SET ASIDE DAILY WORRY TIME

WE ALL WORRY from time to time. However, it’s possible for worrying to get out of hand. Aside from being unpleasant, it can be all-consuming and take away mental energy we need for other tasks. It can also seriously dampen our mood and completely disrupt our sleep.

It’s hard to drift off into peaceful slumber when our mind is full and those worrisome thoughts are playing like loud music from a party in the apartment upstairs. Even when we do somehow manage to get enough rest, those thoughts can drag us down and make us feel like we’re swimming underwater as we’re going about our day. Worrying takes a lot of mental energy!

Learn to recognize the difference between critical thinking and nonconstructive, down-the-rabbit-hole-type worrying. For example, having the forethought to look both ways before you cross the street, packing healthy snacks for a road trip where food options may be limited or nonexistent, choosing a complex password, carrying an EpiPen . . . these are all examples of planning ahead for potential problems.

Lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering what to say to that smug coworker if she makes a backhanded compliment about your new haircut tomorrow? Losing sleep worrying about how you’re going to afford therapy for your toddler when she’s twenty-seven? Rabbit-hole, my friend.

Even when it’s a legitimate worry like stressing about how you’d pay rent if you get laid off, fixating on it at the expense of things you really need to focus on in that moment can actually backfire.

To share a personal example, when a hospital I used to work at switched from paper to electronic charting, I was so consumed with worrying about all the negative feedback I was going to get from my supervisor and how it might reflect on my competency, that it short-circuited my thinking and actually caused me to make errors I wouldn’t have made otherwise.

A few red flags that may indicate that you’re worrying too much:

• Your worries completely consume your thinking and distract you from other tasks

• That problem or stressor doesn’t even exist (“yet,” you argue)

• You can’t actually do anything about that concern

• You get stomach pains, notice changes in your heart rate, start clenching your jaw, or experience related tension headaches when you worry

While it’s totally normal for worries to occasionally bubble to the surface, it’s important to remember that you can change your response. Start by asking yourself, “Is this thing a priority right this minute?” Most of the time, it’s not, so here’s what to do with those worries: Set aside daily worry time. You can be as loose or as structured about this as you like. Some people prefer to sit in a quiet place (soothing cup of tea optional) or even lie down. Others might find it useful to do it while you’re doing something somewhat active like taking a walk or cleaning or folding laundry. You could also journal out your worries in a notebook—it can help you feel like you’re really “getting it out” and that you can (literally) close the book on it and walk away after.

Whatever approach you choose, put fifteen minutes on your calendar, set an alert on your phone, or simply just make a point of setting aside a few minutes each day to let your mind go to town on the worrying. The only catch? Once that time is up, you move on with your life.

After your worry time is up, when you start to feel a worry rising, remind yourself that you can return to that thought when it’s time to worry. This might feel weird at first, but over time, it can make a huge difference in the amount of time and energy you spend worrying. I know this sounds hard, but I promise it gets easier with time.