THE BEST WORKOUT IS THE ONE YOU’LL ACTUALLY DO

AS IT IS with many things in life, it’s not about having time, it’s about making time for exercise. Have you ever noticed that even when your life feels insane, you somehow manage to fit in the people and activities you care about?

Or maybe you’ve been in a situation where someone you’re interested in keeps saying they’ve “been so busy with work/school/family” until you finally get the hint that, actually, they just don’t want to see you anymore.

It’s the same thing when it comes to physical activity. You’re much more likely to make it happen when the type of exercise is something you genuinely want to do.

That said, give yourself a variety of options. Too often, I see people getting bored or burned out doing the same thing over and over, or becoming so set in their routine that they can’t cope when they have to be flexible. Having a few different types of activity in your life that you enjoy can help you feel more well-rounded. There are also certain workouts that are best for different moods and energy levels.

While exercise is an important part of my own self-care routine, I’m not a certified expert, so I spoke to a few people who are, like Johari Mayfield, a certified personal trainer who has a dance background and works with adults and children, and Lauren Chiarello Mika, founder of Chi Chi Life, fitness instructor and a two-time cancer survivor, who is also a fundraising and events guru and marathoner.

Here are some of their tips for finding (or discovering) what you love.

Aim for Whole Body Fitness

Neither Chiarello nor Mayfield believes that there is one “best” workout—“I don’t want to ‘yuck anyone’s yum,’” says Mayfield. But having a combination of cardiovascular activity and strengthening (whether in one exercise session or spread throughout the week) helps support overall wellness. “Cardio helps you build up heart strength and cardiovascular capability while strength training helps build bone density, core strength, as well as flexibility and mobility through joints and muscles,” explains Chiarello.

While it’s easy to buy into the hype that exercise is about looking hot, being active also helps prepare us for the movements we do in our day-to-day life so we avoid injury. Mayfield often works “movements that are compound, multi-joint actions (like a push-up, pull-up, deadlift, or squat)” into her sessions, along with those that “require you to change the level of your body, such as bending down to the floor and moving through different planes.” She adds, “I had a physical therapist tell me once to watch and really observe children and how they move around a playground. That’s how we should be moving during our workout. They don’t move linearly. Curves, bends, these are all movements that happen throughout the day. There’s something to be said about looking good, she says, but it’s also about not being in a surgeon’s office.

Keep an Open Mind

We often tell ourselves stories about what we do and don’t do, sometimes without having given what’s on the “no” list a real shot. You might even be pleasantly surprised by what you like. “Try it all and find what energizes you,” says Chiarello. Of course, you don’t have to love everything. “I love to try new things, and then I assess whether it felt like it was for me and if I would go back.” She adds that if you’re taking a class, try a few different instructors and see whether a different teaching style resonates more with you than others.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your interests and preferences may shift over time. Sometimes I see people tie up their identity and self-worth in their chosen sport or activity, and in the unfortunate event of an injury or illness (or if they stop loving that activity), it can be incredibly difficult, emotionally, to accept that they’re taking a break or are ready to move on. Give yourself permission to go with the ebbs and flows and to follow your instincts about what feels good and what doesn’t.

To give you a personal example, in my twenties, I did a ton of cardio and hot yoga. An arm injury when I was twenty-four led me to a physical therapist who recommended Pilates to help me build core strength and avoid future injuries. I never would have tried it otherwise, but I fell in love. Experiencing burnout and a back injury a few years later was what finally got me to dial down the cardio and get even more intentional about strength training and flexibility as key parts of my regular routine.

If you’re intimidated by the prospect of going to a group class, Chiarello recommends inviting a friend or, if you’re going solo, to be patient with yourself and be encouraging instead of fixating on feeling like you’re not doing well. “One of the biggest pieces of my teaching is making people feel welcome and applauding them for trying something new. It takes a lot of grit to show up!”

Think Positively

Approaching exercise with a positive attitude and being patient with yourself can help you have a much better experience. Chiarello explains, “We can really psych ourselves out, but if we come from a place of acceptance and arriving as we are, we do the best we can. When we decide and choose that’s enough and continue to show up consistently, that’s when change will happen.” She also is a believer in the power of community as a source of positive energy and inspiration.

Mayfield, who also teaches group classes, wants students to feel welcome. “I just want people to feel comfortable in their body and personal space and within their community. Anybody who may feel they don’t measure up, yes you do! Movement belongs to everybody.”

She cautions her clients to be careful when scrolling through social media for inspiration. “Photoshop is real! ... Stop following social media accounts that make you feel bad when you look at them.” She adds, “As often as possible, be with real people when you exercise so you can see how the body works. Real time and online time are two different things. In real life, things are not rehearsed, lit, and in costume.”

Mix It Up Depending on Your Mood

Our mood can also impact our workout experience—and vice versa. Movement can shift our energy in the direction we need it to. “I think it depends on the person,” says Chiarello, but it’s worth trying out different workouts to see what you respond to. “If one person is feeling stressed, they may feel they need to go get a run in, but someone else might want to go to yoga to help them feel more grounded and connected to their breath.” She recommends experimenting with various forms of exercise and journaling pre-and postworkout to help you tune into what really works for you—and to unload your thoughts and feelings so you can work through them.

Mayfield agrees that both calming and more vigorous forms of exercise have their place. “For me, yoga helps to calm my central nervous system down. When I’m feeling afraid or anxious, I like to do yoga so I learn how to breathe through things. It helps me put a pause or slow down my response to something that might make me feel angry or anxious.”

“In terms of channeling other aggressions like anger in a way that’s more dynamic,” she recommends cardio, boxing, and drumming while dancing. The drumming, in particular, offers the added benefit of creating sound, which can also be therapeutic. With drumming, she says, “You’re doing something that’s getting the energy out but that’s also artistic, and you’re connecting with others and creating sound.”

When you’re feeling fired-up or pissed off, a high-intensity class like spinning, kickboxing, or a weights class could help you deal. Mayfield explains, “Where aggression is an emotion that’s expected in a class, it’s healthy to get it out through movement.”

When you feel like your brain is on overload, a slower or low-impact workout like a yoga flow or Pilates class may be a good fit. A walk around the block can also be great if you just feel like you need to clear your head to cool off after an argument or annoying email.

How to Deal When You’re Lacking Motivation

Even the most committed exercise enthusiasts have days when motivating themselves is harder than others. Chiarello encourages, “Move through excuses, show up, do what you can, and know that it’s better than nothing.” If you’re feeling discouraged because you’re still in the early stages of working toward a fitness goal, give yourself some grace. “When we come from a place of acceptance and arriving as we are, good things will come. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and in this landscape we’re living in now, people want things quickly, but change takes time. You need to put in the work to see results, like any other area of your life. Progress takes time. You have to put in the time, energy, and dedication in order to flourish.”

Making plans with a friend also adds a level of accountability and support. “That person is depending on you, and you’re depending on each other,” she says. “A sense of camaraderie is built. I would recommend trying to find a community. Maybe that scares some people, but there are a lot of great communities. That could even be on social media if not in person, where you share the exercises you’re doing that week.”

If you’re struggling to get moving, Mayfield also recommends calling a friend. “It gets us out of ourselves. At a certain point, self-will will fail, and then once that self-will starts to wane a bit more, you have that second thing of, ‘Well, I gave my word to my friend that we were going to do this thing,’ that provides another kind of motivation.” Yes, it’s about being motivated to stay on point with your own goals, she explains, but it also becomes about helping someone to move forward with theirs as well.

Mayfield also recommends hiring a personal trainer to provide that financial incentive or joining classes to stay motivated. It provides a sense of community, she says. “You know you’re going to see your friends, you’ll more than likely get dressed for the occasion, so there’s other kinds of emotional payback you get on top of the workout.”

Don’t Feel Like You Have to spend a Ton of Time or Money

“There’s this phrase people use about ‘making time,’” says Chiarello. “If only we could literally make it. We’d be millionaires. I prefer to say ‘carve out time,’ and dedicating that time you’re able to spend. Life will ebb and flow. Do what you can. You’ve got to make exercise a priority and move through the excuses. It’s a matter of showing up for yourself so you can show up for others.”

“We all have twenty-four hours in a day,” she explains, “and we choose how we spend those.” It can feel like our time for ourselves can be extremely limited, but carving out thirty minutes (or less, if that’s all you have) is well worth it. “I promise you will feel better and stronger. If you’re putting yourself first, all your other relationships will benefit. When you carve out that time for yourself, you’re able to be more present in your day to day activities.”

Don’t have thirty minutes? Chiarello says, “Even fifteen minutes or doing a plank by your bedside in your pajamas for one minute counts. I love planks!”

To make exercise more financially accessible, she’s also a fan of low-cost electronic sources like interactive programs, accountability groups, and streaming workout videos. Scoping out free events in your community can also be a great way to connect with others while enjoying exercise.

Mayfield is also a fan of online resources if you just don’t have the time or wherewithal to leave the house. She also encourages people to start with “real easy tasks, one task at a time. Then build from there.” Even doing laundry or using household items as weights can work. “The kitchen is so full of opportunities. I have a client using a wine bottle, a bottle of bleach—you don’t have to have the traditional weights to get the strength training in there. Use commercial breaks as a time to get in squats, jumping jacks, lunges, plank-jacks, crunches. Keep it simple.”