that while we were racing home from the Monkey Bar in both the jeep and the boat.”
That was true. “It’s habit.”
“Because you’re a McCallister,” she said.
He’d never thought of it that way, but it fit.
“It’s all right,” she said. “We need all kinds in this world, but once in a while, it’s okay to be different. To just be yourself. Who you want to be, not who others want you to be.” She released his hand and spun in a circle, arms out and face lifted toward the sky. “To just be free.”
Filled with admiration, because he did admire so many things about her, he watched her spin several times before she stopped and held her hands out toward him.
He took her hands in his, and let her lead him around in a few circles, before he said, “You are going to end up so dizzy, you’ll fall in the water.”
Her giggle floated on the air. “So? What would that hurt?”
“You’d get wet,” he warned.
“I’ve been wet before.”
He wasn’t sure what possessed him, but without questioning the desire, he tugged her closer, released her hands, and picked her up. With one hand around her back and the other under her knees, he carried her deeper into the water.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to let you get wet,” he teased.
Her hands tightened around his neck and she pressed her body tight against his. “You are not going to drop me in the water!”
“I thought you wanted to get wet.”
“Wet! Not dunked!”
He laughed and slowly lowered her legs, until her feet touched the ground. Water swished around their shins. His hand was still around her back, holding her close, and he scanned her face. Every inch of it. Her ocean-blue eyes. Perfectly shaped nose, her dimples, and petal-shaped lips.
What he wouldn’t give to taste those lips. Feel them pressed against his. Friends, though, didn’t kiss on the lips, even if he was sure that she would kiss him back if he gave in to his desires.
In an attempt to bury those burning desires, he said, “I’ve never met anyone like you, Nebraska.”
She stared at him for a long time, before she sighed, and then leaned forward. The blood that was already pounding in his veins heated up more in anticipation.
Her hands went around his waist and she laid her head against his chest. “The feeling is mutual, Oklahoma,” she whispered.
A hug wasn’t the same as a kiss, yet he found a great deal of satisfaction in wrapping his arms around her and holding her close as they stood there. If he could be who he wanted to be at this moment, it would be a man who could freely love her. Forever.