Julia opened the duffel bag hoping to find chips, maybe some candy. She shoved some T-shirts aside and something that looked like a bomb. She had no idea what that was about. Mixing food with ammunition should be illegal. With her luck she’d eat the wrong thing.
A bit more shifting and she hit more goodies. The packet on top of a new pair of sneakers was not food. Not even close.
She picked the condom up between two fingers and held it, not sure what to do next. Instead of being excited or even grateful, she felt anger filling her. But throwing a fit was not her style.
This was some sort of go-to bag Holt had delivered for an assignment, and it came with birth control. Shirts, bombs and condoms. It was like some bizarre college pack.
The choices made her wonder exactly how Cam operated on a job. A guy who kept his pants zipped and his mind on the operation wouldn’t need condoms. Could be she’d fallen for a pretty face with a sexy line.
The door opened and Cam stepped back in with the push of cool wind behind him. He shook his head and drops of water fell from his hair. When he looked up at her, he froze.
She continued to hold the condom. “This is interesting.”
With a small shake of his head, he unstuck himself from the floor and came over to her. Crouched down even with where she kneeled. “That’s Holt’s idea of being helpful.”
Cam made it sound so innocent. “He’s your birth-control pusher?”
“He knows I’m attracted to you.” Cam took the condom and slipped it into his front pants pocket. “He also gave me a lecture about keeping my mind on the job, so it’s not clear what he wants me to do. Not that he gets a say.”
Do... She’d been asking herself the same questions ever since that first kiss. Kept it private as she turned her options over in her mind. Knowing Holt and Cam were out there talking about her just felt wrong. “I’m trying to figure out if I should be embarrassed.”
“No one was engaging in locker room talk or anything like that. Believe it or not, the condom is a new addition to the go bag. I’m trying to remember if Holt ever tried to help me out like that.” He smiled. “I promise.”
The twisting in her stomach started to loosen. Maybe she’d jumped to conclusions. Not trusting was a knee-jerk reaction for her. The doubting had become so ingrained it qualified as her go-to response. But, really, any person would wonder with those supplies.
Her father used to make a promise and then break it. She’d learned early on not to take anyone’s word or operate on blind faith. Yet she’d done exactly that since meeting Cam. She didn’t understand her reaction or how her attraction guided her when it came to him.
“I assumed that...” She flipped her hand around as she tried to find the right thing to say. It would be too easy to offend and she really didn’t want to do that.
“Julia, it’s okay.” He reached over and slid his fingers through hers. “I get it.”
“I guess it seemed like...” She groaned when the words refused to come. “Forget it.”
“You have been hit with a lot of evidence that suggests I’m a liar and a jerk. Every time, you’ve assessed the facts with a cool head instead of jumping to conclusions.” He caressed one of her fingers, then another. “You’ve listened even when it would have been easier for you to write me off.”
The touch of his hand felt so good that she almost lost her train of thought. Almost. “And I’ve sided with you every time.”
He shot her a smile. “I like that about you.”
That sexy look had her insides melting. She didn’t know how all the people he rescued withstood that. He turned on that grin, and the blood rushed from her brain. His effect on her senses had her breath coming out in pants.
“You don’t seem so bad,” she joked. And by that she meant he went to her head faster than any man she’d ever met.
“As for the condom, Holt’s gestures, while well meaning, sometimes misfire.” Cam sucked in air through his teeth, making a hissing sound. “He can be socially awkward.”
Julia heard the respect and friendship behind the sound. “Does he know you say things like that about him?”
“I tell him almost daily.”
The thought of the guys sitting around ribbing each other made her smile. “I thought maybe sex was part of the job.”
Cam’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You know, that you guys have a bet about who can score first. That you get together and plan strategy.” She shrugged. “You hear about stuff like that. Usually when something goes very wrong or some poor woman finds out the hard way, but I see it here and there.”
His frown didn’t ease, but the touch of his hand against hers stayed gentle. “What kind of men do you know?”
She was starting to wonder that herself. “The usual twentysomethings. Guys I worked with. Went to school with. Friends of friends and setups. Randoms on the internet.”
“That list makes me happy I’m thirty-three and not in the middle of the dating scene.” He stood and drew her up beside him. “Come here.”
She didn’t say anything. She was too busy holding her breath when his hands landed on the small of her back and pulled her close.
“I am not married, engaged or involved,” he said.
“That’s probably a good thing in light of the things I’ve been thinking about you.”
“I’m not— Wait, really?”
It was a nonstop action film in her head. She saw him and her, and there was nothing neutral about it. “Yeah.”
He nodded. “Okay, well, you may as well listen to the entire list, then.”
She took a big inhale and let it out slowly. “I’m ready.”
“I have never, and I mean never, ever, had sex on an assignment. I do not go looking for bed partners from vulnerable people or people in danger.” He shifted his legs until they straddled hers. “In fact, my attraction to you is a pretty big problem.”
She tried to swallow but she forgot how. “Because?”
His fingers sneaked under the edge of her shirt, and his thumbs rubbed against her back. “I can’t seem to control what I feel for you, and I keep trying. I’m thinking about you when I shouldn’t be. What I see us doing together requires a bed and might result in traction. Possibly.”
And just like that, any doubt still rumbling around her brain deflated and died. He wasn’t a criminal or scamming her. He wasn’t looking for a good time or boasting with his friends.
She could see the truth in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Under all that rescuing and protecting, past that dimple and that face that made her sigh, was a good guy. Decent and willing to do the right thing no matter what.
He cared about his team and would throw his body in front of hers without debate. She’d never known anyone like him. Growing up with her dad, she’d never understood that people like Cam existed. Not in her world.
But now she knew they did.
“I think we should break your rule.” Her fingers went to the back of his neck and brought his head closer to hers.
“I don’t understand.” He whispered the words against her lips.
“That’s because you have so many rules. Hard to keep track of them, I guess.”
He smiled then. “Narrow it down for me.”
“Maybe it’s time you had sex on the job.” Being bold wasn’t really her style, but with him she wanted to be honest and trust. To dive in.
He pulled back, but not far. “Julia, are you sure?”
“I’m attracted to you. You can tell that, right?” She brushed her lips over his chin and smiled at the way the scruff there tickled her lips. “It’s wild and out of control and I can’t think when I’m around you. That’s a bad thing when guns are going off and I need to run.”
One hand slipped up her back. “That sounds familiar.”
“So, maybe if we just burn this off—do it and then it’s over—that’ll help.” That was the least sexy thing she’d ever said, but she got the point across. Mutual attraction. Spontaneous and big.
His eyebrow lifted. “It’s not going to burn off.”
She had to agree with him there. She’d thrown in the phrase, thinking it would help make it make sense for both of them. She did not have a thing for sex and violence together and didn’t want him to think that. “I don’t think so, either, but we can try.”
“I keep thinking about the word burn.”
“Tomorrow something could happen and...” She nuzzled her cheek against his. “Well, I want a good memory.”
Both of his hands found her shoulders, and his mouth went to her ear. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
His touch and scent, being this close and feeling so much a part of him, blocked everything else out. She forgot about the danger and men with guns. Ignored the horror she’d witnessed and the fear that still held her in its grasp.
She pushed all that aside and focused on him. “Right now I want something to happen to me.”
“This is not smart.” But his mouth traveled over her.
He kissed her in that space behind her ear that made her shiver. “Agreed.”
“Anyone could walk by.”
Her fingers tunneled up under his pullover jacket, skimming over his firm muscles. “Now you’re reaching for excuses.”
“You’re right.” Then his hands touched her cheeks and the rest of the world melted away.
She tried to hold on to the thoughts bombarding her brain but couldn’t. Her body came alive with the sensations rocketing through her and around her. His kisses enticed her as his hands learned her curves. When he lifted her off her feet, she didn’t hesitate. Her legs wrapped around his hips and she held on tight.
The room spun around her and a hit of warmth had her body tingling. He laid her down on the cot and climbed on top of her, balancing his weight on his elbows but never letting their mouths break contact.
The bed rocked and creaked. His head shot up. “Think this will hold us?”
“I don’t care.” She was too busy shoving his shirt and the one under that up his body and off.
The material fell to the floor, forgotten. She took a minute to skim her fingertips over his collarbone. He was firm and fit. Everywhere she touched, the heat of his skin burned through her. The kiss dragged on and his hands wandered. She felt the tug at her waist and heard the zipper of her pants screech.
She didn’t care about any of it. She wanted her clothes off and her body rubbing against his. As if she said the wish out loud, he broke off the kiss and sat up. The cot wobbled, but he balanced his weight as he stripped her shirt off and unclasped her bra. He had his hands on her breasts and his mouth traveling down her neck before she could find her breath.
Then they went wild. Hands toured and legs shifted. She felt him kick off his shoes, and her hands went to his belt. The buckle clanked as she opened the buttons and slipped her hand inside. She held him, moving her hand over him.
“Julia, yes.” He held her head as his mouth took hers.
The kiss blinded her. Waves of heat crashed over her as the air rushed out of her lungs. Every nerve ending popped to life as she tried to remember every touch. But his expert hands and those long fingers took over. He caressed her. Slid her pants down and off, then covered her body with his again.
She felt his erection press against her. The energy in the room had her buzzing as her heart hammered a frantic beat in her chest. She heard a rip and he pushed his body off her by an inch or two to reach down between them.
Wanting the moment to last, she debated helping him roll the condom on. Thought about prolonging the intensity and need swirling around them. But she wanted this. Wanted him.
She helped him shove down his pants and welcomed his hips as they fell between her thighs. Sensations bombarded her as she drew her hands over him and felt his body start to press against hers.
His fingers touched her, making her ready for his entrance. The tips slipped over her in circles. Round and round until her hips swayed in time with his hand’s motion.
“Julia, be sure.” His words came out in a rush between heavy breaths.
She didn’t bother to answer with words. She lifted her hips and used her hands on his waist to guide him. Then he was inside her, filling her. Her inner muscles pulsed and her body hugged his. When he pushed in, then pulled out, she gasped. The sweet dizziness hit her as the friction of their bodies had everything inside her tightening.
She felt primed and ready. Need spiraled inside her and the slide of his body over hers had her wrapping even closer around him. Heat mixed with desire, and every cell inside her sparked to life.
As his rhythm picked up speed, her head fell back. She couldn’t get close enough or hold him tight enough. Her mouth opened on his neck. Her hips bucked and her muscles stiffened.
Then her body let go. The pulsing and shaking continued as light washed through her. The tremors went on and she tried to count the minutes but couldn’t concentrate long enough to do it.
When she finally opened her eyes again, her chest rose and fell on rapid breaths. She was about to say his name when the tension over his shoulders tightened. She could feel his body shift and hear the soft grunts as his warm breath blew across her neck. It took another few seconds for his weight to fall heavier against her and even longer until his muscles appeared to loosen and drop.
“Wow.” He made the word last for three syllables.
At least he could speak. She tried and a wheeze came out.
“You okay?” he asked, sounding as though he was sure the answer would be no.
“Understatement.” She wanted to hold him but couldn’t even move. Her muscles weighed a good hundred pounds each and her eyes started to close.
He lifted his head. “That sounds good.”
“I’m mostly amazed we didn’t break the cot. At one point it felt like it bent in half.” She looked around and saw the clothing scattered all over the floor.
“We got lucky there.” He lifted some of his weight off her as his body hovered over hers.
“I’d tell you to remind me to thank Holt for the condom, but that seems weird. It might freak him out. I don’t want to do that, since I need to keep seeing him.” It sounded weird even mentioning it, but she was grateful.
Cam laughed. “Yeah, even though we’re on the same team, we don’t share everything about our personal lives.”
“That’s good to know.” She was just babbling now. She was willing to say anything to keep the closeness going.
“I need to check the outside and you need to rest.”
But it looked as if that wasn’t going to happen. The only good news was Cam seemed concerned about her feelings. She couldn’t really ask for more than that.
“Is that your way of saying you have to get up?” she asked.
“Didn’t want you to think I was getting up because of some anticommitment thing.” He skimmed his fingertips along her collarbone, then kissed the trail he made.
Her vision blinked out. That was twice. She’d never had a man affect her the way he did. “You’re not?”
“You mean running?”
She barely knew what they were talking about anymore. “Yeah.”
“Not with you.” He kissed her lips again, light and sweet. “I don’t want to go anywhere else.”
Now, that was worth remembering.