HAVE A GO-TO CLEANSING RITUAL

IT MAY SOUND a little woo-woo, but having a go-to cleansing ritual can help you move forward from experiences that trigger feelings of stress and anxiety. A cleansing ritual is basically something you do when you feel like you’re being negatively affected by the energy around you, or when you’re just feeling low or tired. Have you ever felt the need to clear lingering bad vibes in your home after a toxic roommate moved out, or to hit “reset” by getting new sheets after a breakup, or to give your ex’s stuff back to them ASAP just to get it out of your space? Digital cleanses, like doing a “friend purge” on social media to cut down on political drama in your feed, count too. These are all things we might do that help us acknowledge that something happened and it affected us, but that we’re choosing to move on.

I joke that bacon and nag champa (a popular type of incense with notes of sandalwood and the Champaca flower, among other resins, gums, and powders) are the scents of my childhood. Sure, we had “normal” stuff like pancakes on weekends and cold medicine in the cabinet, but we were also “the weird family” in our waspy town. For example, I didn’t know anyone else whose mom was a hypnotherapist (I still don’t), and while it seemed totally normal to me to talk about things like chakras and energy and to have crystals with various healing energies placed thoughtfully around the house, my friends clued me in to the fact that—nope—we were kind of . . . different.

It didn’t help that we lived in what my mom’s friends who worked in the paranormal and psychic healing communities described as “a very active house.” I’m actually not going to write that off—growing up in a house full of weird sounds and sights instilled in me a healthy respect for the unexplainable.

My mom used to see clients in the house, and she would burn incense and sage to clear the energy. Nag champa is a scent that I’ll always connect with her, as it was very warm and pleasant and it meant that she was home.

White sage, another one that was familiar to me growing up, smells a bit like marijuana, and is used for clearing negative energy or to provide protection. I have memories of my mother answering the door, saying, “I just want to let you know that even though it smells like pot, it’s just sage. I was trying to clear the spirits.” As a teen, I felt both mortified and proud. Another true story: The night before I left for college, my mother had me twirl around on the back porch while she waved a lit stick of white sage around me. I laughed, but it was also a very “us” moment I still keep tucked in the back of my mind. It was her way of showing me she understood and supported my wanting to shake off high school and just get on with my life.

That memory came flooding back many years later, when I was working in corporate wellness in New York. I saw patients each week in the offices of a company that was undergoing a lot of transitions, and you could practically feel the stress rippling through the organization. I got in a little early one morning, and the medical assistant was walking around with a lit stick of something that smelled familiar but slightly different.

Once she realized I was a safe person, she explained to me all about palo santo (also called “holy stick”) and its energy-cleansing properties. Palo santo has been used for centuries by the Incas and indigenous peoples of the Andes for spiritual cleansing and purifying—a lovely-smelling way to chase off evil spirits.

Regardless of whether these cleansing rituals actually “work,” it’s been well established that scent is a powerful trigger for emotions and memories. Also, the action of taking a step to clear the energy may, in and of itself, be enough for you because, mentally, you’ve drawn a line in the sand and said, “I’m moving on from this uncomfortable feeling or situation and I’m burning this stick of whatever to signify that to myself.”

I keep a steady supply of incense in my own home to clear anxious energy, relax, or even just mask unpleasant smells from cooking fails. I also like to use it when the seasons change or I want to mark a before/after kind of experience. Long ago, when I lived with a roommate who disapproved of my interest in anything even slightly on the “woo” end of the spectrum, I kept a secret stash of nag champa in my desk drawer. Whenever they went out of town I’d burn it— and make sure to air out the place before they came home.

Today, it’s a regular part of my self-care routine. I keep my go-to’s in easy reach so it’s super easy to take a few minutes out of my day to cleanse the energy.

If you decide to try this one at home, safety first! Clear away any flammable stuff like papers, and keep the lit stick of incense (or whatever you’re burning) away from things like carpet and curtains. Most varieties, you use by lighting the stick or cone of incense or bundle of sage and then blowing out the flame so you get a nice little smolder. You can either walk around the space you’re trying to clear, paying close attention to each corner (you might want to carry a little dish or even something like a big seashell to catch ashes in), or you can place the stick in a holder. What you choose is up to you—just be sure it’s something that won’t have you worrying about a lit stick falling down or blowing over.

If this sounds like way too much work, an essential oil diffuser or a candle can be an easier way to fill your space with a scent you find cleansing and comforting. Whatever approach you take, focus on what feels good to you and helps you feel centered and calm.