HER feet were rooted to the ground. She couldn’t move them and didn’t know if she wanted to. The hand clamped on Saul’s dampened rapidly, mimicking the slide of cold sweat trickling down her spine.
Caera stared up at the three stories of house in front of her and felt her stomach pitch. If asked, she couldn’t have said why her nerves were on high alert or her heart pounded blood through her veins at a ridiculous rate. It was just the way her body reacted to anything new.
God, why did she have to be such a freak?
The door at the top of the short flight of cement steps opened and light spilled down over the iron railings and the sidewalk, spotlighting her. She quickly averted her face, tucking herself behind the shelter of Saul.
“Welcoming committee’s waiting,” he murmured and touched his lips to her hair. “Come say hi to everyone.”
“Saul, what are you doing down there? Get your ass up here and kiss me hello!” A soft, feminine voice floated from the open doorway. “Bring that sweet little thing with you. I’m dying to meet her.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Saul called back.
“Less of that, you cheeky bastard.”
Caera recognized the voice now. She’d had several conversations with it over the past few days, and she knew the nuances and the rhythm. Still, she took an instinctive step away from the light, from the voice, from the new path Saul pulled her along.
“Come with me, Caera.” Saul released her hand and slipped his arm around her waist, securing her more fully to his side. “Step for step, trust me to take you inside. To look after you, to protect you, to open your eyes to the new. Let me love you.”
Don’t make me go in there. “Don’t make them be nice to me, Saul. I don’t want sympathy friends. I’d rather be on my own than be pitied.” And, God, wasn’t that just pathetic in itself? “It’s fine. I’ll be fine on my own. I’ve been on my own for so long, it’s second nature.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous,” he said with a scowl.
“I’m being honest.”
“What’s keeping you two?” Tess called.
“Nothing,” Saul shot back. He spun Caera around and set his hands on her waist. “The only person you’re lying to when you say you’re being honest is you, Caera. You don’t want to be alone anymore. We both know it.”
Caera opened her mouth to snap out a retort when she suddenly became aware of someone standing impatiently to her left. She turned her head and stared into a pair of startling blue eyes.
Saul huffed. “Caera, meet Tess.”
“Finally!” Tess enthused, beaming at Caera with a wide, friendly smile. “Seriously, Saul, what are you doing out here? The poor lass will freeze if you don’t hurry up and get inside.”
“I’d like nothing more than to get her inside.”
Was she imagining things or was he gritting his teeth? She glanced between Saul and the glowing red-haired woman beside her and took a wary step back. This was way, way outside her comfort zone.
“Why don’t you go on inside, Saul? Mac’s at the bar waiting for you with Deanna. I just couldn’t wait for you to get here!” Tess threw her arms around him and kissed him briefly on the cheek. “Go on, get.”
Caera took another step back when Saul turned dark eyes on her. Trying to read the expression in them was impossible. But she knew she didn’t want him to leave her with a woman she didn’t know. “Saul.”
“On your own, baby.” Without a backward glance, he sauntered away up the steps and disappeared through the door.
She linked her hands together and looked anywhere but at Tess. Social awkwardness was a vicious curse, one she doubted she’d ever be able to conquer. It wasn’t as if she was going to start now. She wondered if she’d be able to inch away toward the car and lock herself in until this moronic attempt at socializing ended.
“For such an unassuming house, it’s quite daunting, isn’t it?” Tess said conversationally. Her shaggy red hair swung an inch above her slim shoulders, the streetlight sparking flashes of fire through it. Those sparkly blue eyes held a depth of secrets and mischief. “Not so long ago, I stood out here on a similar night. Hiding in the shadows, waiting for the police to come with bullhorns and spotlights to arrest for me for what I planned to do.”
Okay, so that was maybe a little bit intriguing. Caera paused in her plot to escape. Saul had told her some of Tess’ story, but only random little titbits that had stirred her curiosity.
“I wasn’t so different from you, aside from age. What are you, twenty?”
“Twenty-one.”
Tess nodded and gazed up at the building. “I had a couple years on you. Terrified, virginal, desperate to run away but knowing I’d lose the chance to explore something I’d wanted for a long time. I knew what was in there,” she said with a sigh. “I’d fantasized about what was in there, but it still scared me down to the bone.”
“I guess you went inside?”
Tess smiled and there was fondness. “I did. Paul was the guard dog at the door, and he helped me fill in forms. He and Mark, his then-sidekick, were crucial in helping me escape the clutches of a rather perverted jackass who called me ‘pet’. Repeatedly.”
Caera snorted before blushing furiously. She pressed her hands to her heated cheeks. “I’m so sorry, that was rude.”
“Don’t be stupid.” Tess grinned. “It wasn’t amusing at the time, I can tell you, but now? One of the funniest moments in my submissive history.”
There was that word again. Submissive. It brought to mind images of women on their knees, bound to service. Pain inflicted, absorbed, without so much as a whimper.
“You’re not like me,” Tess said gently, resting her hand on Caera’s tense arm. “In so many ways, you’re me a year ago. And yet we’re a world apart. Mac did that for me, Caera. My Dominant did that for me. Being submissive gave me confidence to be who I really am. It took some time, I’ll admit, to get used to a completely different lifestyle than what I was accustomed to, but I wouldn’t change things for anything.”
Caera watched the front door. Would Saul come back for her if Tess didn’t escort her in? “I don’t know if I can be what he expects me to be.”
“Expects is a demanding word, sweetheart. Wants, needs, hopes…You can only be who you are, Caera. From what Saul’s told me, he’s pretty much gone over you. I mean, the man is one of the most sought-after Doms in the state, and he’s all yours.”
“He’s gone over me?” Caera repeatedly dumbly.
Tess laughed, a light and pretty sound. She shook her head slightly. “He has told you he loves you, right?”
Hope shimmered through her like gold dust, sticking to everything and making it shine with the possibilities of being loved. “He, ah, yeah. Yes, he did. I just…I just didn’t believe him.”
Now the redhead looked at her as though she’d grown two heads and coughed fire. “You didn’t believe him? Any particular reason to think he was lying?”
Oh boy, could she feel any more like an idiot? “Not one I’d like to discuss.”
“Fair enough.” Tess took a step toward the house. “Whatever happens in this house is consensual, Caera. I promise you that. I’ll explain it to you in more detail after dinner, but I promise you nothing happens in here against anyone’s will. The consequences are too dire.”
Caera stared at the slim, pale hand Tess extended out to her. This was the last hurdle before the fall. That stomach-in-the-throat moment when the body balanced on the edge of a cliff, suspended for a second before the inevitable plummet. She blew out a hard breath. “This isn’t something I ever imagined.”
“No, I can see that.” Tess dropped her hand and instead linked her arm through Caera’s. “Don’t think of it that way. Consider it meeting the people who love Saul. Family time. Happy time. Fun.”
“Family time never ends well,” Caera muttered as Tess coaxed her toward the steps. “There’s arguments and a lot of harsh words thrown about that are meant to hurt. Accusations, denials. Shouting, screaming, drunken slurring. Not happy time. Not fun.”
They were taking the stairs one at a time. Caera could feel the resistance in her legs, her body’s attempt to refuse any further progress.
“Well, now. That’s an easy problem to solve. We all argue, Caera. It’s human nature. Sometimes there are harsh words, sometimes those words hurt. In this family, we argue and then when the dust settles, we make up. Shouting, screaming and yes, even drunken slurring, it all disperses when the emotion behind the fighting is relieved.”
The door loomed ahead. If she reached out her arm, she’d be able to press her hand to the cold, smooth wood. “I came from destruction. The people who raised me wanted nothing but to tear themselves apart any way they could. That included ruining me in as many ways as they could devise.”
Sympathy darkened Tess’ eyes, and she drew Caera into a hug. When she stepped back, Tess’ hands held her face softly. “Walk away. They didn’t deserve you. Through this door,” she said with a smile, and Caera saw dreams and memories flash through that midnight blue gaze, “is the only family you’ll ever need. We’ll love you, protect you, show you things you never thought possible. And through it all? Saul will be by your side.”
Tears choked her. Caera had an idea what Tess was proposing and she wanted so much to take it with both hands, pull it into her chest, and just wrap herself around it. Unconditional love and acceptance. An opportunity to be included, to be part of something lasting.
The only things stopping her?
Fear and a wooden door.
*
“Don’t look so worried, Saul. Tess will make sure your girl’s okay. If anyone can handle a scared young woman, it’s my Tess.” There was no small amount of pride in Mac’s voice; it swelled from the tone. “After all, not so long back, the scared young woman was her.”
Saul swirled scotch around his glass and kept his eyes on the door. Neither woman had come in, and he was getting anxious Caera wouldn’t be coming at all. “She recovered well. Amazing really, after what she went through. What you both went through.”
Mac’s green eyes darkened with memory. He studied his own scotch before throwing it back. “Resilient. My Tess is a resilient woman. I might not have met your intended yet, but she sounds to be cut from the same cloth.”
“She doesn’t think she is. Caera doesn’t believe she can be loved. Doesn’t believe a lot of things about herself. It breaks me to see her so full of self-doubt.”
“Are you sure she’s ready for this?”
“No.” Saul’s chuckle was self-deprecating. “Honestly? She has potential to be a top-notch submissive. The thought of training her, shaping her to that full potential, excites me. But if she says no? If what she sees tonight doesn’t spark her curiosity and the fire she’s got buried far beneath her anxiety? I don’t have it in me to walk away from her, Mac.”
“You love her.” It wasn’t a question.
The pleasurable ache in his heart deepened. “I adore her. Do anything for her. Making her happy, making sure she never wants for a single thing for the rest of her life? It’s become my primary mission in life. She doesn’t think she’s lovable; I’m going to prove her wrong in all the right ways.”
Mac slapped him on the back hard enough to rattle his bones. He gestured to the bartender and within moments both their glasses were filled with an inch of prime Scottish scotch. “Well then, a toast seems to be in order. To your good luck in finding the measure of your heart; may the light of love shine forevermore upon you both.”
Glass tapped against glass with a cheerful clink. Both men downed the scotch with ease.
“No more of these for me,” Mac said with a chuckle. “Executing a scene while pissed wouldn’t go down well, and tonight needs to be just exactly right.”
“I never told you how much I appreciate you doing this for me, Mac.”
“Nonsense. You’d do this for me. Tess and Dee are on board with it. It’s not a hassle, Saul.”
“Speaking of, where is Deanna?”
Mac smirked and stretched leisurely. “She’s on room prep. She won’t be long before she’s here; she’ll be joining us for dinner. I must admit, you’ve brightened our day up. We haven’t indulged in a display for a while.”
“Glad I could be of assistance.” Saul’s head came up and snapped toward the door as he heard the faint squeak of hinges. He blew out a relieved breath when he saw Tess and Caera step into the room, arms linked like best friends. “Thank God for small miracles.”
“That’s my Tess,” Mac said as he slipped off his stool. “Miracle worker extraordinaire. We’ll stay for another drink down here with the girls, then head upstairs to our place for dinner if that suits you.”
“Absolutely.”
The girls reached them a second later. Caera’s eyes were wide with fascination. She reached for Saul’s hand as soon as she was close enough to make contact. “This doesn’t look like a sex club, Saul.”
Mac burst into deep, raucous laughter. “What a compliment.”
Saul’s lips twitched when her gaze landed on his friend and then inched up, up, up. Her lips parted in shock as she took in Tess’ Dom, all six feet six inches of him. He sensed the moment instinct took over her fight or flight response and stopped her from retreating. “Caera, baby, this is my boss and very good friend, Ian McAllister. You can call him Mac for now.”
She blinked. “What does everyone else call him?”
“I call him Sir,” Tess interjected helpfully, sliding into Mac’s embrace as though she belonged there. Quite obviously, she did. Mac’s arms roped around her and held her tight to his body.
It was a wise move on Mac’s part, Saul mused, for him not to make a move toward the uncertain woman. From the vibrations shuddering down her arm, he had a feeling Caera would have bolted.
“Nice to meet you, Caera. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Mac spoke quietly, almost hushed. “What would you like to drink?”
Her eyes darted over the shiny bottles behind the gleaming bar. “Strong. I think I need something strong.”
“Vodka lemonade,” Saul corrected and touched his palm to her cheek. “Light on the vodka. Caera isn’t a big drinker.”
“Fair enough.” Mac tugged Tess away to the far end of the bar to place the order.
“He’s huge,” Caera muttered.
“Tall and lean,” he agreed.
“But she’s tiny.”
Saul chuckled and pulled her into a position similar to that of Mac and Tess. His hands rested on her belly and kneaded gently. “There’s not that much difference between them in actuality. Visually, yes, they make a statement. But things like that don’t change the fact that everything lines up just the same in bed. The height difference is actually rather sexy.”
Caera tilted her face up to look at him. “Sexy?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t think about him bending down to her to kiss her. Imagine Mac boosting her up, Tess’ legs wrapping around his waist so his cock is lined up with her pussy.” He murmured the words into her ear and slid his hand down between her thighs to cup her. “His hands on her ass, holding her up. All Mac needs to do is shift just a little and he can take Tess against the wall, wild and fierce. Passionate and demanding.”
Caera’s pussy soaked through the material at her crotch. He could feel the heat and the dampness seep against his hand. He wished he could strip her and watch her arousal blossom before he took her in the way he’d just described.
“That’s how I’m going to take you later, Caera. Back against the wall, your legs locked around my ass while my cock drives so far inside you, you’ll see stars.” The sudden quiver of her thighs around his hand thrilled him.
“Saul,” she whimpered.
His palm rubbed against her clit through the damp material. The hitch in her breathing, the low moan of need made him smile. “I can make you come where you stand, baby.” He slid his gaze over to the couple standing ten feet away. He had no doubts they had an ear cocked. “Just give me the word and I’ll make it happen.”
“Right now?” Her voice was strained.
“Right now,” he confirmed.
“There are people,” she hissed at him and then made a little ah sound when he pressed firmly on her sensitive nerves.
“I know,” he retorted and gave her a quick nip on the side of the neck. Even as they stood by the bar, the door opened and two men walked in, talking companionably between them. Saul recognized them both as Doms. “We arrived early, Caera. From now until midnight, more people will be coming to enjoy themselves.”
“Oh.”
“Tell me what you want, baby. I know what you need, but you have to tell me.” He started to nibble along her throat, his teeth grazing over her bobbing pulse. He couldn’t wait to have his collar around this delicate neck, telling all and fucking sundry that this woman belonged to him.
Would she break out the brave warrior beneath the worried little bunny rabbit? Or would said bunny come out on top before it dove for the rabbit hole and safety? Saul could all but see the whiskers twitch, sensing danger.
“Okay.”
He blinked in surprise. He’d hoped but he hadn’t really expected her to give him that answer. Pride bloomed inside him, bright and shiny, and all for her. “Good girl. Turn to the bar, put your hands on the edge.”
They moved together, and without a word, her hands gripped the wood until her knuckles turned white. The mirror in front of them reflected their position, the nervous submissive-in-consideration protected by the confident Dominant behind her.
Their eyes met in the reflection; Saul saw the desire glowing in his and studied the anxious but almost eager expression in hers. “Just relax. There’s no one here but you and me.” The heel of his hand ground against her clit. “Come for me, Caera. Quietly, unless you want to draw attention.”
She blew out a shuddering breath and nodded quickly. Her hips jerked into the ministration of his hand, bucking when the pressure hit just the right spot. Soft, keening cries whispered from her throat as she closed her eyes and allowed her head to fall back against his shoulder.
With his free hand, Saul slipped the button of her jeans free and delved into the opening and down into the moist heat of heaven. Fingers stroked along the wet seam and tortured her clit with deft flicks and tugs, pinches and slow circling rubs.
Her hand shot down and grabbed hold of his through the denim.
“Hands on the bar,” he growled, asserting himself from the start. He knew he had to become firmer with her now to set her on the right path for finding her submissiveness without scaring her away. “Keep them there.”
“Y-yes.” The hand released him and returned to the wooden edge.
His Dom snarled and demanded she address him with a proper, “Yes, Sir.” But Saul calmed himself. She wasn’t familiar with the rules yet. She didn’t know how to do so many things, but she would learn.
He would teach her well.
“Clever girl.” He thrust two fingers as deep as he could manage at this frustrating angle. He was trapped by the denim, unable to penetrate as far as he would like, but she responded with a moan that drew every eye in the room to them. “Rewarding you for being so brave makes me so happy.”
Her pussy clamped down on him, slick and silken, with a rhythmic suck and pull. Cries of delight accompanied every labored exhale. In the mirror, she was beautiful. More than beautiful. Skin flushed tantalizingly pink from throat to ears to cheeks. The slightest sheen of sweat skimmed her flesh.
“Come, Caera. Now.” He made it a demand, ordered her to obey him with the tone of his voice and the manipulations of his hand. And like the good submissive she was going to be, she came apart at the seams with a low, almost painful moan. “Oh, you’re a good girl. My good girl. You belong to me, Caera. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Polite applause broke out, much to his amusement. His woman was too mired in the endorphins of her orgasm to pay heed, barely able to keep her legs beneath her. Only the brace of his body and the position of his hands kept her standing.
“That was quite a show,” Mac murmured in his ear. “You’re a lucky man, Saul.”
“Thanks.” Saul removed his hand, buttoned the jeans back up and turned Caera around to face him. The dazed look in her eyes made him grin stupidly. “Hey, baby. You okay there?”
She looked around the room, bewildered. When she swayed, Saul steadied her. A glass was pressed into her hand, and Mac carefully wrapped her fingers so the drink didn’t slip from her numb digits. “Drink it up, lass. You’ve earned that one.”
“I…what?”
“Drink, baby.” Saul helped bring the glass to her lips and held it while she took a quick gulp of what might have been water. She choked suddenly, her eyes clearing. “Vodka and lemonade?”
Mac winked. “Light on the lemonade.”
“Damn it, boss.”
“She’ll need the kick. Hell of an orgasm; I think she made Tess jealous.” Mac grinned over to where Tess stood talking to the bartender. “The club’s going to get busy anytime, Saul. Would you prefer to stay here for a while or head up to more private accommodations?”
Caera took another slurp of alcohol and then giggled. “I feel very floaty.”
Concerned, unsure if she really was that much of a lightweight when it came to drinking, Saul took the glass from her and sipped. He winced and glared at Mac. “Fuck me, Mac. Light on the lemonade? There’s no fucking lemonade at all!”
“Leave the lass be,” Mac admonished and gave Saul’s shoulder a firm whack. “Once she has a decent meal, the alcohol will soak right up and leave her with a slight buzz. She’s not going to be irrevocably traumatized by having a strong drink.”
“I suppose not,” Saul muttered, resigned.
Caera hiccupped softly and leaned into Saul for a kiss. “I like your friends,” she said in a mock whisper everyone within twenty feet heard. “Do you think they like me?” Her lips were warm and soft when they met his.
“They love you,” he assured her, biting gently into her bottom lip.
A bright, innocent smile blossomed. “Really?”
“Absolutely.” God bless her, Saul thought with a wealth of adoration and love. “Tess and Mac have dinner waiting to be served upstairs. Are you ready to head up?”
Her head tipped back to peruse the ceiling and she let out a pretty little giggle. “There are lights in the sky, Saul. Can you see them?”
Saul checked out the ceiling too and studied the twinkling LED lights scattered throughout the midnight blue paintwork. The decorators had done a damned good job during the renovation, after the hostage episode. Mac had decided the club needed a fresh face for reopening and replaced almost everything in the main function room. “Very pretty, baby.”
Caera’s hand slipped into his. “I’m ready for dinner now.”
“Okay then, if you’re sure.”
Tess moved back to them. She grinned at Saul and stuck her tongue out playfully at Mac. “Why don’t you come with me, sweetheart? I have someone who’s dying to meet you. Mac, I’ll bring Caera and Deanna to the apartment once they’re introduced.”
Mac simply lifted an eyebrow.
Tess rolled her eyes and said in a vaguely sarcastic voice, “Please Sir, may I go play with my friends before dinner?”
“No, you may not. You can add ten strikes of the flogger to your punishment this evening, though.” Mac ran his tongue around strong white teeth before he smirked at Saul. “And add whatever Saul deems appropriate as well.”
“Oh, come on,” Tess muttered sullenly.
“Fifteen.”
“Sonofa—”
“Twenty.”
Caera’s head bobbed back and forth between the exchange as though she watched an intense tennis match. “What just happened?”
“Tess earned herself a punishment,” Mac said gently before Saul could say a word. “The more she argued, the more she disrespected me, and her punishment rose accordingly.”
The color left Caera’s face like someone had pulled the plug. “Punishment?”
“Bondage, discipline,” Saul said quietly. He didn’t like the horrified look on her face or the sickly pallor of her skin. “Breathe, Caera. Don’t let your imagination run away with you. It’s not half as bad as you believe, and it’s more enjoyable for Tess than Mac’ll have you think.”
As if on cue, Mac pulled a tragically funny mean face, complete with buggy eyes and a mimicry of fangs. He poked his tongue between his teeth and let it lol to one side. He yanked Tess into his hold and pretended to chomp fiercely on her neck as she squealed in appropriate mock fear.
“This lifestyle is part fun and games, part rules and regulations. Where there’s punishment and pain, reward and pleasure follow hand in hand. Orgasms are as much a positive reinforcement for good behavior as they are a negative for a broken rule.”
“Do you abide by the rules?” Caera murmured, her eyes focused completely on the redheaded couple making out in front of her. Passion washed over Saul and ignited his own desire to take Caera into a scene. By the way she shifted restlessly, he imagined she felt it too and was affected by it just as much.
“Always. A Dominant is in control at all times until his submissive says no. That’s all you ever need to say, baby. Your safe word is your control. A Dom cannot morally ignore his sub’s safe word; if he does, he’s an ignorant ass who doesn’t deserve the trust placed in him by his submissive.”
Caera’s lips formed a slight pout even as her eyes seemed to disappear into themselves. Everything about her stilled and became almost dreamy as her external façade shut down.
Saul frowned at her, concerned. Was this some sort of denial? Her way of escaping from this time and place? What the hell was she doing?
As though the few minutes she’d been quiet had been only a blink in time, Caera opened her eyes and nodded at him. “Okay. Okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ll trust you in this, Saul. Show me your world.”